Absence
by xDreamlessx
Summary: Set during New Moon. When Edward leaves Bella, he's also taking away the girl Bella was secretly in love with – Alice. Meanwhile, in their absence, there is no one left to protect her from Victoria – who's rage and loneliness lead her to an unexpected affinity for Bella. Bella/Alice, Bella/Victoria
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is something that just came to me. It's mostly canon, but I might be a little rusty on my Twi-lore, so expect a few liberties. Hope you like it. ;)**

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Absence

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Chapter 1:

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_It was the night of junior prom when I realized how beautiful Alice really was._

_She was doing my makeup back at her place and she had told me to be very still, which gave me lots of time to study her face as she bent to my lips with the lipstick. All vampires were unearthly, but Alice was special even by vampire standards. There was just something about her. Button nose, slightly upturned. Full lips, perpetually smiling. And her eyes. Her eyes were huge, and up close like this you could see exactly how pretty they were. Soft amber in color, long lashed. She had already done her own makeup, both of us in our dresses, and the light dusting of blush over her chinawhite cheeks gave her supernaturally pale complexion an extra hint of life and loveliness._

_Before she was done doing my lipstick, she noticed me staring. She smiled and I felt myself blush a little. I wanted to look down, but I couldn't move my head. The whole thing was making me feel very strange, standing there in the bathroom, all dressed up, still like a statue with that feather-touch of lipstick on my lips like a faint and brushing kiss. Thankfully, she was almost done. She finished up with great care and then she giggled and capped the lipstick with a flourish._

"_There," she said. "All done."_

_Finally I was able to look away. Closeness had always made me uncomfortable, even with Edward. "Thanks," I said._

_My voice might've come out a bit mutteringly. She was packing her things back into her makeup case and she glanced at me._

"_You okay?" she asked._

"_Yeah," I said, nodding. "Yeah, I'm just…"_

_I shrugged, as if this whole thing was such a bother, and then I turned to my reflection in the mirror over the sink. Alice was a maestro with the makeup and my dress was a beautiful dark navy gown. I really did look very nice, but honestly? None of that really excited me._

_I don't know why. I guess I just wasn't much in the mood. I never even wanted to go to prom, but Edward and Alice had talked me into it. Edward always thought he knew what I wanted to do even more than I did. He was kind of controlling. Alice was too, but she was my best friend, she was supposed to be. _

_Alice observed my sullenness with a playful roll of her eyes. "Bella, this anti-prom attitude was cute to begin with, but now you're just being childish." She put her arms around my middle from behind and set her chin on my shoulder to smile at me in the mirror. "Let me explain this to you, okay? You're wearing hundred dollar shoes, your dress is amazing, and you have a boyfriend who loves you with all his heart. Tonight is going to be one of the best nights of your life. Okay?"_

_I smirked at her reflection slightly. "It's only one shoe."_

"_Huh?"_

"_You said hundred dollar shoes. But it's only one shoe. So it's more like fifty dollars."_

_Alice narrowed her eyes at me in the mirror playfully and then she released me. I turned to face her, standing stiffly on the cast that covered my broken leg, courtesy of my tussle with James. The cast even coated my foot. Alice glanced at it doubtfully but it wasn't in her nature to be pessimistic._

"_Okay, fine," she said. "You have a leg in a cast, so maybe it's not completely perfect. But, as with everything, it's the imperfections that make it so special."_

_She finished her speech with a wink. I didn't believe a word._

"_Now you're just making stuff up," I said._

_Alice sighed and took my hands as if to tell me something important. She looked into my face. Her hands were really cold and really slim. I didn't know why I was so aware of them, the touch of them._

"_Bella," she said to me soberly. "Just shut up and be excited. Okay?"_

_I smiled and nodded reluctantly. "Okay."_

_She let go of my hands and I turned back to the mirror, trying to hold on to my smile. I smoothed down my dress, feeling the sheen of satin under my hands. I tried to get excited, but dammit, it just wouldn't happen._

_Alice was watching me in the mirror and after a moment she cocked her head._

"_Or is it something else?" she asked._

_I blinked at her. "What do you mean?"_

"_Is there something else that's bothering you?"_

"_Like what?"_

"_I don't know. Is it Victoria? Are you afraid she might come back?"_

"_Not really."_

"_Then what is it?"_

_I looked at her in the mirror. She was standing there in her black satin dress and she seemed to have realized that there maybe there really was something wrong with me. Her round yellow eyes were filled with concern and for some reason the look on her face made my throat tighten. But instead of telling her, I just forced a smile and shook my head._

"_It's nothing," I said._

"_Is it Edward?"_

"_It's nothing, Alice."_

"_Are you sure?"_

_I nodded, smiling, and this time I almost managed to convince myself. Alice didn't quite seem to believe it, but she seemed willing to let it go. I was glad she did, because there was no way I could tell her what was really bothering me. How could I?_

_I didn't even know what it was myself. _

—

Even now, months later, I still didn't.

But I thought about it a lot. I was lying awake in bed, staring up at the ceiling. The alarm hadn't gone off yet and it was still early. Gray in the room. Cold. The holidays were over and today was the first day back at school. That was bad enough, but even worse was the thought of going back to school without Edward being there. Without Alice. Without any of the Cullens. It had been two months since Edward left me, taking his family with him, and I still missed them so much.

I was still laying there in bed when my dad opened the door to check if I was awake.

"Bells? Just making sure you're up. School today. First day back. Remember?"

"Yeah," I said. "I'll be up in a minute."

He waited. I didn't move.

"Well, I better get to work," he said finally. "I'll see you tonight."

I didn't reply, but I heard him creak back down the stairs and I heard the front door and after a while I heard his car as well. I continued laying there, dimly thinking about how much I missed her. Alice. I'm not sure why, but it always seemed to be Alice I dwelled on. I think I had underestimated how important she was too me. Back then. She had been one of the few things that really made me smile. I can't believe she didn't even say goodbye. Even if Edward told her not to, she could've at least—

The alarm on my phone went off.

I picked it up and turned it off. While I had it in my hands, I checked for messages or missed calls. There was nothing. Neither Alice or Edward or any of the Cullens had contacted me since they left town, but I kept hoping. Part of me would just never believe they could leave me like this. Edward had said himself he loved me. You don't leave people you love, not even for their own good. You just don't. And Alice…I'm pretty sure Alice liked me too much to just leave like this too.

But then I sighed and threw off the covers.

Because deep down I knew I was just kidding myself.

They were never coming back.

Ten minutes later I was in the shower, yawning under the water. Afterwards I dried my hair and brushed it and sorted out some outfit to wear. I was sifting through tops in a drawer when I came across a top that Alice had bought me ages ago. She had always enjoyed dressing me up like her own personal Barbie Doll. I lifted out the top and looked at it. It was black with a silver shading of a unicorn across it. Alice had bought me a ton of clothes, but I never wore any of it anymore. It was a nice top, but I tucked it back into the drawer, and found a different one.

It was a cold and damp day when I finally went outside. The sidewalks were wet. Must've rained in the night. I threw my bag into the truck and climbed in behind the wheel. I turned the key, and…

Nothing.

The engine didn't start. I frowned and turned the key again. It still didn't start. Well. That was weird. I let go of the key and sighed. So what was I supposed to do now? I guess I could walk. It wasn't too far. Or I could call my dad. He might be able to give me a ride. Too bad Alice and Edward had split town. Either of them could've given me a ride, too.

God, I was seriously not looking forward to school without the Cullens. Everybody knew that Edward had dumped me, so there was that. But there was also the fact that there would be no Alice to say hi. It seemed like a small thing to be sad about, but Alice really had a way of greeting people. Sometimes she would even hug you. It was always nice when she did that.

I sat there for a few minutes thinking about Alice.

Then I shook my head, got out the truck, and went back to bed.

I only slept a couple more hours before I got up again. It was probably a bad idea to skip school, but what else was I going to do? The truck wouldn't work. Still, I felt pretty bad. Not really a foreign feeling these days. I spent the rest of the day in my room, listening to my iPod and playing Pokémon. The playlist was Edward's piano solos that he had recorded for me. A very somber selection. Just the thing to feed the depression. God, Edward was such an asshole. How could he just up and leave like that? Without even talking to me about it? I mean, sure, his brother Jasper had almost killed me in a frenzy of bloodlust over a papercut, but…

I sighed. But nothing, I guess. Edward could've handled it a little better, but he did have a point. As much as I trusted the Cullens, there was a very real danger in being part of their lives. Not just the incident with Jasper, but the incident with James as well. How many times had I almost died at the hands of a vampire since I hooked up with Edward? More than I was comfortable with, to be honest. But still. Mortality wouldn't be a problem if Edward would, say, turn me into a vampire as well. It seemed like an easy solution to me. To Alice, as well. She had told me once that she almost wanted to turn me herself, with or without Edward's permission.

But they didn't. Instead they just left.

Guess I wasn't as important to them as they said I was.

By the time dad came home I was in the kitchen, making dinner. Steak. Ugh. I was so off meat. Dad loved it, though. Call him old fashioned.

"Hey dad," I said casually, as if I wasn't worried the school might've called him.

He frowned and set his keys on the counter. "The school called me at the station."

Drat. Fucking small town.

"Oh, uh…"

"They said you didn't turn up today."

I flipped the steaks, avoiding eye contact. "Yeah, sorry, I was…"

"Now, look, Bells. I know you've been upset since that boy left town, but—"

"The truck broke down, dad," I snapped. "Jesus."

He calmed down a little. Just a little. I did too. I don't know why I barked at him like that, but for some reason it really pissed me off that that he thought I was so messed up over a guy. Because that was pathetic. I mean, I don't claim to be the most independent young woman in the world, but when you accuse me of falling to pieces over a boy, I'm gonna at least deny it.

"What do you mean broke down?" he asked.

"I don't know," I muttered, focusing on the steaks. "It wouldn't start."

"And you couldn't walk?"

"It was raining."

"You could've called me to give you a ride."

"You were at work."

"Well, you can't just skip school because of a little car trouble, Bells."

"The truck didn't start, dad. What else was I supposed to do?"

I switched off the stove sullenly. He frowned but he appeared willing to let it go. For now.

Soon I had dinner on the table. We sat and ate, mostly in silence. We had never been the most talkative family, but with my moods lately, things were a little strained. He didn't approve of being depressed over losing a boyfriend. Neither did I, but I bet it was far easier to be judgemental when it wasn't your own heart that had been ripped out of your chest and stomped into the floor. It was more than just a boyfriend I lost, anyway.

While we were eating, my phone buzzed. It was in my pocket. I had a fleeting hope it might be Alice. I didn't have many other friends that I was in contact with. But when I pulled the phone out and checked, I saw it was just a text from Angela.

**Where were you today?**

I sighed and put the phone back in my pocket without replying. I'd reply later. Or maybe I wouldn't bother. Stupid question, anyway. If I wasn't at school, where else would I be? Home, durr.

"Who was that?" dad asked.

I shook it off as if it wasn't important. "Just Angela."

After dinner dad went out to inspect the truck with a flashlight and the pretence that he knew anything at all about repairing cars. I did the dishes and went upstairs to play a bit more Pokémon. Gotta catch all those little fuckers. I was trying to build a Fairy-type team. Fairies are awesome. I'd never been much of a video game person, but the little handheld had been a lifesaver these last few months. It kept my mind off everything else.

Like the Cullens. God, I was never going to get over this. It was just such a shitty thing to happen. I mean, it wasn't just a boyfriend and a bestfriend that I lost. It was my hopes, too. My future. My dream of being a vampire. Immortal. Eternal youth and beauty. Edward might've even been my soulmate. And not just Edward. Alice, too. With Alice we would've been BFFs literally. Best friends _forever_. How awesome would that be? And then there was all the rest of the Cullens. I hadn't spent much time with the others, but Emmett seemed to really like me, and Jasper did as well—when he wasn't dying to rip my throat out, at least.

I sighed, sitting on my bed with my back against the wall. I understood why they had to leave, but it wasn't fair. It just wasn't.

Meanwhile dad was finished outside and he had come upstairs to give me his professional opinion on the truck. He saw I had my iPod on and knocked on the door to get my attention. I pulled the earbuds out.

"Truck's all fixed," he said.

"What was wrong with it?"

"Battery cable was loose. If you had called Triple A, they could've fixed it in two seconds."

"I didn't think of that."

"No, you just thought about skipping school."

I breathed out through my nose and stared at the handheld in my lap. Dad breathed out through his nose as well, exactly the same as I had, but it was him who softened first. He came into the room a little and sat down on my bed. I looked up grudgingly.

"Look, Bella," he said. "I understand, okay? Edward's gone. And I know you miss him, but…"

"It's not just Edward, dad. He took his whole family with him. Alice was my best friend."

He nodded. Half smiled. "Yeah. I always liked that Alice kid. She always made you smile. Which is more than I can say for Edward."

I smiled as well. Sadly. Alice had done more than make me smile. She had made me blush. She had made my heart race. She had made me wonder if I…

"But still, Bells," he went on. "Life happens. Friends come and go. You can't let it affect you."

"I know. I'll be fine, dad. I just miss them."

"Well, try to cheer up, okay? I hate seeing you so down."

"I will. I'm sorry."

He gave me another rough father-like smile and then he rose from the bed and went to the door. He turned back and lingered for a moment. He did that sometimes. Whenever he ran out of things to say, it always took him a moment or two to realize it.

"Well," he said. "I'm going to bed. Night, Bells."

"Night, dad."

"You gonna be up much longer?"

"Nah, I'll be in bed soon."

"Alright. Sleep well."

"You too."

He closed the door partly and continued down the hall.

I looked down at the game in my lap. I was gonna keep playing for a little bit, but then I realized I could probably sleep if I tried, so I turned it off and decided to go to bed too. Sleep was even better than video games to keep my mind off everything. Sometimes it was the only thing in a day that I looked forward to. Just a nice night of blankness.

Before turning in, I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth quickly. When I was done, I spat into the sink and looked into the mirror. I looked pretty sad, even to myself. Pale. Empty eyed. No wonder dad was worried about me. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't do it. My eyes were tearing up. I blinked them. God, I missed her. I missed her so much. Fuck Edward.

It was Alice I wanted back.

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	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks for reviews. :) Yeah, the canon was a bit off. I forgot that in the books Bella was on dialup internet and listening to CDs. Were iPods even invented back then? Lol. Regarding the final pairing, I'm pretty open minded, so we'll see how it develops. :)**

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Chapter 2:

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I was up early the next morning, depressed and mopey as usual, and my mood didn't improve when I found that my truck was actually repaired. I had half hoped that dad might have messed it up even more, but no such luck. The engine grumbled to life, no more eager to get going than I was, and with a sigh and some muttering under my breath, I spun the wheel and pulled out into the street.

It was another cold morning, but not very gray. There was even a little sun. Not much, but enough to keep the Cullens home. So even if they hadn't left town, I guess I wouldn't have seen them today, anyway.

It was still early when I pulled up in the parking lot at school. It was mostly empty. I got out the truck and slung my bag over my shoulder. I looked over at where the Cullen's usually parked, but naturally there was no Silver Volvo there. Just an empty space. _As empty as my heart, _I thought, and I actually chuckled once at how maudlin and over-dramatic the thought was. I mean, come on. Get it together, Swan. Your boyfriend dumped you, boo hoo. And his sister obviously didn't give too many fucks about you either. So why are you so sad?

Good question. I sighed and continued into the main building.

Angela greeted me enthusiastically at our first class together and it actually bought a little smile to my face. Angela was one of the few real friends I had made since coming to Forks. Actually, she was my only real friend now, since Alice was long gone. Long gone and never coming back. I still couldn't believe she never said goodbye. Not even a text. I really thought we were closer than that. I mean, to me she was the sister I never had. I still remember how tightly she had hugged me the very first time we had met. Edward had bought me back to his place in order to introduce me to his family. Alice was only the one who was really happy to meet me. It had taken me by surprise, the way she had lit up and smiled and wrapped her arms around me. As if I was her long lost sister. And in a way, maybe I was. I learned later that she had been having visions of me with her brother for a long time and she had only been waiting to meet me.

Too bad it was all lies and bullshit.

I shook my head and tried to swallow down a bite of my sandwich. It was lunch time and my eyes were beginning to sting a little, right there at the table with all my friends. I managed to shake away the tears, but I couldn't shake away the feeling. Not just the hurt, but betrayal too. I looked over at the Cullen table. It was empty. No Rosalie, distantly keeping her eyes to herself. No Jasper, brooding over his lunch tray. No Emmett, pretending to chew a potato chip and grinning at the room. No Edward, trying not to stare at me. No Alice, smiling at me perchance our eyes would meet.

I looked down at my own tray sullenly. Everybody else was talking, but I was pretty much ignoring them, wrapped up in my own misery. It just wasn't fair. I fucking hated how much I missed them when they obviously didn't feel the same way. Especially Alice. She treated me like I was her sister, but the whole time I was basically nothing. I just wish she'd never pretended to care about me so much, that way it wouldn't hurt so much. Edward was no better, either. All that talk about mates. Whatever. I guess he changed his mind. Sometimes I wondered if he really cared about protecting me or if he was just using that as an excuse to dump me. Maybe a little bit of both. I mean, let's be real. I was never in his league.

The last class of that day was biology, another stab of nostalgia I didn't need. I stuck close to Angela's side and avoided the bench I used to share with Edward. It hurt even just to look at it. Angela seemed to have noticed my depression and she got quiet for a while as we shared a microscope and copied our answers into our books. She had been visibly feeling sorry for me all day and now that we were alone she finally decided that maybe it was okay to try and talk about it.

"So how you feeling?" she asked. "You haven't even mentioned it."

"Mentioned what?"

"Edward."

"Oh," I said. I shrugged.

Angela waited, but I didn't say anything else. I felt kind of bad to ignore her, but I didn't know what to say. It had been months, but the hurt was still fresh.

"Nobody even knows why they left," Angela said. "Do you?"

I sighed. To protect me. To get rid of me. Who knows? I shrugged again. "Not really."

"He didn't tell you?"

"Nope."

"That's kind of cold."

"Yep," I said, and I guess that was another thing to be mad at Edward for. At the very least he could've given me some kind of excuse to explain his disappearing act. Something unavoidable that would've painted him as just as heartbroken as I was. I would've preferred to be 'lovers parted by fate' rather than 'girlfriend dumped because her boyfriend left town.' Now everyone is going to think I was no big deal to him, just some chick he dated and got rid of. Hell, maybe that's exactly what I was.

"I can't believe he didn't tell you," Angela said. "I thought he loved you."

I sighed and kept my eyes on my notebook. "I thought so too."

Angela looked like she wanted more details but she could see I was still a little down about it so she let it go.

For the rest of the day, the same thought stuck with me: did Edward really love me? Before he left, I was so sure. He had saved my life, stalked me, watched me sleep without my permission. If that wasn't love, what was? But if he really did love me, how could he leave me so easily? Heartless bastard didn't even cry. Just dumped me and left me laying there. If he really had loved me, you'd think he could've come up with some other way to protect me that didn't involve leaving me—and taking Alice with him.

Alice. Was it easy for her too? Did she argue with Edward? Did she try and make him stay? Did she even care?

I pulled up outside my house and got out the truck, slamming the door shut. I really have to try and stop thinking about all this, or else I was never going to get over it. But at the same time, did I actually want to get over it? I didn't know. Depression and memories was the only thing keeping them in my life. Alice and Edward. Once I got over it, they really would be gone. I didn't want that. And besides…maybe they would come back. Maybe they miss me just as much as I miss them, and maybe…

I shook my head, trudging up the stairs. Just shut up, Bella. They're gone, alright? And they're never coming back, so just—

There was someone in my room.

Victoria.

I had flipped on the light and my hand fell away from the switch in utter shock. She was standing at the window and now she turned around. I had only ever seen her once before, during that baseball game in the thunderstorm, but there was no mistaking that pale skin, that flaming red hair. Her eyes were blood red, vampire red, and they held me transfixed in fear like a doe or some other kind of prey. She smiled.

"Well," she said. "You must've known this was coming, right? Your friends made it pretty easy for me. I see they've abandoned you."

I had a fleeting thought to run away.

Then it deflated.

Because there was no possible way I could get away from a vampire and there was no use even trying.

Her smile curved into a smirk at my immobility. "Not going to run?"

"Would there be a point?"

"Not much of one. How about a scream?"

I didn't answer. I just glared at her with tears filling my eyes.

"Feel free to scream if you want," she went on. "The neighbours are out and your father won't be home for hours. I've been watching you for a long time. Waiting."

Then with blinding speed she crossed the room in a blur and I felt something seize a handful of my hair. It was her hand. I gasped in pain and realized her face was right in front of mine, eyes burning, lip curled in anger.

"You killed my mate," she seethed.

I whimpered. "No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did," she hissed. "You and that boyfriend of yours."

"No. James came after me. He was going to kill me."

"And now _I'm_ going to kill you."

"No, please—!"

Victoria threw me off my feet and across the room. I hit the wall with a thud and landed on something soft—my bed. I groaned and looked up at her. She smirked, her momentary rage simmering back down into cool hatefulness. I sniffed and cowered back against the wall. She smirked.

"Are you sure you don't want to scream?" she asked.

"Fuck you," I spat.

She raised an auburn eyebrow, smiling like a cat at a canary. "That's very brave," she said. "I guess you don't want me to make this quick."

She reached into the bed and grabbed my hair again and threw me back across the room. I landed into my desk and pushed the monitor off. I was struggling to regain myself when her hand again clenched in my hair. She pulled me to my feet and looked into my face. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and my scalp was burning.

"Please," I said. "You don't have to do this."

"Yes, I'm afraid I do."

"No. Please. It wasn't my fault."

I was twisting feebly, trying to get free, but her grip in my hair was unyielding. She put her other hand at my throat and applied enough pressured to cut off my whimpering.

"Then whose fault was it?" she asked. "Who should I kill instead of you? Your boyfriend? His whole coven?"

"No," I gasped. Her hand was like a claw of ice and it dug into my throat even tighter.

"No? Then who?"

I sniffed and rolled my eyes. I couldn't breathe.

"Tell me," she went on, her voice dangerously soft. "I've been curious. Who exactly was it who killed James? Which Cullen in particular took my mate from me?"

Alice.

It had been Alice who killed him. She ripped his head completely off. With Jasper and Emmett's help, but it had been Alice who—

"Tell me," Victoria hissed, tightening her grip on my throat. "Tell me and I'll kill you quick."

She seemed to be so swept up in her desire to maim me that she didn't realize I couldn't even breathe, much less speak. I choked and gagged, my hands clenching her wrist. It was like a cold bar of iron. She waited for a few seconds and then released me.

I fell at her feet, sucking in huge mouthfuls of air.

"Oh god," I gasped. "Oh god."

"Don't worry, we'll have plenty of time to talk about it," she said. "Where are your keys?"

I looked up at her from the floor, holding my throat. "What?"

"The keys to your truck. Where are they?"

I didn't answer. I was confused and terrified and all I could do was choke down breaths and blink away tears. Victoria didn't wait too long for a reply. She picked me up by my hair and started searching my pockets. She found my keys and threw me in the general direction of the door.

"Come on, let's go," she said. "We're going for a drive."

"Why?"

"I can't kill you here. Let's go."

I didn't move. I just stood there with my lip quivering and my eyes full of tears and both my scalp and my throat burning. Victoria lost her patience and snarled at me.

"I said let's go!"

"Ah—!"

She grabbed my arm painfully and pushed me out the door and down the corridor. I stumbled down the stairs, whimpering. I tripped on the last two and she let go of my arm. She pointed at the front door and I went along obediently. I had no other choice.

As we crossed the lawn, I looked left and right for signs of help. But of course all the yards were empty. There was nothing anybody could do, anyway. Even my own dad, the chief of police, wouldn't have been able to help me. Only the Cullens could possibly help me now and they had left town to protect me. How ironic.

Victoria opened the truck door and told me to get in. I did. She started the engine and pulled away. Headed south. Out of town. I sat there with my hands in my lap and stared down at my fingers. My eyes were wet but I wasn't crying. I don't think I was even that afraid anymore. The whole thing seemed just typical. When Edward came up with his grand plan for my protection, he never figured that Victoria might come back to finish the job James had started. I seemed like a silly target for revenge, but I guess I was only the first step. That's why she was driving me out into the woods so she could interrogate me. She didn't only want me, she wanted the Cullens as well.

I guess Edward had been right. It was dangerous to be a part of their lives. And even more dangerous not to be a part of their lives. If they had stayed, at least they might've been able to protect me. Now I had no chance. I was basically dead right now.

A snort came out of me at how stupid and ridiculous it all was. Victoria glanced at me as she drove.

"Something funny?" she asked.

"I was just thinking," I said. "Edward left town so he could protect me. And now…"

I was still staring down at my hands and suddenly I could feel it sweeping over me—the hurt, the helplessness, the sheer injustice of everything that was happening. I tried to hold it back, but I couldn't.

I burst into tears.

Victoria glanced at me again, unamused. I lifted my hands and sobbed into them. How could this be happening? I shook my head and wailed into my hands. Dimly I heard my abductor snort.

"I had hoped that killing you would show him the agony of losing the one you love," she said. "But I guess I'll have to settle for your own agony instead."

I tried mightily to stop crying. I hiccupped a couple times and wiped my eyes. Victoria looked at me in disgust.

"Then again," she said. "What would a miserable little girl like you know about love?"

I sniffed and turned to look at the trees out the window.

She was right.

I knew nothing about love.

We drove for another half hour, in silence, until she pulled over by the side of the road and ordered me into the forest. I felt like a captured soldier in a war movie, marched into the woods for an impromptu execution. It wasn't cold, but I was shivering. Probably the terror. I kept tripping and stumbling over roots and Victoria would make little sounds of exasperation behind me.

Finally we came to a clearing. Victoria must've scouted it ahead of time. I had my arms crossed tightly, almost as if I was hugging myself goodbye, and I turned to face Victoria. Sunlight sparkled over her face and I felt a strange tightness in my stomach. It seemed wrong that my murderer was so beautiful. I glared at her and my voice came out in a mutter.

"What now?" I asked.

"Now you are going to tell me exactly what happened at that ballet studio," she said. "I want every detail. Beginning with who killed James."

"I'm not going to tell you anything."

"No?"

"No."

Victoria looked at me dryly. Half a smile lingered over her mouth. "Are you really this stupid?" she asked. "Are you really going to make me torture you?"

I didn't answer. My glare didn't falter. She took this as a challenge and her smirk grew as she began to circle me slowly.

"Who killed James?" she asked. "Was it your boyfriend?"

She continued around behind me. I didn't move.

"Was it the doctor? Was it his wife?"

She came back around to my front. Her crimson eyes pierced into mine.

"Was it Alice?"

Coldness swept over me.

How did…?

She might've saw the answer in my face because her expression went even colder. "Yes," she said. "James told me about her. He was the one who turned her. One of the few that ever got away from him. Was it her?"

I didn't answer. My eyes were beginning to fill again with tears and fear. She watched me for a moment, her dark red eyes boring into mine. She narrowed them.

"Or was it all of them?" she asked. "I can't imagine James went down easily."

"James was a fucking psycho who got what he deserved," I blurted.

She froze.

Absolutely still.

For a second, I thought I was already dead. I thought the look in her eyes had killed me. But I wasn't dead and the fear did nothing but embolden me further.

"And you will too," I went on. "You think they won't care if you kill me? Edward will care. As soon as he finds out, he's going to come back here and he'll kill you. And Alice will as well. Alice can see the future. She'll know what you've done, and she'll…"

Victoria snorted. "She can see the future, can she?"

"Yes," I said, trying to be brave. "She can."

"Then why isn't she here?"

The question took me off-guard. Why wasn't…?

Victoria raised her eyebrows inquiringly. "Hm? I mean, if this girl cares about you so much and she can see the future…then why did she not come to protect you?"

Again, I was off guard. I couldn't quite seem to process it. But she was right. How come Alice wasn't here? If she had had seen me in trouble, in life-threatening trouble, she would've—

Victoria's hand shot out and seized my hair.

"Could she not see what is about to happen?" she hissed into my face. "Could she not see what I'm about to do to you? Could she not see your blood all over the forest floor? Hm?"

My chin quivered. My eyes blinked.

Victoria let go and stumbled back a few steps.

"Or maybe she did see it and they just don't care," she said.

I shook my head while tears streamed out of my eyes.

"No," I said. "No, she… She wouldn't…"

I sank to my knees in the grass and started crying into my hands.

Victoria's voice came to me cold and full of distain. "Regardless, you are mine now. Luckily for you, however, my rage has been dulled somewhat by your obvious patheticness, so I'll be merciful. Tell me who killed James and you won't suffer."

I didn't answer.

Victoria grabbed my hair and forced me to look at her.

"Tell me now," she demanded. "Tell me now, or…"

She trailed off.

Her face went distant.

I didn't know why, but then I could hear it too. A low growling. Like an angry dog nearby. Victoria's hand loosened. She stepped back, her eyes sweeping the far treeline. I rose and sniffled, looking at the tree as well. The growling got louder and then there was a bark and another bark and suddenly three large wolves leaped into the clearing from the trees.

The one in the middle had shaggy rusty-brown fur and I realized at once who it was.

"Jake!" I cried.

Suddenly a cold arm seized me around my middle. Victoria pulled me against her front and grabbed my chin to wrench my neck.

"Make one move and I'll snap her neck," she hissed at the wolves.

The wolves crouched there, growling, drooling, dark eyes burning with the desire to rip this vampire to shreds. They didn't seem all that rational and they didn't even seem to hear Victoria's threat. They crept forward, Jake first. The growls became louder. They popped their teeth.

Victoria scoffed in disgust and spoke into my ear. "It seems they don't care about you either," she said. "But don't worry, I've waited far too long to simply kill you like this. I'll have to take a raincheck."

Then she threw me down into the grass and disappeared in a blur.

The wolves bolted after her.

I groaned and sat up. I was alone in the clearing. The leaves were still floating down from where they had been sucked up in a vacuum of speed. I didn't bother standing. I just focused on trying to calm down. Thank god the wolves had arrived. They had almost gotten me killed, but I would've died anyway if they didn't show up at all. I guess they must've been out patrolling the woods when they caught the scent of a vampire on their turf. I wondered if they were going to catch her, but somehow it didn't seem all that important. I was too depressed to care.

Was it true what Victoria had said? Had Alice seen me in trouble and decided not to help? No. She would never do that. Even if she didn't care about me as much as I thought she did, she would never just leave me to die a violent death at the hands of a psychotic vampire.

But that's exactly what happened.

Alice didn't come.

And neither did Edward, nor any of the Cullens. They had truly abandoned me. I wonder if Alice had even told them. Or if maybe she had the vision of me being attack and then just shrugged. My stomach twisted in pain at the idea, but I couldn't believe that. I couldn't believe she would just leave me to die. There had to be some other explanation. But what? Alice could see everything. She always did. Why couldn't she see this?

Leaves rustled.

I looked up.

Jake had come back into the clearing, shifted into human form and wearing nothing but a pair of shorts. He had explained to me back when I first found out about him that the pack kept little stashes of clothes all through the forest, just in case they had to shift. Their clothes didn't shift with them.

I was still sitting in the grass and now I stood up. Jake was looking at me in concern but there was a furrow of frustration to his brow about Victoria as well.

"She got away," he said. "You okay, Bella?"

I nodded despondently.

But I wasn't really.

—


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Sorry again about the canon lol, but like some of the reviewers said, I'm not gonna let it tie me down too much. After all, if I stuck purely to canon, Bella would strictly be into Edward. As for the wolves, I took a few short cuts in introducing them, but I didn't want to waste too much time explaining what we already know. I'm more interested in focusing on Bella, Victoria, and Alice. :)**

—

Chapter 3:

—

Jake walked me all the way back to my truck with me tucked under his arm like a disaster victim—which was a little awkward, considering he was half naked and wearing nothing but shorts. Still, I was legit kind of traumatized—I had really thought I was going to die—so I didn't put up any fuss. Jake, like all the Quileute shifters, had a very high body temperature, and it was actually a little soothing to be so close to him, like the glow of a warm fire.

When we reach my truck, he finally let me out from under his wing. He even opened the door for me, but I didn't get in right away. I wasn't in any hurry to be alone.

"You sure you're alright?" Jake asked, his face knitted in concern.

"Yeah," I said, nodding. "I will be."

I tried to smile to show how brave I was, but he didn't seem all that convinced. He gave me a smile of his own and then he wrapped me into a hug.

"Come here," he said. "Let me give you a hug."

Well. That was kind of nice of him.

He smelt a bit like grass and dog, but I didn't resist. He held me a few moments, rocking me gently in the warm corona of his unnaturally high body temperature, until I actually felt a little better. I sighed.

"Thanks for saving my life, Jake," I said, realizing I hadn't even said it yet.

He released me and smiled again. "Don't mention it," he said. "I just wish we caught her."

"Yeah."

"Don't worry, though. I'll talk to Sam, get some extra patrols going."

I nodded and looked off into the woods anxiously. "I'm just worried about my dad," I said. "She was in my house. What if he had come home?"

"Don't worry about it, Bells. Now that we got her scent, she's never gonna get near you or your dad again." He put a hand on my shoulder to draw my attention back to him. He looked at me with his warm brown eyes and smiled. "I'm gonna protect you, okay?"

I felt a flash of awkwardness. I mean, it was nice he wanted to protect me, but from the look on his face, I had to assume his motivations were somewhat deeper than common chivalry. So I chuckled once and carefully shrugged my shoulder back.

"Okay," I said. "Thanks, Jake."

He nodded, still smiling. Luckily, he hadn't seemed to notice that this damsel wasn't really interested in throwing herself at him in gratitude. I mean, it's not that I wasn't thankful, it's just…

But I shook that thought away and remembered I was free to go. Unlike two minutes ago, I was now quite eager to be alone.

"Well," I said. "I better get home, so…"

I went to get into the truck but he called me back.

"Hey, uh…"

I turned to him. "Yeah?"

He blushed a little and shuffled his feet coyly. His feet were bare and so was his whole torso but that didn't seem to be what was embarrassing him. "I was just wondering. Are you busy this weekend?"

"Why?"

"Well, this probably isn't the best timing, but…I was wondering if you wanted to go out or something."

"What, like…a date?"

"Well, I did save your life."

"Can't I just kiss you on the cheek and we'll forget about it?"

"Come on, Bells," he said with a boyish grin, shy and confident at the same time. "After hanging out all summer, I…I like you."

Gulp.

Yikes.

I chuckled to stall for time, but suddenly I was really awkward. I knew Jake had always kind of liked me, but I thought we were happy to be just friends? Besides, if we're being honest, he didn't really save my life. Victoria had let me go. In fact, Jake and the other wolves had almost gotten me killed early.

"I know," I said, "I just…"

His grin began to fade a little. "What? Edward?"

I shook my head, avoiding his eyes. No. It wasn't Edward.

"He's gone, Bells," Jake went on. "He abandoned you. That asshole doesn't deserve you still thinking about him."

I smiled slightly. There was a fierce concern on Jake's face, but that didn't change how I felt. My eyes dipped to his naked chest and that didn't influence me either. His muscles were impressive—so was his tan—but it wasn't like that night of junior prom when Alice and I were getting changed together and I glanced over and she was wearing a black bra that—

"Come on," Jake continued, again wheedling me with that boyish grin. "Just give me one chance, okay? What do you got to lose?"

I wanted to say no, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Besides, he really did like me. Maybe if I gave him a chance, I would like him too. Maybe he was exactly what I needed to get over whatever it was I was going through. So I smiled and shook my head and rolled my eyes with a blush.

"Okay, fine," I said, turning to get into the truck. "I'll call you tomorrow or something."

His grin went even wider. "Awesome."

"Yeah, yeah. Come here for a second."

"What?"

He leaned into the truck and I gave him a peck on the cheek.

"Thanks again for saving my life," I said. "Don't forget to keep an eye on my dad, okay?"

He nodded and backed away. That one little kiss seemed to really have affected him. He appeared to be trying not to giggle. I smiled at him and pulled the door shut.

It was almost sunset by the time I got home. Luckily, dad was working late tonight. I would need a little time alone to get myself together after what happened today. I just hoped the wolves were as good as Jake said they were. Because Victoria had seemed pretty damn determined. She said she had been watching me, waiting for exactly the right moment. What a psycho. Hopefully the wolves would be enough to scare her away from Forks, but then what? What would she do then? Go after the Cullens? The thought made my stomach twist. I knew the Cullens could take care of themselves, but Victoria was dangerous. What if she targeted them one by one?

And the worst thing was that I had no way to warn them. No phone number, no email. Not even a goddamn postal address. I guess that was all Edward's idea. A clean break. No goodbyes. Well, great decision, Edward. Smart move there, buddy. Just disappear into thin air and leave me to deal with the psychotic redhead who wants to torture me and kill me before she comes and kills you guys too. Yep, a clean break is just the thing we all need. It would've been nice to text a little warning to you guys up at the North Pole or wherever you went, but nah, a clean break is better. Edward knows best. Who cares what little Bella wants.

My mood had turned pretty shitty by the time I pulled up outside the house. I probably only had an hour before dad got home, so I hurried upstairs to straighten up my room. I had knocked the computer monitor off the table when Victoria was throwing me around like a ragdoll, but luckily it was undamaged. It was a thin LCD thing and it hadn't even turned off. It was dangling by the side of the desk on the cable and I picked it up and set it on the desk, examining it for scratches. It seemed okay. The rest of my room seemed fine as well, but I didn't have the heart to go poking around, so I just sighed and sank down into my desk chair. My eyes turned to the monitor and lingered there. The computer was running Windows 7 and the wallpaper on the desktop was a digital photo from prom.

Me and Alice.

I looked at it, looked at Alice. Her pale skin, her gorgeous yellow eyes. She was in black, black satin, and I was in blue. Her arm was around me. Just two friends at prom. Besties. BFFs. We were both smiling, but her smile was bigger than mine, bigger, brighter, more natural. My own smile looked like I hadn't gotten much practice at the expression. But hers…pure prettiness.

I stared at her, feeling my eyes beginning to tear up. Fuck, I missed her. Before the Cullens left, the wallpaper had been me and Edward. But after a while I changed it. Because I liked looking at Alice more. Even though her radiant smile and supernatural cuteness filled me with nothing but sadness and emptiness and a sense of vast and endless suppression, it was Alice that…

I sniffed and looked away. God fucking dammit, Alice. What did you do to me?

For a long time I had tried to deny it, but these days I didn't seem to care much anymore. She was gone and she was never coming back, so what was the point of denying it? Especially now. Especially today. I had almost died and I had never even admitted it to myself. That seemed pretty tragic, so I decided to just be honest with myself. Stop fighting it. Because they were my feelings and my feelings were important. They were the only thing that kept me connected to her. So I took a deep breath and let it out shakily. I looked again at the wallpaper. At Alice. My heart was throbbing and my eyes were again beginning to fill with tears. I blinked and wiped them with my fingers and then I sniffed and smiled sadly at the picture and said very clearly in my head:

_I love you, Alice._

There. I admitted it. Of course, it was mostly just a formality. I had been aware of it for a while now. Even before the Cullen's left I had been somewhat suspicious of it. There had always been something about Alice. Something about how she made me feel. Her hugs, her smiles. Her laugh. Even though we were just friends, it had always felt like more. I hadn't realized it until she was gone, but thinking back, I had always felt weird around her. At first it was a pleasant kind of discomfort at how affectionate she was for a total stranger, but over time the feelings became more and more comfortable until…until I just liked her.

I did. I liked her. I fucking loved her. She was a girl and I didn't care. My fucking heart throbbed for her. I missed her more than I thought it was possible to miss a person. Even though she was married and could never feel the same way, I didn't care. It didn't even matter. Because I loved her. I just fucking loved her.

I sniffed and wiped my nose with a Kleenex. God, I'm a mess. I guess it's true what they say. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, true in my case. Obviously not in hers. By now she had probably forgotten I even existed. At the very least she had never had any visions of me in danger today. Or if she did, she didn't care. You'd think that would affect my feelings in some way, but it didn't. It hurt and made me angry, but it didn't change anything. It didn't change how pretty she was. And how much I longed for a hug. And how much I just really wanted to see her again.

I plucked a new Kleenex from the box on the desk and wiped my eyes, wondering why I never realized it until she was gone. Probably Edward. He had been pretty overbearing. Being with Edward didn't allow much room in your heart and mind for anything else. Then he was gone and slowly my feelings for him began to fade. I began to realize that maybe I never liked him all that much to begin with. I was just carried away by how much he liked me. Flattered, even. So many girls at school would kill to have what I had with him. Then he saved my life a bunch of times and revealed his insane attraction to my scent. I guess my feelings for him were like a mirror, reflecting back his own feelings for me. In a way, I did really love him. It just wasn't as substantial as he made me believe.

Not like this.

Not like Alice.

I sighed and gazed at the photo of her on my desktop. Now that my true feelings were beginning to settle, a smile even came over my mouth. I looked at her face, her paleness. My eyes lowered to her neck, her collarbone. Her dress. The black satin clung to each of her curves and at her waist I could see my hand there. The two of us, arm in arm. At prom. She had said it would be one of the best nights of my life, and she had been right. But not in the way she thought. Because it wasn't the dance with Edward that I remembered most, it was getting ready with Alice beforehand. The two of us back at her place, her doing my makeup and me steadily going awash in how beautiful she was. It had been the first time I consciously became aware that—

The front door opened downstairs.

I sat up, my heart racing. At first I was terrified it might be Victoria coming back to kill me, but then I snuck downstairs and saw it was just dad coming home from work.

—

Jake and I went on our date on the weekend. Shopping in Port Angeles. He had called me a couple days before—I had completely forgotten to call him—and this was his idea. It suited me. I needed to get a few things.

Mostly we were just hanging out. We saw a movie together, something romantic that did nothing but remind me of Alice during the sappy scenes, and afterwards we got something to eat before he took me to some clothes stores—which likewise reminded me of shopping trips with Alice. I didn't think I was a very great date—kind of distant and depressed—but he seemed to be having fun. I just hoped the whole thing would segway into us being just friends. I couldn't even remember why I had agreed to go out with him. Oh yeah, it was because he had saved my life. Funny how chivalry goes both ways.

I sighed as I examined a pair of jeans as Jake looked on. They were a bit small—perfect for Alice. I sighed again and put them back.

"So," I said. "No sign of Victoria?"

He shook his head as we wandered further into the store. It was a very busy section of the mall and there were lots of people. "Nah. Looks like she just vanished. No trace at all."

I nodded, hoping she was gone for good. "Edward said that's her special power. Survival."

"Survival, huh? Well, she ain't surviving if she ever comes back. I guarantee it."

"Maybe, but you should be careful, Jake. She's dangerous."

He snorted, looking as much as he could like a hardass. I smiled at him and stopped to look at some tops.

"I'm serious, Jake," I said. "I don't want you getting hurt because of me."

"Don't worry about me, Bells. The Quileutes have a spiritual responsibility to protect the people of Forks. I'm honour bound and shit."

I shook my head, smiling. Sometimes it was hard to believe that Jake was younger than me. Not only was he taller and bigger, but he was also a shapeshifting spirit warrior determined to destroy vampires and protect the innocent—me in particular, it seemed.

"Seriously, though," he went on, grinning. "I'd never let anyone hurt you."

I gave him a smile and over his shoulder I noticed something that made my heart falter.

A woman with red hair.

Stifling the panic, I pretended nothing was wrong while trying to get a better look. After all, there were lots of women in the world with red hair. Not all of them were revenge crazed vampires bent on ripping me to pieces. Sifting through the tops, I looked over at where I saw that flicker of red, but there was nobody there anymore. Whoever it was had disappeared.

"You okay?" Jake asked.

"Yeah," I said, taking a random top from the rack. "What do you think of this one?"

He looked at it and nodded eagerly. He thought everything looked good on me.

We were out shopping for a long time. After we canvassed the clothes stores, we moved on to bookstores. I liked books. Jake, not so much. But he indulged me and he even listened as I talked about my favourites, mostly the classics, things like Pride and Prejudice or Wuthering Heights. I had most of them on eBook, but Jake bought me a copy of Jane Austin's collected works which they had pretty cheap. Very sweet of him. But in all honesty, I had already decided that this date wasn't even gonna reach the kiss goodnight stage.

It wasn't Jake's fault, though. He was great, and we had a fun time together. I didn't know why I wasn't responding to him. I mean, it's not like I had any other immediate options. Despite my feelings for Alice, I had fully accepted that she was long gone. Maybe I just needed more time to forget about her. I didn't think I would, but I guess it was inevitable. No feelings last forever.

Pretty soon the sun was going down and me and Jake were talking about dinner. We hadn't planned on being out so long, but my how time flies when you're pretending to have fun. Eventually we both called home for permission to stay out even longer and we found a restaurant. It was actually the very same restaurant where Edward had taken me, back before we were even going out. I didn't mention it to Jake, I just smiled at the nostalgia and ordered a mushroom ravioli. Jake ordered some kind of steak. It looked pretty good. We ate and after we were finished I finally decided to mention it.

"I've been here before, you know," I said.

"You have?"

"Yeah. Me and a couple friends were here in Port Angeles shopping for prom dresses. Then after they left, I was walking by myself, when out of nowhere a bunch of guys started following me."

Jake frowned and sat up slightly. As if he wanted to find these guys and beat them up right now. "Followed you?"

I chuckled once at the memory. "Yeah. I was actually getting really scared, but then Edward showed up. This was before we started dating. He had followed me from Forks."

"Creepy leech."

I chuckled again. "Yeah. But if he hadn't been there, who knows what might've happened. And afterwards he took me here. This exact same restaurant."

"You should've said something, we could've gone somewhere else."

"Why? It's just a restaurant."

He nodded, but he still didn't seem to be happy about it. As if the place were tainted somehow. I knew how he felt, but it was still a nice restaurant. Candles, small tables. Flowers.

"He saved my life at school, too," I said. "When Tyler almost backed his van over me."

"Yeah, he sounds like a terrific guy," Jake said, trying not to frown too much.

I chuckled at myself, finally realizing that I was talking about my old boyfriend while on a date with a guy who really liked me. Oh well, no one ever accused me of being romantically savvy. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm a pretty shitty date, huh?"

He softened and shrugged it off. "Nah, it's just…it bothers me that you loved him so much. He was no good for you, Bella. You talk about him saving your life, but how many times did he endanger it as well?"

I shrugged non-committally. He had kind of misunderstood my nostalgia, but I didn't really mind. To be honest, I didn't even know why I was talking about Edward. Maybe there were some feelings left there after all.

Jake sighed. "Either way, I guess you're still not really ready to start dating, huh?"

"I don't know," I said. "Probably not."

He sighed again and looked down at the tablecloth. I felt bad for him. He had really put a lot of time and effort into today.

"Don't worry," I said. "I'll pay for my half of dinner."

He chuckled. "I just want you to be happy, Bella. I really like you."

"I like you too, Jake. Just not…like _that_."

A weird fluttery feeling came up in my stomach, the same as it always did when I approached the truth. I watched Jake's expression, wondering if he had any clue what I really meant, but he didn't.

"Is it because of Edward?" he asked.

"No. It's not Edward."

"Then why? How come you can't even give me a chance?"

Before I could answer, a waitress came to take away our plates. She was blonde and she had her long hair in a ponytail. Black uniform, simple, classy. Early twenties. Her makeup was kind of heavy, like icing on a cake, but she really was very cute. I watched her discreetly as she gathered the plates onto her tray, the fluttery feeling in my stomach intensifying. I guess this was the real reason I was unable to move on with someone like Jake.

Because boys didn't make me feel this way anymore.

The waitress rose up with her tray and flashed us both a smile.

"So, can I get you guys any dessert?" she offered.

Jake looked at me. I shrugged.

"You paying half?" he asked.

I chuckled once. "Sure."

Jake grinned and turned to the waitress.

Dessert was nice, chocolate of course, and afterwards we decided it was probably best to go home. After all, it was getting pretty late and I had already made it clear that a hotel room was out of the question. We drove back to Forks in Jake's truck, chatting and making small talk. I kept remembering that flicker of red hair I had seen at the mall. Jake said Victoria was long gone, but I had to wonder. She seemed very passionate about getting her revenge. I almost admired her. It must be nice to be able to channel all that rage and heartbreak into a murderous rampage. Very therapeutic.

It was about eleven o'clock when we pulled up outside my house. Awkward. I turned to him, lingering there for a moment, neither of us quite knowing how to say goodnight. Crickets were chirping outside and after a while he chuckled.

"So, uh…guess I can't kiss you goodnight, huh?"

I shook my head solemnly. He grinned.

"Oh well," he said. "Maybe next time."

But he looked so cute and sweet sitting there that I leaned over the gearshift and gave him a kiss anyway, a small peck on the corner of his mouth. It didn't make my heart sing or anything, but it did give me a nice sense of doing a good deed.

"Night, Jake," I said.

He gave me a nod and tried not to blush. I opened the door and got out. I was about to close it again when he said:

"So can I call you? Just to hang out sometime?"

My heart sank a little: the kiss probably gave him the wrong idea, as if he actually had a chance. But I smiled and nodded, not wanting to deal with it now.

"Sure," I said.

Then I pushed the door closed and started across the lawn to the front door. I heard the engine start behind me but I noticed it wasn't until I was inside when he actually drove away.

—

The next day was Sunday. I was out in the backyard, basking in the scant sunlight and reading the book my new beau had bought me yesterday, when my phone rang. It was Jake. Damn. I know I said he could call me, but so soon? Kind of desperate. I contemplated ignoring it, but I didn't want to be a bitch, so I quickly answered it.

"Hey, Jake," I said. "Listen, I'm kind of busy right now, so—"

"Shut up," said a woman's voice.

I froze with the phone at my ear. I thought I recognized the voice, but I couldn't be sure.

"Who is this?" I whispered.

_Please don't be who I think it is, please don't—_

"You know who this is," said Victoria. "I have your friend, Jacob. He was kind enough to let me borrow his phone. I was watching you on your date yesterday. It's so nice you're able to move on from Edward so easily. My own heart is a little more stubborn. I'm not going to forget what happened to James so easily."

The phone trembled in my hand. My voice came out just as quavery.

"What did you do to Jake?"

"Oh, nothing. He's right here. Would you like to speak to him? Here you go, talk to him."

Suddenly the phone was filled with loud gasps of pain and desperation. I recognized the voice that spoke right away as Jake's.

"Bella," he wheezed. "Bella, don't do it. Bella, don't—"

He was cut off in a grunt and a loud thudding noise. I gasped in fright and covered my mouth. What was happening to him? What did she do?

"Quiet, mongrel," Victoria said.

"Victoria, please," I babbled into the phone. "Leave him alone. Please. What do you want?"

"I want _you_," she hissed. "And if I don't have you here within the hour, the next time you meet your boyfriend for a date you'll have to dig him up first."

—

**AN: First official cliffhanger. ;P**


	4. Chapter 4

—

Chapter 4:

—

Ten minutes later I was out of the house and in my truck, speeding through town and wiping my eyes with one hand while steering with the other. Victoria said she was holding Jake at the Cullen's old house—of all places—and she told me to be there within sixty minutes or she was going to kill him. Not knowing what else to do, I had jumped into my truck and hit the gas.

But what happens when I got there?

She was going to kill me, that's what. And probably kill Jake, too. But what choice did I have? None. God, this was so fucked up. I shook my head as I wove through the sparse Sunday morning traffic. Could I really just drive to my death like this? Even if it was to save Jake, it didn't feel much like nobility. More like stupidity. God, Alice, if you're out there and having a vision of what's about to happen, now's the time I need you. Now more than ever.

I seriously can't fucking believe they left. Didn't they understand that it was too late? That once I became part of their lives there was always going to be some vampire danger around the corner? And it's not like I could count on the wolves, either. If Victoria had somehow captured Jake, then I had to assume she had him alone and isolated where they wouldn't be disturbed. And it's not like I could call my dad. Even though he was chief of police, there's not much he could do against a bulletproof vampire with powers roughly on par with Superman minus the weakness to kryptonite. The only thing vampires were weak to was fire.

Fire.

The thought came to me in a tiny flutter of hope. Yeah, fire. If I could set the bitch on fire somehow, then maybe I'd have a chance. But then I shook my head and snorted under my breath. I mean, Jesus. You know you're in trouble when your only hope is yourself and neither your old vampire pals or the local wolf pack or even your cop father can help you. I mean, seriously? Me? Am I really considering counting on nobody but myself this time?

Outside the window I noticed I was driving past a hardware store and I immediately swung into the parking lot. No matter how stupid it was, I had to try something. I just hoped I had enough time. The inside of the store was cool and smelled of rubber and wood chips. I wiped my eyes again and went down some random aisle, desperately scanning the wares for anything I could use. Hammers, saws, lawnmowers. None of them would even scratch a vampire. They had toilet plungers, but unless Victoria was experiencing some kind of blockage, I didn't think that was going to help either.

"Hi, can I help you?" asked a cheerful clerk with a bushy brown beard who'd snuck up on me.

"Um, yeah," I said. "I'm looking for something that shoots fire."

"Shoots fire?"

"Yeah, kind of like, um…"

I gestured with my hands. I didn't even know what I was doing. Luckily, he seemed to know exactly what I was talking about.

"A blowtorch?" he suggested helpfully.

I was hoping for something more like a flamethrower or a napalm strike, but yeah, a blowtorch seemed like my best bet under the circumstances. "Exactly," I said. "Do you have any?"

"Sure, what kind did you need?"

"The kind with the most fire."

The man was very helpful, almost too helpful, and I had to cut him off as he showed me the torches and gave me a quick tutorial on how they operate. They had ones with tanks and hoses, but I selected a smaller handheld one that I'd be able to conceal. It had a round chrome-colored cylinder, like a can of hairspray, and a small red button that shot out a jet of blue flame. The flame was only a few inches long, but it was loud and fierce, and it burnt at temperatures hot enough to weld with according to the clerk. He asked me what I needed it for as I fumbled with my purse and I told him it was for my dad. He didn't seem to believe me but he probably couldn't have guessed the real reason I needed it was to try and fend off a murderous redheaded vampire.

I paid as quickly as I could, leaving the change, and hurried back out to my truck. I'd been in the store for less than ten minutes. I just hoped I'd make it to Jake on time before she did anything to him. God, what a role reversal. I preferred being the damsel in distress, to be honest. This knight in shining armor stuff was a lot of pressure. And who am I kidding, it's basically certain death anyway. An itty bitty blowtorch wasn't gonna skew the odds very much in my favour, if at all. Victoria still had blinding speed and supernatural reflexes to content with. My name's Bella, not Buffy. I'm no vampire hunter. Still, the torch was all I had, and it was better than nothing. At least this way it would be more like going down fighting rather than blatant suicide. Big improvement. I hit the gas and peeled out into the street.

Soon I was out of town and on the road that led to the Cullen's old house. I had driven this way before, plenty of times. To meet Edward after school. To hang out and listen to him play piano. Always secretly hoping Alice would be there too. To greet me with a smile and a hug and maybe a kiss on the cheek. My eyes had been dry for a while, but now they teared up again as my thoughts drifted. Recalling her verve and chirpiness. She had always been so happy to see me. So nice. So friendly. But why? Was she like that with everyone? Or was it just me? Sometimes I wondered if maybe she had liked me a little bit as well. Looking back, there were so many signals. Like how she loved to dress me up. Or how she liked to hug me with her whole body, not just an arm or a shoulder. The way she looked at me sometimes. I could've sworn there was something in her eyes. But maybe that was all in my head. After all, she was married. And not just married, but mated. To vampires, being mated was like…

But my thoughts faded away as I came around a bend and saw the former residence of the Cullen's up ahead. It was basically a mansion, two stories of glass and steel cited on a rise above the road. There was a For Sale sign out front, but obviously no one had bought it or moved in yet. I guess it was smart thinking by Victoria. This was deep in Cullen territory, probably the least patrolled area of the woods by the wolves. The only danger here was the Cullen's. But the Cullen's were long gone. Now the danger was Victoria.

I pulled up in the driveway, my heart sinking into my socks. So this was it. I'm dead. I grabbed the blowtorch out the shopping bag, shaking my head at what a pathetic plan it was, and said one final silent prayer to Alice:

_Please, Alice, if you're seeing this…come save me._

But even as I said it, I knew it was bullshit. If they didn't come last time, they weren't coming this time. Either she had forgotten about me or she didn't care. Either way, I was on my own, so I got out of the truck and quickly jammed the blowtorch into the waistband of my jeans behind my back, making sure it was under my jacket. Like a pistol in a gangster movie. There was no sign of Victoria outside. Just wind and pale sunlight. They must be inside. Glancing left and right, I approached the front door. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to get in, but then I saw the lock was busted. Well, I guess we can add vandalism along with breaking and entering to Victoria's rap sheet. She could get in serious trouble for that, if she wasn't already guilty of kidnapping and attempted murder.

The inside of the house was completely bare. No furniture. No sofa. There were no lights on and the cream-colored carpets were a pale gray in the dimness.

"Jake…?" I called out tentatively.

There was no answer. For all I knew, the house was empty. Could Victoria be lying? Was she really here? Maybe she was just…

But then I found her.

I had wandered into the kitchen and now I came to a complete stop. Victoria was sitting on the counter, legs crossed, waiting. She seemed a bit more tattered than the last time I saw her, as if she hadn't showered or changed clothes. Her jeans had dirt and grass stains and there was a rip in her top that exposed a brastrap, as if she had only narrowly escaped some tussle. The kitchen faced east and sunlight was spilling onto her face, causing it to twinkle and sparkle. Once again it struck me how beautiful she was. Beautiful and fierce, like a deadly exotic animal. Her eyes were dark red, darker than last time, and I felt a jolt of fear as they locked onto mine.

Dark meant hungry.

There was a groan from her feet and finally I noticed Jake. He was in human form, fully clothed, and he was lying in a crumpled heap at the base of the counter. His hair was wet with blood and there was blood on the kitchen tiles. Ordinarily that blood would send a vampire into a frenzy, but wolf blood was disgusting to them.

"Jake!"

I started forward and then I stopped abruptly. Victoria hadn't moved, but I didn't want to provoke her. She smiled at how I had halted and now she hopped off of the counter in one smooth motion, landing gracefully on her feet. I glared at her, already itching for the blowtorch behind my back.

"What have you done to him?" I demanded.

"I took him while he was vulnerable," she said. "When he was alone. It was difficult to sneak onto the reservation, but those dogs aren't as clever as they think they are."

Jake groaned again, one eye opening a crack. When he saw me, he seemed to get a small surge of energy, but then Victoria booted him viciously in the midsection.

"No!" I cried.

The kick carried him off the floor, but not by much. Even with Victoria's vampire strength, it was like kicking a sand-filled soccer ball. Jake thudded into the counter block and thudded again onto the floor, clutching his stomach and curling up in agony. I realized the sickening crack I'd heard had been his ribs breaking.

Victoria snorted at him and turned back to me. Her back had been turned for only a second, but I realized that I had just missed my first window to use the blowtorch. After all, there was no way I could reach for a weapon in full view of her. My only hope was when she wasn't looking.

"So," she said, smiling at me in a cocky way. "You came."

Yeah, I did. God, I'm an idiot. But instead of acting scared, I kept my face in a defiant frown. "You said you would let him go."

"Oh, I will. Assuming you do the right thing and cooperate."

"What do you want from me?"

"The same thing I wanted last time. I want to know how James died. I want to know who killed him."

"I don't know. I never saw it."

"Liar. You know."

The softness of her voice made my heart flutter in fear. Her eyes were narrowed slightly and the darkness of them and the redness and the hunger that burned there was the most terrifying thing I had ever seen. Because I knew, any minute now, she was going to rip me open and feed on my corpse.

Some of the fear must've shown on my face because she softened and heaved an airy sigh.

"Are we really going to repeat the same charade as last time?" she asked. "There's no need for theatrics. I think you understand your position well enough. Don't you?"

My eyes were welling. When I blinked, two tears fell.

She smiled. "Yes," she said. "Just tell me what I want to know. Tell me and I'll let your friend live. I won't say you can save yourself, because you can't."

My lip quivered. I was trying not to cry.

"Please," I whimpered.

"No, no, no," she said. "No tears. Time to be a big girl."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. Tell me who killed James."

"I can't."

She smiled and tilted her head dangerously. "Yes," she said. "You can. And you should. It's the best thing. Not only for you, but for your friend here too. And even for your old Cullen friends as well. After all, if you don't tell me, I'm going to hunt them down one by one and kill them all. If you care about them so much, you should tell me who was personally responsible. I have no interest in anyone who wasn't involved."

I was shaking my head, my cheeks wet with tears. Jake was struggling feebly in the floor, mostly just trying to breathe. I looked at him and I looked at Victoria. Her speech had made a lot of sense. The smart thing would be to just tell her and accept my fate. At least that way Jake would survive and most of the Cullen's too. But it wouldn't save me.

And it wouldn't save Alice.

Because it was Alice who had gotten the killing blow. I remembered it vividly, the way she jumped at James and wrapped her legs around him like a lover as she wrenched his head off. Such a little fucking badass. Jasper and Emmett had help burn the body, but it was Alice who killed him. Alice who saved me. Alice who avenged my suffering. James had deserved to die. And Alice had deserved to kill him. Not only for me, but for herself as well. Alice had been one of James's original victims. He deserved to burn.

"Tell me," Victoria said. "Tell me who killed him."

My face hardened. I sniffed with my leaky nose and looked directly into her dark red eyes and said:

"No."

She started at me. She seemed surprised. Then her nose flared in disgust and she snorted.

"You're very loyal," she said. "But isn't that loyalty just a little bit misplaced? These friends that you're trying to protect, they abandoned you. And because they abandoned you, you are now about to die. They left you at my mercy. What kind of friends would do that? Do you really owe them anything after this?"

I was shaking my head. "I don't care about that."

"Why then?"

"I don't know. I just can't do it. Even if they abandoned me, doesn't mean I can betray them. It's not who I am. It's not even a decision."

I trailed off, looking down at the ground. Jake's blood was on the tiles, bright red in the shafts of morning sunlight from the windows. He had his forehead pressed into the tiles and his eyes squeezed shut, his breath rasping in pain. I wondered if he realized that I had basically just killed him. Would he understand why? Would he forgive me? Would—

Victoria scoffed. She was getting angry now. Yet instead of attacking me, she said:

"What if I offered to spare your own life as well?"

The offer surprised me a little, but I only shook my head sadly. "I wouldn't believe you."

Victoria scowled. She looked like she was about to snap, but then Jake groaned loudly from the floor. Her attention swung to him. He opened his eyes and seethed up at her with blood frothing from his nose.

"Leave her alone," he muttered. "You fucking leech."

Victoria stared at him, struck dumb by his boldness. She was facing away from me and I remembered the blowtorch.

The blowtorch.

Maybe this was my chance. Maybe—

Suddenly Victoria snarled and booted Jake in the chin. His mouth clapped shut with a wet chopping sound and she screamed at him:

"Shut up! You disgusting dog! You pitiful little…!"

Another kick. This time into the midsection. Jake groaned and folded up, coughing blood. Victoria kicked him again. And again.

I had frozen in fear for a moment, but now I was reaching behind my back for the blowtorch. This was my last chance. My one shot. I had no idea how much damage the blowtorch could do to her, but it was the only hope I had. And the only hope Jake had as well. If he survived, his wolf powers would help him heal from the beating he was taking, but if I didn't do something right now, he was going to die. We both were. This was our only—

The blowtorch fumbled out of my hands and clattered on the tiles.

Well. Clumsiness was one of my cuter traits.

Victoria spun around, her face twisted and her eyes darker than ever. But she seemed so blinded by fury that she didn't even know what had happened. I quickly scrambled to pick up the blowtorch and she watched me with her brow furrowed, as if she was merely curious to see what I was doing. To her, it probably just looked like a can of bodyspray. I quickly put my finger on the red button and aimed it at her and—

_Whoosh!_

Victoria howled as the initial lick of blue flame instantly melted the left side of her face. It was such a pain-filled screech that it seemed to shake my insides. But I kept the flame on her, extending my arm as far as it would go while keeping my body as far away as possible. Like a girl spraying a large insect she was afraid of. Victoria's hands flew to her face and she howled again and twisted and spun away, stumbling into a breakfast stool and collapsing into the floor. I inched forward, still holding down the red button, and continued spraying the flame all over her body as she twisted and writhed and screamed in pain. Her clothes were on fire and her skin was blackening and blistering in the path of the blowtorch. My eyes were filled with tears and I felt like I was going to start screaming as well. I couldn't handle it. She was in so much pain. Even though it was self-defence, and even though she was evil, I just couldn't—

I let go of the red button.

It was a stupid thing to do, but I honestly couldn't take it anymore. Victoria twitched on the floor. She was half black and burnt and half white and sparkling. All shrivelled and curled up like a dead spider. She sobbed and shuddered. I sobbed as well, watching her. I felt like I was going to throw up, but I had to finish her. If I didn't kill her right now, she would regenerate and come back and—

Suddenly her hand shot out and grabbed my ankle.

I gasped and stumbled backwards, but the hand were locked and I lost my balance. I fell and hit the floor with a thud. The blowtorch came loose and skidded across the tiles. I glanced wildly at Jake, but he was unconscious. I made a wild grab for the blowtorch, but a second hand grabbed my leg and dragged me back. Behind me came a guttural growl, the growl of a thing more demon than animal, and I spun around just as Victoria regained enough strength to leap on top of me.

I slapped at her with my hands, but she caught them and pinned them down. She was straddling my hips and I was completely immobile. I stared up at her, my breath shuddering in terror. She looked like a ghoul or a zombie, something that had defied death and come back to wreck vengeance on the living. Her hair blackened and scorched, her skin blistered and black with the pink of her cheekbone showing through the charred remains of her formerly perfect skin. Half her face and one of her eyes were gone and the remaining eye was a burning black centroid of murder. Her breath was seething in and out of her mouth and she was drooling venom so thickly that it dripped onto my clothes and burnt the skin where it seeped through. The sun was sparkling on the undamaged side of her face and slowly, very slowly, she leaned her face closer to mine. I tried to twist away, but I couldn't. I could hear a growl in her throat, a faint rumble like the demented purr of a rabid cougar, and I was so scared that I squeezed my eyes shut and turned away.

_Just get it over with. Please, just—_

I cried out in pain and my eyes shot open again. My wrist had snapped. She had been pinning my wrists to the floor so tightly that one of them broke. She probably didn't even notice. The pain was enormous and finally I broke down into sobs, gazing up at her in a silent plea for mercy. She growled at me lowly, glaring into my face. I waited. Waited to die. Waited for the pain and terror to end. But it didn't. The moment seemed to last for an eternity and finally her growl slowly began to quiet. Then it silenced completely. A flicker of clarity returned to her undamaged eye, just for a moment, and then her grip slowly began to slacken. I watched her, paralysed. A drop of venom hit my cheek and smouldered there like acid. I shivered and whimpered. Her face was only inches from mine and now it began to lift. Then she let go of my wrists and rose to her feet wobbly. I watched her from the floor, not moving. She kept her eye on mine, glaring at me in pure barely bridled hatred, and then she turned and barrelled through the glassdoor. The glass shattered and she crunched it underfoot as she disappeared into the morning sunlight.

I didn't move for a least a full minute. Then I scrambled for the blowtorch and quickly crawled over to Jake.

"Jake," I said, gathering his bloody head into my lap. "Jake, you okay?"

I slapped him gently. He roused and groaned.

"Bella," he said. "What happened?"

My voice came out babbling and half-hysterical. "She ran away. I got her with a blowtorch. Can you get up? Come on, we gotta get out of here."

"I'm sorry," he said, struggling to a knee.

"It's okay, come on. We gotta go."

I rose and helped pull him up with my undamaged arm, cradling my broken wrist against my chest. I looked at the shattered glassdoor, at the sunlight sparkling off the shards on the porch. She was gone. But for how long? Jake threw his arm around my shoulder and together we started limping. My chest was heaving with pain and adrenaline and I kept my finger poised on the red button of the blowtorch all the way to the truck.

—

**AN: Gotta admit, I loved this chapter. Lots of fun, lol. I love a badass Victoria. Big V, a friend of mine used to call her. Bella was a bit of a bad ass herself in this chapter too, which I thought was pretty good. Not sure how canon it was, though. Would a blowtorch actually work against SM's vampires? I think so, but I can't be sure. If not, just consider it my own personal tweak, lol. Also, a quick question to those who know the canon better than me; would Victoria scar after something like that, or would she heal perfectly? I'm pretty sure she would heal, but again, I'm not positive…**

**PS: Hope nobody's getting too impatient for Alice. She'll be back soon, I just have to establish Victoria properly first. Alice already has a head start on Bella's feelings, Vicky needs to catch up a little. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Wow, I'm loving reviews. Lots of different opinions, which gives me a ton of ideas. It makes me nervous too, because I don't want to disappoint anyone, lol.**

**A few people are asking about the primary pairing, but to be honest, I have no idea. I've designed this story to be very open-ended. With this one I'm just going with the flow, following the drama from one chapter into the next, letting the story write itself. That way it's a surprise for me as well. It's possible it'll end up as a threeway pairing or it's possible there'll be some kind of showdown – we'll have to wait and see. I do love the notion of a poly paring, though. Either way, just remember that this is still the very early stages and there's a lot more to come. :)**

**PS: Thanks for the feedback on canon vampires – again, lots of conflicting opinions, lol. Let's just say she'll fully heal. ;)**

—

Chapter 5:

—

It took about an hour to drive to the medical center, which was the small town equivalent of a hospital. Halfway there Jake had recovered enough to ask if I wanted him to drive. He was still having a hard time breathing, but two of the more shallow wounds on his face had already closed over. He still had a very large gash on his head, though, and he didn't seem any more fit to drive then me, so I shook my head and gritted on, my broken wrist laying in my lap while I steered with one hand.

The hospital was mostly empty. We came limping into the emergency room with Jake's arm around my shoulders for support—his knee was fucked, as he so eloquently put it—and the woman behind the counter stood up at the sight of my pale pain stricken face and Jake's bloody smile of bravado. Before we could even speak, she picked up her phone and called for a couple wheelchairs.

Our cover story was a motorcycle accident. Jake's idea. Pretty clever, I had to give him that. According to the story, he had swerved to avoid hitting a rabbit—Jake being such an animal welfare nut—and sent us into a ditch. Good thing we were wearing helmets. Those helmets had been misplaced somewhere along the line, of course, but rest assured, we were most certainly wearing them at the time of the accident. Still, we were both submitted for EKGs to check for concussions, along with a few other scans and x-rays. Jake was already anxious to get out of there. If they looked too closely at his results, they might find any number of abnormalities. The doctor was already puzzled about his body temperature, but like a true medical professional, he didn't seem to give too many fucks, and he mostly just glossed over it as a fever to avoid more work.

Finally they got around to my arm. The ex-rays revealed a fracture, he told me. I nodded, but honestly, I had figured that much out for myself. The good news was that it wasn't a complete snap and wouldn't require surgery. It might heal a little crooked, but as he already made clear, he didn't really give a shit. Neither did I, really, so I told him to just go ahead and put the cast on it. It wasn't my first broken bone, but I hoped to hell it would be my last. Me and the doctor were alone in a room and I winced a little as he wrapped my forearm in gauze before asking me what color cast I wanted—white, pink, yellow? Black, I said. Screw the girly colors; I'm a badass.

It wasn't even plaster, just some kind of synthetic wrap that went rock hard when he wet it with some solution. After the cast was set, he told me to wait there while he left the room on some obscure errand. While he was gone, my dad came into the room. I hadn't called him yet, so I was kind of surprised.

"Bells," he said, all frantic as if he thought I was dead. "I came as soon as they called, what…?"

But I cut him off with a tired smile and a shake of my head. "It's nothing, it was stupid. Jake was taking me for a ride on his motorbike, and…"

I trailed off, not wanting to go into too much details. Jake and I hadn't really come up with any details, anyway. We fudged through with the doctors, but I had a feeling dad might be more concerned.

"Did you crash?" he asked.

"Yeah, a little bit. There was a rabbit in the road and Jake swerved to avoid it."

"It's not like Jake to lose control over his bike. Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he'll be alright. He's just a little banged up."

"And you? Are you alright?"

He was looking at the cast on my arm. Black, just like I ordered. It had stopped hurting so much now that it was set. "Yeah, I'm alright," I said. "It's not even fully broken. Just a bad fracture."

He nodded. He looked like he wanted to give me a hug, but wasn't quite sure if the occasion called for one. After all, I wasn't dead but I did survive a road accident. Before he could decide, though, we had another visitor: Jake.

"Hey, Charlie," he said, popping his stitched and bandaged head into the room. "Sorry about, uh…"

He gestured toward me where I sat on a steel stool with my broken arm. There was real remorse on his face, and I realized that he probably did blame himself. There had been no motorcycle accident, but he did get captured by a vampire and used as leverage against me.

Charlie knew none of that, though. All he knew was that his teenage daughter had been damn near killed by another driver. But considering the clearly injured state of the remorseful boy in front of him, he managed to curb his fatherly fury and give him a terse nod.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "I'm just thankful nobody was seriously injured."

Jake nodded as well, a touch sheepishly. Charlie turned to me and took my jacket from where it was laying on a counter.

"Come on, Bella," he said. "We better get you home."

Jake came all the way into the room. "Um, do you mind if I talk to her for a second first?"

Charlie looked at him. He looked at me. Jake looked like he had something important to say—about our cover story maybe—so I nodded at dad for him to let us speak. Charlie didn't seem to want to but he put my jacket back.

"Alright," he said. "I'll go get your discharge papers."

Jake waited for him to go, hands in his pockets. There were dark patches of blood on his blue shirt and a small part of his head had been shaved for stiches. When dad was gone, he closed the door and turned to me. A small and slightly shy smile came over his busted lips and I realized this wasn't about our cover story.

It was about hitting on me again.

"So I never really got a chance to thank you," he said. "I would've been dead if you hadn't…"

"Don't worry about it," I said, rising from the stool as if I didn't plan to stick around very long—which I didn't. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, the wounds are already beginning to heal up. In a couple days, I'll be back to normal."

"Good for you. I'm gonna be wearing this cast for months."

I lifted my arm, snorting at the cast, and let it fall again. Jake stuck his hands in his pockets and shuffled his feet sheepishly.

"Sorry," he said again.

"Stop apologizing, Jake. It wasn't your fault."

He blew out a breath and shook his head. "I just can't believe she showed up on the actual reservation. She's got some huge fucking balls, I'll give her that much."

I chuckled. No shit. I'd been attacked by both James and Jasper, but neither of them compared to the sheer unbridled ferociousness of Victoria. It was almost sexy.

…wait.

Where did that come from?

I didn't know, but it made me blush a little as I tried to shake it away. But seriously. That look in her eye, that burning hatred. So scary it was sexy. Along with her vampire beauty and that blaze of red hair, she was like—

"Hey, Jake," I blurted quickly to derail my own thoughts. "Do you think you can drive my truck home for me? Dad thinks we were on a motorbike, so he'd be pretty suspicious if he saw my truck in the parking lot."

"Sure thing," he said. "But what happened, anyway? Back at the Cullen house. I was unconscious for most of it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, how come we're still alive? No offence and all, but you're just a girl."

"Just a _girl_? Don't you mean I'm just human?"

He rolled his eyes at my brief fit of feminism. Typical male. "Yeah, sure, whatever," he said. "How'd you take her out?"

"I told you about the blowtorch."

"Yeah, but…"

"But what?"

"She didn't disarm you or anything?"

"Nope. I caught her by surprise—when she was beating your ass."

I said it with a smirk to take the edge off. He went embarrassed again, but he was smiling too. I grabbed my jacket and folded it over my cast, preparing to go.

"I can't believe you said I'm just a girl," I went on. "Need I remind you that this _girl_ did more damage to the vampire than all you big bad wolves combined?"

"Yeah, yeah. I get the picture."

"Maybe I don't need you to protect me after all."

"Hey, just cuz you got lucky once, no need to get cocky."

I snorted goodnaturedly. I was standing with my jacket, waiting for a polite opportunity to leave. Jake glanced at the door and back at me.

"You're right, though," he said. "I guess I was the damsel this time, huh?"

"That's right."

"Which means I owe the handsome ladyknight a kiss, don't you think?"

I grinned, but mostly at the imagery. I didn't really want a kiss. He seemed to think I did, though, and he actually leaned in a little. I put a hand on his chest to stop him.

"The ladyknight gallantly waives her right to a reward," I said.

He backed off and stomped his foot playfully. "Damn."

"I just hope Victoria is gone for good this time. I burnt her pretty bad. It's possible she'll just leave, right?"

"Maybe, but I'm not gonna give her the chance if I can help it. First thing I'm gonna do is take Paul and Jared out there and pick up her scent while she still injured."

I felt a flutter of anxiety at that. I didn't know why, but…

"Maybe you should just let her go?" I suggested. "I mean, she's dangerous, and she already hurt you, and…"

"Fuck that. Bitch still has my cellphone."

He said it as a joke, more of his bravado. But I couldn't bring myself to chuckle. I was worried. And not even about Jake. Which was so completely stupid. Victoria was evil. She deserved to die, just like James had. And yet…

The door swung open and Charlie came back in.

"Okay, Bells," he said. "You ready to go?"

"Sure, dad, I'll just…"

I was trying to put my jacket on, poking the cast into the sleeve with limited success. Jake watched me with a grin and while I was half-disabled he seized the opportunity to swoop in and plant a kiss on my cheek. I recoiled and he chuckled.

"I owed you," he said.

I pouted and finally got my arm through the sleeve. Charlie had his hands on his hips and he glared at Jake. Jake gave him a grin as he backed out of the door.

"Later, Charlie."

Charlie snorted. "You just be careful on that bike next time, you hear?"

"I hear."

The door swung closed.

Charlie turned back to me as I straightened my jacket.

"So are you and Jake…?"

"No," I blurted, interrupting him. "Me and Jake are not."

He nodded. He seemed half-relieved and half-disappointed. He had always liked Jake, but that was before he had gotten me into a "motorcycle accident." Things like that are bound to take a few points off the father. Still. It was nice that Jake liked me. I really liked him too, just not…like that.

I sighed and took a wincing step toward the door—my leg and my back were pretty bad too.

"You okay, Bells?" dad said, offering me an arm.

I waved it away and said: "Yeah. I'm good."

—

It took three days before I was back to normal, aside from the cast and a pale bruise on my hip. At the hospital they had said the arm would take at least three months to heal. Which was pretty quick for a forearm fracture. I had to go back for an x-ray next week to make sure it was healing properly, but they said it would probably be fine. Aside from that, there was some lingering trauma—a little anxiety and paranoia—but physically I seemed to be absolutely fine.

Aside from that thing on my face.

I stared at it every morning after my shower. I had wiped down the steamed up mirror with a towel and I was looking at it now, a very small red patch on my cheek. Like a tiny burn. It didn't hurt, but it worried me because it had been caused by Victoria's venom. Hopefully it was just a scar. After all, it had been three days without any sign of infection or excruciating pain, so it was probably nothing to stress over. Still, though. I leaned closer to the mirror, touching the skin near it with my fingers. It almost looked like a tear. A small red tear, just below my eye. Looking at it caused my mind to wander back to how it happened. Victoria straddling my hips, pinning down my wrists. Hulking over me with her scorched hair and burning black eye. Her entire body had been seething and heaving with the desire to kill me and yet…

She hadn't.

For some reason that thought disturbed me more than anything. I mean, seriously. Why? Why hadn't she killed me? I mean, don't get me wrong. I was happy she didn't. Even though I'd been pretty depressed lately, I only wanted to die as hyperbole. But still. Why didn't she kill me? I mean, I had seen it with my own eyes—the hate, the hunger. The pain. My god, the pain. The woman's whole body was burnt. And the only way for vampires to regenerate was with fresh blood. And yet she didn't do it. She had the perfect opportunity, but she didn't. I was there for the taking, quivering and helpless beneath her, and instead of ripping me open to take revenge for both her wounds and her lover, she had instead let me go.

And I really didn't get it. Edward had often talked about how hard it was for him to resist his thirst for me. But that would've been _nothing_ compared to how Victoria would've felt in that moment.

I sighed and got changed for school. It was Wednesday, which meant there would be PE. Luckily I had a broken arm and a note from my dad that said I couldn't participate. I suppose I should send Victoria a thank you note. I had always hated PE. Then again, I had no idea where she was. Jake had called me last night and said her trail had terminated at a deer carcass not far from the Cullen house. It looked like she had stumbled upon the animal and fed from it in desperation before fleeing north—possibly all the way to Seattle. Jake didn't want me to let my guard down, but he said it was possible she might be gone for good.

I guess that was a good thing, but I had a hard time being happy about it. I certainly didn't want her to come back, of course. I had survived this time by pure fluke and I was pretty sure she wouldn't underestimate me again. But somehow the ordeal felt unfinished. It was an ominous feeling that kept me vigilant while I drove to school. Looking out the windows for any flash of red. I had bought an extra blowtorch and I kept one in the truck and one in my room at home. But aside from the paint on a couple cars, there was no red. If she was watching me somehow like she used to, she was very well concealed. Then again, there was probably no way she was ever getting close to Forks again without the wolves knowing about it. After what happened to Jake, they were all quite furious.

School that day was as boring as usual and during PE I found myself sitting on the sidelines and watching a dodgeball game while my thoughts drifted back to Victoria. I just wish I could figure out why she didn't kill me. For that matter, how come I never killed her either? Maybe that's the question I should be asking myself. I had her beat, after all. She was on the floor, all burnt up. All I had to do was keep my finger on the button and pretty soon she would've been nothing but a pile of ash. But I stopped. Why? I don't know. I guess I'm just not a killer. Even if she deserved it, I didn't think I could ever kill another person. Not even an evil vampire.

_But what if it was James?_

The thought made me pause. Because I realized that I probably never would've hesitated with James. If I had a blowtorch back when James took me, I would've burnt that fucker to a crisp without thinking twice. But that was different, wasn't it? James was a lot scarier. And a lot more, um…violent? Well, yeah. James had broken my leg. Victoria had only broken my arm. But was that enough to condemn James to death while Victoria got a free pass? Probably not. But that wasn't all. James was also much more sadistic. Which made him more evil. He was also—

—_much less sexier than Victoria_.

Well. There it was. I'd been dancing around the thought for days, but maybe I should just admit it. Victoria was hot. And even though she was a psycho bitch who almost killed me, I couldn't deny that all that passion and energy had made a strange impression on me. I wasn't in the habit of liking other girls—not until recently at least—but there was something about Victoria. I wasn't gonna send her a Valentine's Day card or anything, but I kept thinking about how she had spared my life, about how much she wanted to kill me and how much restraint it must've took not to, and whenever I thought about it, I felt…

…touched?

Yeah, touched. Flattered, even. It was crazy, but that adrenaline rush of relief as soon as she let me go—I had never felt anything like that ever. She could've killed me and she didn't. What a woman.

The coach blew his whistle sharply and I was jolted out of my reverie. Good thing, too. I was dangerously close to being turned on, and I really wanted to avoid that. These were bad thoughts. Unhealthy thoughts. Victoria was an evil monster who killed people. So what if she spared my life once? So what if she had sexy hair? So what if she had abs like—

_Goddammit, Bella, shut the fuck up._

It wasn't until after school when I realized that I had hardly thought about the Cullens at all since the other day. I guess I had more pressing concerns these days. Like fearing for my life and staying alive. Still, I did miss Alice. And it did hurt that she never showed up to help me. I hadn't really been expecting her to, but I guess it was truly time to face facts. All this time I had nurtured the dim hope that maybe one day they would come back. That Edward would realize that he loved me too much to stay away, or that Alice would just come and say hi. But by now I guess there was no more kidding myself. If they couldn't even be bothered to come back and save my life when I needed them, then I guess it was safe to say they were never, ever, coming back.

There was a cold wind blowing as I emerged into the parking lot that afternoon. Gray overcast. How perfect for my mood. That damn Victoria. Why didn't she kill me? It would've solved all my problems. No more missing Alice, no more looking over my shoulder. Ah well. You can't expect any favours from a psycho vampire. At least she broke my arm and spared me from PE. That was something, at least. I just don't understand how she could…

But my thoughts trailed off as my gaze happened to pass over the fence.

There was someone there. Someone that made me completely freeze to my bones. The fence was waist-high and she was leaning on it with her elbows. Just waiting. But it couldn't be. It couldn't be her. My heart had already started racing and my eyes were wet in the wind. But it wasn't fear that filled them because it wasn't Victoria over there.

It was Alice.

She had been looking at the cars in the parking lot but then the wind changed and she caught my scent. She turned and her eyes landed directly upon me. At first she only seemed relieved that I was there. Then she smiled and nimbly hopped over the fence into the parking lot.

I still hadn't moved. I stared at her as she approached, my whole body throbbing in disbelief. Just as I had reconciled myself to never seeing her again, here she was. But was it really possible? Could it really—?

Her smile grew at my expression and she greeted me with the same chirpy tone she had always greeted me with.

"Hey, you," she said. "Remember me?"

Of course I remembered her. Oh god. I was already beginning to cry. But it wasn't joy, it was something else. Something familiar to despair, because I had really thought she was gone, and—

"Alice?" I breathed.

Her smiled brightened again and she quickly came forward for a hug. Her arms closed around me and the embrace seemed to constrict my heart itself.

"Oooh," she said, rocking me a little. "I missed you so much."

I didn't reply. I didn't return the hug. She finally released me and then she smiled at my face as if to check if I still looked the same. My voice came out strange and slightly guarded, as if this was an imposter and not the real Alice.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I had a weird vision and I had to come see what was going on," she said. Then her eyes, yellow amber, drifted to the cast on my arm. "Are you okay? What happened?"

I looked down at the cast. She took it in her hands and lifted it up and looked into my face solicitously. She was holding my hand and her fingers were so fucking cold. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. She was beginning to realize that something was wrong and she tilted her head.

"Bella?"

I started to cry. I couldn't stop it. All these strange emotions that I didn't understand were bubbling to the surface. I tried to hold them back but finally they broke through in a sob. People in the parking lot had stopped to see what was going on, the reappeared Cullen and the crying Bella, and Alice quickly wrapped me into another hug.

"Hey," she said in soft alarm. "What's wrong?"

But I didn't answer, I only wrapped my arms around her and cried into her shoulder.

It took me a long time to calm down and she didn't pressure me right away to talk about it. She just soothed me and waited while I wiped my eyes. Neither of us seemed to know what to say next. I had no idea why she was here, but I was so hurt and angry and so fucking happy to see her again, that it was hard enough to simply focus on not crying. She was guiding me to my truck and she asked if we could go get something to eat while we talk. I nodded and said okay.

The place we went to wasn't far from school. A small coffeeshop that some of the kids like to hang out at. It wasn't very busy on a Wednesday. Alice and I sat at a table in the back and I had to force myself not to stare at her. It was the first time I had seen her in person since realizing that I had feelings for her and everything was different. She had always been pretty, but now she was attractive. Her skin so perfectly pale. Her face so delicately dollshaped. Her lips, pink and glossy. She was speaking to the waitress and she ordered us both double lattes. Lattes were my favourite. She had remembered.

We were silent while we waited and after a while the waitress bought the lattes. Alice thanked her cheerfully. I mumbled some thanks as well. Alice didn't touch hers because vampires didn't drink anything but blood. I didn't touch mine because my stomach felt like a shrivelled knot inside me. But I held the mug in my hands and tried to find some sort of solace in the warmth. Why was she here? Why did she come back? After everything that's happened, why—?

Alice sighed and attempted a smile.

"So what's going on?" she asked. "I've almost completely lost track of you since we left."

I didn't reply. I gave her my own attempt at a smile as well, just to acknowledge the levity, and she dimmed down a little.

"I've been worried about you for a while," she said. "It's like you completely fell off my radar. Only bits and pieces of visions. Almost as if something was blocking me. The last thing I saw was the old house. There was blood in the kitchen and broken glass. I didn't know if it had anything to do with you or just some random break in. There were people there, but it was all so indistinct. Do you know anything about it?"

"It was Victoria," I said, staring at my latte.

"Oh god."

"Yeah."

Alice leaned on the table anxiously. "But this is impossible," she said. "How come I never saw anything? Bella, you have to believe me. If I knew you were in danger…"

My hand was laying on the table and now she covered it up with her own to get my attention. I looked at her. My insides were churning. Her eyes were yellow and round and filled with something like regret.

"I'm so sorry," she said.

I shrugged and tugged back my hand gently. "It's alright."

"No, it's not. God, I knew this was a bad idea. I told Edward we shouldn't leave you. Hell, I practically begged him. But you know Edward."

"Yeah," I muttered. "Edward always knows best."

She sighed in agreement but it wasn't like her to say anything negative about her brother. I lowered my eyes back to my latte and turned the handle to the other side. To be honest, I didn't know how I felt about all this. Alice was saying that her visions were muddled, that if she knew I was danger she would've came right away, but…

"You haven't asked if he came down here with me," she said.

At first I didn't know who she was talking about. Then I remembered.

Edward.

Hmph. Funny how I'd almost completely stopped caring about him. Then again, after how he treated me, why shouldn't I?

"Did he?" I asked.

Alice shook her head. "No. I never told him I was coming to see you. I didn't tell anyone. I didn't want to remind him of you unless there was serious trouble. He…he hasn't been handling it well. The break up."

I snorted. "Makes two of us."

"I'm so sorry, Bella. As much as I hate what we did to you, you really were in danger with us. Edward was right. After what Jasper did, leaving was really the only way to protect you." But even as she said it, her eyes fell on the cast I was wearing on my arm and she went a little sheepish. "Aside from this one oversight."

I looked at her coldly. "Yeah? Well, that oversight almost got me and Jake killed."

She dimmed and I felt a little bad. But I didn't apologize.

"Who's Jake?" she asked.

"He's a friend of mine. A Quileute."

"Oh. A shifter?"

"You know about them?"

"Yeah. Edward and Carlisle told me about them. No wonder my visions were so muddled."

"Why?"

"I've always had trouble seeing the tribe. Carlisle says I can see vampires because I am a vampire, and I can see humans because I used to be human, but the wolves…the wolves are just a blur."

I nodded slowly. So that's why. When she first mentioned muddled visions, I thought she just wasn't that concerned about me. But if it was the wolves, I guess that made more sense. They were natural enemies.

Alice was looking down at her latte, her hands wrapped around the mug, and she didn't seem to know what else to say. I felt really bad for her now. She had come here without her families knowledge because she was worried about me and so far I wasn't even acting like a friend. It was wrong of me to be so angry at her. None of this was her fault.

I cleared my throat. "So…"

She looked up, eyes round and full of hope. My heart fluttered.

"If you had seen me in trouble," I said. "You would've came?"

Her mouth flowed into a smile and she reached for my hand again. "Of course," she assured me. "I'd never let anything happen to you if I could stop it."

I chuckled once. A little wetly. My eyes were beginning to tear up again. Oh, Alice. She seemed to have spoken with all her heart and I couldn't help forgiving her. How could I have been mad at her? This was Alice. Of course she cared about me.

Alice let go of my hand and shook her head with a smile. "I can't believe so much has happened while we were gone. I had no idea. I'm just glad the wolves have been here to protect you."

"Actually, it's more like me protecting them."

"What do you mean?"

"The last time Victoria showed up, I took half her face off with a blowtorch."

"You did?"

"Uh huh."

"Wow. And where were the shifters during all this?"

"Jake was half dead on the ground and the rest were probably out in the woods licking their balls or something."

She giggled.

I'd almost forgotten the sound of it. The sweetest thing I had ever heard. I'd always loved her laugh. Not just the sound, but the brightness of it, her eyes, her smile. I looked down quickly and toyed with my mug so she wouldn't notice how affected I was.

"Well," she said. "I'm just glad you're okay."

I nodded, looking down at the cup. Some of the foam had settled and it wasn't really hot anymore. Just tepid. I still hadn't even sipped it. Eventually I sighed and looked up.

"So what happens now?" I asked. "Are you staying in Forks?"

The way her smile slipped away made my insides turn. "I don't know," she said. "Something has to be done about Victoria. I can't just leave you in danger."

"Jake's been tracking her scent. He says she probably fled to Seattle."

"Do you think these wolves can handle it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's taken Edward so long to get over you. And he still hasn't. If I told him you were in danger…"

"He'd what? Come back, save me, and go away again?"

She chuckled once. But it was humourless and sad. "Yeah," she said. "Probably. And that's not going to do anything but hurt everyone. Right?"

I didn't answer. I could feel the tears coming back because I knew what she was trying to work up to.

She wanted to leave.

That's why she wanted to know if the wolves could handle it. She wanted to go back to wherever it was she came from and not tell anyone. As much as she cared about me, she cared about her family more.

"It's up to you, Bella," she said. "I mean, this is your life we're talking about. If you want us to come back and protect you, we will. Or if you feel safe enough with the wolves…"

"Edward never gave me any choice."

"I'm not Edward. This is your decision."

"What about you? Can't you stay?"

"No. If I'm gone too long, they'll know something's up. It's hard enough to even hide my thoughts from Edward."

I shook my head, fighting back tears. How could she do this to me? How could I possibly tell her to stay when she clearly doesn't want to?

"You have to decide, Bella," she prompted me softly. "I have to get back by tonight."

I looked up. "Get back where?"

She didn't answer. She looked out across the coffeeshop with troubled eyes. I hated that look. It was the look of someone who didn't want to hurt you but was going to anyway. I sniffed and wiped my eyes.

"Can't I at least get your phone number?" I asked. "I mean, why do you have to just disappear?"

She turned back to me and touched my hand one more time. "Bella," she said. "I know this is hard for you to understand, but…it's just not meant to be. You and Edward. And it's not your fault. It's Edward. He's always resented his vampirism. I don't think he'll ever be able to fully reconcile himself to being in love with a human."

"I don't care. Edward isn't the only one I lost, Alice. You were my best friend. And you didn't even say goodbye."

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"You don't have to apologize, just…just give me your phone number. Okay? Or an email. Anything. Please. Just don't…"

I broke down into a sob and covered my face with my hands.

"I can't, Bella," she said, almost whispering. "I wish I could."

I wiped my eyes and tried to look at her. "Why can't you?"

Alice sighed sadly. Yet only a sigh. Aside from that, her face was virtually untouched. Her eyes dry. Vampires could never cry but I didn't think she would even if she could. She was clearly nowhere near as distraught as I was. To her, I was nothing. Just some human.

"I love you, Bella," she said, "but I love Edward as well, and I can't do anything that would hurt him. His only hope of ever getting over you and being happy again is to stay as far away as possible. He can't handle even the smallest reminder. You have to understand. Now, please, tell me. Are you comfortable being protected by the wolves?"

I sniffed. I didn't answer. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my feelings for her because they were just so out of balance. It wasn't fair. I needed her so much, and yet…

"Do you want me to call Edward?" she asked.

I covered my face and shook my head.

"You have to decide, Bella," she urged me gently. "I'll do whatever you want me to."

"Then go," I sobbed. "Just go."

"Bella…"

She reached to touch me again but I couldn't handle it. I flinched backward and knocked over the latte with my elbow. It spilt. People looked over. I was on my feet, I didn't know I had stood up.

"Bella, please—"

But I was so consumed by hurt and humiliation that I wheeled around and rushed out of the coffeeshop even though this was the last time I was ever going to see her and I should've held on to every second.

—

I was a complete mess on the way home, crying uncontrollably and smacking the steering wheel as I drove. I was so agitated I could've got into an accident. I almost wished I did. Because there were no wolves around and Alice would see it. I didn't want her to rescue me. I just wanted her to see it.

But I got home without any major bodily harm, just emotional. I was shut up in my room when dad came home, asking about dinner. I told him I wasn't feeling well and he said he would order pizza. I told him I was too tired to eat. He said he would put mine in the fridge. I was curled up on my bed, facing the wall, and he lingered in the doorway for a long time. After a while he asked me again if I was alright. I told him I was, but mostly I just wanted to be alone. There was nobody I could talk to for this kind of hurt. Not my father, not my mother. Not Alice. Nobody could possibly understand how I felt. I'm not even sure I did.

I was so emotionally exhausted that I couldn't even think. My whole head felt blank. All I could do was wish Alice had never come back. She had no idea the amount of damage she had just done to me. I had almost completely gotten over it. I had let go of Edward and resigned my feelings for Alice and convinced myself that none of them were ever coming back. I had Jake as a friend—and potential boyfriend, in case this was all just a phase—and I even had Victoria out there harassing me into a strange state of terror and attraction.

And now this.

God, Alice. Why? You shouldn't have come back. You should've just left me alone. I mean, it was good to know that the wolves had been blocking her visions and in reality she really did care about me, but was it worth the pain I was going through now? No. I would've rather believed she didn't care about me at all. And maybe she didn't, anyway. After all, she had sure taken her time to come check up on me. You'd think she might've at least taken the time to make a phone call when her visions went so blurry. She could've at least—

My phone buzzed. It was vibrating on my nightstand.

Sighing, I rolled over and grabbed it. It was Jake. He had been calling me every night ever since he got his new phone. It was sweet, I guess. He was a good friend. I didn't really want to talk to anyone, but maybe Jake could make me feel better. He had a better shot at it than my dad. So I answered the phone and put it to my ear.

"Hey, Jake," I said glumly. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing much," said a female voice, one I recognized all too well. "Just calling to say hello."

I froze and the most peculiar sensations rolled over my body.

"Victoria?"

A soft snort came from the other end of the phone. Definitely Victoria. Jake had said she still had his phone. I figured she would've thrown it away, but I guess she had kept it. Unless she had somehow captured Jake again.

I sat up in the bed. "Is Jake…?"

"No, no, no," she said. "No hostages. No intimidation. No threats." Then there was a sound like a soft chuckle and her voice took a throaty tone. "Well…maybe a few threats."

I gulped. That last part almost sounded like flirting. Almost. My heart had started racing and my eyes darted around my bedroom. The blowtorch was in my panty drawer but I didn't think I'd need it. As crazy as it was, I was very interested in what she had to say. After what happened today, maybe she was exactly the person to talk to. I licked my dry lips and tried to keep my voice steady.

"What do you want?" I asked.

—

**AN: Not a cliffhanger, just a chapter break, lol. But I hope Alice didn't feel shoehorned in earlier. I felt she needed at least one scene to jumpstart some feelings and take care of some exposition before something more dramatic happened. Before all that, though, Bella and Victoria really need a little more development. ;) **


	6. Chapter 6

—

Chapter 6:

—

"I wanted us to have a talk, you and I," she said, her voice suspiciously soft and mysterious. "After all, we've been through a lot together these last couple weeks. I admit you've caused me far more trouble than I thought you would. I'm almost impressed."

I sat there with the phone, frowning and guarded. "Well, you didn't expect me to just give myself up to die, did you?"

"Actually, I did. I suppose I've developed a rather low opinion of humans over the years. After a while they all seem so weak. You in particular. I thought you were just some stupid girl."

"And what do you think now?"

"Now I think you're stupid and lucky."

"Is that all?"

"Well…perhaps you are a _little_ stronger than I gave you credit for."

My stomach fluttered. I didn't trust her tone at all, but I couldn't help being strangely flattered. Just a little. The phone had been pressing into my ear and now I eased it up.

"Yeah, well," I said. "Yay, me. I got lucky."

"Yes. Next time I won't underestimate you."

"Neither will I. From now on I'm not taking any chances. I'm gonna be looking out for you more than ever and the wolves will too. And guess what? Alice came to see me today. She said her visions had been blocked by the Quileutes, but she knows about you now."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, that's so. And she said she'd never let anything happen to me, so you might as well just give up. I might be nothing but a stupid girl with a blowtorch, but I don't think you want to take your chances against an entire coven of vampires and a pack of pissed off shapeshifters."

Victoria responded to my threats with nothing but another low and throaty chuckle. It frightened me because I thought I had been making some effective points. The part about the Cullens looking out for me was a little exaggerated, but Victoria had no way of knowing Alice had basically just abandoned me again.

"What so funny?" I demanded.

"Not funny," she said. "Cute."

Slowly a hot blush began to engulf my face.

Cute?

It was probably just some scare tactic, but her voice—her voice was sexy as fuck. High and lilting, even higher than Alice's. So soft and gentle. So deceptive. From the tone of her voice, I could picture her chilling on a bed like a teenager, relaxing on her stomach with her feet in the air as she enjoyed a casual phone conversation with a treasured bestie—whom she really wanted to kill.

"You have no idea what I'm going to do to you, do you?" she asked in that same soft beautiful voice.

I swallowed the lump of fear in my throat. "I think I do."

"No," she said. "You don't."

I didn't know what she meant. I was sitting there on the edge of the bed, with my feet on the floor, and I waited very tensely for her to continue.

"When I first came after you," she began softly, "it was simply because you were involved in James's death. As minor as your role was, it was enough to target you for revenge. You were the first step. The least important step. But now…"

My chest tightened as a soft inhaling sound came over the phone. She was breathing in, slowly and deeply, as if she could smell my scent over the phone and wanted to savour it.

"Now it's different," she continued, practically in a whisper. "You've put me at considerable inconvenience, Ms Swan."

"I've been a little inconvenienced as well," I said guardedly.

"Yes," she said, her voice going even softer, more sinister. "And soon it'll be more than mere inconvenience. I'm going to find you, Bella. Not now. But soon. I'm going to find you and I'm going to rend you limb from limb. I'm going to break every bone in your body…and rip open your rib cage…and twist your head until your spine comes loose…and pry apart your legs until your body splits directly down the center. I'm going to make you scream in agony and cry your eyes out upon the ground and beg for death until your throat bleeds and then, and only then, will your death be satisfactory to me. And do you know why?"

I was sitting absolutely still and my voice broke slightly as I said:

"Why?"

"Because you _survived_," she hissed.

I blinked and waited for more. But that was it. My throat was almost closed over and yet I didn't think I was as afraid as I was supposed to be.

"I didn't survive," I said. "You let me go."

She didn't reply. Her silence dispelled even more of my fear.

"You could've kill me if you wanted," I said.

"Yes," she finally replied. "But it would've been very quick, wouldn't it?"

"Is that the only reason? I thought maybe you felt sorry for me."

"Hardly. The truth is, that moment made a very deep impression on me. I had never been hurt to that extent in my life. Never. Survival is my specialty. I've never been taken off-guard. Never been burnt. Yet the agony of the burns paled in comparison to everything I wanted to do to you. In all the years I've been alive I have never experienced such an extreme…_passion_ for my prey. The feeling was…sublime."

Her words freaked me out in more ways than one.

I mean…passion?

Yikes. It was one thing to kill in hate and revenge, but she was moving into full-blown psycho territory here. Her low tone of voice was pure seductiveness, as if killing and torturing me wouldn't be enough and maybe she would have to fuck me as well. Or my corpse. And the most disturbing thing about that was the tiny twitch of excitement I felt deep in the dark part of my heart.

That's what scared me the most.

"Then why did you let me go?" I asked.

A surprisingly sweet giggle came from the other end of the phone. "Because I wanted to keep the feeling," she said, all bubbly like a girl with a crush. "Is that silly, do you think?"

"No," I said. "It's insane."

Another giggle, softer this time. "I think you're right. I do feel very different. I feel like something has snapped inside me. Honestly, it feels…nice. It's been a while since I've felt anything but grief and anger. Oh, I can't wait to see you again, Ms Swan. To see you and get my hands on you. It's going to feel _soooo_ good…"

She trailed off with a low and sexy groan. As if the anticipation was just too much. My face began to heat again and I found myself clenching my knees together. What the fuck was she doing to me? I didn't know what to say and after a while I heard her heave a sigh.

"And that's why I wanted to call," she said. "For some reason I felt the need to share this with you. To let you know. To take a sip of your fear, as it were. Are you afraid, Ms Swan?"

"Yes," I said steadily.

"Good. That's good."

But then I just shook my head. All this felt so wrong and I just wanted it to stop. "Listen, Victoria," I said. "You don't have to do this."

"You've already tried that. Twice."

"Yeah, well, maybe this time you'll listen to me. James is dead, alright? He was a scumbag and an asshole and he got what he deserved. Why can't you just get over it?"

She went silent.

Dead silent.

"Huh?" I went on. "Why? I got over the Cullens. Edward left me and do you see me crying about it and threatening to kill anyone who made him go away? No. I got over it."

"Hm," she murmured. "It's interesting you bought that up."

"Why?"

"Because it's something you and I have in common. We've both experienced the loss of a mate. Only mine was killed and yours left. Which might explain why my grief tends toward revenge, while yours tends toward pouting. And I will have my revenge, Ms Swan. Beginning with you."

I scoffed in disgust. "You know, I really don't understand you, Victoria. James was such a pathetic piece of shit. How did you even fall in love with him in the first place? Are you really that desperate?"

She didn't reply for a moment. I thought maybe I had made her angry but when she spoke her voice came over the phone soft and hesitant and even a little wistful.

"James and I met in England," she said. "He chose me as one of his victims, but of course, I wasn't some helpless little girl. I managed to evade him for months until we finally met. By then a mutual respect had grown between us and we decided on a wary partnership."

I heard all that with a peculiar feeling in my chest. Because it kind of reminded me of what was happening with me and Victoria. Victoria had chosen me as a victim, but—

"I fell in love with him shortly after," she went on softly. "He was a very fierce hunter."

"He was a monster," I retorted.

Again I thought that would've made her angry but she only chuckled. "To you, perhaps. As a human it's natural that you'd think human life is precious. But to a vampire, you're just…food."

I frowned and exhaled through my nose. This conversation was going nowhere.

"We'd play hide and seek sometimes," she continued, fading again into wistfulness. "James and I. No one can hide like me. And no one can seek like James. Some games lasted for months, but we'd always get hungry for each other. So I'd let him find me. We never could get sick of each other. We would've had forever to try…if it wasn't for you."

Now she was beginning to get angry.

"Everything went wrong because of _you_," she growled.

But I was sick of her shit and I just shook my head. It was nice that she could confide her feelings in me—the crazy bitch—but I had my own problems to deal with. "James's death had nothing to do with me," I said. "It could've been me or any other girl. Live by the sword, die by it. James bit off more than he could chew and he got himself killed."

"How dare you."

"You should just feel lucky that you didn't die too. And if you plan to continue living, then you might wanna just leave me the fuck alone. I have a pack of wolves and a whole coven of vampires watching my back and they're not gonna let you get anywhere near me. So if you have any sense at all, you might as well just—"

"Bella!" Charlie called from downstairs. "You sure you don't want any pizza? You really should eat something."

I cringed in embarrassment. Great timing, dad. Right when I'm trying to act brave with the woman who wanted to torture me to death. I turned back to the phone, blushing a little.

"That's my dad," I said. "He's calling me for dinner."

Victoria said nothing. I nibbled my lip anxiously.

"Well, I better go, so, um…call me back?"

Again she didn't answer. The line simply went dead and I realized she had hung up.

I lowered the phone to my lap and raked a clawed hand through my hair. My breath came out trembly and a few shivers passed over my body. It was like the adrenaline had been blocked while we were talking and now it was released to flow through my veins. It took a few moments for me to calm down and a few more to wrap my head around what had happened.

Victoria wanted to kill me.

Slowly.

Very slowly.

And, um…yeah. That kind of turned me on a little.

Shaking my head, I put the phone back on the nightstand and stood up. My legs were a little wobbly. From the fear, of course. Yeah. Just fear. Either way, I needed to stop thinking about it, so I pushed the thought away and went downstairs for a slice of pizza. I still wasn't the least bit hungry, but I didn't want dad to worry about me any more than he already was. Funnily enough, the phone call from Victoria had actually made me feel better. Or maybe it had just given me something else to worry about. Something more serious. Like the fact that there was possibly a slow and agonizing death in my near future.

It was a disturbing thought and it stayed with me the rest of the night until I went to bed. Even more disturbing was how I laid there in the dark and thought about it so calmly. Even with a little excitement. I mean, damn. I could still hear her voice in my head, seductively whispering all the horrible and violent things she wanted to do to me. And yet…I wasn't really afraid. Because somehow I didn't quite believe her. Oh, I knew she _wanted_ to do all those things. Oh yes, she _wanted_ to. But would she?

I didn't know. I didn't plan to let my guard down, but I had my doubts if she would actually be able to go through with all her threats. Her voice had been too soft, too eager. Especially when she was talking about that moment when she had let me go. She had said it herself: that moment had changed her. She claimed it had simply intensified her desire to kill me but I had lived through that moment as well and I had seen it in her eye. Beyond all the hatred and all the anger and all the pain, there had been something else as well. Something that wanted me in a different way. She had let me go instead of killing me and if she ever had me pinned down a second time…I bet she would let me go again.

But then I snorted at myself and rolled over.

_Or maybe I'm just as crazy as she is._

—

**AN: Short chapter this time, but it felt like a natural break before the next block of drama. Also, I edited the summary a little to reflect Victoria's larger role in the story than I first anticipated. ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

—

Chapter 7:

—

I slept surprisingly well that night and in the morning I also felt surprisingly well. I chalked it up to shock and trauma, since there was obviously no reason in the world I ought to feel okay. Not with Victoria out there and Alice's abandonment so fresh in my heart. I guess I was at the point where I was just kind of numb to it all.

I spent all of the next day on the lookout for Alice and Victoria. Scanning street corners at red lights, watching the windows in class. I never saw either of them. That's when I began to get depressed again. Part of me hadn't believed Alice would just leave things like that. It had been the first time I'd seen her in months and it ended in a spilled latte and me running away in tears. You'd think she could at least call to apologize or check if I felt better. I held onto the hope until the end of class but when I emerged into the parking lot at the end of the day and scanned the fence the hope sunk into my stomach. Alice wasn't there. She really had just left.

I went home so lonely and sad that I would've actually liked to see Victoria. Not saying I'm suicidal, but you know. Teen angst. I guess I just kind of wanted to see her. Not in a 'please kill me' way, just in a regular 'maybe we could hang out' kind of way. I just had this weird impression that she would be a cool friend if she wasn't trying to kill you. Not only was she a total boss, but she was right last night when she said we had something in common. We had both lost a mate. Only mine wasn't Edward. It was Alice. Well, maybe "mate" was an exaggeration. I'm not a vampire and humans don't mate as far as I know. But I did care about her. And miss her. So much. Victoria knew how that felt. She probably missed James the same way.

Jake called later that night and for a second I thought it might be Victoria again. But it was his new phone and when I answered it was just regular old Jake. He usually called every night to give me a report on the wolf patrols and let me know that there was still no sign of Victoria anywhere near Forks. Only this time he had something extra to report—an altercation with Alice near her old house. They had picked up her scent and surrounded her as an intimidation tactic before driving her away with snarls and little feint attacks. He told me all this in a sort of confession, as if he thought maybe I would be pissed off about it, but I just nodded and accepted it. It even made me feel a little better. All this had happened this morning, which meant she had at least stayed in town overnight. If the wolves hadn't found her, maybe she would've come to see me again. Although deep down I was glad they got rid of her. Alice's first loyalties would always be to her family and Edward. She would only hurt me again.

And yet the very next day I was still looking out for her. Not just Alice, but Victoria too. It was a strange feeling, knowing that maybe I would never see either of them again and even if I did they would cause me nothing but pain—Alice emotionally, Victoria literally. And even stranger to realize that despite all that I did want to see them again. Both of them.

A few days passed and slowly everything fell back into the same boring routine. Jake was almost completely healed by now, which was more than I could say for myself. Luckily, the broken arm was the left one. It still made it pretty tricky to cook and eat, though. By the end of the week I had to go back to the hospital for another x-ray. They said the bone was setting fine and for me to come back in three months. They had cut off the cast to take the x-ray and now the doctor was wrapping it up again. They were out of black this time, so I picked red. I'm not sure why, although I had to admit that I was aware that Victoria's hair was red as well. You'd think I'd want to avoid reminders of the woman who wanted to kill me, and yet here I was on the way home, the cast cradled in my lap as I gazed down into that rust-red material and wished that…what? That Victoria and I could be friends? Yeah. As stupid and impossible as it was, that's what I wanted.

Another few days passed with no sign of anything I was looking out for. No call from Alice. No text. No call from Victoria either, for that matter. Just Jake. He called all the time and we hung out a lot. By now he was pretty much convinced that Victoria might not even be in Seattle anymore. She could be in a completely different state. I hadn't told him about when she had called me. Not only did it seem private, but I wasn't even sure what it implied. The way she spoke suggested that my demise was at the tippy top of her list, but the way she had hung up was almost defeatist. As if I had sapped the fire out of her. I really didn't know what she was thinking.

It was Wednesday morning when I got a surprise at school. It was in the middle of class, the room silent, when a soft knock on the door caused us all to look up. It was the assistant principle, a small woman with glasses, and she looked very anxious as she scanned the room and found—

Me.

"Bella Swan," she said. "I'd like to see you in my office for a minute."

Everyone was looking at me, wondering what kind of trouble I had gotten into. But I had a sinking feeling that trouble that was coming to me. I rose from my desk, glancing at the teacher. The teacher nodded permission and I followed the assistant principle out into the corridor.

She didn't speak and she walked pretty fast. I followed a little behind her as we went up the stairwell.

"Um, am I trouble?" I asked.

"No, no, it's a family matter," she said. "Your father is here to see you."

"Why?"

She glanced at me worriedly. "I think it's best you speak to him."

I didn't answer but the bad feeling was getting worse.

The assistant principal's office was on the second floor. My dad was there, as she had said. He was looking down at the carpet. The assistant principle let me in wordlessly and then left us alone, closing the door behind her. Dad turned to me. His eyes were slightly red, as if he'd been crying. I'd never seen him look like that.

"Dad, what's going on?" I asked anxiously.

He shook his head as if he's better just tell me. "I'm sorry, Bells," he said. "It's your mother. She's dead."

At first I didn't even seem to understand. I was stunned.

"What?" I whispered.

"I'm so sorry, baby," he said. "I got a call from the police department in Phoenix. There was a break in. At your mother's house. She was killed by the intruder."

My eyes were filling with tears as he spoke. "No," I said. "No, this…"

Hot salt choked off my words. Charlie looked at me sadly.

"I'm so sorry, Bells," he said.

I shook my head, utterly shocked and devastated, and he came forward to wrap his arms around me. I tried not to cry but the sorrow welled up uncontrollably through my chest and burst into a sob.

My mother was dead.

My mother was…

"I'm so sorry, Bells," dad repeated, holding me tightly as I cried into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

—

An hour later and I was still somewhat in shock. Dad had taken me home and installed me up in my room while he went downstairs to make some phone calls and funeral arrangements. Funeral. For my mother.

I truly could not believe it. It was my first experience with death and the idea that I was never going to see her again, never talk to her, never hug her, never even email her again, was a hundred times more excruciating and unbearable than when the Cullen's left. This wasn't abandonment. This was permanent. It really threw things into perspective and made me feel almost silly for being so obsessed with Alice. Because now I knew what true loss was. Oh, mom. Oh, god.

I was sitting at my desk with a tissue in my hand, my eyes red and weeping, and I opened the inbox on my computer for the first time in couple days. There was one unread from my mother. I clicked on it and read it, trying not to cry. It was just the regular stuff. Asking me how I was doing. Telling me about Phil. Teasing that maybe they were thinking about having a baby together before it was too late. But it was too late. It was forever too late and suddenly I burst into tears.

Ten minutes later I was laying in my bed with the whole box of tissues, trying to keep calm. It was just so surreal. My mother, dead. And not just dead. Murdered.

The thought almost made me cry again. That was the hardest part. Someone had killed my mother. Someone had come into her home and killed both her and her husband. Phil was dead as well. I hadn't known him so well, but he was always good to me. He didn't deserve to die. Neither did my mother. It wasn't fair. Dad had gotten some details from the police in Phoenix. They were saying it didn't look like a robbery. Just murder. And that's what scared me the most. Because it couldn't be coincidence. James had once used my mother in order to get to me. And now he was dead and there was someone else who was determined to get me.

Victoria.

I didn't even want to consider it, but I had to. What if Victoria had done it? Jake kept telling me that it was possible she wasn't even in Seattle. What if she had gone to Phoenix and killed my mother?

I shook my head, wiping my eyes with a tissue. I couldn't handle this alone and I had a sudden urge for Jake. Jake would help me sort all this out. So I gave him a call and told him tearfully what happened. He was as shocked as I was, but he was tactful enough not to question me over the phone. Instead he promised to be here as soon as possible. I waited in my room, quietly sniffling to myself, and soon I heard the front door downstairs. Then voices. Jake telling Charlie what he was doing here. Finally I heard him come up the stairs and push open my door tentatively.

"Hey," he said softly.

I rose up on my bed, the pillow in my lap. "Hey."

He came over and sat next to me. He already looked like he wanted to put at least one arm around me. But he probably realized that now wasn't the best time to make a move and he just sighed.

"So how you doing?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Not good."

He nodded as if he agreed. Then he shook his head as well. "I couldn't believe it when you told me. I remember meeting your mom one time. I was just a kid."

"I couldn't believe it either."

My voice was sad and lost. He watched me for a moment and then he did put an arm around me. I didn't mind.

"I'm glad you called me," he said. "I mean, I'm glad I'm the one that you can, uh…call. When you're not feeling so good."

"It's not just that," I said. "I'm scared."

"What do you mean?"

"What if this wasn't some random break in, Jake? What if it was…"

I didn't even want to say it. But I guess he had been thinking the same thing because he said:

"Victoria?"

I nodded and looked up at him. "Yeah. I mean, it's not like she's never targeted people that I love in order to get to me before."

He blushed a little. Because I had used the word love. Referring to him. Honestly, I was talking more about the current situation with my mother, but I guess his last encounter with Victoria fit the description too.

Still, the word made him a little awkward and he let his arm slip from my shoulders as he focused on being serious.

"I don't know, Bells," he said. "How would she even know about your mother?"

"She knew from ages ago. Back when James first came after me. She was the one who scouted information for him and he used my mother to try and draw me away from the Cullens."

"And you think Victoria's picking up where he left off?"

"I don't know. It's just…how could this be a coincidence? She… my mother… my…"

I trailed off as the emotions began to overpower me. My face dimpled and then suddenly I burst into tears again.

This time he put both arms around me and drew me close. He even rocked me a little and rubbed my back. I held him tight and cried into his shirt.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he said.

"It doesn't make any sense," I sobbed. "Why would she do this? Why would she kill my mother?"

"I don't know."

"I would've sacrificed myself if she only gave me a chance. I never would've let my mother die."

"Well, maybe it wasn't Victoria?"

I sniffed and eased myself out of the hug, interested in what he was going to say. I plucked another tissue and blew my nose. "What do you mean?"

It wasn't like Jake to defend a vampire, but he could see how desperate I was to believe this wasn't my fault, so he gave it a shot. "Well, like you said, it makes no sense," he said. "I could see how maybe she'd use your mother as leverage, but she doesn't gain anything by just…"

_By just killing her._

That's what he left unspoken. I wiped my eyes with the tissue and tried not to cry more. "It would draw me away from Forks," I said. "I have to go to Phoenix for the funeral. I'll be completely out in the open."

"No, you won't," he said, grabbing my hand and holding it. "I'm coming with you, okay?"

I looked down at my hand. I was a little embarrassed, not just because he was holding it, but because it was probably wet with facial fluids. I tugged it back politely and looked at him.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Alice came to see me the other day. She said that you and the other wolves block her visions. But if she knew I was in trouble, she would've came right away."

He frowned but I continued.

"So maybe I should go alone," I said. "And if anything bad is going to happen, she'll see it. She'll see it and she'll…"

His frown deepened. I didn't know if he just mistrusted vampires in general or if he was jealous that I wanted her protection instead. Personally, I was beyond any kind of emotional involvement. I didn't care about Alice or Jake or Victoria, all I cared about was my own safety.

"What do you think?" I asked, genuinely interested in his input.

He shrugged grudgingly and made an effort to be unbiased. "It's up to you, Bells," he said. "All I can tell you is that I care about you a lot more than those leeches ever will."

"But what if you get hurt again?"

"That's not going to happen," he said determinedly. "I was cocky last time. This time, I'm taking it dead serious. I'll never let anything happen to you, Bella, I swear."

I sniffed and gave him a little smile. But I was pretty sure he was just being stubborn. Victoria had outwitted him once, and I was pretty sure she could do it again.

"I mean, come on," he went on with a grin. "Who would you rather have watching your back – the leeches that abandoned you, or the guy who loves you?"

Now it was my turn to blush slightly.

It was that word love again.

He realized he probably could have phrased that better and cringed. "Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to…"

I shook my head for him to not worry about it. "It's okay," I said. "I said it too. And I do love you, Jake. But as a brother. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know that," he said, wrapping me into another hug. "I feel the same way."

I had some serious doubts about that, but now wasn't the time. He rubbed my back and I closed my eyes, enjoying his warmth. Even if he kind of sucked at protecting me, he really did give great hugs.

"Don't worry about a thing, Bella," he said. "I'm gonna protect you, okay?"

I nodded into his shoulder. "Yeah," I said. "And maybe this has nothing to do with Victoria. Maybe it's just…"

Just what? A random break-in where my mother and step-father were brutally murdered? That wasn't much of a bright side and suddenly I sobbed and started crying again.

—

The flight to Phoenix seemed to last forever. I spent the ride gazing out the window into the nightsky. The window was almost totally opaque and I could see my reflection in it. Dad was sleeping. Jake was at my side. It hadn't taken much convincing for dad to let him come along. He had actually been glad to pay for the extra ticket so that I'd have someone to support me. He had never been too great at that role himself. By now he probably thought Jake was my boyfriend, and to be honest, I was beginning to wonder as well. Jake was the only person who had never left me or hurt me or let me down. Even now, at the absolute lowest moment of my life, here he was to try and be there for me. I turned away from the window and looked at him. He gave me a smile. I took his arm and wrapped it around my shoulders and closed my eyes to try and get some sleep.

The funeral was in the morning. We'd gotten dressed at the motel and took a cab to the cemetery. I was wearing a black dress. It was very bright out and I had to squint at the coffin as the preacher said his words. I had seemed to run out of tears aside from a few that dropped as the mourners pressed forward to place flowers on the casket. I found myself going past as well and as I placed my flower I whispered to myself and to my mother that I loved her and I would never forget her. Then I started crying. Softly. Quietly. I circled back to my place beside Jake and he put his arm around me as the coffin was lowered. I stood there and watched. I could feel the hot sun of Arizona baking the back of my dress. It felt so wrong. All this felt so wrong. I looked out across the cemetery. I kept waiting to see Victoria. If she had killed my mother to get me into the open, now was her chance. But she wasn't there. Either that meant she had nothing to do with this, or she was waiting for some other opportunity. I almost didn't care. I was just so fucking sad.

There were family there that I hadn't seen in a long time and I had to talk to them a little after the service. Aunts. Uncles. One of my cousins who was my age said it was really great for my boyfriend to have come all this way to support me. Jake shuffled his feet awkwardly. I told her we were just friends.

Soon I was ready to go. I looked around for my dad. He had been paying respects to family as well but now he was talking to a man in a suit who wore a police badge on his lapel. I wandered over, Jake close at my side. Dad saw me coming and introduced me to the man he was talking to.

"Hey, Bells," he said. "This is the detective in charge of your mother's murder."

He nodded at me. I looked at him.

"Do you know who killed her?"

The man glanced at my dad, as if he wasn't prepared for such a blunt question, and back at me. "Unfortunately, no," he said, "All we know is that the intruder gained access to the premises through the front door. It was completely busted off its hinges. The victims then went to investigate the noise whereupon the perpetrator…"

He trailed off. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

Busted door.

That meant the killer was strong. Maybe even vampire strong.

"No robbery?" asked Charlie.

The detective shook his head. "Nothing missing. This might seem like a silly question, but do either of you know of any enemies your ex-wife might've had? Anybody who might've wanted her dead?"

I glanced at Jake desperately. Because I knew someone who might want to hurt her. Someone who—

"No, not at all," Charlie said. "Me and my wife didn't keep much in touch and Bella's been living with me in Washington."

The detective nodded. He had a notebook out and now he jotted something and put it away. "Well, I got your number," he said to Charlie. "I'll let you know how the case proceeds."

"Thank you, detective, I'd appreciate it."

Charlie shook his hand and the detective nodded one more time.

I faded back and tugged Jake's sleeve anxiously.

"We have to check out the crime scene," I whispered. "See if you can pick up a scent."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I have to know, Jake," I said adamantly. "I have to know if this is my fault. And if it is…"

I trailed off because I didn't know. If this was my fault, if my mother had been killed because of me, I didn't think I would ever be able to forgive myself.

The wake was after the funeral but we didn't stay long. Only long enough to pay respects. Jake and Charlie weren't even family and I hadn't even been living with my mother. All of us felt like strangers. Me, most of all. I felt utterly awful. As far as I knew, it was my fault she had died. Jake said I shouldn't blame myself but it was true. There had to have been something I could've done to stop this. If only I hadn't tried to act so brave on the phone with Victoria. She had seemed so focused on me alone but maybe I had pushed her just a little too far. If only I had kept my mouth shut. Or better yet, if only I had killed her. If I had killed her back when I had the chance, maybe my mother would still be alive.

Charlie took us out for dinner that night, just the three of us. None of us ate or talked much. I was consumed in my thoughts and by now there was another emotion that was beginning to seep through the sadness. Rage. Rage at myself for allowing this to happen and rage at Victoria for doing it. I was stupid not to kill her when I had the chance, but I would not be making that mistake again. She wasn't even going to have to come looking for me. I was going to come looking for her.

Tonight.

The motel was near the airport and we only had two rooms. One for dad, one for me and Jake. Charlie didn't particularly want me to share a room with a boy, but he didn't exactly have a whole lot of money for extra motel rooms. Dad went to bed early, advising us to do the same. We told him we would and waited for about an hour until he was probably asleep before we snuck out.

The crime scene was my mom's old house. Originally she had planned to lease the place when she went to Florida with Phil but they had settled back here as soon as Phil's season was over. Jake and I walked the entire way, looking over our shoulders for any sign of danger. It occurred to me halfway there that my dad was completely defenceless back at the motel but I reminded myself that I was the main target. Victoria had only gone after my mom to draw me out. And now here I was. I wished I had my trusty blowtorch, but I hadn't wanted to take one through airport security, and all the hardware stores would be closed at this hour. Besides, I had Jake. He had a fierce frown on his face and he seemed just as determined as I was that this time would be different than the last time the three of us met.

Finally we swung into my old neighbourhood and I was assailed by strange memories. I could remember how I used to ride my bike up and down this street. Or how my mother used to drive me to school. The houses were all dark and quiet. We were the only people on the sidewalk and Jake was starting to get frustrated.

"This doesn't make any sense," he said. "If she was trying to draw you out, where is she?"

I was thinking the same thing. I looked up and down the dark road. "I don't know," I said. "Maybe she wasn't even trying to lure me out. Maybe she just wanted to hurt me. Besides, we don't even know if it was her who did it yet. We'll only know for sure after you check out the crime scene."

He nodded, still looking out. We kept walking.

The house was at the end of the block. There was yellow tape across the door and the door was propped up on its hinges. Jake and I approached furtively across the lawn, not wanting any neighbours or witnesses to see. My stomach was churning. I had been looking forward to the summer so that I could come back here and see my mother. I never thought I would be returning like this.

Jake looked left and right and then he just casually ripped off the police tape. I wasn't sure if that was a good idea, but if it made him feel like a badass, then I suppose I shouldn't complain. Next he opened the door. It was still attached by one hinge and I looked over the damage done to it with a sinking feeling. The heavy oak panels were split and the lock completely shattered. I didn't think a human was capable of that.

Jake was already sniffing into the darkness. My stomach was in knots.

"Can you smell anything?" I asked, knowing it would've been obvious right away.

His brow furrowed. "There's no trace of Victoria."

It took me a moment to process that. I had been so sure, but—

"Really?"

"Yeah," he said, sniffing again. "But…"

"What?"

He started inside, slowly and breathing deeply. I followed behind him. There was a sideboard in the corridor and a vase had been smashed. A little police evidence placard stood amid the shattered pottery.

"There was definitely a vampire here," Jake whispered. "One I've never met before."

His voice had gone low and cautious. I started to feel afraid.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Jake flipped on the hallway light. There were large spatters of dried blood on the walls and floor. I hadn't seen them with the light off. I covered my mouth with my hand as my eyes began to swim.

"Oh my god," I whimpered, imagining what my mother must've gone through in her final moments.

Jake glanced at me but he didn't know what to say. I pushed past him further into the house.

What had happened here? My mind was a mess. There were no traces of Victoria but Jake said a vampire was definitely here. I didn't understand. What were the chances that some random vampire out there had targeted my mother out of all the people in Phoenix? Was the universe really that cruel?

I was going past my old bedroom and something made me stop. Jake was still examining the murder scene in the hall. I pushed open the door and looked inside. It was dark. Almost pitch black aside from the pale silhouette of streetlight in the window. My mom had kept the room exactly how I had left it when I went to live in Forks. I could see the outline of old posters on the walls. My dresser. My wardrobe. My bed. I looked at the bed and frowned as I noticed a murky black shape there that—

Sat up.

I screamed and almost fell over backwards. Someone had been laying in my bed. Jake came running and quickly put his body in front of mine.

"Bella! What—?"

Then he too saw the shadowy figure and went silent in shock. I was staring, wide-eyed, and I watched as the figure swung its legs over the edge of the bed and reached for the bedside lamp. The light snapped on and revealed a man with a pale face and a pale smile and a pale blonde ponytail. A man I recognized all too well. A man who was supposed to be dead.

"Hi there," he said. "Remember me?"

I did.

It was James.

—

**AN:** **Plot twist, lol. I needed some kind of real villain, since Vicky's going to transition into an anti-hero eventually, and rather than create my own character, I figured I'd retcon James into the story. I think it could be very interesting, especially given his relationship to Victoria. I feel bad about Bella's mom, though. Hope it wasn't too heavy. :(**


	8. Chapter 8

—

Chapter 8:

—

"Yeah," I said. "I remember you."

He smiled as if he was pleased, still sitting there on my old bed. He must've seen us on our way to the house and come in here to wait. More of his creepy mind games. Jake was still blocking my body with his own and he didn't take his eyes from the vampire on the bed.

"Who is this guy?" he asked me.

"His name is James," I said. "He was in a coven with Victoria. He's supposed to be dead. The Cullens killed him the last time he came for me."

"That's correct," James said, and rose from the bed.

He rose very casually, very innocuously, and yet the movement gave me a jolt of terror. Because I knew how suddenly vampires could move when they wanted. Jake also went very tense beside me. James dusted his hands together and smiled.

"But luckily for me," he went on, "your friends were a little careless in disposing of my…remains."

He spoke without any anger or resentment, just a calm sense of happenstance, as if he'd caught a lucky break and was determined to make the most of it. I glared at him and said:

"Did you kill my mother?"

He moved very slightly, almost a shrug. "I warned you I would," he said. "A long time ago. I told you to come to that ballet studio alone, or I would kill your mother. Now I have. Consider it the price of your defiance."

Rage and sadness began to well up through my stomach. My eyes filled with tears. "You sick bastard."

Jake raised an arm to hold me back. As if he thought I might attack a vampire with my bare hands. It was probably just instinctual of him. James smiled at the gesture.

"I've been waiting for an opportunity to take you alone, but you seem to have a very determined shadow," he said, regarding Jake with some inquisitiveness. He could probably smell something odd—and foul—about Jake's scent, but he didn't seem to be aware of what the scent implied. "So," he said to Jake. "Are you her boyfriend, here to comfort her in her hour of grief?"

"Something like that," Jake said, glaring at the vampire. I had taken hold of his arm and I could feel him beginning to tremble. His skin was as taut as a snaredrum, as if he was about to burst out of it, and I carefully released him.

James smiled at him.

"Do you have any idea what you've gotten yourself into, boy?" he asked.

"Yeah," Jake growled. "Do you?"

Then suddenly there was a rip of clothes as he leapt at the vampire and shifted instantly into wolf form. James had clearly had no idea what Jake really was. He barely got his hands up to keep Jake from ripping out his throat with his teeth.

They fell over backwards onto my bed. I retreated into the doorway, cringing in fright at the ferocious growls and snarls that were coming from both of them. Jake in his wolf form was as big as a horse and he seem to fill the entirety of my tiny bedroom. He had his jaws clamped on James's forearm and was trying to gnaw it off. James beat him about the muzzle with a balled fist. Jake released the arm and snapped at his face. They scrambled and thrashed. One of Jake's hind legs knocked over the bedside lamp. The lamp rolled across the carpet and lay there casting an uplight on the melee tearing through my old bedroom, vampire and wolf, their writhing shadows twisting across the floral wallpaper like a gothic shadowshow.

I didn't know what to do. I knew that one on one, vampires were generally more powerful than wolves, but I knew how motivated Jake was. More than that, he was my only hope. I watched them with my heart in my throat and my heart sank as a sharp yelp stabbed at my chest. Jake was hurt. I didn't know how it happened. It was too fast to see. But suddenly there was blood and a grin on James's mouth. Jake backed off a second, growling, and leapt again. He collided into James and James collided into the mirror, breaking it and shattering glass on the floor. Jake had him pinned down but James was holding his muzzle closed. Jake was visibly weakening, and as I was watching desperately, his amber eyes found mine and he whimpered at me in an imploring way. It felt like he was telling me to run.

So I did.

I backed into the hallway and turned and sprinted for the front door. Behind me I could hear the sounds of the battle, glass breaking, furniture smashing. I burst through the front door with my shoulder, taking it off its last hinge, and then stopped.

What now?

I looked up and down the street. A house across the road had its lights on and I saw the curtains move in the front room, as if someone was peeking out tentatively. They probably heard the commotion. But where do I go now? If Jake lost the fight, I was as good as dead too. I couldn't run all the way back to the rest of the wolf pack in Forks and Alice would see none of this with Jake involved. Should I go back inside? Maybe I could at least distract James.

But then I saw the car in the driveway. It was mom's car. Her old car. I sprinted at it and fumbled with the door handle. It was unlocked. Mom always had the worst memory for locking the car. I climbed inside, fighting back tears of terror, and opened the glovebox. The keys where there, just as mom had always left them. There were a bunch of keys on the keyring and I almost dropped them into my lap as I scrabbled for the right one. I finally found it and stuck it into the ignition when there was a loud crash from the house.

Jake had been thrown through the livingroom window. His fur was wet with blood and one of his legs was snapped the wrong way. He was moving, but only feebly. I sobbed in concern and almost got out of the car to check on him but then James emerged from the window as well. He came climbing out, as casual as a catburglar, and approached Jake's prone form where it struggled in the grass. I sobbed again and twisted the key in the ignition. The engine rumbled to life and James turned around, again very casually, as if to simply see what was going on. I stomped down on the pedal and backed into the street before spinning the wheel around and peeling away in a screech of rubber.

I was terrified that James was going to chase me but his form only grew small in the rearview. I went as fast as I could, speeding out of the neighbourhood and onto the main road, driving with practically one hand because of the cast. Already I was lost. I had grown up in Phoenix, but I never really started to drive until after I moved to Forks. I only had a dim recollection of where I was and no idea of how to get back to the motel. And even if I did get back, what then? What about Jake? Was he okay? Why didn't James come after me? Was he going to finish off Jake? The road was almost empty and I wiped my eyes and just continued driving. This was so hopeless. Maybe I should just give up. Maybe—

James appeared in the road.

Instantly, as if he had teleported. His smiling face washed up in the headlights and there were three red lines on his pale cheek from a claw swipe. He was about twenty feet ahead and I quickly stomped on the break before I could hit him. I still remembered when Edward had blocked a van with his body. It had dented the van, but not Edward. Mowing down James wasn't an option. It would probably just kill me instead. So I stomped on the brake pedal with both feet and slammed back into the carseat as the tires bit into the asphalt. The car slowly screeched to a halt and came to rest only a few feet from James. He hadn't moved an inch.

For a second I was in shock. I sat there and stared out the windshield. At this man who was supposed to be dead. Who had killed my mother. Who was going to kill me. He smiled and watched the emotion play over my face and finally I snapped out of it with a sob and ripped open the door and lurched out into the street.

He came around the hood of the car slowly and I stumbled backwards away from him. I tripped on the curb and fell onto the sidewalk. He was still coming toward me, slowly and smiling like someone who maybe wanted to help me up first before killing me. I got up and scrambled backwards. I spun around. I was in the parking lot of a fast food joint. A burger place. Dimly I remembered me and mom eating here sometimes when I was younger. There was bright light in the plateglass windows and there were people inside. A few late night snackers at scattered tables. None of them seemed to have noticed the near collision in the street but it wouldn't have mattered if they did. There was no police or ambulance in the world that could help me.

But there were people inside and maybe nothing would happen to me in public. So I dashed for the front door and went in, trying to appear as calm as much as possible. I didn't want to draw attention. The interior was warm and there was a rich smell of hamburgers. I wandered closer to the window, sniffing and wiping my nose with my sleeve. James was making his way across the parking lot, glancing up at the neon sign casually, like a man who wanted nothing more than a happy meal on his way home.

I was praying that he wouldn't come in but that looked exactly like what he was doing. I clawed at my pockets for my phone and called Jake. It rang. I jiggled on the spot, trying not to cry. He wasn't answering. Oh, Jake. Where are you? You said you would protect me. The call went to voice mail and I look down at the screen helplessly. There was no one else to call. Edward was gone and Alice had refused to give me her number. Why did you refuse, Alice? You could've saved me. You could've—

The bell rang over the door, signalling the arrival of another patron. It was James. He came in and looked about and noticed me standing by the windows. He smiled and came over.

"Well," he said. "Nowhere left to run."

He kept a slight distance from me but I didn't find that very comforting. I cast a look at the people at the tables, the staff behind the counter, the security camera, and turned back to James. "You won't hurt me in front of all these people."

"Maybe," he said. Then leaned a little closer. "But then again…what's stopping me from killing all them too?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I hadn't thought of that.

James smiled and straightened up. "But you're right," he said. "Mass murder generally draws the wrong kind of attention. Vampires typically prefer to avoid any kind of investigation at all. Even that business with your mother was rather risky."

I blinked back tears. "Where's Jake?"

"Where I left him."

"Did you kill him?"

He shrugged noncommittally. "I honestly have no idea," he said. "His blood is disgusting to me so I took no notice. I should've known he wasn't what he seemed from his scent. Without Victoria, my survival instincts must be a little rusty."

Something clicked in my chest.

Victoria.

Victoria didn't kill my mother. She wasn't even here. James was working alone. But Victoria thought he was dead. Which meant—

"Victoria doesn't know you're alive?" I asked.

James shook his head as if it wasn't something he'd given much thought to. "I doubt it. I was going to track her down, but…I had some unfinished business to conduct first."

That last part was supposed to be menacing but I had drifted off. It was no rational thought, just a feeling, but my chest had begun to heave as hope and adrenaline started to fill my veins.

_Victoria. _

I was still clutching my phone in my hand and I quickly looked down and fumbled with my thumbs. James smiled as if he thought it was amusing that I was still up to something.

"Who are you calling?" he asked.

I put the phone to my ear. It rang.

"Whoever it is," he went on, "they won't get here in time. In less than a minute, I'm going to drag you outside and leave your broken body in a dumpster."

I glared at him as the phone continued to ring.

_Please answer the phone, oh please just—_

She answered.

"Ms Swan," Victoria practically cooed over the phone. "How nice to hear from—"

"Victoria, please," I interrupted. "I need your help."

James's eyebrows rose inquisitively at Victoria's name. Victoria went silent. At both my words and my frightened tone. After a moment she said:

"Help?"

"Yes. I'm in Phoenix. There's another vampire here. He's going to kill me. He's stalking me right now."

I said all this staring at James. James didn't seem much alarmed. He even seemed to think it was funny. His vampire hearing could probably hear what Victoria was saying on the other end of the phone but Victoria had gone completely silent.

"Victoria?" I said.

Her voice came back cautious and slightly suspicious. "And who is this mystery attacker? Why is he targeting you of all people?"

James smirked, as if to challenge me to tell her. But I didn't want to complicate things and I was much more focused on the note of possessiveness in her voice that suggested she didn't relish the idea of anyone stealing her prey.

"It doesn't matter," I said. "I just need your help."

"Why my help? Why call me? You already know how badly I want you dead."

"You don't want me dead, Victoria. You want to kill me yourself. You'll never get that chance if this guy kills me first."

"That's true, but there's a risk in confronting any fellow vampire. For that matter, how do I know this isn't a trap? Surely you must be aware your entire plea sounds very suspicious."

I shook my head, finally turning away from James. "It's not a trap," I said earnestly into the phone. "I really need your help. Please, Victoria. If you don't get here right now, I'm going to be gone forever. I know how badly you want me…"

I even put a bit of huskiness in my voice. As if this time it was my turn to seduce her. It took her a moment to speak again and when she did I could tell from her tone that she was tentatively excited.

"Do you even realize what you're saying, Ms Swan? Why trade one killer for another?"

"Because I don't believe you'd kill me. I believe I could beg my way out of it."

"You'd be mistaken."

"I don't care. I'd rather be killed by you than anyone else anyway. Just please, Victoria. Don't let me die like this."

I turned back to James. His brow was furrowed as if he was mildly puzzled at our interaction. But he still didn't seem at all alarmed. My heart was throbbing, waiting for Victoria's answer, and finally she said:

"Very well, text me your location and I'll be there momentarily."

Then she hung up.

I wasn't sure if James would let me text, but he didn't stop me as I went over to the counter to get the address off one of the menus. James followed behind me and watched over my shoulder as I typed it into the phone and hit send. I turned to him and glared, as if my plan wasn't complete suicide.

"Victoria's gonna be here any minute," I said.

He smiled at the news. "And I'm sure it'll be a joyful reunion. I notice how you never mentioned my name. If Victoria has selected you as prey, it's possible she would save you from some random nomad, but I seriously doubt she would protect you from me. More likely she would simply share."

My stomach turned at the sickening truth of that but it was my only hope. "We'll see," I said, trying not to let my voice crack.

James chuckled softly and shook his head. "I was hoping you'd call your Cullen friends. I have a grudge against them that won't be going away any time soon. Against Alice in particular. Vicious little bitch ripped off my head."

As he spoke, he touched his neck. There was a hairline scar there in his pale skin from where he had been decapitated months ago. Vampires truly had scary powers of regeneration. I was glaring at him for how he had spoken about Alice and he smiled.

"You, Alice, and Victoria are the only three to have ever escaped me," he said. "Victoria's life has already been claimed—albeit unconventionally—and yours will be extinguished soon enough. The only one left will be Alice. I don't suppose you know where I can find her?"

I didn't answer. I hadn't betrayed Alice to Victoria and I sure as fuck wasn't going to betray her to James.

Meanwhile, we were still standing at the counter and a chubby waitress finally came over and beamed at us brightly. "Hi, can I get you anything?"

The interruption broke the tension. James smiled at me and turned the smile to the waitress.

"Just a couple sodas, thank you," he said.

"Diet," I added in a bitter mutter.

The waitress nodded happily and went to get our order.

The following hour was the longest hour of my life. James and I took a table at the window where we could watch for Victoria. He told me that it shouldn't take long for her to get here. Vampires can cross the country in a matter of hours on foot. I didn't answer him, I just sipped my soda. It was watered down and full of ice. But cold. If my stomach wasn't churning so badly, I might've ordered a last meal as well.

God, this was such a bad plan. What the fuck had I been thinking? The entire plan was predicated on the assumption that Victoria wanted to kill me so badly that she would protect me from another vampire in order to do so herself. After her phone call last week, it might've been possible—if the vampire had been any vampire other than her recently revived mate James. I guess that had never occurred to me when I made the call. After all, the only reason Victoria wanted to kill me in the first place was to avenge James because she loved him so much. So what was going to happen when she realized he was alive? Would her desire for my blood be strong enough to trump her feelings for him? Or would she happily join him in my evisceration?

I didn't know, but there was a third possibility as well. Victoria's feelings for James ran deep, but did James return those feelings to the same extent? I didn't think so. He hadn't even called her to let her know he was alive. The only thing that mattered to James was the hunt. Me. Another woman, in other words. That probably wasn't gonna sit well with Victoria. If it were me, I'd be hurt, angry, a little humiliated. And combine that with her overwhelming "passion" for me, and maybe—just maybe—I had a chance.

I rose from the table abruptly. James looked at me.

"I have to go to the bathroom," I said.

He nodded but I wasn't really asking permission.

The restrooms where in the back. I peed and washed my hands. Then I turned off the tap and looked into the mirror. There was nobody else in the restroom. Only me and my reflection. My face was pale and drawn, my eyes red. It was very late and I was very tired. My head was blank and the hopelessness was like a stone in my stomach. I dried my hands with some papertowel and looked around the restroom. There was a small window in the upper wall. It didn't look like it opened and I wouldn't have fit through if it did. I threw away the towel and went back out into the restaurant.

The first thing I saw was Victoria through the plateglass window. She was standing out in the parking lot. Her hair was dark red under the streetlamps and she was wearing a black eyepatch over one eye. The other eye was wide and lost and staring through the window.

At James.

James had seen her too and now he saw me as well. He rose from the table and went over to the counter to pay for the drinks. He wasn't in any hurry. Victoria hadn't moved from the window but now she was looking at me. I looked back. Neither of us had much expression. James came back over, tucking his wallet into his pocket.

"Well?" he said. "Shall we?"

He gestured toward the exit. I started toward it.

It was cold outside and quiet. Victoria watched us as we approached and her eye tightened as she got a closer look at her mate. As if she wasn't quite sure how to feel. Surprisingly, I noticed that her eye was yellow, not red. Perhaps she hadn't fed since that emergency deer she had found when she was injured.

James and I stopped a short distance from her. She hardly even seemed to register I was there.

"James?" she whispered, as if she wasn't sure if it could be him. "You're alive?"

He smiled. That seemed to be enough for her. She dashed at him and threw her arms around his neck. My heart sank at the display. So much for my plan. I guess I was going to die anyway. The force of the hug spun them around so that I could see James's face. Victoria had buried her face into the crook of his neck but he only held her loosely and smirked at me over her shoulder as if to gloat.

I was just about to take my chances with running when Victoria broke free from the hug abruptly and stared at him as if she'd seen a ghost.

"But how?" she gasped. "How are you still alive?"

James shook his head to brush it off. "That's not important right now. What's important is for us to conclude a long overdue hunt."

Victoria looked at me and now I could see the doubt come into her face, the hurt, the uncertainty—the anger. "I don't understand," she said. "You were dead, James. You were dead for months. I almost went crazy without you. And this…" She gestured at me and swung her smouldering yellow eye back to James. "This is who you come see _first_?!"

James sighed and glanced at me and now it was my turn to gloat a little with a smirk.

—


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Glad you guys loved the eyepatch, lol. I was a little nervous about it. ;)**

—

Chapter 9:

—

James turned back to Victoria, a little wearily, as if she had already harshed his happy-hunt buzz. "Now isn't the time, Victoria," he said. "Let's focus on business shall we?"

Victoria shook her head in disbelief, still staring at him. I watched them, nibbling my lip. The three of us were standing almost directly in the center of the parking lot, the two vampires cast in an ethereal florescent glow from the streetlamps.

"I can't believe you," Victoria said. "All this time…and you let me believe you were dead? How could you, James? Do you have any idea how badly I was hurting?"

"It couldn't have been as bad as being dismembered and half-incinerated by a rival coven of vampires."

Victoria didn't seem to appreciate his witty retort, and in fairness, it did trivialize her feelings—which was rarely a good tactic when dealing with a hurt and confused girlfriend. Victoria's one eye blinked—her yellow eye—and she shook her head sadly.

"No," she said. "It was worse. And in case you haven't noticed, I've been injured as well."

She lifted the eyepatch she was wearing and my stomach went queasy. Underneath was nothing but a pink raw hole. I suppose an eye was a little too intricate even for vampire powers to regenerate.

James finally lost his smile, but he didn't seem all that concerned or worried about her. He even frowned. At first I thought it was protectiveness over his mate, but I'm not sure it was even that.

"What happened?" he demanded.

Victoria swung her remaining eye to me bitterly and tossed her chin.

"Her," she said.

James raised his eyebrows and looked at me. "_You_?"

"I got her with a blowtorch," I admitted cautiously.

Vampires were notoriously territorial over their mates—Victoria's drive for vengeance was clear proof—but James only snorted. He looked at me. He looked at Victoria. A car had entered the parking lot and the driver honked his horn for us to move. None of us did and the driver went around. Victoria was lowering her eyepatch self-consciously and James just shook his head.

"And I thought my own survival instincts were under par lately," he said. "What's wrong with you, Victoria? How could you possibly let this pathetic human do that to you?"

"I wasn't thinking clearly," she muttered.

"No, and you certainly aren't thinking clearly now, either," James went on. "You know, our partnership was always exactly that: a partnership. With my tracking instincts and your survival instincts, we were virtually unstoppable. And now look at you. You show up here, manipulated by prey into coming to her rescue, injured, deformed, and hurling petty accusations at me like a jealous teenager."

Victoria's eye tightened in thinly withheld fury. Even I was somewhat stunned at James's callousness. He had insulted her feelings, her talents, and her physical appearance of all things, in one swift fit of asshole-ishness. I watched Victoria, praying she was as hurt and angry as she looked, and I was encouraged by her next words.

"How dare you," she whispered.

But James was getting tired of relationship talk. "We'll talk about this later," he snapped. "For now let's just dispose of the girl. I had planned to take my time with her, but I'm not so much in a playful mood anymore, thanks to you."

That seemed to infuriate Victoria even more—but not as much as when James grabbed my arm.

His fingers dug into my bicep and something strange passed over Victoria's face that wiped away all the hurt and confusion and left nothing but a cold mask of possessiveness. Until now she had hardly noticed me, but she noticed me now, and all in an instant she seemed to remember how badly she wanted me.

"Wait," I said, struggling against James's grip. "Victoria. Victoria, please—"

James dug his fingers tighter, tight enough to make me cry out in pain. "Enough games, Ms Swan. Victoria belongs to me. She's not going to do anything you say."

"Wait, don't—"

James slapped me.

If he had wanted to, he probably could've knocked my head clean off my shoulders, but this was more of a slap to make me settle down. It did, by half knocking me out. My head rolled and my eyes went blurry. My body went slack. I would've fell if he hadn't been gripping my arm so tightly. When my sight came back, I saw Victoria seething at James.

"You fucking bastard," she said.

"What did you say?"

"You let her go right now."

James's lip curled in disgust at his estranged mate and he lifted his hand to smack Victoria as well. I could see it coming, and the sight filled me with so much rage and protectiveness, that I snatched my arm away from him and spat in his face.

The spit was red.

Oh god.

The inside of my mouth must've been busted open. What happened next was only a blur. The scent of fresh blood sent them both into a frenzy. In that one split second, I was sure I was going to die. That they were going to rip me to shreds right there in the parking lot and then maybe arrange some sessions with a therapist to repair their relationship. But I didn't die. There was a blur and a snarl and suddenly James's face was right in front of mine with gnashing teeth that gleamed with venom. He would've killed me—

—if Victoria hadn't grabbed his throat.

It all happened in one savage instant. Victoria snatched her lover's face into hers by the throat and glared into his eyes.

"She's _mine_," she growled.

James glared back, seething. I watched, breathlessly. The three of us stood there like that, with Victoria's hand around James's throat, until a voice called out across the parking lot.

"Hey, what's going on over there?"

It was the guy who'd driven his car around us earlier. He had gotten out of his car, leaving the door open, and now he was approaching us with a cautious frown, a fat guy with a beard. The interruption was enough to snap them out of their frenzy. Victoria slowly let go of James's throat. James even forced a smile for the good samaritan, although he still looked like he'd prefer to kill him.

"Everything's fine, thank you," he said, wiping the spit off face with his sleeve.

The man didn't seem convinced. He looked at me, at how frightened I was. He looked at the adults. I wanted to yell for him to run but I thought he had a better chance at not getting killed if the situation could simply be brushed off. I didn't know how much he had seen but he must've seen Victoria choking James because it was James that he spoke to.

"This woman giving you trouble, buddy? You want me to call the cops?"

I had a sickening feeling. Thank you anti-feminism for spreading awareness that men can be victims of domestic abuse too. Only this time it had been me who got hit first and Victoria was only defending me. James shook his head, his patience completely worn out, and spared his whiteknight one of his creepy smiles.

"You should've just minded your own business," he said, and then lunged at him.

The man didn't stand a chance. He fell backwards with James on top of him. I didn't see exactly what happened but there was a scream and a sudden fountain of blood that erupted into the air all red and bright in the fluorescent lights of the parking lot.

Victoria's eye had gone completely black and dilated at the scent but she didn't seem to have much difficulty controlling herself. Instead she grabbed my arm, even more roughly than James had, and dragged me over to the dead man's car. The door was still open and the keys were still in the ignition. Victoria threw me in and climbed behind the wheel and turned the key. Through the windshield she looked at James, hulked over the corpse like a zombie with a pool of blood spreading around them, and then she hit the gas and peeled out of the parking lot. I spun around to look out the back and the last thing I saw was people inside the fast food place flocking to the plateglass windows, some with cellphones out, to watch the horror in the parking lot.

Victoria drove in utter silence. I could almost hear her teeth grinding. I couldn't even imagine what was going through her head, but then again, I had no idea what was going through mine either. Was I saved? Or was my death only delayed?

I had no idea and I couldn't think straight. I kept turning around and looking out the windows, terrified that James was going to come after us. It took a long time before I could rationalize that he probably wouldn't. Victoria was in unstable mood, to say the least, and the sun would be up soon. Not to mention he'd just fed, which would likely take the edge off his appetite for me. At least for the moment. So, yeah. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I really was safe for now. Safe from James, at least. But Victoria?

I glanced at her as she drove. The eyepatch was on the other side and her visible eye was fixed and unblinking, staring out the windshield. And yellow. How did it get yellow? There had to be some kind of explanation for that. I couldn't imagine Victoria willingly choosing a vegetarian lifestyle like the Cullens. She had already made it abundantly clear to me that she had very little respect for human life, if any at all. But for her eye to turn yellow like that, she would've had to have fed from animals a few times, enough to dilute her drive for human blood, or else there's no way she would've been able to restrain herself like she did in the parking lot. Especially when it came to my blood when I had spat on James. It had sent her into a frenzy, sure. But it was a frenzy of protectiveness. It was almost exactly how Edward had protected me when Jasper snapped over my papercut. Only Victoria didn't protect me because she loved me. She just wanted to save me for herself.

Or did she? After all, James was alive. Therefore conventional wisdom would suggest that there was no longer any need to avenge him. He was even kind of a dick, which made him even less worthy of vengeance. But then again, it's not like vengeance was Victoria's only reason to kill me. Vampires were compulsive about their prey. They never liked to let them go. Especially one like me, who was actually proving to be somewhat of a challenge. Not only had I fought back, I had taken her eye. And like the old expression said: an eye for an eye. She could always avenge that, and honestly, I think I'd rather take death than painful disfigurement.

By now I became aware that we were headed out of town. We had left behind the city until we were coasting at high speeds along the highway that led out into the Arizona desert. It made me nervous. My dad was back there in Phoenix. Did James know about him? Was he in danger? And Jake. What about Jake? James said he didn't kill him, but did Jake get out of there? I glanced wildly out the window. The dust of the desert was blue in the moonlight, like the surface of the moon. There was nothing out there. Just rocks and desert. I turned back to Victoria. Until now I had been too terrified to speak, but now I had no choice.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

She didn't answer. Maybe she didn't even know herself. She just continued staring out the windshield at the dark and endless road before us. I swallowed and tried again.

"Victoria? We have to go back. Jake's hurt. And my dad…"

Suddenly she stomped on the brake. The car wobbled and skidded to the side of the road and before it even stopped she turned and kicked open the door. The door flew off and skidded across the road.

"Victoria?! Victoria, what are you—"

She had gotten out of the car and now she reached back inside and grabbed my hair. I wasn't wearing a seatbelt and I started screaming as she dragged me over the gearshift and out into the road.

"No! Stop it! Please!"

Victoria said nothing. She only growled under her breath, as if lugging me was a strain. I came out of the car twisting and writhing with my hair coming out at the roots. Victoria threw me down and I scrabbled backwards across the asphalt.

"Victoria," I pleaded. "Victoria, please."

I was beginning to cry, sitting in the road and staring up at this fierce redhead who was approaching me with one eye covered in a black patch and the other eye so dilated it was equally opaque and black. Behind her I could see the stars, bright and boundless in the clear desert sky.

"Victoria, don't. Victoria—"

She reached and grabbed me and wrenched me to my feet. I sobbed in pain and tried to bash her with the cast on my arm. It didn't faze her. Her hand was clenched in my hair and her eye was wild.

"Is this what you want?" she hissed. "You wanted me to kill you instead?"

"Victoria, please. Please don't—"

She wrenched my head back and gripped my exposed throat with her other hand. "You stupid little bitch," she said. "You did this. Everything is your—"

—_fault_.

That was her unspoken word but she didn't get to say it. I used one final burst of energy to lift on my toes and press my lips onto hers.

I don't know why I did it. It was just instinct. My eyes fell closed and in that kiss I felt everything I needed to feel. Serenity. Surrender. Sweetness. I had no idea what affect it would have on her, but it didn't matter, because for that one moment, I didn't have to be afraid anymore or hurt or confused. In that one moment I was giving in to something more powerful than myself, more powerful than the will to live, more powerful than the fear of death.

And Victoria seemed to feel it as well. Her grip in my hair loosened. The hand at my throat fell away. My own hand came up to her face and caressed the coolness there. It was the first time I had ever kissed a girl. A woman. A vampire who wanted to kill me. The sensations that over took my body were as indescribable as they were alien. Lightness. Dizziness. I made a soft sound into her mouth and cupped the nape of her neck. I pressed my lips firmer. I made another sound. I lifted higher onto my toes and—

She wrenched away with a gasp. My eyes snapped open. The gasp sounded more like a sob. She stumbled a few steps away and lifted her lost yellow eye to mine. I blinked my own swimming eyes.

"Victoria, please," I said. "You don't have to do this."

She didn't answer me. Her face crinkled. She looked like she wanted to cry but wasn't able to. Finally she ripped her eye away from mine and stumbled over to the car. She stood there with her back to me, staring at the car and heaving with emotions that she had no idea how to process. James was alive. I had kissed her. Nothing in her world was the same anymore.

I took a few steps toward her and I was about to speak when a guttural yell came out of her and she lifted a fist and smashed it down onto the roof of the car. I jumped at the metallic crash. The whole left side of the car had caved in but she didn't stop there. She lifted her fist again and pounded on the car again and again, grunting and snarling with rage each time, until finally she just grabbed the car and flipped it up into the air where it revolved twice in the starlight before crashing on its roof into the desert floor.

Victoria was standing by the side of the road. There was shattered glass all around her, as shattered as her emotions. I froze halfway across the road, not knowing if it was safe. Victoria shook her head and her voice came out very quiet.

"I can't believe it," she said. "He was alive all this time. And he never… He never even…"

She trailed off. I took a step closer. My sneaker scraped across the blacktop. She must've heard it because she turned around. There was no more anger in her face. No more rage. I went closer again, slowly, like approaching an injured dog, and when I was close enough I reached to hug her tentatively. Like the kiss, I didn't really know why. I just wanted to make her feel better. Her eye went slightly suspicious but she didn't resist. My arms wrapped around her. She was cold. So cold. She didn't hug me back and after a while she shrugged out of it and started walking up the road.

I watched her go. Then I jogged to catch up and fell in beside her.

We walked for a long time in silence and after a while the anxiousness began to creep back in. We were going away from the city and my father and Jake were still back there. I didn't know what I was going to do. I was struggling to even keep myself alive. That kiss had bought me some time, but how long? God, this was so fucked up. Why won't she even speak to me? I know she was going through a lot, but so was I.

I sighed and looked up at the sky. So many stars. In the city there were hardly any. Out here in the desert, there were hundreds.

"It must be close to morning by now," I said. "I'm so tired."

Victoria didn't answer. I looked at her as we trudged along. She could've moved at superspeed if she wanted to, but she wasn't. Was it because she had no idea where to go? Or because she didn't want to leave me behind?

I sighed again and, in trying to arrive at a subject of conversation, I realized I was still curious about the color of her eye.

"Why is your eye yellow?" I asked. "Have you stopped feeding from humans?"

She glanced at me. She seemed to be deciding if she should speak or not and evidently she decided in the affirmative. "When I was injured, I was forced to feed from a deer not far from the house," she said. "I found the experience more palpable than I would've thought."

"I thought animal blood is less tasty than human blood?"

"It is," she said. "But humans themselves…" She made a gesture with her hand that was dismissive and slightly disgusted. "Some of the slobs I've been forced to feed from truly test the bounds of dignity. In comparison, animals are almost an elegant alternative."

I almost smiled. I knew it wasn't likely that she'd had some kind of epiphany about the preciousness of human life, but it was kind of ironic that it was her resentment of humans that ultimately dissuaded her from them.

But that wasn't all because she spoke again, reluctantly and with a sigh.

"And to be absolutely honest," she went on, "since our last meeting I've been repelled by any scent that isn't yours."

I didn't reply for a minute. I didn't know if the tightness in my chest was fear or flattery. She hadn't looked at me as she said it but I was glad the subject of my demise had been bought up because I could really use some closure on that.

"But now you don't have to kill me, right?" I asked. "I mean, the only reason you came after me was for revenge. But James is alive. So…"

She frowned at the reminder but she still didn't look at me. Her eye was fixed in the distance and beyond the mountains there was a pale reach of dawn. I waited to see if she would say anything, the anxiety welling in my stomach, and then I went on.

"Victoria, please," I said. "I'm losing my fucking mind with all this. Just please tell me you don't want to kill me anymore. I mean, what's the point? What did I ever do to you? And now you don't even feed from humans anymore. Please, just…"

Victoria still didn't look at me but she did lower her eye to the road. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

By now her selfishness was beginning to hurt. My eyes filled with tears and I fought to keep my voice strong. "What about me?" I said. "What am I supposed to do? My mother's dead. My boyfriend left me. Alice left me. Jake almost got killed twice because of me. And in the end, I'm probably gonna die too. Either because of you or James. So what about me? How about some fucking sympathy for _me?"_

She finally glanced at me. I stopped walking.

"Look," I said, wiping my eyes to erase the sign of weakness. "I know it must hurt that James never told you he was alive. But I told you from the beginning. He's a scumbag. He doesn't love you like you love him. He was only using you."

"Stop," Victoria said.

But I didn't.

"He even told me right to my face," I went on. "He said the only reason he even hooked up with you was for your gift and because he couldn't stand the thought of letting you get away. I guess he really did claim your life, as long as you're so pathetically obsessed with him."

Victoria took a step toward me, her face twisting in anger. "I said stop," she growled. "You know nothing about my relationship with James."

She was getting mad again, but I didn't care. I didn't care if it sabotaged my chances to live, because I didn't want to live like that. So I forced my face into a glare and told her exactly what I thought.

"You're right," I said. "I don't. But he's a pig and I _know_ you deserve better."

That seemed to take her by surprise. It kind of took me by surprise as well. I'm pretty sure I had intended to say something more insulting than that.

Either way, it was a strange thing to say to an evil vampire murderer, so I felt I needed to explain myself so that I didn't seem totally stupid.

"Look," I said, taking a moment to try and form something coherent. "This is crazy, but I don't think you're a bad person, Victoria. I think you're just misguided. You could change if you wanted."

She rolled her eye and looked away. I went on imploringly.

"I'm serious," I said. "You already said you don't mind feeding from animals. And if you could do that, maybe you could have a real life. And find a real mate. Someone who isn't just using you. Someone who loves you for more than just your gift. Someone who just really likes you and wants to be with you. Someone like…"

_Me._

The thought came to me in a subtle revelation, but I didn't dare say it out loud. It didn't even make sense. Even though I did feel something very strange and very raw for this beautiful redhead, it couldn't possibly mean that I wanted to be with her. But whatever it was, she seemed to see it in my eyes. Her face had been slowly softening as I spoke. If she could've blushed, she might of. I definitely was. I could feel the heat spreading across my face. I went silent and decided to wait for her to speak. There was nothing else I could say. Everything else was up to her.

Yet she didn't reply. Not for a long moment. She was looking down at the road and after a while she looked up. She opened her mouth to speak and—

Suddenly closed it again. She was looking off toward the horizon. As if she'd heard something in the distance. My heart started racing. When vampires get that look, it means something bad is about to happen. I followed her gaze with my eyes but at first I couldn't see anything. Just a cloud of dust that was rising off the desert into the nightsky. Then I realized it was the dust that she was looking at. The dust meant there was something moving out there. Moving fast enough to stir up an entire trail of dust. I looked at Victoria and back at the dust and I was about to ask what it was when suddenly there was a vicious suck of wind that knocked me off my feet.

I landed on my butt in a quick jab of spinal pain. As if I hadn't suffered enough tonight. When I looked up, I saw something had come screaming across the desert and tackled Victoria.

A vampire.

James?!

But no, it wasn't James. I could see that right away. Victoria had been tackled to the ground and together with her attacker they skidded and rolled at least twenty feet down the road from the force of the collision. I scrambled to my feet and ran toward them. As I got closer, I stumbled to a stop in disbelief. Victoria was facedown into the blacktop and her attacker was pinning her down by straddling her back, snarling and wrenching her head to try and twist it off. In the moonlight, I could see the other vampire very clearly, and it was a vampire I could never forget.

Alice.

My heart split in conflict. She had finally come to save me right when I wasn't sure I needed to be saved. Without thinking, I jogged another step forward and cried out.

"Alice, stop!"

—

**AN: Lol. I've been pretty relentless with the cliffhangers lately, haven't I? Good thing I update fast. This chapter had a couple big things. The kiss, and of course, Alice. The kiss turned out pretty well, I think. I love that kind of surrendering passion. As for Alice, well, I know some of you might be a little miffed at her interference. I'd been trying to keep her away for as long as possible in order to build anticipation, but it's having the opposite effect on you guys. Most of you want her to just stay away and leave Bella with Vicky, lol. But don't worry, I've got a few things in store for all of them. It's time to finally get the triangle going. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

—

Chapter 10:

—

My shout was enough to cause Alice to hesitate and look up before she could get a good grip on Victoria's head. And the hesitation was enough to allow Victoria to buck her off like a wild bull. It happened in a flash. They were back on their feet and there was another blurred collision and then suddenly they sprang apart and froze a few feet away from each other in a seething deadlock, neither moving even an inch for fear of leaving an opening. I took advantage of the stale mate to cry out again.

"Alice, what are you doing?!"

Alice didn't turn or look at me. They stood there like statues, scowling at each other across that small space of desert, their clothes coated in dust and dust swirling all around them in the moonlight like a supernatural mist. Alice replied without taking her eyes off the other woman.

"I'm here to save you, Bella," she said. "Don't worry, it's going to be okay."

"But I was fine! Nothing was happening!"

"You don't understand, Bella. She was going to kill you. I saw it."

"But…"

I trailed off, trying not to panic. Alice saw it. But what did she see? Did she really see Victoria attacking me? Was Victoria truly going to…?

Victoria smiled at Alice in the moonlight, the eyepatch lending her a sinister flair. "I remember you," she said. "Bella talks about you a lot. I'm glad you showed up."

"And why is that?"

Victoria's smile slipped into a snarl. "Because you and your ridiculous family killed James. Now I'm going to kill you."

I shook my head frantically. The feeling in my chest was like little pieces of my heart were being ripped away. I didn't want anything to happen to either of them.

"Victoria, please," I said. "Stop this."

"Shut up," she said without looking at me. "This little bitch killed James."

"But James isn't dead!"

Alice gasped and turned to me in disbelief. She obviously hadn't known. She could see the franticness in my face and her voice barely came out above a whisper.

"What?"

She had only let her guard down for a second, but that was enough for Victoria. A snarl came out of the redhead and in a flash she leapt across the space between them like a tiger and tackled Alice to the ground.

This time it was Victoria with the advantage. They scrabbled in the desert floor, sending up another cloud of pale dust, and they came up with Victoria's legs wrapped around Alice's body from behind and Victoria's arm wrapped under Alice's chin like a chokehold. Only she wasn't trying to choke her.

She was trying to tear off her head.

Tears filled my eyes and I stumbled forward again as I screamed out in fear:

"Victoria, no!"

Victoria didn't stop, but she at least paused. Alice was making small strangling sounds that scared me deep in my soul. Vampires didn't breathe, but her oesophagus and voice box were being crushed.

"Victoria, please," I said, almost sobbing. "Let her go."

"Why should I?" Victoria snarled, gripping tightly with her legs around Alice's twisting form. "She killed James. She killed my _mate_!"

She punctuated the last word with a vicious twist at Alice's head. I cried out in fear and I was almost going hysterical from how scared I was that she was going to kill Alice. I had never been more scared of anything in my life. The idea that Alice—my precious Alice—could die here tonight was almost more than I could bear. I sobbed and shook my head desperately.

"But she didn't, Victoria," I said, pleading. "James is still alive. You just saw him a couple hours ago."

That hadn't seemed to have occurred to her. In the heat of the moment, she must've forgotten. She'd been so obsessed with avenging his death for so long that it still hadn't fully registered in her heart that he was still alive. And a jackass.

Victoria's grip slacked slightly as the conflict and hesitation showed on her face and suddenly Alice thrashed to life and pried the forearm from her throat and managed to get the wrist in her mouth. She bit down on it viciously and Victoria screamed and let go and suddenly they were on their feet again in a second deadlock with blood on Alice's mouth that was black in the moonlight.

Both of their chests were heaving, but it wasn't from the exercise. It was from the adrenaline and hatred and the scent of blood on the night breeze. Neither moved, each knowing now that they were evenly matched, and I watched them in an agony of anxiety.

"Please," I said, to Victoria, to Alice, to both. "Please, just…"

I trailed off in a sob. Neither looked at me but they both seemed to hear me. Their breathing slowed, their anger returning to a simmer, and it was Alice who spoke.

"Go," she said to Victoria. "Bella's staying with me."

Victoria scoffed. "I don't think so. Ms Swan belongs to me now."

"I'm not going to let you hurt her."

"I'll do whatever I want to her and you aren't going to stop me."

Their voices came to me very dimly in my exhaustion and finally I just shook my head.

"Victoria, please," I said. "Just go."

Victoria went silent. Her one eye glanced at me, just briefly. She seemed hurt that I wasn't choosing her over Alice, but what choice did I have? Victoria had her chances. I had begged for my life and pleaded with her not to hurt me and I even kissed her while she was half tearing out my hair and through all of that she had never once even promised that she wouldn't kill me.

At least Alice I would be safe.

"Please, Victoria," I said, so exhausted my voice came out calm. "If you don't go, someone's going to die. I don't want anyone to die."

Victoria snorted. She relaxed her stance a little but she didn't take her eyes off Alice. "Fine," she said. "But James never leaves a hunt incomplete. We'll be coming for you. All of you."

Then she turned and disappeared in a swirl of dust. The dust lingered in the moonlight and I noted the direction she went with a sinking heart.

Back to Phoenix.

Back to James.

I slumped and looked at Alice. She was still staring off at where her enemy had disappeared, making sure she was really gone before letting down her guard, and I watched her with strange tears welling in my eyes. Tears of joy or grief or something else altogether, I really didn't know. All I knew was that I was now safe.

Finally she turned to me, her stern expression instantly giving way to concern and sadness, and she ran across the few yards of desert between us and threw her arms around me. I sobbed in relief and hugged her back. Alice. Alice. It truly was Alice.

"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry," she was saying, squeezing me so tightly. "Are you alright? Did she hurt you?"

"No," I whispered.

"Are you sure?"

Alice let go of the hug and looked at me to inspect my face. She touched my cheek were it was swollen from the slap James had given me. The hand was almost like an ice pack.

"I'm alright," I said.

Alice's eyes were huge with concern. "I'm just glad I wasn't too late. As soon as I saw what was about to happen, I…"

I pulled my face away from her hand. Her brow furrowed.

"Bella?"

"But you _were_ too late, Alice," I said. "My mother is dead."

Her mouth fell open. I guess she hadn't known. "What do you mean?"

"James killed her," I told her. "He killed her to draw me out."

"But how is that possible? How could he possibly have survived?"

I shrugged and looked off across the desert. Sunlight was already beginning to touch the high rocks on the horizon. "I don't know. But he did. He attacked me in Phoenix. Jake had come with me to the funeral. He almost died trying to protect me."

Alice covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh god. I'm so sorry, Bella. I never saw any of that. All I saw was you and that woman in the desert. I raced here right away."

"What exactly did you see?"

"What do you mean?"

"What exactly did you see? Did you actually see me dead?"

"No, but I knew she was after you, and…"

I smiled and looked down at the desert floor. I knew it. It wasn't the most conclusive proof, but I was pretty sure Victoria hadn't been going to kill me. Then again, it's not like it mattered. Victoria was evil. And dangerous. And my feelings for her were even more dangerous. Even though I had kissed her, there was no way I could ever trust her or love her or even just…

"Bella?" came Alice's voice, soft and full of concern. "Are you okay?"

I lifted my face and looked at her. Alice. So pretty. It was almost funny. The last time she had come to see me, I was glad when she left because I was worried she was going to hurt me again. But now a little heartbreak seemed like the least of my worries.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

She didn't seem convinced, but she nodded. The morning sun was creeping across the desert and her bare hand was beginning to sparkle in the first rays of dawn. She looked at her hand and off at the mountains.

"We better get out of here," she said. "Come on, hop on my back. I'm going to take you to Alaska. We can protect you there."

"Alaska? But…"

"Don't worry about your father," she said, cutting me off gently as if she knew exactly what I was going to say. "I had a vision about him too so I sent Emmett and Jasper to guard him just in case. Soon he'll be back in Forks surrounded by wolves. He'll be fine. Your dog-friend will make some excuses for you and you can call him yourself later. Okay?"

I didn't reply. I had already lost my mother, I couldn't bear to lose my father too. Emmett and Jasper could protect him far better than I could, but it still didn't feel right to leave him. It felt wrong deep in my stomach.

Alice must've knew what I was feeling because she bobbed down a little so that she could smile up at my face cutely.

"Hey," she said.

I turned my eyes to her. They were stinging from all the crying I had done that night and I was tired to the point of passing out. She brightened her smile a notch and tilted her head.

"I know you've been through a lot," she said. "But I'm here now, and this time I'm never going away. So don't worry about anything, okay? From now on, I'm never letting you out of my sight. Nothing is ever going to hurt you again, I promise."

My lip quivered as she spoke. Tears welled in my eyes. I believed every word she said and with her smile and her prettiness and the love for her that had been nesting in my heart for so long, I just—

I sobbed and threw myself at her. My arms went around her and I held her tightly and I cried and cried into her shoulder.

"I missed you, Alice," I sobbed uncontrollably. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Bella," she whispered back. "Shh. It's okay."

It took a few minutes to cry it all out and she held me the entire time. I didn't have any words for what I was feeling but I was just so happy and grateful to have her in my life again. I had thought she was gone forever, but here she was, rubbing my back and cooing to me that it was going to be okay, that she was here now, that she was never going away again.

I sniffed and let go of her. My face was a mess. I wiped my eyes and nose, trying to get myself under control. She smiled again and put a hand on my shoulder.

"You going to be alright?"

"I think so."

"Good. Now climb onto my back. We've got a long walk."

I nodded and she turned around. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a vampire piggy-back ride. Alice always gave better ones than Edward. She was more fun.

Alice's frame was very slight but she had no trouble carrying me. I climbed onto her back and wrapped my arms around her neck and she hooked her arms under my legs. Instantly I laid my face against her and we set off, not along the road, but across the desert itself. She moved faster than a horse, taking long leaping strides across the rocks and dust that jostled me against her back. It was smoothing. The sun was almost full up by now and the dust on the desert floor was a rich orange color. I could see it go by, go by. She was moving fast enough to create a vacuum of air and in that vacuum it was cool and noisy and everything I had been through that night seemed to be sucked away behind us in the vortex, all the grief and anger and anxiety, all of it, and soon my eyes were closed as I snuggled and went limp against her jacket.

—

I woke with a gasp and the distinct impression that it was all a dream. The sensations had been strong enough to literally shake me awake. My eyes shot open and in my panic the first thing I saw was…

Alice.

Immediately, I began to calm. She was standing right there, sitting in a chair at my bedside, and she smiled at me gently as she stroked my forehead to settle me back against the pillow.

"Hey, you," she said. "Bad dreams?"

I swallowed and shook my head. I didn't seem to be fully awake yet. Dimly, I looked to my left and saw Carlisle there. The doctor. The father figure of the Cullens. He had a stethoscope around his neck and there was a blood pressure cuff around my arm. I hadn't even noticed. I frowned and went to say something but he smiled and spoke first.

"Just checking your vitals," he said. "You've been unconscious for two days."

Two days. Fuck. No wonder my head was barely working.

I squinted at the room as he took away the cuff and packed it away into his little black doctor bag. It was no room I recognized. Must be the new house they were living in in Alaska. The walls were white and the dresser was painted white as well. I could see the leaves of a tree in the window, which meant it was upstairs, and there was a breeze stirring the leaves. The window was open and the room was filled with light and fresh air.

Alice was holding my hand. I only just realized. She was still stroking my forehead too with her other hand. It made me blush but luckily she was looking across the bed at Carlisle.

"How is she?"

"She's going to be fine."

"Thank god," Alice said, turning back to me with a radiant smile touched with a certain sadness or guilt.

I didn't know how to act under such intimacy with the girl I was secretly in love with, so I tugged my hand back and tried to sit up. Alice helped me by propping a pillow up against the headboard. I noticed I was wearing a pair of fluffy pink flannel pajamas and I felt a flicker of self-consciousness.

"Who changed me?" I asked.

"Me," Alice said. Then she winked. "Don't worry, you don't have anything I haven't seen before."

I blushed again. But at least she wasn't holding my hand anymore.

Carlisle had finished packing his things into his bag and now he turned to the bed with a grave expression behind his glasses. "Bella," he said. "Before anything else, you must allow me to apologize on behalf of my family. If we had any idea of how much danger we left you in, I can assure you we would've—"

"Save it," I said, cutting him off. "I'm not interested."

Carlisle and Alice were both surprised at my brusqueness. They glanced at each other but they knew I owed them nothing, least of all politeness. Not after what happened to me. Not after what happened to my mother.

Carlisle took his bag and prepared to leave. "You're right," he said. "Apologies won't change anything. All we can hope is that we can earn your forgiveness in time."

He opened the door and turned back for a moment.

"Esme has prepared some food for you," he said. "Whenever you're ready."

Then he went out and closed the door.

Alice stayed behind. She was still sitting in the chair but she wasn't smiling anymore. She had gone very apprehensive. I was looking off at the wall and after a moment I felt her take my hand again. I turned to her and she offered me a very weak, very apologetic smile.

"I know you'll never be able to forgive me," she said, "but…"

I shook my head softly. "It's alright," I said. "I forgive you."

She blinked at me in surprise. "You do?"

I smiled, almost as weakly as she had, and gave her tiny hand a squeeze. "Of course," I said. "I love you, Alice."

There.

I said it.

It was like a huge weight off my chest. Even if she had no idea how literally I meant it, I was glad to simply say it and let her know how much I cared about her. One of the things that had hurt most when they had first abandoned me was that I knew I would never get the chance to tell her. Now I had.

Alice's lips flickered into a confused smile. She was happy to hear it too, even if she did possibly detect something else in it.

"Thank you, Bella," she said. "I'm glad you know how much I care about you. After our last meeting in Forks, I've been dying so much to see you again. I hated leaving things like that. I was so wrong. The truth is, I knew we were making such a mistake by leaving you like we did. But Edward…"

The name of my former boyfriend dimmed the mood and caused me to look about the room. As if he might materialize from the shadows.

"Is he here?" I asked.

Alice nodded sombrely. "Yes," she said. "But I haven't seen him. He heard my thoughts as soon as we got close to the house and ran away into the woods. I don't think he can bare to see you."

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Suits me."

"Bella," Alice said, only mildly chiding. "I know Edward will be the hardest one for you to forgive, but you have to at least give him a chance. He made a mistake, but all he wanted was what's best for you. Truly."

I didn't answer. The cast on my arm was laying there in the bed like a small log and I looked at it for a moment.

Red.

Alice waited, but I said nothing, and she went on anxiously. "You and Edward had something very special. I've never seen him as happy as he was with you. And now here you are again. It's not everyday fate gives you a second chance."

"I know," I said. "My mother didn't get one."

Alice slumped and realized now wasn't the time. I continued looking down at my cast. The color reminded me of Victoria. Did she really go back to James? Would James really take her back? If only she had just…

"Are you hungry?" Alice asked timidly.

I looked up and realized that I hadn't eaten in two days. I smiled at her. "Yeah."

She smiled back, happy the awkwardness was over with, and hopped to her feet. "Then come on. You should eat something."

She threw off the bedcovers for me and helped me out. I was a little wobbly on my legs and a little dizzy and I really had to pee.

"How about a bathroom?" I asked as she led me out into an upstairs corridor.

"Oh, right. I keep forgetting about human habits. Right over here. You probably want to shower and get changed as well. Wait here, I'll get you some clothes."

I had been using her elbow for support but now she let me go and went back down the corridor. I was already uneasy without her there. I waited and she was back in a literal flash. In her hands she had a small bundle of clothes with a pair of panties folded on top.

"You and Rosalie are almost the same size," she said.

"This is Rosalie's stuff?"

"Yeah, but don't worry. She'll kill me for giving them to you, not you for wearing them." Alice handed me the bundle and opened the bathroom door. "Take your time, okay?"

I looked into the bathroom and suddenly I was very anxious at separating from Alice.

"Are you going to wait here?" I asked.

Alice nodded decisively. "Right here."

I nodded to thank her, blushing slightly at my own clingyness, and went into the bathroom.

Vampires had infinite patience, but I didn't want to put it to the test, so I hurried into the shower and quickly got out again. The clothes were designer labels, jeans and a top, and I spent a shameful moment examining the pair of panties and how sexy they were. Thin, white, lace elastic. God, it was so weird being attracted to other girls. I was never going to get used to it.

Finally I got dressed and opened the door. True to her word, Alice was waiting for me.

Right there.

Smiling, she complimented me on the fit of the clothes and then she led me downstairs into the kitchen. Esme was there, taking something out of the oven, and I was somewhat flabbergasted at the veritable banquet of breakfast food she had prepared. The entire surface of the kitchen counter was covered in plates and platters of pancakes and muffins and bacon and sausages and omelette and little bottles of syrups and honey and other condiments.

Esme saw me and quickly slid the tray of biscuits she was holding onto the counter before slipping off her oven mitts hastily.

"Oh, Bella," she was saying fretfully. "I'm so sorry about everything that's happened. If we had any idea—"

The apology felt so pointless and irksome that I almost snapped at her. "I know, I know. I don't want to hear it, alright?"

She seemed as surprised as her husband had been. She glanced at Alice. Alice shook her head for her to let it go.

Rosalie was standing in the corner by some cabinets. She was just as blonde and soul-crushingly beautiful as I remembered. She had been watching the scene with her usual silent disapproval and my outburst only made her frown more. At least she was one member of the Cullen family that I didn't have to worry about apologizing and reminding me of everything I had lost. Like my mother.

Esme was still standing there, not quite knowing how to proceed, and I realized that I probably shouldn't have been so hard on her. None of this was her fault. So I made an effort to shake off my own misfortunes and act impressed at all the food she had prepared.

"Smells good," I said.

Esme knew a social lifeline when she saw one and she lunged at it. "I didn't know what you want, so I made a bit of everything," she said, and then she made gestures at the stool for me to sit. "Please, help yourself. And if there's anything else you want, please let me know."

I sat and looked for something to drink. There wasn't anything.

"Um, how about some coffee?"

"Coffee! I knew I was forgetting something important. Of course, I'll get it right away. Or how about some juice? I bought some juice as well. Orange, apple, grapefruit?"

"Orange is good," I said. "Thanks." 

Esme poured me a tall glass of chilled orange juice. I drank about half of it. Alice slipped onto the stool beside me and I smiled at her before reaching for a fork.

I started with pancakes, which were my favourite. I ate one with a bit of syrup, another with a little bit of butter. Afterwards I had some of protein—bacon and eggs—and washed it all down with a glass of chocolate milk. I hadn't eaten in two days and there was plenty of room to fill, although most of the food still went to waste. Esme told me not to worry about it and only eat what I wanted to. She loved to cook and rarely got the chance. Alice tried to make some conversation but things were very strained. They asked me about what I had been up to in Forks since they were gone, but what could I tell them? That mostly I had just struggled with depression over losing my boyfriend and realizing I had actually been in love with his sister the whole time?

Eventually the questions tapered off and soon I was finished eating. I thanked Esme and she said I was very welcome before setting about cleaning the plates. Rosalie hadn't moved from the corner the entire time. She hadn't spoken one word either. Our eyes caught as I slipped off the stool and I gave her a nod but she only looked away disdainfully. Knowing her she probably blamed me for uprooting their life and causing so much trouble. Either that or she was just mad I was wearing her clothes. It was hard to tell. She had always been a self-centred bitch, but she was very superficial as well.

Afterwards, Alice took me outside for some fresh air and I asked her if Jasper and Emmett were around. She said they were still in Phoenix, watching over my dad. On one hand, I was glad to hear that my dad was safe, but on the other, I felt awful at how worried he must be. Alice asked me if I wanted to call him yet but I just shook my head. I needed a bit more time.

The house was quite different from their house in Forks. More of a cottage. It was part of a farm and there were lots of grounds to roam in. I saw cows in a field and almost smiled. I thought vampires preferred a challenging hunt? Still, I guess it would've been convenient.

Soon Alice and I were following a little paved lane that meandered through the woods at the rear of the property. Just strolling. It was almost noon and the sky was bleak and white and almost familiar to the skies of Forks. The woods were dark and thick and after a while I asked where we were going. Alice looked at me apologetically and said we were going to see Edward. I wasn't too enthusiastic about the idea, but I didn't put up a fuss. I suppose it was unavoidable. If I was going to be staying at their house for a while, we were bound to bump into each other eventually. I sighed and kicked at the gravel in the lane. I had no idea what I was going to say to him, though. As far as I was concerned, he was nothing to me anymore. I wasn't even angry at him. I just didn't care.

Finally we came to a place where the lane split off the to the side. We stopped here and Alice nodded at the little dirt path that led further in to the woods.

"Just follow this path," she said. "You'll find him at the overlook."

"You aren't coming with me?"

"I think you should go yourself."

I looked into the woods, my stomach already turning. I looked back at Alice. She was standing there, all small and worried, and I smiled a little bit.

"Back in the desert you said you were never going to let me out of your sight," I said. "You breaking that promise already?"

She smirked and rose to the challenge. "You didn't make me watch you shower."

I blushed so hard at that. Alice giggled and nudged me toward the woods with her shoulder.

"Go on," she said. "You'll have to see him eventually anyway. Just try to keep an open mind and remember how bad he must feel. He willingly broke his own heart in half to keep you safe and all it did was endanger you more. I know how hurt you must be, but this is a chance for you both to heal."

I sighed and toed the dirt. It was rich and dark. I looked up and nodded.

"Okay," I said.

Alice smiled and then she gave me a hug. It wasn't a quick one. She held me and then she squeezed me and then she whispered in my ear.

"Good luck, okay?"

I nodded as she released me. I took one last look at her, at her perfect pretty face, and then I turned and started into the woods to confront Edward.

—

**AN: Hopefully this chapter managed to sway a few of you back to team Alice, or at least give you a grudging fluffy feeling. She really is the sweetest most amazing little pixie. Too bad for Victoria, though. But don't worry, she'll get another chance. ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: You guys are killing me with reviews, lol. They make me want to write even faster, but I'm already writing as fast as humanly possible! Speaking of which, here's the new chapter. It's the one we've all been dreading; Edward makes his formal debut. Ugh. But on the bright side, I think the overall chapter turned out very well. :)**

—

Chapter 11:

—

It wasn't a long walk. About fifteen minutes. The trail went around a bend of trees and up a slight rise. The ground was moist and littered with yellow leaves that were sifted through the dirt. The breeze had turned off a little cool and I wrapped my jacket around myself tighter, hugging myself as I trudged along. Eventually the trees thinned and I came out onto the overlook that Alice spoke of. The cliffside looked out over a vast reach of dark pine forest. The sky above was white and bleached. There was a homemade wooden fence that ran along the edge and standing at the rail was Edward.

Edward.

Seeing him with my own eyes caused something to curl up in my stomach. He had his back to me and I stopped at the edge of the woods without approaching. I didn't know what to do or say. How do you even say hello to the man who dumped you without so much as a conversation about it? Who's abandonment of you left you vulnerable to a pair of psycho vampires who broke your arm and killed your mother? I really didn't know and for a long moment I simply stared at the back of his head, at his familiar bronze hair and the pale nape of his neck. This was the man everybody assumed was my mate. Victoria, Alice. Even his family had certain expectations of us. But none of them realized that it had always been mostly just an infatuation on my side. First love mingled with an awe of vampirism. That's all it was and all of it had been shattered when he dumped me and I didn't think it could ever be put back together.

He spoke without turning around.

"Did Alice tell to you come?" he asked softly.

I took a breath to steady myself. "How did you know I was here?"

"Your scent."

I trudged over beside him and he turned to me with a sorrowful expression. His face was pale and angular and there was a faint sparkle across his skin from the thin sunrays that broke through the clouds. I hadn't been attracted to boys in a pretty long time but his sublime handsomeness did give me a tiny flutter.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he said.

"Yeah," I muttered. "Me too."

He continued looking at me, so sad, so remorseful. "I heard everything from Alice's thoughts. About your mother. About Victoria and James."

I looked away. The reminder of my mother caused a pang in my chest. It had already been days but I still found it hard to believe that my mother—my mom—was no longer part of this world any more. All because of…

Who?

Edward? No. Edward had made a grave mistake, but it was wrong to blame him. James. James was the one who killed her.

We were silent for a while and finally Edward shook his head. After the gravity of his remorseful stillness, the movement seemed almost theatrical.

"I always thought my inability to read your mind was a blessing," he said. "But now, I'm not sure. Maybe it still is. You must hate me so much."

I sighed and looked up at him. "I don't hate you, Edward."

"You should," he said, already telling me what to do. "Everything I've done…"

He shook his head and looked out over the forest again, doing as much as he could to look like a man of tragedy. His sadness was profound, but I'm sure a big part of it was over his inability to shed a dramatic tear. Either way, I was already sick of his shit.

"Yeah, well," I said. "Things happen. You can't take them back. Apologies don't do anything."

"No. But I can promise to protect you from now on."

"Alice already did."

He turned back to me, his bronze brow creased in his new expression of ever-crinkled woe. He looked like he wanted to take my hands but didn't dare. "Will you ever be able to forgive me, Bella?"

I sighed and shook my head. "I don't know, Edward."

"You need to understand that all I wanted to do was protect you. It was dangerous for you to be involved in our lives. I had no idea there were other vampires out there. If I knew…"

"I get that, Edward. The problem is, you made the decision for me. You didn't even ask what I wanted."

"Because I knew you would want to stay with me."

"And did that mean anything to you at all? My feelings? Or did you just brush them off as if I was a child who didn't know any better?"

He hung his head and I felt a rush of adrenaline at how well I had articulated what I had been feeling all these months. More was rising to the surface, more anger, more hurt, and my voice got louder as I continued.

"Because the way it turned out," I went on, "maybe I did know better. Do you know what I wanted to do, Edward? Instead of breaking up? I didn't only want to stay with you, I wanted to become a vampire as well. That way I wouldn't have been in any danger, not from you, not from Jasper or James, and not from any other vampire who'd happen to come along."

"It's not that simple, Bella."

I narrowed my eyes at how, after everything that happened, he still dared to contradict me. "Yes, it is, Edward. It is that simple. And it's even simpler now, because frankly I don't trust any of you to protect me anymore. If you wanna help me, you can turn me into a vampire. Then I can protect myself."

"No," he said. "Absolutely not."

His flat denial was like a slap in the face. I stared at him in disbelief. A loose formation of birds crossed the gorge with high calls and my voice came out in whisper barely louder than the wind whistling in the trees.

"What did you say?"

He was frowning, but not in sadness anymore. In stubbornness. Because he thought I wasn't listening to him. That fucking bastard. It was HIM who wasn't listening. It was HIM who never listened. It was HIM who—

"Becoming a vampire is a permanent decision, Bella," he said. "It's not something you can decide while in an emotional state."

I looked at him in disgust. "I'm not emotional."

"Yes, you are," he insisted, "and you need to see that. Becoming a vampire changes your entire life. Destroys it. Is that what you really want? Do you really want to throw away your ability to sleep, to eat, to feel actual human love, just because…"

I took a violent step away from him suddenly and flapped my hand angrily. "Just because what? Because I no longer feel safe as a fragile human knowing that there are vampires out there who want to kill me? Because my mother is dead and I want to kill the guy who did it? These are facts, Edward. Not emotions. My life is already destroyed and ruined. And who said I was asking for your advice anyway?"

"Bella, I'm just trying to protect—"

He reached for my hand and I almost fucking slapped him. I withdrew with a gasp of rage and screamed at him: "No! No! I've had enough of your bullshit, Edward! You don't make my decisions for me anymore, do you understand? You left me. No, you dumped me. And you still think you have any say over what goes on in my life? Fuck you."

His face went lost. He truly didn't understand what he did wrong. "Bella…"

I was crying now, tears of anger and frustration, and I shook my head as I backed away from him. "No, I've heard enough. If it wasn't for you trying to control my life, none of this would've happened in the first place. James is alive because YOU failed to kill him. And now my mother is dead. She's DEAD, Edward. Do you even understand that?!"

Edward lowered his head. I wiped my eyes and shook my head again.

"Look, just leave me alone, alright? I need some space. I'm going to be staying at that house until I'm fit to leave, but just stay away from me."

Then I turned and marched back through the woods.

I was moving so briskly that I got back to the house in half the time. I came frowning down the little dirt lane Alice had showed me, passed the barn and the paddock, and I found Alice waiting for me on the back porch with a sheepish expression. The porch was wooden and there were potted flowers there and a bench that hung from two chains. She was sitting on the bench, swinging gently, and she rose when I came stomping up the steps. I didn't know how good vampire hearing was but she asked anyway:

"How'd it go?"

I went past her without answering and tore open the screendoor.

I went directly upstairs and realized I had no idea which was the room they had put me in. I opened a door that seemed likely and inside was a small closet filled with mops and brooms and cleaning fluids. Muttering to myself, I closed the door and opened a different one. This one was the bedroom I had woken up in, so I went inside and closed the door again.

After that, I didn't really know what to do. I stood there, frowning. That fucking Edward. And why was Alice so determined to push me toward him? Why did everyone think I was so eager to forgive him and let him control my life again?

While I was stewing, I noticed my personal things on the dresser. Purse, keys. Phone. I looked at the phone and realized with a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I still hadn't called my dad. He must be worried sick by now. First his ex-wife is killed, then his daughter disappears. I still wasn't sure if I was ready to speak to him, but my conscience wouldn't allow me to put it off any longer. I didn't know how much I was allowed to tell him about what was happening, but I had to at least let him know I was okay.

So I picked up the phone. There were dozens of missed calls and texts from both Charlie and Jake. I didn't have the heart to go through them. I just hit the button to call dad. He answered on the first ring and his voice came over breathless and half-desperate.

"Bells? Bells, is that you?"

"Yeah, dad," I said. "It's me."

He made a sound on the other end of the phone, a strangled whimper of mingled relief and worry. Then he forced it away and his voice became stern. "Where are you? Are you alright? What happened? There was another break in at your mother's old house. Her car was stolen. Jake said you guys went there to look for clues and found the place busted up. Then he said you ran off on him. Do you have any idea how stupid that was?"

I nodded and closed my eyes to concentrate.

"Dad, listen to me," I said. "I'm alright."

"Where are you?"

"I'm with Alice."

He went silent. In shock. That was probably the last thing he was expecting, for the Cullens to be back in my life. I still hadn't fully committed to it myself.

"She came to pick me up in Phoenix," I went on. "I'm staying with her family for a little bit."

"Where?"

"It doesn't matter."

"The hell it doesn't. You're my daughter, Bella."

"Dad, please. Just trust me."

"Trust you? Where are you, Bells? Just tell me where you are and I'll come get you."

I shook my head, still with my eyes closed. I was pinching the bridge of my nose and I didn't want to be rude to him or lie to him or take him for granted, but he didn't understand. My life was in danger. _His_ life was in danger. Everything was fucked up and…

"Bells?"

I sighed and opened my eyes. "Are you still in Phoenix?" I asked him.

"Of course I am. You disappeared, Bells, did you think I was gonna just go home without you?"

"Well, you can go home now, alright? I'll meet you there as soon as I can. Don't worry about me, okay? I'll be fine. I just need some time alone."

"Bells, just tell me where you are."

"I can't, dad. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disappear like that. I really didn't. Just promise me you'll go home to Forks, okay? I love you."

"Bells—"

I hung up before I could start crying. Instantly the phone rang again in my hands. I hit ignore. It rang one more time and I took the battery out.

—

It was hours later with the sun going down in the window when I was lonely enough to want Alice. Being secretly in love with her for so long made it impossible not to forgive her for virtually anything, and after brooding on my bed for multiple hours, it became all too clear that my longing for her far outweighed any anger at her zeal of reuniting me with her brother.

So I left the room and crept down the corridor, wondering where she was. I could hear voices as I was coming down the stairs and I was surprised to find the whole family—aside from Edward, Jasper, and Emmett—in the living room together. The stairs descended directly into the living room and they stopped speaking when they saw me, Esme and Carlisle exchanging glances, Rosalie glaring, Alice attempting a smile. I seemed to have interrupted a family conference and their sudden silence suggested that it was me they had been discussing.

Esme rose from the sofa she was sitting on and offered me a smile. "Well, I think I'll go make something to eat," she said. "Are you hungry, Bella?"

"A little bit," I said quietly. "Thanks."

She smiled again and nodded and looked at the other members of her family as if to silently give them a hint. Rosalie sighed and rose to her feet disdainfully. Carlisle was already standing and he gave me a nod before he followed his wife into the kitchen. Rosalie was a little slower and she gave me one of her glares as she went past and started up the stairs.

The only person who stayed behind was Alice.

She was sitting on the sofa and I went around to sit next to her. She was smiling apologetically and she had her hands in her lap. If she had no idea how cute and forgivable she looked in that posture, then she really was as innocent as she looked.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey," I replied.

She milked the moment of silence for a bit, nibbling her lip sheepishly, before she sighed and spoke. "So it didn't go so good with Edward, huh?"

"What gave you a clue?"

"Well, for starters, he's completely disappeared."

I blinked at her. "Excuse me?"

She chuckled, as if Edward was a child who'd done something cute, and shook her head at his antics. "Yeah," she said. "That's what we were talking about just then. I've had visions of him in a few different places. Looks like he hasn't decided where he's going, but he's definitely not coming back here for a while."

"Unbelievable," I said in disgust. "Why does he have to turn everything into such a fucking drama?"

Alice giggled once and shrugged. "It's what we love about him, I guess."

I shook my head and literally face palmed. I can't even. What the fuck is wrong with this guy? He was a hundred years old, for fuck's sake. I'm only eighteen and I had more emotional depth and maturity than this caricature of a man named Edward.

Alice waited a moment and then she cocked her head. "So what happened?"

"I don't know," I muttered. "What did you think would happen?"

"I thought you would talk it out. I know how hurt you are, but…"

"But what?"

"I don't know. Doesn't love conquer all?"

"Who said I love him, Alice?"

She didn't reply to that and her face finally went a little sad. I raised my eyebrows inquisitively and acted like I actually expected her to answer.

"Huh? Who said? Because I never did. One thing you and everyone else keep forgetting is that he dumped me. I mean, did you honestly think that I was just sitting around in Forks praying for an opportunity to get back together with him after the way he treated me? And after everything that happened because of it?"

She listened to me and her expression made me soften. Because I could see that she was truly listening.

And understanding.

"Seriously, Alice," I said, letting my voice soften. "You expected me to go running back to him but did it ever occur to you that maybe I don't want to? That maybe I don't even want to be part of his life anymore?"

"No," she whispered apologetically. "I never thought of that at all."

"Yeah, I could tell," I muttered, looking away with my eyes stinging.

Alice put a hand on my knee and bent to the side slightly so that she could look into my face. "I'm sorry, Bella," she said. "But you never told me any of this."

"Of course I never told you, Alice. He's your brother. You want him to be happy. You don't care about me, you just…"

"Hey," she said, jostling my knee with her hand. "That's not true. I do care about you."

I sniffed once and looked at her. "You do?"

A large smile spread over her lips. "Of course I do, silly. More than you know. Do you have any idea how much it broke me up to leave you in Forks like we did? I was almost ready to rip off Edward's head myself."

I chuckled. It was a bit of a wet chuckle. Alice giggled as well and went on.

"Not only because I was going to miss you," she said, "but because I knew how much it would hurt you. He didn't even let me say goodbye. I hated him so much for forcing me to do that, but…"

She trailed off for a moment and looked aside. I watched her face as she drifted in thought, her eyelashes, her white-satin skin, her lips. God, she was so pretty.

"But he's my brother," she said finally. "And you're right. I want him to be happy."

My heart sank a little. But then she smiled and jostled my knee again.

"But not at the expense of your own happiness," she said. "If you don't want to be with him anymore, that's fine. All you had to do was say so."

I smiled and looked at her in amazement. Could this be? Someone who actually understood and cared about my feelings?

"Really?" I asked.

Alice giggled and gave me a hug, there on the sofa. "Yes, Bella," she said. "I promise I'll never push you toward him again, okay?"

I smiled and hugged her back. But then my smile began to slip away, because…

"Bella?" she said as she let me go and saw my face. "What's wrong?"

I looked at her hesitantly. "Edward was the only reason we became friends," I said. "So if Edward and I break up…"

Alice touched a fingertip to my lips to silence me. "Stop right there," she said with a smile. "You're more to me than my brother's girlfriend, okay? Much more. You always were."

My eyes began to go moist again. I always knew she liked me, but I never knew how much. Now I knew. She liked me for more than my relationship to her brother.

_Much more._

Those last two words caused a flicker or two in my chest but I didn't dwell on them. Yet even as I tried not to dwell on them, it occurred to me all over again that she had always sent mixed signals, and she had always been so liberal with the hugs and body contact, and she was always so playful and flirty, and now here she was telling me how important I was to her and that she always wanted me in her life even if I broke up with her brother. Was it possible that maybe…

"Besides," she went on with her bright and beautiful smile. "There's other ways of obtaining a sister than by pimping out your brother."

She held up a pinkie finger and tilted her head.

"Sisters?" she asked.

I smiled as well and linked my pinkie with hers.

"Sisters," I said.

She giggled and locked our pinkies and then gave me a hug with a playfully aggressive little growl that squeezed a giggle out of me too. Then she sat back and placed her hands in her lap and looked at me with a smile.

"Good," she said. "Now tell me everything."

At first I didn't know what she meant. "About what?"

"About what happened with Edward," she said. "Just because you're not getting back together, doesn't mean I'm not curious about the details. Did you have a fight?"

Now that the truth was out, I felt I could approach the subject a little more casually, knowing that she would understand and that she was on my side. Still, I didn't want to trash him, so I just gave a little shrug.

"Not really," I said. "I only raised my voice toward the end. Actually, everything was fine until I mentioned I wanted someone to turn me into a vampire. I knew he probably wouldn't want to do it himself, but then he went all stubborn and self-righteous. Even though becoming a vampire is literally the only way I have of protecting myself—and my family—he still acts like…"

I trailed off when I noticed how pensive she became.

"What's wrong?"

She made a hesitant expression and spoke even more hesitantly. "Are you sure you still want to become a vampire? Even though you're breaking up with Edward?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, immortality without a mate to share it with might not be all that great in the long run. Vampires don't have online dating, you know. And even if we did, most of them tend to be evil monsters."

"That's not the point, Alice. This is about survival. And protecting myself."

"I can protect you."

"I know, but it's not just that. James killed my mother, Alice. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Cry about it and move on? No. I'm not gonna wait around for him to come find me. I'm going to go find _him_ and I'm going to kill him for what he did."

Alice didn't quite seem to approve but she wasn't stubborn like Edward. She just seemed to be worried about me. "We could kill him for you," she suggested.

"Like you killed him the first time?" I retorted.

Alice winced and I felt a little guilty. But that doesn't mean I wasn't right.

"Sorry, Alice," I said, "but I'd have to be an idiot to trust all of you again so easily."

"I know, I understand," she said. "I just think you might be taking this decision a little lightly."

"_Lightly_?"

"Eternity without a mate can be very bleak, Bella."

"Because my life right now is a bowl of fucking cherries, right?"

She winced again and nodded in agreement to that point, but she had other points to make too. "The other thing to consider is the newborn phase. Newly created vampires experience extreme amounts of strength and bloodlust. Becoming a vampire might protect you physically, but how will you feel if you lose control and go on a rampage in your quest for revenge?"

I opened my mouth and closed it again. I guess she finally made a point worth making. Fuck.

Alice let me think about that for a second and then she went on. "And what about your father? As a newborn, you would be far more of a danger to him than James and Victoria are. And how would you even explain it? You would basically have to say goodbye to him forever."

Shit, another effective point. My shoulders deflated.

Alice smiled and rubbed my knee. "I'm not trying to interfere with your decision, Bella," she said, "I just want you to know what you'd be getting yourself into. I'm fully aware that remaining human has it's downsides too. You'll be vulnerable if we fail to protect you. You'll get old. But becoming a vampire isn't some magic solution. It's just a different set of problems. I just want you to be prepared, that's all."

I nodded and gave her a smile to let her know I appreciated it. She smiled as well and caressed my knee. I looked at the hand there. So small and white. How many times had she touched my knee since I sat down? And how many hugs? It was almost like she couldn't keep her hands off me.

I looked at her. She rubbed my knee again, smiling, as if she wasn't aware of anything weird at all. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Would you turn me?" I asked her.

She nodded decisively and without hesitation. "Yes," she said. "I would turn you, and I would guide you through the newborn phase. I'd do whatever you need me to, Bella. I just don't want to lose you again. After the first time I lost you, I realized that…"

But she cut herself off and shook her head sillily.

"Well, you're very special to me," she said. "Like a little sister."

I smiled with a strange joy welling in my chest. Her hand was still on my knee. Awareness of it was causing my heart to race.

"Thanks, Alice," I said. "You mean a lot to me too."

She nodded, smiling, caressing my knee absently, gazing at my face. I blushed at the proximity of her prettiness and said:

"Maybe immortality wouldn't be so bad after all, huh? I mean, at least I'd have you, right?"

I covered her hand with my own.

Her hand froze.

So did my heart. Had I been too bold? Did she realize I was hitting on her? My face had been getting progressively hotter as I spoke and she finally did seem to realize that all was not as it seemed. She blinked at me, not moving. My eyes flickered at her lips and I had such an urge to kiss her. I looked back to her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but then she drifted away. Her face went vacant.

She was having a vision.

My heart started pounding. "Alice?"

Alice snapped out of the vision and blinked a few times. She chuckled awkwardly and shook her head. "Sorry," she said. "That was a vision. A very, um…strange one."

She looked down at our hands and withdrew her own. I hoped I hadn't ruined anything between us.

"What happened?" I asked. "In the vision."

She gave another flustered chuckle and struggled for some lie. It was so obvious. Finally she cocked a thumb to point over the backrest of the sofa toward the kitchen.

"Esme's about to burn something," she said. "Maybe we should give her a hand?"

She rose from the couch. Very hastily, I thought. As if she wanted to get away from me. Yet she waited there until I had rose as well and once I did she smiled and wrapped her arms around me with that same strange haste. She held me for a moment, a long moment, and then she sighed and gave me a squeeze.

"We'll continue this talk tomorrow, okay?" she whispered. "I just need some time to think about it."

Her enigmatic words caused my entire body to go light and weightless. "What do you mean?"

But she only released me and winked and turned toward the kitchen.

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	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Some of you are already eager for Victoria to come back, but remember the title of the story: Absence. The key theme here is separation…and reunion, hopefully, but they gotta be apart for a while first. ;)**

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Chapter 12:

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I didn't sleep at all that night. Well, not much. Just a few light hours. I couldn't stop thinking about that strange interaction with Alice. The touching, the hugging, the weird words. In that conversation Alice and I had solidified our friendship, but was it only me who suspected something more than just friendship had been taking place? I could remember the way she had been startled after her vision. As if she'd seen something completely unexpected. Something that made her nervous and…excited? She certainly wasn't horrified or afraid. But what could it have been? Something to do with me? Something to do with my feelings?

I was up early the next morning and at first I thought Alice was up early too. But then I remembered vampires don't sleep. She was in the kitchen with Esme and she made me coffee while Esme was busy preparing a picnic basket. I asked what was going on and she told me that we were going to have a picnic brunch together, just me and her. She said she knew the most perfect place in the woods not far from the house, where we could be alone. I sipped my coffee and tried to get myself under control. Alice had told me last night that she wanted to talk. She never mentioned what she wanted to talk about, but I think I had something of an idea. At least I hoped I did.

We set out while it was still early, the two of us in boots and jackets, no wind and not very cold. Alice was carrying the basket in both hands and I went along beside her, chatting, glancing, wondering what all this was about.

It was almost noon when we reached the spot. It was a small clearing where a thee had fallen over in some old storm. Alice came wandering through the small blooms on the ground and looked around with a smile.

"Here we are," she said. "I think this is the spot. Yep, I recognize the tree."

"Recognize it from what?"

"A vision. I saw it was going to be a very lovely day."

She said that with a smile. I looked up at the sky. It was pretty gray, but maybe that's not what she meant by a lovely day.

The windfall trunk was shaped almost perfectly like a picnic table and Alice was spreading a table cloth on it as if actually was a picnic table.

"It's nice to go out and do these kinds of things," she was saying. "Especially with Jasper not around."

"When are him and Emmett coming back?"

"Tomorrow. Charlie's flying back to Seattle tonight. Pretty soon he'll be safe and sound at home."

"And there's no sign of James or Victoria?"

Alice shook her head as she began to unpack the various containers of food that Esme had prepared. "No, but I still haven't told Jasper or Emmett about James yet. All they know about is Victoria."

"Why didn't you tell them?"

"It was Jasper and Emmett's responsibility to get rid of James's body. But at the time you were injured, and I guess they hurried back so fast that they didn't complete the job properly. They're going to feel very bad when they find out what James did. Especially Jasper. He prides himself on being an effective hunter. He used to be a soldier. A captain in the confederate army. After what happened at your birthday, this is the second time he's messed up pretty bad."

"Yeah," I muttered.

Alice noticed my tone and went apologetic. "I'm sorry. You probably don't want to hear any of that."

"Not really."

"Then let's not talk about it, okay? No more bad stuff. We have all of today just for ourselves so let's make the most of it. Okay?"

That sounded more like it. I smiled and nodded.

"Okay," I said.

Alice smiled as well and then she patted the log for me to sit down.

Alice didn't eat, of course, and naturally there was far too much food for me to eat by myself. But I had to admit, it was one hell of a brunch. I had some Caesar salad and part of a French roll and a can of diet Coke that Alice opened for me and poured into a separate paper cup. As I ate, we talked, and as we talked, the clouds overhead began to thin until it was almost bright in the little glade. So far we had only made innocent small talk, but the way our eyes kept catching, made it clear there was something a little deeper on our minds.

After a while there was even a little bit of sun. Alice had packed up the picnic basket and set it down in the grass as she looked up at the sky, smiling. She looked down at her hand. There was a light sparkle on it and she twinkled her fingers to show me.

"See? Told you it was going to be a lovely day."

I nodded and took her hand so that I could look at it more closely. I turned it over and traced my fingertips over her palm, gazing into the sparkles like a fortuneteller.

"It's so pretty," I whispered.

Alice didn't reply. She didn't take her hand away either. It felt like she was sending me a signal by letting me hold it and I sent her one right back by not releasing it right away, by holding it and fondling her slim little fingers and smiling at her shyly. My heart was already racing and finally she giggled and hopped off the log.

"Come on," she said, "let's sit down in the grass and relax a little."

I rose and she whipped the picnic blanket off the log and spread it again at the base of the trunk. She sat down first, with her back against the log, and before I could sit beside her, she grabbed my hand and tugged me down almost into her lap, between her legs for me to settle back against her.

It took me by surprise, such an intimate way to relax, but I said nothing. Alice put her arms around me and I was reclining between her legs and shifting a little to get comfortable. She held me loosely and we sat in silence for a moment until she gave a little giggle.

"Mmm," she said. "This is nice, isn't it?"

My throat was thick but I said, "Yeah."

Then we went silent again. A bird chirped in the forest. Then another. A slow heat was coming into my face and I didn't dare speak or move. Her arms were around my middle, just under the globes of my breasts, and I was relaxing between her thighs like a girlfriend or lover and I didn't say one word for fear of letting her know how strange it was for just friends to sit like this. Maybe if I said nothing she would just continue to hold me and think it was normal. Maybe—

Alice sighed softly and rubbed her cheek against my hair.

"Do you know what I've always loved about you, Bella?" she asked.

I swallowed. "What?"

"You never complain about how affectionate I am. I've never had that before. Rosalie hates being touched and there's always been an age gap between me and Esme. Then again, I suppose I never really wanted to be as affectionate with them as I am with you. It's weird, huh?"

"Not really."

"Yes," Alice whispered. "It is."

Now there was something in my hair. It was her finger. She was twirling locks of my hair around her finger, playing with it, touching it, smelling it. I heard her breathe deeply and let it out in a sigh.

"They say absence makes the heart grow fonder," she said. "I guess that's kind of true, because I never realized how much I liked you until after you were gone. I mean, we were always good friends, but…"

She trailed off. I sat very still, my heart pounding.

"But after you were gone, I really missed you," she said. "A lot. I thought about you every day and I would remember your face and your voice. Your scent. Sometimes I would just sit down and think about you. Wondering what you were doing. Wondering if you missed me as much as I missed you."

"I did," I whispered.

"Yeah," she said with a giggle. "I figured that."

I didn't reply. I didn't know what was going on. Was she saying what I thought she was saying?

"Hey," she said, giving me a little squeeze and a cuddle. "Remember that vision I had yesterday before dinner?"

"You said it was about Esme burning something."

"Well, I need to confess. I was just making that up."

"You were?"

"Yeah. Do you want to know what the vision was really about?"

"Okay."

She leaned to my ear and very quietly she whispered:

"I saw you kissing me."

I went absolutely still. She giggled again, her lips right by my ear.

"On the mouth," she said. "A real actual kiss."

"I did?"

"Mmhm."

"When?"

"Around now."

My throat felt closed over. I swallowed with difficulty and turned slightly to look at her. She was smiling and none of this seemed to have disturbed her in the least. Her face wore a slight sparkle from the sunlight and my eyes flickered over her incredible prettiness before settling on her big yellow eyes.

"Am I still going to do it?" I asked.

She cupped the nape of my neck and looked at me searchingly.

"That's what I wanted to talk about," she said. "Are you?"

My eyes began to prickle. The love I felt for her was like an ache in my chest. I knew she was a girl and I knew she was married and I knew I shouldn't feel this way but—

"I missed you so much, Alice," I whispered.

Alice smiled softly. "I missed you too."

Then she kissed me.

She drew my lips to hers and I completed the distance with a tiny surge. My mouth connected to hers and my heart felt like it was about to burst from all the joy and confusion and conflict contained there. Her lips were cool and soft and I pressed mine to them as if my life depended on it. As if I might never kiss them again. Because even in that one moment, part of me knew that it could never be this easy and there was already a feeling of foreboding deep in my stomach.

Alice broke the kiss and looked at me again. Her hand was cupping my cheek and I was still sitting between her legs, half-turned around to face her. My heart was beating like a drum and in those moments I tried my hardest to scrutinize her smile. It was soft, wistful, happy in a way that was distant or sad, almost. I couldn't tell what it was. With all my heart I wanted it to mean that I was now her mate and we would live happily ever after, but…

"What happens now?" I asked.

She had been stroking my hair softly and now her smile perked up. "Now? Now we spend the day together. How does that sound?"

I had been hoping I could get some kind of assurance that what happened wasn't just a fluke, but—

Alice giggled and rose suddenly, scooping me up in her arms like a bride. I yelped and clung to her neck. She grinned at me.

"Ready to go?" she asked.

"Where we going?"

"Surprise."

"But what about the picnic basket?"

"Let's just leave it," she said, and then she giggled and took off through the woods.

I clung to her very tightly with my face buried in the crook of her neck as she leapt from rock to rock and dashed through trees. Eventually she slowed down and we had to walk the rest of the way. The sun wasn't too bright but she put on a pair of mittens to cover her hands and she flipped up the hood of her hoodie. The hoodie was black and I thought it looked adorable on her. I told her so and she giggled and kissed me, as if it was completely normal, and then pulled off one of her mittens so that she could hold my hand as we walked through town.

My heart was throbbing the entire time. Holding hands with a girl. With Alice. It was like she had flipped a switch and suddenly we were girlfriends. I didn't understand any of it, but I certainly didn't question it. Our clasped hands got some looks and glances from other pedestrians on the streets in this small and somewhat conservative town, but I wasn't too embarrassed. I didn't go to school here and I didn't care what anybody thought. All that mattered was the fact that I was holding hands with Alice. There was nothing that could make such a wonderful thing feel bad.

Alice seemed to have been here before and I realized where she was taking me as we began to get closer. There was some kind of carnival in town and I could already see the tips of rides and rollercoasters in the distance. Alice said they'd been in town most of the week and that today was the last day so we better make the most of it. Her words about making the most of it seemed to have a double meaning but I didn't want to pursue that possibility. For now, I just wanted to be with Alice.

It was still early afternoon and the fair grounds were all but barren. Me and Alice almost had the entire place to ourselves, which was exactly how I would've preferred it. We went on rides together and most of the time we were the only two people there, strapped into the rollercoaster and screaming in glee on the dips and turns, or giggling together as we rode the teacups and spun round and round, or cuddled together in a little loveboat as we drifted through a tunnel and out into the light again. The boat was a small little canoe and we were sitting in the bow, facing back the way we came. Alice's arm was around my shoulders and I smiled as we came under an arch that was shaped like a huge gaudy love heart.

Alice giggled, gazing at the same thing. "So cheesy, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I said, smiling up at her from under her arm. "But romantic."

She kissed my forehead. As she did, my eyes drifted over the far bank, and—

I saw a flash of red hair.

Instantly my heart jumped and I sat up with a gasp. I was almost ready to climb directly out of the boat and do something—no idea what—when the person with red hair just turned around and kept walking. It wasn't even a woman. A girl, maybe only fifteen years old. She was with some guy and her hair wasn't even the same red I was looking out for. It was a rusty orange color. Not even close to the deep, vibrant, amazing red of Victoria.

Alice sat up in the boat as well. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," I said. "I thought I saw somebody."

Alice saw the girl with red hair and turned back to me. "Victoria?"

I felt a flash of guilt. Here I was on something like a date with the girl I had secretly been in love with for months, and my blood was pumping because I had almost spotted…

…what?

The woman who had been stalking me?

The woman who wanted to kill me?

The woman who's deep red hair and lethal passion for me haunted my subconscious like a succubus?

But luckily, Alice knew nothing about my feelings for Victoria. As far as Alice knew, I was only scared. So she put her arm back around me and pulled me close. "Don't worry," she said. "With no wolves around to obscure my visions, I'll see her coming a mile away. So just relax. For now, everything's going to be fine."

I gave her a half-hearted smile. Alice noticed it and went a little serious.

"Actually, there's something I've been meaning to ask you," she said. "About that night in the desert."

"What about it?"

She hesitated slightly. "I'm just wondering," she said. "How come you didn't let me kill her? If you had let me kill her, you'd never have to worry about her again. I know you got a good heart and a conscience and all, but it was more than that. Wasn't it?"

I lowered my eyes. I could hear the trickle of water under the boat, the sounds of fairground music. After a while I shrugged.

"It's complicated," I said.

"How do you mean?"

"She saved my life, Alice. James would've killed me if it wasn't for Victoria."

"I don't understand."

"Like I said, it's complicated. The first time she came for me back in Forks, I fought her off with a blowtorch. That's why she was wearing an eyepatch. I almost killed her."

Alice raised her eyebrows. "Wow."

I chuckled once. "Yeah. But I couldn't do it. Even though I knew I should've killed her, seeing her on fire and in so much pain was unbearable to me. So I stopped. Seconds later she recovered a little bit and…"

I sighed and held up the cast of my left arm to show her what had happened.

"She attacked me," I said. "But then she stopped as well. She couldn't bring herself to kill me either. She really wanted to—I mean, she was actually drooling venom—and yet she couldn't do it. Somehow she actually stopped. She told me later it was because she had never experienced that amount of passion for her prey before and she wanted to make the feeling last."

"So she let you go?"

"Yeah."

"But that's impossible. She was injured and frenzied and she just…?"

"Let me go. Yeah."

Alice's face went pensive. As if she really didn't understand. I sighed and looked down at the cast around my arm in my lap.

"About a week later, I got the news about my mother," I said. "I thought it was Victoria who killed her, but it was James."

"Weren't they working together?"

"No. James never even told Victoria he was alive. Never even called her. I guess that was one of the reasons she saved me. She was pretty pissed at him. But it wasn't only that. She saved me because she wanted to kill me herself, but…"

I trailed off, shaking my head. I looked at Alice.

"I was positive she wasn't going to do it," I said. "I don't know how I knew, but I _knew_. And even now, I'm not very worried about her. I mean, maybe she didn't even go back to James. Maybe they had another fight."

"I've been trying to focus my visions on her but her movements are very erratic. If I had to guess I'd say she hasn't really decided what she's going to do yet."

"She'll come for me," I said, nodding absently to myself.

But why?

Would she come to kill me?

Or for something else?

Alice could see that I was drifting away and she quickly gave me a little squeeze under her arm. "Anyway, let's not talk about any of that right now," she said. "I shouldn't have asked. Let's just have fun, okay?"

I smiled and I was grateful for the distraction. Because I really didn't want to think about any of that. All that was confusing and uncertain. But this…

I snuggled under her arm and for some reason my smile was a little subdued.

…this was confusing and uncertain too, I guess.

Once the ride was over we got out of the boat and started roaming again. Alice bought me some cottoncandy and we went on with her looking for another ride to go on and me picking off little pinches of pink fluff to pop into my mouth one by one. We went past one of those duck shooting games where you have to shoot tin cut-outs of ducks with an air rifle and Alice promptly vowed to win me a prize. It took her a few tries, her vampire powers of no use to her against small metallic ducklings, but I cheered her and told her she could do it and finally she won her selection of the large plush toys on the top shelf. She asked me which one I wanted and I took a quick look. They had elephants and bears and turtles but it was the tiger who caught my eye. Lethal feline, russet colored fur. It kind of reminded me of Victoria. I pointed it out with a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach and the vendor handed it down to Alice and Alice offered it to me with a smile. I gave it a hug and told her thanks.

The next ride we went on was the ferriswheel. Alice had had a vision of us stranded together at the top and we had to run to catch it on the correct rotation. Alice wasn't sure we had made it but after we went around a few times the cart were in really did stop right at the apex of the turn.

The wheel was huge and you could almost see the entire town from the top. Alice pushed back her hoodie and allowed the sun to sparkle across her face. Then she smiled at me and put her arm around me as she had been doing all day.

"See? I told you it would stop at the top."

I smiled. I had the plush tiger in my lap and I was petting it as if it was a real cat. "It's weird the kinds of things you see in your visions. The only thing you're always right about is the little things."

"That's because the little things don't matter. It's the big things that generally need to be changed."

"What about me and you?" I asked, turning to look at her. "Is this something that needs to be changed?"

Alice didn't reply. She gave me a sad smile.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked down at the tiger in my lap.

"Do you like your tiger?" she asked.

"I love it."

"Are you going to give it a name? Alice is a cute name."

I chuckled and held it up to the sun to get a better look. The fur was orange and it was bobbed down as if to pounce. "Do you think she looks like an Alice?"

"Sure. I'm a lot like a tiger. Grrr. See?"

"You're right," I said, smiling at her growl. "Alice it is, then. I love her."

Then I gave the tiger a big kiss on its nose.

Although the name Vicky might've suited it as well.

Alice grinned. "Hey, how come only little Alice gets some action? Does big Alice get a kiss too?"

"Sure," I said, and my heart instantly began to race as I leaned forward and placed my lips on hers.

It wasn't the first time I had kissed her that day, but it was still so amazing. I couldn't believe I was truly kissing her. I never thought it would ever happen. Not only did I never think I'd ever see her again, but even if I did, I thought there was no chance she could ever feel the same way about me. And maybe she didn't. I still had no idea. So far she wouldn't talk about it. All she seemed to want to do was cuddle and kiss and go on rides with me.

Alice's hand was threading into my hair and I began to sense some urgency in her kiss when the ferriswheel began moving again. The jar of the movement broke the kiss and I thought I saw a strange desperation in her eyes before she fixed her face back into its usual smile. By now the sun was beginning to set and she sighed as she flipped her hoodie back up.

"It's getting pretty late," she said. "Did you wanna stick around for the fireworks or do you wanna go home?"

I took her hand and held it. "Let's stay as long as we can."

"Are you sure? You look a little cold."

"I'm fine."

She grinned and touched her forehead to mine. "But wouldn't you be more comfortable at home? In my room? Just the two of us?"

"Well, when you put it like that…"

Alice giggled and placed another kiss on my lips.

We went home directly after we got off the ferriswheel. It was a short walk to the edge of town and Alice took me the rest of the way on her back, directly into the house before depositing me in the kitchen. Esme showed up to welcome us and instantly set out making dinner. That seemed to be her automatic response whenever she saw me. I would've been cool with a pizza or something so they didn't have to mess up the kitchen but she kept insisting that she really did enjoy cooking.

I guess it would've been ungrateful to complain, so I didn't. I just sat down at the counter and kept them company. I still hadn't warmed up to any of the Cullens aside from Alice, but I wasn't really the type to hold a grudge. Part of me would always blame them for how they left me after dragging people like James and Victoria into my life, but at the same time, I was aware that it was Edward who made the decision to leave. The others were just going along with him, and to be perfectly frank, it's not like they had any actual responsibility over me in the first place. I wasn't part of their family. I was just some girl.

Finally dinner was ready and they both stuck around while I ate. Alice sat beside me and Esme was wiping down the sink with a dishtowel.

"So what have you girls been up to all day?" she asked idly.

I paused with the fork halfway to my mouth and looked at Alice. Alice grinned.

"Oh, nothing much," she said. "We had some lunch and then we checked out that carnival in town."

"Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, lots of fun. Right, Bella?"

She smiled at me, as if it was fun to keep a secret. I smiled as well, but deep down I knew that a secret was the same as it not happening at all.

"Yeah," I said. "It was great."

Esme turned to us. "What about my picnic basket?"

"Oh," Alice said. "I completely forgot."

Esme sighed and rolled her eyes.

I smiled and continued eating.

After dinner Alice took me upstairs to her room, just the two of us, just like she said she would. The house had central heating and it was warm and cosy with the door shut. Her room was very pink and little girl-ish, with pink wall paper and pink bedsheets. She explained that she was currently going through a pink phase and that Jasper refused to even share the room with her. I was happy to hear that, although I tried hard to reign in my expectations. She also had a TV in her room and a bunch of video games and soon we had our shoes off as we sat on the carpet in out socks and battled each other at Mario Kart.

Soon the room was filled with giggling and a bit of bickering. She had selected Princess Peach as her driver and I had picked Toadette. Who was basically a female toadstool. I grumbled at how it wasn't fair she got the cool character and the grumbling continued as I began to lose every race. I was well known to suck at video games and Alice didn't go easy on me at all. She continued to win race after race and after an hour I was getting a little pouty.

"Oh my god, you have to be cheating, Alice," I said, mashing the controller in my hands. "You're using your gift or something. Every time I try to hit you with a turtle shell, you know exactly how to avoid it."

"That's not my gift, Bella, that's just your clumsy and uncoordinated aiming."

"No, it's—"

Alice smirked and gracefully guided her character over the finish line. Fireworks went off on the screen and my own driver spun out like a loser.

"Yay, I win again!"

Alice giggled and gave me an obnoxiously cute grin. I snort and jabbed at the button to quit.

"This sucks," I said. "I don't want to play anymore."

The screen faded to the main menu and Alice giggled again.

"Sorry," she said. "Originally I wanted to let you win, but there was no way I could do it without being painfully obvious and patronizing. I mean, you just suck so much."

I crossed my arms and glared at her. "Hmph. And I thought you were being nice to me today."

"Aww, is my little Bella upset? Hm?"

I pouted at her very deliberately. What made me angriest was that she was so fucking cute when she was winning.

The plush tiger she had won for me at the fair was sitting between us and now Alice it picked up to use as a prop for sympathy.

"But I bet you're not upset with little Alice," she said. "Hm? Are you mad at Little Alice? Little Alice didn't do anything wrong, did she? Here, let little Alice give you a kiss."

She touched the snout of the tiger to my lips. I smiled grudgingly. She giggled.

"How does that feel?" she asked. "Do you feel better?"

I took the tiger away from her and placed it down. I leaned toward her lips boldly. "I'd rather have a kiss from big Alice…"

"Mmm," she said, as our lips connected. "I thought you might."

Instantly her hand wove into my hair and my heart almost fluttered out of my chest as she deepened the kiss without any kind of warning. Her tongue licked against my teeth and my mouth fell open automatically. Then it was in my mouth. Her tongue. Alice's tongue. It was cool and soft and so incredibly sexy, her tongue, in my mouth, and I could feel it sliding up against my own and I almost died from the heat and dizziness that swept over me. I moaned, trying to kiss her back, and a soft growl came out of her as she wrapped her arms around me and rolled me onto the floor.

I'm not sure how long we made out for, but it felt like forever. My heart was beating so hard and fast that it felt almost dangerous. I was flat on my back on the carpet and I could feel her knee between my legs, a maddening friction at the front of my jeans. Her hand was like ice against my flushed cheek and she was stroking my face as she kissed me and moaned and continued to kiss me. My arms were around her back and I even dared to slip one of them up her top to caress the cold satin skin there. I could feel the tiny knobs of her spine, her shoulder blades. I could feel her tongue, her lips. Her body arched into mine and part of me thought we were going to go all the way.

But then she began to slow down and finally she broke the kiss to look at me. I was completely breathless and when my eyes opened they fluttered like butterfly wings. I looked at her and touched her face and for a moment my heart filled with hope. Because she wouldn't have kissed me like this if it wasn't serious, she wouldn't have touched me like this if she didn't want to do it tomorrow and the next day, she wouldn't lead me on unless—

"Does this mean we can be together?" I asked breathlessly.

Her face went sad but she tried to smile. "No," she said. "It just means I couldn't resist being together for at least one day."

And just like that all my hopes were dashed.

My heart sank. My body went cold. My throat tightened. I swallowed and looked away.

"I'm sorry, Bella," she whispered.

I shook my head and squirmed out from under her. I wiped my eyes as I sat up, but I wasn't actually crying. "It's okay," I said. "I knew we could never… I mean, I know you're married, so…"

"It's not that."

"It's not?"

Alice was sitting on her knees, watching me with sadness and guilt in the slope of her shoulders. "Not entirely. If it was just that, I could talk to Jasper. And ask for a separation. At least for a little while, so we could sort all this out. But…"

A pained look came over her face and she shook her head.

"Jasper isn't a vegetarian by choice," she said. "He's a vegetarian because of me. Because of our relationship. He only started feeding from animals because he wanted to be the kind of man that I could love. A good man. So without me…"

She sighed and turned her eyes to mine.

"He needs me, Bella," she said. "I'm the only thing standing between him and a life of eternal darkness. I can't afford to even suggest that I might not love him the way he needs me to. You saw him on your birthday, the way he reacted to your papercut. No matter how hard he's tried to change, he'll always be teetering on a very dangerous edge."

I nodded, and this time I did have a tear to wipe away. Alice took my hands and held them to draw my eyes back to hers.

"I'm sorry to have led you on today, but I honestly couldn't resist," she said. "Because I do like you, Bella. I love you. Very much. You're kind and beautiful and amazing and really warm and cuddly, but I just…"

"It's okay, Alice," I said, cutting her off with a sad little sniff. "I understand."

"You do?"

"Yeah. Like I said, I never expected anything to happen between us. I should be grateful just for today."

"I'm grateful too. And I'll always be your bestfriend and sister. That'll never change. Okay?"

"Okay."

Alice had cupped my face as she spoke and now she leaned and placed a kiss on my lips. I didn't close my eyes. I didn't kiss her back. I just tried really hard not to burst into tears.

Alice broke the kiss with a sigh.

"See, this is why I didn't want to talk about it today," she said. "Now everybody's all sad. Even little Alice."

She gestured at the plush tiger. It had gotten knocked over while we were making out. I picked it up and held it in my lap. Maybe little Vicky would be a better name after all. At least Victoria would never hurt me like this. Sure, she broke my arm and beat me and pulled out my hair and maybe one day she'd kill me, but that was nothing compared to this.

"I'm sorry," Alice said.

I shook my head and tried to smile. "It's alright."

"No, it's not. But let's try to be happy about this, okay? After all, at least now we understand each other. And maybe one day…"

"One day what?"

"Well, these feelings between us are still very fresh. So let's wait a while and see if they last. Jasper won't need me forever and sometimes marriages do dissolve. And if that happens, then maybe…"

She was rubbing my knee and she gave me a smile.

"Maybe one day we really can be together. Okay?"

"Okay."

It was probably just more false hope, but I was too dismayed and devastated to worry about it. Alice seemed satisfied for now and she even had the gall to kiss me again. But I couldn't complain about that either. It was nice to know I was so irresistible to her. Heartbreaking, but nice.

She broke the kiss and grinned.

"But until then, we still have tonight," she said. "Do you want to sleep in here?"

"Is that okay?"

"Sure. I'll stay with you till you fall asleep."

I nodded and wondered what exactly we were going to do in bed.

Vampires don't sleep.

Alice had hopped to her feet and she was getting me some pajamas so I could go have a shower. I had no idea if her invitation to sleep with her mean we'd be having sex as well, but at this point, I didn't think I was even capable of doing the right thing—assuming I could even figure out what that was. Alice seemed slightly confused on her morals as well. Under that sweet and innocent exterior, she was actually quite a nasty little vixen. Especially if she actually intended to have sex with me. If she did that, she would basically be cheating on her husband while taking advantage of a young woman who was confused, alone, and depending on her for protection and friendship. But she loved me, so I guess that made it okay. Yeah. Sure.

I cried a little in the shower, the tears washed away in the hot water pounding on my head. This was so unfair. Everything was simpler when all I had to worry about was Victoria trying to kill me. I almost wished Alice hadn't come to save me in the desert. Victoria had been so close to admitting she had feelings for me. And if she did, who knows what could've happened. Maybe she would've taken me home. And watched over me. And protected me from James. And turned me into a vampire eventually. But I snorted at all that and shook my head. Who was I kidding? She probably would've just killed me and left me in the desert.

By the time I came back to Alice's room Alice had changed into her pajamas as well. She was were wearing a white sleeptank that was tight across her small breasts and a pair of pink sleepshorts with white polka dots. Her legs were long and slim and achingly white and she was bent slightly to turn down the covers on the bed. I looked at her with an aching feeling in my chest. God, she was so cute. If she wanted sex tonight, she was certainly going to get it. I didn't even care if it would only hurt me in the long run. I didn't care about anything. I had been alone and unhappy too long. I would take even just a brief instant of bliss over nothing at all.

Alice smiled and told me to get into bed and I did. It was a small single bed, just barely room for two, and I watched her as she turned off the light. The room snapped away into darkness and then I felt her climb into the bed as well.

And that's it.

She wrapped her arms around me and held me, but that was all. I had one of my legs wrapped around hers under the covers and the silky coolness of her skin was maddening. I blinked in the dark, waiting, but nothing happened.

"I guess we're not having sex," I said flatly.

Alice giggled. "You guess correctly. As much as I'm sure we'd both like to, the scent would be unmistakable and way too difficult to explain."

"Oh."

"But don't worry. Just because it's not happening tonight, doesn't mean it'll never happen. After all, nobody can see the future. Aside from me, of course. And trust me, I've seen some interesting possibilities."

"Does that mean you've seen us naked together?"

"Not telling. Go to sleep, okay?"

"You're awful, Alice."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"I was only joking."

"I know. But I am awful. Everything I did today was so unfair. To you, to Jazz. Even to me. And that's not all. I never should've left you. I never should've let Edward take us all away. I never should've…"

I cut her off by placing my lips on hers.

It was the first kiss that I had properly instigated that day and in that kiss I forgave her for everything. I hoped she understood. She was Alice and I loved everything about Alice even if she wasn't quite as perfect and wholesome as she seemed.

"I'm sorry, Bella," she whispered into my lips. "For everything."

"It's okay, Alice. I love you."

"I love you too. Sweet dreams, okay?"

"Okay," I said, and then I closed my eyes and snuggled against her in the dark.

—

**AN: Long chapter this time, although to be honest, it didn't turn out as good as I hoped. I wanted it to be much more fluffy, with the two of them legitimately happy as they enjoyed one special day together. But as I was writing it, it felt more natural for Alice to be vilified a little. Poor little pixie. Moreover, I think Bella's orientation might've skipped ahead a few phases. I'd been trying to let it develop naturally (without overly focusing on it), but in this chapter all the kissing and touching was maybe just a bit too natural for her. Not sure. Originally I had a scene where Alice asks Bella if she's uncomfortable holding hands with a girl, and then they have a little chat about whether or not each other is gay, but I deleted it because I didn't want to get all heavy-handed with the labels. So far I've avoided using the word lesbian even once in this story, and it's probably best to keep it that way. Orientation isn't really the issue here, anyway. Like I said in the author note above, the theme of this story is more about loss and reunion. I'm sure we've all experienced it, losing someone you love and desperately needing them back. For me, it's a very poignant theme. I know about loss quite well. It's the reunion part that never happens, lol. Anyway, now I'm rambling, lol. Either way, hope the chapter was okay. Next update soon. ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Glad you guys liked the last chapter, lol. Here's hoping you'll like this one too. ;)**

—

Chapter 13:

—

When I woke up in the morning, Alice wasn't there anymore. Such a perfect metaphor for our relationship. Here today, gone tomorrow.

I struggled out of bed and back to my own room, or the room they had assigned me. Esme had done a bit of clothes shopping for me, just a few basics, and I grabbed a few things before trudging back out into the hallway and into the upstairs bathroom. I was still half asleep in the shower and I didn't really want to wake up. The date yesterday felt like such a dream. I was almost unsure if it really happened. Me and Alice, a romantic picnic. Hanging out at the fair. Kissing. Making out. Sad that it was all bullshit. I guess I should expect that from Alice by now. God, I'm such an idiot. How do I keep letting myself get hurt like this?

Once I was done in the shower, I went downstairs and found Alice in the kitchen with Esme. Esme was making me breakfast again—I was even starting to feel guilty about it—and Alice gave me a bright smile as if yesterday never happened.

"Hey, you," she said. "Sleep well?"

"Not really," I mumbled, not in any mood to pretend.

Alice dimmed a little, but she kept her smile in place. I sat down on the furthest stool away from her. Petty, I know, but fuck her. Bitch broke my heart and put it back together and then broke the damn thing again. Alice looked a little hurt.

"Want some coffee?" she asked.

"Nah," I said.

But she got up to get me some anyway and when she came back she sat down right beside me.

Esme made a bit of small talk as she served breakfast, remarking how much she herself missed the ability to eat human food. I gave her little replies to keep the social wheels greased, but my heart wasn't in it. She mentioned that Emmett and Jasper would be home today and I asked when exactly. Alice smiled and searched her visions and said they would return at precisely 8:23 according to the time on the microwave. It was 8:11 right now. The three of us shared glances and watched the time on the microwave and at 8:20 we heard a commotion in the barn outside and at 8:22 the screendoor flapped open and at 8:23—

"Jazz, you're home!"

Alice flew off her stool and threw her arms around him. My stomach clenched in such a vile spasm of jealousy that Jasper's eyes snapped up to look at me over her shoulder.

I blushed and looked away. I had to remember that Jasper's gift was empathy. He could sense emotions and if I wasn't careful, he would be able to sense how I feel. About his wife.

Emmett came in next and he grinned widely at me. "Well, look who it is! I see you're already stuffing your face. Esme, you know better than to let a human in the kitchen. She'll eat us out of house and home."

"Emmett," Esme chided him.

I smiled at his humor. Emmett was probably the only member of the Cullens that I couldn't blame at all for anything that had happened to me. He was a great guy, but we were never close, which meant he owed me nothing and never hurt me by leaving. I felt about him now the same way I felt about him before. He had come over to rustle my hair as if I was a pet that belonged to a neighbour and I shied away with a smile.

"Hey," I greeted him. "Is my dad okay?"

"Yup. We couldn't get too close to Forks because of those goddamn flea-bags—I think some of those mutts might've even followed us back—but he definitely got home safe."

That was a big relief. I didn't really have the highest faith in the wolves ability to protect him, but at least he wasn't completely defenceless. "Thanks," I said.

"Yeah, that goddamn Victoria, huh? Never screw with a vampire's mate, I guess. But don't worry about it, Bella, she'll be meeting up with him again as soon as I get my hands on her. What happened to your arm, anyway?"

He only seemed to just notice it was in a big red cast. I looked at it and didn't really know how to reply. He didn't even know that James was still alive. I looked at Alice. She still had her arms around Jasper's neck and Jasper was holding her waist. I bit back the jealousy and she slowly let him go and went serious.

"Actually, I really need to talk to you guys now that you're home," she said. "There's been…developments."

Emmett frowned. "Like what?"

Alice hesitated. She looked like she didn't know how to explain it, either. She was looking back and forth between us and finally her eyes settled on me. "Bella, did you want to go play some video games in my room while we talk? It might be easier if…"

I nodded and slipped off the stool. Emmett looked worried now and Jasper gave me a nod. I realized it was a delayed hello and I nodded back as I left the room.

I went up to Alice's room like she said, but I didn't play any video games. I just sat on the edge of the bed with the plush tiger in my lap and thought about things. In hindsight, it was probably a pretty bad idea for Alice to wait so long before telling them about James. I mean, what if James had actually come for my dad? He would've taken Emmett and Jasper by surprise, which in turn would've placed my father in even more danger. I guess that typical Alice. Not a fan a serious conversations, that girl. After our pseudo-date yesterday, I knew from experience how much she didn't like to talk about bad things.

Bad things. I snorted and shook my head. I guess that meant I was a bad thing to her. That my feelings were bad things too. How could she do this to me? If she had no intentions of leaving Jasper, she shouldn't have done what she did yesterday. She just shouldn't have. It was wrong, it was immoral, it was…

I sighed. It was amazing. Spending the day with her like that. Holding her hand. Kissing her. And she did say that maybe one day we really could be together. It was possible. Maybe it was just false hope and she didn't really mean it, but I was sure she did like me. She even said so. She even said she loved me. She even said that if it wasn't for Jasper's fragile state as a vegetarian, she would definitely give a relationship with me a try. That had to mean something, didn't it?

I looked across the room at the dresser. There were a few framed photographs there and I got up to look at them more closely. They were all from Forks. One of them was me and her at prom, our arms wrapped around each other's waist. Her smiling brightly, me smiling not so brightly. Looking at the picture gave me a pain in my chest. We looked so cute together. There were other photos there as well and I picked up another one from prom. This one showed her and Jasper. I held them side by side to compare and I was somewhat mystified at the similarities. Alice looked exactly the same in each picture, same exact smile. And me and Jasper looked the same as well. Not physically, of course. He was a dude for starters, and his hair was blond. But our smiles…we both wore the exact same shade of happiness, as if being close to Alice was great but something of a strain as well. Meanwhile, Alice's own smile was as bright and innocent as a child's.

I put the pictures down and opened a drawer idly. I wasn't the type to snoop, but I was bored. The drawer wasn't that interesting. Socks. Hair brush. There was a shoebox off to the side and the label was Louis Vuitton. My, my. Not the kind of shoes you'd wear on a farm. I opened the box to check them out, but there weren't any shoes inside it. Instead it seemed to be filled with some kind of memorabilia.

The first thing I saw was some kind of old handgun. An old wild west revolver. I lifted it out and chuckled. I remembered that Alice said she grew up in Mississippi, but she never said she was a bandita. I took the box out and sat down on the floor to go through it. I didn't think she'd mind, but pretty soon I realized that they probably weren't Alice's souvenirs. There were too many things that belonged to a man. Maybe they were Jasper's things? I guess Alice was keeping them for him. I spread of few of the things on the carpet. There was a dried raven's wing that was fashioned into a sun-visor. A few old rifle balls. A pouch of something that might've been gunpowder. Strange souvenirs.

There was one thing that I didn't even know what it was. It was a necklace of some kind, maybe Native American. It was just a plain string that was threaded through a series of black discs or pendants. I looked at one up close, but I didn't know what it was. Little discs of wood?

There was a soft knock on the door and I looked up.

I was expecting it to be Alice, but it was Jasper.

"Oh, hi," I said, as he came in. He looked at the shoebox I was snooping through and I realized I better apologize. "Sorry, I was just…"

He shook his head to wave it off. "It's alright, it's nothing private," he said. "Actually, it's me who need to apologize. Alice has filled me in on what happened."

I had been putting the things back into the shoebox and now I stopped. God, I was so sick of apologies. I looked up at him, trying not to frown. The awkwardness was amplified by the fact that I was sitting on the floor and he was one tall motherfucker. He seemed to notice my discomfort and he sat down on the edge of the bed to even the playing field a little.

"I understand you must be sick of apologies," he said, "but I thought you deserved one from me in particular. James being alive is my fault. Emmett and I were in such a rush that day that we…"

"Yeah, I get it," I said. "What's done is done, alright?"

He nodded. He waited a moment and then spoke again. "There's something else I wanted to apologize about as well," he said. "That incident on your birthday."

I shook my head and looked down. I really didn't want to talk about any of this crap. I sighed and realized I still had that weird necklace in my hands. What the hell were these little black things, anyway?

"I'm truly am sorry," Jasper went on. "If I hadn't lost control like that, Edward never would've…"

"No," I said, interrupting him. "I don't want to hear it, okay? Anyway, it wasn't even your fault. You had an accident. It was Edward who freaked out and started making everybody's decisions for them."

I had meant to snap at him, but I realized I had just accidently accepted his apology. He smiled and lowered his eyes demurely.

"You're very generous to see it like that," he said.

"Yeah, well…"

I trailed off, still mightily awkward at all this. I was in love with the guy's wife and he had tried to kill me once. For god sake, can't we just change the subject?

"So what is all this stuff, anyway?" I asked, referring to the shoebox in my lap.

"Souvenirs," he said. "From my human days."

I lifted out the revolver and looked at it. It was huge and very heavy, as big as the cast on my arm. "Were you a cowboy or something?"

"Something like that."

"I didn't know guns were this big back then."

"It's a dragoon pistol. For cavalry."

I nodded and put it back down. I picked up the string of black discs again. "What are these?"

"Ears."

I winced and looked at him. "Excuse me?"

He smiled and took the necklace from me as if to admire the old memories. "It's a scapular. It was traditional in the company I rode in."

I was frowning at the dried black pendants. "What kind of ears?"

"Human."

Eww. I guess I figured they were human, but seriously? Human ears on a necklace? I know history was a barbaric place, but damn.

"They don't look like human ears," I said.

"Well. They're very old by now."

I nodded. I had to admit, I was very curious about how he came to own such a thing. Did he harvest the ears himself? From whom? Was it really a normal thing to do back then?

He must've noticed the questions in my face because he smiled and handed the necklace back to me.

"I wasn't always a soldier," he said. "Before I joined the army, I grew up in Texas. Mother dead. Drunk father. I was even younger than you are now when I ran away from home. Fourteen, I think. I never knew my exact birth year, much less the date."

I nodded and felt a strange sympathy for him. That must've been pretty rough, to be so young and alone back in those days.

"Where'd you go?" I asked. "After you ran away."

"Mexico," he said. "This was just after the Mexican war. At first I was just drifting, looking for trouble. Eventually I signed up with a company of filibusters who convinced me the war wasn't over and we set out for Sonora. But in crossing the river we were ambushed and massacred by comanches."

Shit. Massacred? Damn.

"I was one of the few survivors," he went on. "I wound up arrested and thrown into the carcel at Chihuahua. That's a kind of prison. I would've died there but luckily there was a gang of scalphunters in town who were recruiting former soldiers. I lied about my experience and they took me on board. After that we just set out, hunting Indians. The ears on the necklace were apaches."

A little bit of my sympathy dried up at that. "So you were one of the bad guys?"

He chuckled once. "Not in my mind," he said. "I was just a kid. And if you'd ever seen a comanche ambush, you might think twice about it too. Watching an entire company of men slaughtered, scalped, and sodomized as they died by a bunch of savages in animal skins has a tendency to sour a man on political correctness. Not that such a thing even existed back then."

I went quiet at that. I was well aware of revisionist history that painted white men as the villains, but…

Jasper chuckled and smiled. "Although we certainly weren't a bunch of choirboys, I'll tell you that," he said. "And we didn't exactly nitpick on whether a tribe was peaceful or not, either. We just killed them. Men, women. Children tottering and blinking into the pistolfire. Hell, after a while we didn't even fuss between the apaches and the spaniards. Mexicans had black hair, that's all we needed to know. Scalped them all and sold the scalps right back to the governors who'd hired us to protect the very people we left dead in the pueblos behind us."

"That's horrible," I whispered.

Jasper smiled to himself. Not even sadly, but rather just reminiscing about the good old days. "Yeah," he said. "You hear stories about the west but those stories can't compare to what it really was. One time I tried to save a little boy from a camp we'd raided. I carried him in the bow of my saddle for nine days until an infection in his leg grew so bad that he required to be shot. Hard times. Even when a man tried to be good, it was the land itself that didn't have much patience for it."

I didn't reply to that. I didn't know how.

Jasper sighed. "Within a year it was our own turn to be slaughtered. They came at dawn. It wasn't even a fight. Most of us were simply decapitated as we sat up out of our blankets. Me and a few other men managed to flee into the desert and we fought a running engagement all the way back to Texas. I had a satchel of gold and silver that took another year or two to drink away and by then the South had gone to war. I signed up and with my experience I quickly became a captain and a respectable young officer."

I was still holding the necklace in my hands. I looked down at it and looked up at Jasper. Jasper took a moment to consider his words and then he leaned forward slightly.

"See, a man like Edward will always be overly-concerned with his own morality. The thirst plays tricks on him. Because he hungers for human blood, part of him will always believe that deep down he is simply a monster waiting to be unleashed. And he worries about that and he fights against it. But the only reason he worries is because his goodness has nothing to grapple with. He doesn't know what real evil is. He's never seen it, he's never felt it. So how could he possibly hope to recognize it in himself? He can't. Edward is nothing but a little boy afraid of the dark."

My brow furrowed. Jasper smiled and leaned back again.

"But me, I've never had any doubts about that kind of thing," he said. "Because I know what monsters look like. I've seen them and I used to be one. Alice likes to think that she changed me. Made me a better man. But the truth is, people don't change. It's impossible. Oh, she saved me alright. Like an angel, she came to me and raised me up and set my feet on the path of righteousness. But how she did that was by giving me a set a guidelines. Alice wouldn't like it if I did certain things. So I stopped doing those things. And then I learnt which things make her happy. Which things make her smile and love me more. Do you see what I'm trying to say?"

I honestly had no idea and I felt like I was missing something very important.

"I'm not sure," I said.

Jasper smiled and leaned forward one more time. "A wolf can never become a sheep. At best all it can do is pretend to be a sheep in order to get along with the other sheep."

"Alice is a sheep?"

"A lamb. A lamb that I happen to be in love with very much. She is, quite literally, the light of my life. My only reason to live. And there isn't a thing in this world that I wouldn't do—or become—to keep her."

I sat very still. He was watching my face.

"Do you see now?" he asked.

I nodded, even though I still wasn't sure. Because he couldn't possibly be trying to intimidate me, right? Jasper wouldn't do that. But it was those words he used…

To_ keep_ her.

It was the word keep. And the way he looked at me. He must've sensed that I had feelings for Alice. And this whole speech was some kind of warning. Stay away from my wife or…

…or what?

He couldn't possibly be threatening to hurt me? Could he?

I swallowed the lump in my throat and put the necklace back in the shoebox before replacing the lid on it. "Yeah, well," I said. "I shouldn't have been snooping around."

I stood up and put the box back in the drawer I'd found it in. Jasper rose behind me and spoke to my back.

"It's okay," he said. "I just hope the two of us can become friends from now on. Alice loves you very much. And there's nothing I wouldn't do to make her happy."

I shut the drawer and turned around to nod at him. To smile. He looked at me for a long moment, as if to make sure, I understood, and then he turned and left the room.

—

That night the Cullens held a family meeting, now that they were all back under the same roof. I had been invited along this time and I sat alone on one of the couches. Rosalie was leaning by the stairs, not saying a word or even taking an interest in the outcome of my fate, and Carlisle and Esme were sitting together on the sofa. Alice and Jasper were sitting together as well, cuddled up like teenagers, and I kept glancing at them. I was still rattled by that encounter with Jasper but I had convinced myself that I must've misunderstood his intentions. Jasper was one of the good vampires. A vegetarian. And he loved Alice. There was no need to be afraid of him. And yet…

"Bella?"

I snapped out of my musings and looked at Alice. I didn't catch what she said but she smiled and repeated it.

"The first thing we need to decide is about you becoming a vampire."

"Okay," I said. "When do we do it?"

They all looked at me. Emmett smiled and looked away. Carlisle and Esme shared a glance. Alice cleared her throat, glancing at Jasper, and then she got up and moved across the room to sit next to me.

"Actually," she said, "we were thinking it's probably best to hold back on that."

I sighed. This shit again?

"No, seriously, Bella," Alice went on, taking my hands. "The newborn phase is very rough and it's not something you want to go through in a crisis."

I blushed slightly at the hand touching. I guess it was nice to know that even with her husband in the room she still couldn't keep her hands off me. Alice smiled and tilted her head.

"Let us take care of James and Victoria first, okay?"

I frowned. "But doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose?"

"What do you mean?"

"The whole reason I want to be a vampire is so I can kill James myself. He killed my mother, Alice."

I tugged my hands back and looked at the rest of the family, searching their faces for anyone who understood. Emmett nodded at me, as if he was about to speak on my behalf, but then a chilling glance from Rosalie closed his mouth again.

Carlisle shifted on the sofa to look at me. "Becoming a vampire is a long term commitment, Bella," he said. "If your reasons are as short term as that, perhaps it would be best not to rush into it."

I narrowed my eyes at him warily. "If I wanted Edward's input, I'd call him."

Emmett grinned at that. "Speaking of the drama queen, any news on him?"

Alice shook her head. "No. In the last vision I had of him, he was staring into a lake very sadly. It was actually quite moving."

I snorted loudly and without sympathy. Rosalie's hatred of me seemed to intensify across the room and even Esme went a little disapproving. Alice cleared her throat, trying not to smile, and went on.

"Edward just needs some time alone, he'll be back eventually. For now, we need to decide if Bella becomes a vampire." She turned to face me. "Bella? It's your decision. You have all the facts and you know how we feel about it. It's totally up to you."

I frowned, my arms folded. Everybody was looking at me, but I found myself hesitating. Which was typical. Now that the choice was finally mine, I was having doubts. Maybe it really was best to stay human and get old and die. Then at least I wouldn't have to worry about whether or not Alice will ever love me.

I looked at her. Her face was perfectly pleasant and open.

"What do you think?" I asked her.

"Well, I think you should at least wait until after we take care of James and Victoria," she said. "I know you want to help us fight against them, but I think we'd have better chances if we focus on them entirely without worrying about you going on a rampage."

I sighed and shook my head. She made sense, she really did, but this was my mother we were talking about. Just thinking about what happened to her made my eyes sting. I looked at Alice.

"I don't know if I can do that," I said. "I mean, how would you feel if he killed one of your family? Wouldn't you want revenge?"

"You _are_ family, Bella," Alice said, placing a hand on my knee. "I know exactly how you feel. But I also know that protecting you is the most important thing and that includes protecting you from yourself."

I shook my head again. That sounded so much like something Edward would say, but this wasn't Edward. This was Alice, and Alice really did…

My thoughts cut off as a loud wolf howl came from outside.

Instantly Emmett and Jasper rose to their feet. The howl came again, louder and closer, and Emmett said:

"The fuck?"

Esme shot him a glance of disapproval at his language. Jasper started toward the kitchen. Alice rose to follow. I stood up as well and so did Esme and Carlisle.

"There's no wolves in Alaska," Emmett said. "Those goddamn mutts must've followed us from Forks."

The Quileutes?

Everyone was moving to the kitchen and went with them. Jasper was already there, watching out the window. I looked too, just in time to see several large wolves saunter out of the woods at the back of the property. There were three humans with them, all fully clothed, and I recognized one of them as Jake.

Jasper snorted and nodded toward the figures gathering in the moonlight outside.

"Yonder come the redskins," he said.

Alice cringed and touched his shoulder. "Jazz, this isn't the eighteen hundreds anymore, okay?"

"And you ain't in Texas, buddy," Emmett added.

I was staring out the window at Jake. At least I knew he was okay. I'd been so worried about him.

Emmett was the first one to push through the screendoor and we followed him out onto the porch and further into the darkened meadow where the Quileutes had assembled just past the edge of the forest. The taller of the three humans was Sam, the pack's alpha, and the other two were Jake and an asshole I recognized as Paul.

"Bella!" Jake called out, starting forward a few steps but keeping a safe distance. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" I called back, my voice full of concern. "Are you?" 

Emmett snorted a chuckle. "Well, isn't this exactly like the Capulets and the Montagues? Go on, Juliet," he said, nudging me with his elbow, "go give Romeo a kiss."

I blushed and Jake back down a bit. Why did everyone assume we were boyfriend and girlfriend? Did we have some kind of chemistry I wasn't aware of?

Carlisle took a step forward. His voice came out clear and firm.

"What are you doing here?"

Sam, the alpha, tossed his chin at me. "We came to collect Bella."

Alice scoffed and took my arm possessively. "You're not taking Bella anywhere. You dogs have failed at protecting her once too often."

"Alice!" I said, snatching my arm away from her. "Jake almost died trying to protect me!"

Alice looked apologetic but she didn't back down. "I know he tried, Bella, but he didn't succeed, did he?"

"No, and neither did any of you," I retorted.

Alice seemed surprised and a little hurt. "So what are you saying? You want to go with _them_?"

She pointed at the Quileutes. The wolves were about six in number, all formed in a loose ring around their alpha. I looked at them. My eyes landed on Jake. It had only been a week since I saw him last but I had never realized till this moment how much I had missed him and his warmth and his unconditional love and support.

"Bella, come with us," he said. "We'll take you home and protect you. I promise."

He nodded encouragingly and in that moment I truly did want to go with him. Edward had abandoned me, Alice was leading me on with lies. Jake was the only person in the world who truly loved and cared about me to the exclusion of all else. The only person who—

Alice stepped in front of me. "Bella isn't going anywhere with you mutts."

A low growl came from the ring of wolves. A few teeth glistened in the moonlight. Her words seemed to have provoked the whole pack, Paul in particular.

"Shut the fuck up, leech," he told her. "No one's talking to you."

Sam was the only one who was unperturbed and now he snapped at his own friend.

"Quiet," he said to Paul.

Carlisle also resumed command of his coven with a glare over his shoulder at Alice. Alice settled down and slinked back to my side. I glared at her too and she gave me her apology eyes.

Carlisle took another step forward and spoke reasonably to Sam. "I can appreciate your concern for Ms Swan," he said, "but she is here because she wants to be. She's free to leave at any time or make any other arrangements she wishes."

Sam didn't allow himself to be sweet-talked. "Be that as it may, we're here to personally offer her safe passage back to Forks and away from you and your toxic leeches."

Emmett snorted. He looked like he wanted to punch someone. Jasper was looking at Paul and he hadn't taken his eyes off him ever since the brash young wolf told his wife to shut up.

"Come on, Bells," Jake said, holding out his hand. "These people have hurt you too much already. Just come home with me."

I looked at the vampires in indecision. I looked at Jake.

"Please," he said, almost whispering. "I love you."

It was a bit of an awkward thing to say at such a moment and even the wolves shifted in the grass uncomfortably. I looked at Jake, my heart breaking. I knew how he felt about me, but I couldn't go to him. It wouldn't be fair. Leading him on and exploiting his feelings would make me no better than Alice.

"Alright, easy there, loverboy," Emmett said mockingly. "Let's not turn this into a romance novel."

Paul scoffed, glaring at the collection of vampires. "You know, maybe we should take these leeches out once and for all."

"Try it, buddy," Emmett said, as if he actually wanted him to.

"We got you out numbered, big guy. And I don't see your little mind reader anywhere, do I?"

"We didn't come to fight," Sam said with authority.

Alice snorted at him disdainfully and flicked her hand at Paul. "Then maybe you should get this little puppy under control."

"Screw you, leech," Paul said to her. "I might be a puppy, but you're the bitch."

Okay, that pissed me off. Nobody talks to Alice like—

Jasper stepped forward. Past Emmett, past Carlisle. He stepped to the center of the space between the wolves and the vampires and he looked at Paul and spoke with a dangerous softness.

"Say one more word to my wife…I'll kill you."

Somehow this threat seemed more honest than any of the other threats thrown around that night. Everybody in the meadow seemed to understand the gravity of it. Everybody but Paul.

"That sounded like a threat, didn't it?" he said to Jake.

Jake looked worried. "Paul, just—"

But instantly Paul exploded into wolf form and launched himself at Jasper.

Emmett and Alice began to dash forward but Carlisle flung out an arm.

"No!"

Emmett and Alice froze, gritting their teeth. Sam wore a dark frown and it was probably only his telepathic commands that held the other wolves in check. They were growling and watching the fight with drool dripping from their teeth in the moonlight. Sam never called back Paul and Carlisle never called back Jasper. Maybe they were both hoping the fight would settle something and give either side an edge of dominance in the negotiations.

It didn't last long. My human eyes could hardly keep track. Paul's wolf form was much larger than Jasper, but Jasper was more fluid. I could hear raging snarls and wet chops of teeth as Paul tried to sink his teeth into Jasper's marble hard flesh. Jasper fought in pure silence, which was somehow more menacing. They were twisting and writhing in the grass and then suddenly there was a loud snapping sound and a wolf whimper.

Paul hopped back with his forepaw broken and seethed at Jasper. Jasper stood there without a scratch on him.

"Enough, Paul," Sam said.

But Paul only growled and lunged again from three feet. This time he was at even more of a disadvantage and seconds later there was another snap and a loud howl of pain that was cut off as Jasper grabbed him by his tail and swung him around and bashed him into the grass, wielding this huge wolf like a pillow in a pillow fight as he just repeatedly swung and bashed his entire bulk into the ground, again and again and again with sickening thuds and cracking bones.

"Jasper, stop!" Carlisle called out.

Jasper stopped. The wolves had gone silent, their humiliation and fear overpowering their anger. Jasper backed up slightly, his face utterly unblemished in the moonlight. No scratch, no frown. Nothing.

Paul was twitching in the grass and his breathing sounded wrong. Carlisle quickly came forward to examine him and he knelt down. The wolf growled at him in a strangled whimper but he was unable to move. A pink froth was forming on his teeth and Carlisle put a hand on his ribs.

"Oh no," he said. "One of his ribs has punctured a lung."

Sam came forward, frowning furiously. "Get away from him."

Carlisle didn't listen. "Tell him to shift back into human form. I can save him, if you'll let me. Please, hurry. I can't operate on a wolf."

Sam seemed unsure. Carlisle spoke over his shoulder to his own coven.

"Alice, run and get my emergency bag," he said.

Alice turned to the house but Jasper put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'll go," he said, but he didn't run. He walked back to the house in a slow saunter as if he couldn't care less about the fate of the wolf and disappeared through the kitchen door.

Alice looked at me and I'm sure our expressions were mirrors of each other. Fear. Fretfulness. Alice had been one of the first to provoke the wolves, but I'm sure she never wanted anything like this to happen.

Esme had her hand over her mouth and even Rosalie seemed concerned. Emmett had his arm around her for support and even he didn't like to see the wolf in pain over such trivial bickering either.

"I said get away from him," Sam said again.

Carlisle looked up at him, his hand still poised over Paul's ribs. "It'll be too late if you don't let me help him right now," he said. "he'll be dead before he has a chance to regenerate. Tell him to shift back into human form. After I patch him up, we have to get him into the house."

Paul growled in defiance, spitting pink froth. Sam didn't reply. Jake was almost panicking.

"Paul, just do it, man! He's trying to help you!"

The kitchen door clattered in the distance and we all looked over. Jasper was coming across the meadow toward us but he wasn't carrying a doctor's bag.

He was carrying a gun.

It was the same longbarrelled revolver I had seen in the shoebox this morning, the one he had explained was a cavalry dragoon pistol. He was loading it as he walked over, slipping the brass casings into each of the cylinders, and everybody was exchanging nervous glances. Alice was most nervous of all.

"Jasper…"

Jasper walked past her without speaking. "Step away from there, Carlisle," he said.

Carlisle moved back, perhaps not even fully believing what Jasper was going to do. The wolf growled and whimpered, his cracked yellow eye swinging up to see the muzzle of the gun leer down at him. Jasper cocked back the hammer with his thumb and—

The blast was enormous. A whole flock of nightbirds rose up from the woods and fluttered away with thin cries. Alice and I jumped. The wolves were staring. Jasper had shot him through the skull. A spatter of blood, black in the moonlight, erupted around the wolf's head and it went completely still with its eye shut.

Jasper raised the gun at the other wolves. The wolves began to growl again. Jasper nodded at the carcass.

"Take him and go," he said.

Sam looked at his pack. Two of them moved by telepathic command and came forward to snatch their jaws around the ankle of their dead brother. They began dragging the body back through the grass, leaving a trail of blood and brain matter.

Jake was trying not to cry, glaring at Jasper in seething rage. Jasper hardly seemed to know he was there. He had his gun on Sam and Sam turned his eyes to Carlisle.

"Paul acted on his own wilfulness," he said. "But from now on, none of you are welcome in Forks. If you show your faces again, you will be killed on sight."

Then he transformed into a wolf and lifted his snout in a howl that spread over all that sad little meadow. Jake was looking at me and we were both almost in tears. Then he turned away and morphed into a wolf and followed his alpha as the rest of the wolves loped away into the forest.

Jasper lowered his gun. He turned to his coven.

There was at least ten feet of grass between them and more than ever he looked like an outsider, a guest, not a true vegetarian. A wolf among sheep. He sauntered back over to join them and Emmett chuckled and shook his head in something close to admiration but not quite.

"Damn, man," he said.

Alice looked up at him with a face full of sadness. "Jasper, why did you do that?"

He didn't patronize her by trying to act remorseful, he just kept his voice soft and reasonable. "He was going to die anyway, Alice. There was nothing we could've done."

"You didn't have to kill him, Jazz."

"He attacked me. And he insulted you."

He went to touch her but she recoiled.

"Oh god, I wish you hadn't done that," she said, and then she turned and ran toward the house.

Jasper sighed and looked at the rest of his family. Emmett didn't seem to blame him much and neither did Rosalie but Carlisle and Esme were both very dismayed. He turned to me. I didn't know how I felt. Paul had never been my BFF, but that was a pretty brutal execution.

Jasper turned to the house where his wife had fled but I found myself stopping him.

"Let me talk to her first," I said. "She's pretty upset."

He looked at me for a moment and gave me a nod. I nodded back and started jogging toward the house.

I came in through the kitchen and tripped on a stool in the darkness, causing it to clatter on the tiles. Muttering to myself, I picked it back up again. I felt very weird, deep in my bones. I wasn't sure why I wasn't more traumatized by what I had seen. Maybe I had just gotten used to these things. Either way, I found myself very strangely on Jasper's side. Maybe I just admired the fact that he wasn't a pussy like the rest of the Cullens.

Alice was upstairs, in her room. I entered slowly, rapping on the door softly. She was sitting on her bed, arms wrapped around her knees like a little girl.

"Hey," I said. "You okay?"

She shook her head. "I can't believe Jasper did that. He was just a kid."

I sat down on the edge of the bed. "I knew that guy in Forks, Alice," I said. "Paul was…an asshole."

I shrugged helplessly. It wasn't much of an effective argument and an even worse way to speak of the dead. I even surprised myself at how callous I was. Alice lifted her eyes to me with disapproval.

"And that means he deserved to die?" she asked.

"No, but he did start the whole thing. And maybe Jasper was right. Maybe Carlisle couldn't have saved him anyway. Bottom line, Jasper was defending himself."

Alice stared at me in disbelief. As if she couldn't believe how naïve and stupid I was being. "Jasper wasn't defending himself, Bella," she said. "He shot that boy in cold blood. How can you condone that?"

"I don't, but…"

"And why are you defending him, anyway? I thought…"

She trailed off, embarrassed. I snorted.

"Thought what? That because I love you, I'd automatically hate him? Why should I? It wasn't Jasper who used me and led me on and broke my heart a couple different times."

"Bella…"

Alice went to touch my hand. I snatched it off the bedspread and shook my head.

"Enough of this crap," I said. "I know you're upset because you saw someone get shot, but we have more important things to worry about right now, okay? James is still out there and he doesn't only want to kill me, he wants to kill you guys as well. And now we've made enemies with the Quileutes for life, which means I can't even count on them to protect my…"

I trailed off as an icy cold feeling swept over my body.

"Your dad," Alice whispered, realizing the same thing. "There's no one guarding him right now, is there?"

—

**AN: I have mixed feelings about this chapter, lol. I loved writing Jasper's little backstory, but at the same time, isn't it just completely stupid that a person would keep those kinds of things as souvenirs? I mean, a string of ears? Seriously? Lol. Not to mention when he shot the wolf. Cool moment (if I do say so myself) but it's completely ridiculous to think a gun that old would still work. Actually, there's a ton of things to nitpick in this chapter. Like, how did the wolves get to Alaska so fast? And why didn't they realize they were leaving Forks completely open? Pretty sloppy wolves, huh? Lol. Still, if you can look past the contrivances and appreciate the pulpiness, I think it was a pretty good chapter. This version of Jasper is obviously a little different than the one you might've been expecting, but he's certainly spiced things up. And don't forget Vicky, lol. As the cliffhanger implied, things are about to happen. ;) **


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Oh my god, I can't believe someone actually noticed Jasper's backstory was from Blood Meridian! You should've signed in, I would've PMed you. Just to clarify to everyone else, Jasper's backstory was heavily inspired by certain events in a novel called Blood Meridian. Kind of like a homage, you know? I've been trying to squeeze it into a story for years, lol. It's my favourite novel of all time, which is weird, because generally I'm only interested in romance and femmeslash. It's pretty much the only western I've ever read, lol. I like it mostly for the writing itself. Despite it's ultra-dark themes, there's never been a more powerfully poetic novel than Blood Meridian. It's literally insane how incredible the artistry of that book is. If you like literature, you should definitely check it out.**

**Anyway, lol. Here's the chapter. ;)**

—

Chapter: 14

—

The rest of the family had just entered the kitchen by the time Alice and I came hurrying downstairs. On any other night, Esme might've offer to make me some dinner, but when she saw our faces she said:

"Alice, Bella, what's wrong?"

Alice had been holding my hand down the stairs, almost dragging me. Now she let it go. "We need to get to Forks right now. Charlie is…"

"Oh, shit," Emmett said. "Those fucking mutts."

He spun back to the door, as if he wanted to go back out there and whip some wolf ass, but Jasper was still standing just within the doorway. The gun was dangling in his hand and he was very quiet at these developments, almost like a child who hoped his misbehaviour might go unnoticed in the wake of some new crisis.

"Emmett, not now," Alice said. "We have to move fast. All of us."

Carlisle frowned thoughtfully over his glasses. "What about Bella? We'd move faster without her, but we can't leave her here. Bella's the real target, let's not forget. Maybe some of us should remain behind to guard her?"

"I'm not staying here," I interjected before they could even get such an idea into their heads. "This is my dad we're talking about."

Emmett tried to be tactful. "No offence, Bella babe, but if something goes down, you ain't exactly gonna be a big help."

"So give me a weapon or something. A blowtorch, a can of gas, hairspray and a book of matches. Anything's better than nothing."

Emmett looked intrigued at that but Esme shook her head gently. "You'd still be in danger, dear. We can't expose you to that."

"Oh, fuck you," I said.

Dead silence.

It was like a bolt of shock hit everybody in the room. Jaws dropped. They stared at me. I glared at them and launched into a tirade.

"You people never had a problem putting me in danger when Edward said so. You did what he told you, so now you're gonna do what I tell you. If I wanna be in danger, that's exactly where I'm gonna be."

Emmett grinned excitably. He looked like he wanted to shout out 'You go, girl!' Rosalie had her arms crossed angrily and Alice seemed hesitant. Esme's face darkened slightly and it was the first time she had ever lost patience with me.

"With all due respect, Bella, the danger isn't only to you," she said. "My _family_ will be in danger as well."

That was the last straw for me. I shook my head in disgust. "You know what? Screw you people. All you care about is yourselves. I'm out of here. Let me borrow a car and a map and you'll never see me again."

I pushed past Alice and she grabbed my arm hysterically. "Bella, please, wait—!"

I yanked my arm away. Even the desperation and the sheer _need _in her voice couldn't sway me, but I came up short against Jasper. He was still standing in front of the door. I glared up at him, daring him to stop me. No light had been turned on in the kitchen and we were all standing mostly in darkness. Jasper looked at his family and then he looked at me. He smiled slightly and then he turned to Carlisle.

"We should do what Bella says," he told him. "We have no right to keep her away from her father."

I let out the breath I was holding and backed down. Of all the people to be on my side, I never thought it would be Jasper. That strange story he'd told me about his youth as a scalphunter was still fresh on my mind, and even though he might've been trying to intimidate me away from his wife, it was nice to know he was genuine in how he cared about me as a friend.

I turned back to the Cullens. They were exchanging glances. Alice seemed hurt at how I had brushed her off and her eyes were huge and yellow in the darkness. I gave her a glance, feeling bad but not admitting it, and looked at the others. Esme and Carlisle didn't seem as cordial to me as they once had been, but Emmett seemed as strongly on my side as Jasper had been.

"I agree with Jasper," he said. "She'd be worse than useless in a fight, but if she wants to go, she should go. And the clock's ticking, so we better get moving."

"I'll go first," Jasper said. "I can keep an eye on Charlie until the rest of you show up with Bella."

"But you'll be completely alone," Alice said in concern. "What if James and Victoria show up?"

Jasper gave a casual little shrug. "I'll take them out," he said simply.

Emmett snorted at that, as if he wanted to quickly interject that he could probably solo two vampires at once as well, but managed to restrain himself. Rosalie didn't. She looked at Jasper dryly.

"You think you can? On your own?"

Carlisle held up a hand. "I think you're all missing the point here," he said. "James and Victoria aren't the only dangers. The Quileutes said we aren't welcome there anymore. Least of all you, Jasper."

Jasper smiled and looked at the kitchen floor. It would've been a perfect moment to spit some tobacco if he was still a cowboy. "I'll take my chances," he said. "The life of Bella's father is at stake. Not to mention Bella herself."

Alice turned to me and took my hands hastily.

"Bella, what do you think?" she asked. "Does this plan sound good to you?"

It felt like she was only trying to suck up by asking my opinion. I took my hands back and frowned.

"Is it out of the question to turn me into a vampire quickly?" I asked.

"Yes," she said. "The transformation takes five days at least, you know that."

I sighed and shook my head. This would all be so much easier if I was a vampire. Then I wouldn't even need the Cullens. I wouldn't need anyone. I could just go away and do my own thing. No Edward, no Alice. No Victoria. Just me.

"Bella?" Alice urged gently.

I sighed again and nodded at Jasper. "Then I think Jasper's right. If he gets there first and the rest of us catch up…"

Alice turned to Jasper. Only minutes earlier she had been crying in her room over how he had coldly executed a teenage boy, but now it all seemed forgotten. "Will you be alright, Jazz?"

"I'll be fine," he said, giving her a soft smile.

Alice nodded and took his hand. It was the hand with the gun in it and she gently pried the gun loose from him. "This won't do any good against vampires," she said. "I think it's time we got rid of that awful box of souvenirs anyway, don't you think?"

He gave her a nod and a smile. "Anything you want," he said, and then he gave her a kiss.

It was just a polite goodbye kiss. After all, he was heading out into potential danger and she was his wife. His mate. His everything. Still. The sight made my stomach twist in jealousy and I fought hard to try and supress it. I don't know why I should even be jealous, anyway. She had made it perfectly clear that there was nothing between us but lies and bullshit.

Jasper must've sensed my jealousy, because he glanced at me as he broke the kiss. There was nothing threatening about the glance though and even if there was I wouldn't care, not in the mood I was in. Jasper gave Alice another smile and turned to Esme and Carlisle.

"I think Esme and Carlisle ought to stay here, though," he said.

Carlisle frowned puzzledly. "Why?"

"As decoys," Jasper said. "After all, we don't even know if Victoria and James have any interest in Bella's father. They might even be in Alaska by now, waiting to strike. So if Esme and Carlisle remain behind, they may think Bella is still here too, which will buy us some time to secure Bella's father."

Esme didn't like the sound of it. "Don't you think we should stick together?"

"I think me, Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett will be more than enough to take them out."

"Yeah," Emmett said, turning to his faux-parents. "And anyway, you guys would be even worse in a fight than Bella would be."

Carlisle adjusted his glasses self-consciously and Esme frowned in disapproval. I smirked, trying not to gloat. Even if they were vampires, they didn't look particularly fierce. They looked like a couple of middleclass conservative douchebags, to be honest.

Jasper turned to me and I looked up at him. "Don't worry about your father, I'll keep him safe," he said. "And if James and Victoria show up, rest assured that this time I promise to finish the job."

He turned and opened the screendoor.

"Wait," I said suddenly.

He turned back. Everyone looked at me. I felt really embarrassed about what I was about to say, but I had to say it.

"Don't hurt Victoria," I said.

A few eyebrows raised around the room. I blushed. Jasper was frowning, as if he didn't understand, and I realized I better elaborate a little.

"If you do see them, don't hurt Victoria," I said. "Only James."

There wasn't any time to argue, so he only nodded before pushing out the screendoor. I just hoped he meant it.

The door flapped closed and there was a small moment of silence as the rest of the Cullens frowned and looked confused. Alice was the only one who really knew all the details about Victoria. The others only knew the basic facts of how she had saved my life so that she could kill me herself. They had no idea that maybe her feelings were a little more complicated than that. They were glancing at each other but none seemed to be willing to inquire why exactly I didn't want her harmed.

Finally Emmett cleared his throat and clapped his hands together.

"Alright," he said. "How are we gonna do this?"

Alice was already snatching a ring of keys out the bowl on the counter. "Rosalie and I will drive Bella. You scout ahead, make sure the road's clear."

"Roger that," Emmett said, and then he kissed his wife on the cheek and hustled out into the night.

Rosalie sighed and took the keys from Alice. Esme watched us anxiously.

"You girls be careful," she said. "Especially you, Bella."

It felt a little bit like an apology for her earlier outburst and I gave her a nod as an apology for my own. Rosalie pushed open the screendoor and spoke to us over her shoulder.

"Let's go," she said. "I'm driving."

Alice took my hand, giving it a squeeze she probably thought was reassuring, and together we followed Rosalie out to the garage.

The car we took was a red Mazda MX. It was a convertible, but the top was up. It seemed a bit gaudy for a rescue mission, but I couldn't complain about its top speeds. We were out on the highway in no time, pushing 100 mph, and soon we had crossed the entire state. Jasper had reached Forks by now and he kept us posted by texts. So far, so good. He was watching the house and there was no sign of any prowlers. Emmett was scouting the road ahead, like Alice had told him, and sometimes we saw him, leaning against a stop sign casually or cocking a thumb at the edge of the road like a latenight hitchhiker. He liked to show off. Rosalie would shake her head at his grinning face and he would blur away again to scout forward as soon as we passed him.

It was well past midnight by now. It would probably be daylight by the time we got there and no one really knew what was going to happen when we did. Alice was trying to figure it out now, sitting in the backseat with an artist's pad and a box of pencils, focusing on her visions and then drawing down anything she saw. I was sitting in the front and I watched her in the rearview. Her eyes were going vacant again and for a long time I stared at the empty expression on her face. It seemed so…beautiful. No fake smiles, no false concern in her eyes. Just perfect emptiness. Then slowly her features stirred back to life and her brow crinkled in anxiousness as she bent her head to scribble some more details into the picture.

Rosalie was driving and so far she hadn't said a word to me. In fact, I don't think she had spoken to me even once since I arrived in Alaska. But she kept glancing at me, and maybe something about my concern for my father softened her up a little, because she spoke to me now.

"You should try and get some sleep," she said.

I looked at her in something like distain. Her words might've been an olive branch of sorts but it would take more than simply deigning to speak to me to make me forget that she was one stuck up bitch. "You honestly think I could sleep right now?"

She glanced at me again and back at the road. "Your dad's going to be fine," she said. "Try not to worry."

I snorted and shook my head. I turned in my seat to look at Alice.

"Do you see anything yet, Alice?" I asked her.

Alice shook her head, still drawing. She was shading something in russet red and with a jolt in my heart I realized it was hair. "Not much," she said. "It's just the same vision over and over again."

"Is it my dad?"

"No. It's you."

"What about me?"

"I'm not sure."

"Can I see the drawing?"

She sighed and looked up. She looked like she didn't really want to show me for some reason, but she knew she couldn't refuse. She turned the pad around and handed it to me. I took it and sat back in my seat, staring at the scene scrawled there.

Victoria.

My heart was slowly beginning to race, that familiar rhythm of excitement that I always felt whenever I was around her. Because it wasn't only Victoria in the drawing. It was Victoria and _me_. Which meant that sometime in the near future, Victoria and I were going to meet once more. Face to face. No James. No Cullens.

Just me and her.

I should've been more scared about that, but I wasn't. The scene itself was very interesting too. It was outdoors somewhere and it was raining. Alice had used a lot of detail. There were trees in the background, like a forest, and there was a body of water with the rain dimpling the surface. A lake? A river? I didn't know, but I was more intrigued by the foreground. Because in the foreground, there was me and Victoria. We were both soaked through with rain and our clothes were slathered in mud from how it seemed like we been rolling around the bank of the lake. I was flat on my back and she had me pinned to the ground. We'd obviously been in some kind of physical altercation, but…

…what kind of physical altercation?

I blushed slightly as I studied her face. From her expression, I couldn't tell if she wanted to kill me or just fuck me to pieces. Or both. And from the expression on my own face, I seemed just as confused over which possibility I was hoping for. One of her eyes was covered with the eye patch, but her other eye was boring into mine, and the drawing had captured a very strange moment of intimacy. Her red hair was hanging in wet strings and my own hair was laying clumped in the mud. I stared at the picture and for the first time in a long time I felt something that might've been hope. Because this was the future. This actually might happen. And as wrong as it was, I—

"Bella?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and glanced back at Alice. "Is there anything else?" I asked. "Did you see if she was going to kill me?"

"Not exactly, but it's pretty obvious, isn't it?"

I looked again at the drawing. It looked so real that I could almost hear the rain. "I'm not sure."

Alice watched me for a moment before she spoke. "I find the vision itself more distressing than anything else. Even just the possibility of you and her alone is very disturbing. I mean, look at all the precautions we're taking. How would she even get you out of our sight?"

_Maybe because I would actually go to her_, I said to myself.

The thought gave me a jolt, but I didn't say it out loud. I was still staring at the drawing and this time I was studying the environment, wondering where it could be. The forests of Forks? It was nothing I recognized and the rain made it seem even stranger.

"It looks like a lake or river," I said.

"Yeah," Alice said, and then she leaned over to take the drawing out of my lap, almost as if she was jealous at how I was looking at Victoria. "I guess we should avoid the great outdoors, huh?"

I chuckled once at the joke, but only once. Rosalie was still driving and she glanced in the rearview as Alice bent to add more detail to the drawing.

"Do the visions at least confirm that they're going to make a move?" she asked.

"Yeah," Alice said, nodding. "I'm pretty sure."

Rosalie sighed and glanced at me. Her expression had hardened again since her faltering attempt to become my new BFF and she was back to regarding me as nothing but a nuisance. I ignored her and looked out the window. I had more important things to worry about, anyway.

Like Victoria.

The possibilities were endless and most of them filled me with excitement. If the vision proved anything, it proved that I would have a chance to talk to her. It also proved that some kind of fight had taken place, but I didn't focus on that. Instead I focused on the conversation we might have in such a moment. Me, breathless, staring up at her. Rain spattering all around us. Her, heaving, unable to kill me as she had been unable so many times. And then? I wasn't sure. Perhaps I would gloat and dare her to do it. Brandishing my throat and smiling at her and whispering for her to go ahead if she thought she could, knowing that she wouldn't, knowing that my taunts would only drive her even more wild and crazy. Gazing up at her as she grit her teeth and warred against the desire to rip me open because that's not what she truly wanted. No, what she truly wanted was something else. Not my life or my blood. Just me. To hold me and touch me. To kiss me. To kiss my lips that were right there, so close. My lips that were slowly moving into a smile because I could see it in her face. And with a growl, she would pounce. Not at my throat, but at my mouth, because even though I was laying there entirely at her mercy, completely helpless, the thing she wanted most from me was merely a kiss.

Or maybe I was completely fucking delusional.

Either way, I ought to be thinking about this more seriously. Not only was it making me inappropriately horny, but there was also Charlie and James to worry about. My number one priority right now was making sure my father was safe, not fantasizing about a sexy vampire with red hair who may or may not kill me the next time it rains. Although, for the record, I didn't think she would. I was pretty sure a kiss wasn't so farfetched. I mean, it's not like we hadn't kissed before under similar circumstances. And this time, maybe it would be more than a kiss. Maybe the softness and warmth of my sumptuous human body would overpower her to the point where she simply had to slip a hand inside my wet top. And then the coolness of her fingers would squeeze down on the soft mound of my breast, and—

Okay, Bella, shut the fuck up. Focus on your dad, alright?

It was daylight by the time we reached Forks. About 8 AM. The only times Rosalie had slowed down was when Alice had visions of police approaching. I hadn't slept all night, but I wasn't tired. Just exhausted. I was looking out my window for the house, and I saw Emmett in the yard as we pulled up, sitting in the tire-swing that hung from a tree like an overgrown child.

I reached for the door handle before the car was even stopped and Alice said:

"Wait."

Emmett zipped over and he got in the back beside Alice. "Looks all clear," he said. "Traces of scent to the east and south. They've been here, but not recently."

"Both of them?" I asked. "Both together?"

"Seems that way."

That flattened my fantasies a little bit. I'd been hoping that she hadn't gone back to him, but she had chosen me over him once before, so it was possible she might do it again.

Rosalie turned to look at her husband. "So they're nearby?"

"That would be my guess."

"And my dad?" I asked, feeling ashamed that this was my second question after curiosity on Victoria's relationship status.

"He ain't here," Emmett said. "Must've went to work."

I turned to Rosalie. "Quickly, we have to—"

Emmett was already getting out of the car. Alice leaned to speak to him before he closed the door. "Keep your eyes peeled, Emmett," she said. "Text if anything happens."

"Yes, ma'am," he said, and then swung the door closed.

Rosalie hit the gas and the sportscar growled into the street.

It was only five minutes to the courthouse. This time I had thrown open the door and got out before anyone could stop me.

"Bella—!"

I slammed shut the door and started across the lawn. Neither of them followed. Thunder rumbled overhead and I heard it with a flash of excitement. I looked up at the sky. Dark gray storm clouds. It looked like it was going to rain any minute, but there weren't any lakes or trees here at the courthouse.

Jasper was sitting on the stone steps, like a loitering gargoyle, and he gave me a nod when he saw me. I nodded back, feeling extremely cool for not speaking. No mushy helloes between the badasses. Me and Jazz, all business. I was glad to know he had been here guarding my dad at work. It would've been nice if he had mentioned it in a text, but then again, we had never even mentioned that we had made it to town.

I took the steps two at a time and pushed through the revolving glassdoor. My dad was standing behind the counter in his uniform, pale and drawn as if he hadn't slept in a long time, and he did a doubletake when he saw me.

"Bells?"

"Dad!"

He came around the counter, staring at me as if he'd seen a ghost, and I threw my arms around him. A few other officers turned to watch.

"Oh god," he said, his voice filled with abject relief. "Oh god, Bells."

I was relieved too. My dad, safe and sound. I had him in my arms and I wasn't going to let anything happen to him.

Then suddenly he sniffed back his tears ruggedly and pushed me back sternly.

"Where have you been?" he demanded.

"It's a long story," I said. "I'm sorry I worried you."

"Worried doesn't quite begin to capture it, Bella. You disappeared. On the day we buried your mother, you just… Do you have any idea what was going through my mind? I thought you might've…"

He couldn't bring himself to say it, but I knew what he was thinking. Suicide. He thought I'd run away to kill myself. Tears came to my eyes as I realized what kind of impression he probably had of me. Depressed teen, emo girl, falls apart when her boyfriend dumps her and disappears after her mother dies.

The worst part was that I couldn't explain any of it. And to be honest, part of me didn't want to. I didn't want to make excuses. I had only been gone less than a week, but so much had happened. I was a different person now. I had stood up to James, I had told Edward to go to hell, I had virtually abandoned my feelings for Alice, and I was risking my life to come make sure he was okay. I wasn't the girl he had been so worried about. I was stronger now and I was going to prove that to him.

"I'm sorry, dad," I said. "I really am."

Charlie looked at me for a moment. At my dry eyes, my steady expression. He seemed to believe me. Sniffing again, he looked around at the officers who'd stopped to stare and then he frowned at them and turned back to me.

"We'll talk about this at home," he said.

I nodded and waited for him to grab his coat.

It started raining on the way home. Neither me nor my dad spoke and I kept glancing out the windshield and the blurry window, looking out for any hint of red. The vision wasn't going to happen in town, but there was always the possibility that she would snatch me from town and take me to wherever the vision would take place.

But there was nothing. There was no sign of the Cullens, either, but I knew they were nearby, watching. Maybe it had been a stupid move to charge into the courthouse like that. It might've been easier to protect dad from a distance and it wasn't going to give me any tactical advantages being locked up at home. But for some reason, I didn't care. I felt like I had done the right thing. Charlie had been worried about me long enough. It wouldn't be fair to keep him in a state like that. I knew what it was like when other people made your decisions for you and I didn't want to do that to Charlie.

He pulled up on the curb outside our house and we dashed through the rain to the front porch. He opened the door and we went inside. The rain was very loud and it silenced significantly as he closed the door again.

He still hadn't spoken since we left the courthouse and now he shook his head and looked at me in concern. "Where have you been, Bells? How did you even get to the station?"

I sighed, no idea what to say. I wanted to tell him the full truth, about everything, but there was no way he would ever believe me.

"I drove her," said a voice coming down the stairs.

Charlie spun around. It was Alice. Apparently she'd been waiting upstairs for us to come home. Charlie gaped at her in shock.

"You," he said. "What the hell are you doing in my house?"

"Um, Bella let me in."

Charlie wheeled around furiously. "Bella, you better tell me what's going on right this minute, or—"

Alice came up behind him and with an apologetic wince she stood on her toes and gave him a smack on the back of his head.

It was just a light tap, like how you'd tell a puppy off, but with her vampire strength, it knocked him completely out. His eyes rolled up in his head and I cried out:

"Dad!"

Alice caught him before he could flop to the floor. He looked enormous in her small arms.

"Alice, what are you doing!"

"Sorry, Bella, but we need to focus on dealing with Victoria and James. He'd only be in the way."

"You didn't have to knock him out!"

She was dragging him into the living room and I was following along fretfully. Alice gave me a grin and hefted him onto the sofa.

"What else was I supposed to do? Calmly explain that a pair of vampires are on the hunt for his daughter and it would be great if he could stay out of it and let little ol' me protect her?

I looked at my dad lying there and shook my head. Yet another decision made for me.

"I'm sorry," Alice said, "but this is the only way."

I shook my head again and looked at her. "Fine, so what do we do now?"

"That's a good question. I wish I could see what they're planning. We don't have a lot of time before the wolves get involved."

"Well, I'm sick of waiting for them to come to me. Is there any way we can go to them?"

"Emmett and Jasper have picked up their scent, but…"

"But what?"

Alice looked out the living room window, as if she could see all the way to wherever James and Victoria were hiding. The curtains were shut, so I doubt she could see far.

"They'd run away as soon as they knew we were coming," she said. "This is like a game of chess, Bella. Check isn't good enough. Only checkmate is gonna cut it."

"Well, what about me? Can we use me as bait?"

She shook her head in an Edward-like fashion. "Too dangerous."

"I'm not afraid," I said, frowning but holding my tongue. "And since I'm forced to remain human for the time being, we might as well use that to our advantage. I might not be able to kill him with my bare hands, but I can at least help you do it."

Alice sighed and put her hands on her hips. She looked at me, searching my face. My expression must've been pretty steely, because she nodded.

"Okay," she said. "We'll use you as bait. Now we just need to figure out how."

I nodded as well and tried to think.

Then I realized what an idiot I was.

I had just agreed to help Alice try and corner both James _and_ Victoria. I wanted James dead, sure, but I didn't want Victoria getting involved in any vampire melee. The Cullens wouldn't be able to control themselves and Victoria wouldn't either. That wasn't what I wanted. All I wanted to do was get rid of James and have a talk with Victoria. A talk, and, you know. A date, maybe? Or even just to hang out a little. I didn't want her to get hurt or anything. God, this was so complicated.

But then I looked at my unconscious father and found all those complications evaporating. Because in the end, it wasn't all that complicated. All that mattered was protecting my father. James had already killed my mother and I had to do whatever it took to prevent him from doing the same thing to my father. And if that meant taking them both out at the same time, then so be it. I still wasn't positive that Victoria had gone back to James, but if she had—

The phone rang.

Alice looked at me. It was the phone in the kitchen. I looked toward the sound and my heart gave a strange throb of premonition.

"Who could that be?" Alice asked.

I didn't answer, I just hurried into the kitchen. She followed. The phone was on the wall, by the fridge. I hesitated slightly, thinking it was just school, or maybe the courthouse, or even just a sales call. It couldn't possibly be who I thought it was, and yet somehow I knew it would be. Alice watched me pick up the receiver and I said:

"Hello?"

"Well, well, well," said an extremely familiar voice. "I see you're finally home."

The sound of her voice affected me in a way I never would've predicted. It spread through my body like a shot of heroin, a shiver of euphoria, a chilling rush of adrenaline that reminded me of all the danger and excitement and attraction that I had half-heartedly tried to suppress ever since I met her. I felt like a junkie who had accidently relapsed on a drug she hadn't been aware she was addicted to. I breathed in and let it out slowly.

"Victoria," I said.

—

**AN: I hate to leave it like that, but it felt so right, lol. Next chapter very soon. ;)**


	15. Chapter 15

—

Chapter 15:

—

I waited breathlessly to hear her voice in the phone again, and then it came, as softly and deadly as I remembered it.

"You recognize the sound of my voice," she said. "How sweet."

Alice could hear every word and she was watching in concern. I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced my face into a frown.

"How did you know I was here?" I demanded in a strong voice.

"Oh, I have my means. James and I are very eager to see you again."

"James is there?"

"That's right."

It hurt to know they were together again and now the angry frown came more naturally. "So you really did go crawling back to him. How pathetic."

"I didn't go crawling back to anyone," she said, slightly snappish. "James and I…" She trailed off with a snort, as if I wasn't worth the explanation. "Well, it's none of your business," she went on. "Regardless of the status of our relationship, our goals happened to be aligned."

"And what goal is that?"

"_You_."

I opened my mouth to make some retort about how I wasn't afraid, but Victoria's words seemed to have infuriated Alice as well. She snatched the phone away from me and spoke into it with cold hostility.

"You aren't going anywhere near Bella," she said. "You hear me?"

Her protectiveness gave me a confusing surge. Despite my weird emotions for Victoria, I had to remember that it was Alice who truly cared about me. I leaned closer to the phone to hear what Victoria would reply.

"Ah, you must be the one I met in the desert," she said to Alice. "The one Bella says is clairvoyant. Tell me, fortune teller, what do you see?"

"I see you," Alice said hissingly. "In pieces."

A soft chuckle came over the phone. "Then you need to get your eyes checked. Do you want to know what I see?"

Alice didn't answer, she just frowned. I said nothing either.

"I see Ms Swan," Victoria said. "And she belongs to _me_."

I realized that so far she hadn't mentioned once that she wanted to kill me, only that she wanted me, and I quickly took the phone. Maybe it was possible to reason with her.

"Victoria, this is ridiculous," I said. "How many times do I have to beg you not to kill me?"

Another low chuckle, the sound of a smile. "It'll never be enough. My hunger for you transcends revenge or anger or anything like that. I'll never rest until you are _mine_."

That word again. Mine. She seemed to be very deliberately refusing to threaten my actual life, but that was just an assumption.

"You're going to force me to kill you," I told her. "If you don't leave me alone, one of us is going to have to die. And I can promise, it's not going to be me."

"Hmph."

"I'm serious, Victoria. I'm here with four different vampires. How many do you have? Just James? He already lost once, you know."

I thought the threat was fairly effective, but her voice came back as smooth and cocky as it always was.

"Only four of them with you, hm? Thanks for the info."

I cringed as I realized what I had done. Alice frowned and took the phone back. I quickly leaned to listen.

"Enough games," Alice said. "Let's make a deal."

"What kind of deal?"

"Give us James and we'll let you go."

Victoria went silent for a moment. I was surprised as well. I didn't think Alice would even consider letting Victoria go, but I was glad she was. I didn't want her to get hurt. Maybe it was truly possible to settle this with only one death – James.

"And why would you let me go?" Victoria asked.

Alice looked at me as she replied into the phone. "Because Bella doesn't want you to die," she said.

I felt slightly guilty at that. It was the way Alice said it. As if caring about Victoria cancelled somewhat of my feelings for Alice herself. And she was right. But after the way Alice had been treating me, who could blame me for considering other options? Even an option as fraught with danger as Victoria.

Alice turned away from me and spoke calmly, but coldly, into the phone. "Bella isn't a monster like you," she said. "She has a heart and a conscience. And for whatever reason, she's able to forgive you for everything you've done to her. I'm not, but it's not up to me. So this is your last chance. Give us James and I promise you can go free. Otherwise we're going to hunt you both down until you're dead."

I hurried back to Alice's side so that I could listen in, but Victoria didn't reply.

"Please take the deal, Victoria," I said. "I don't want any of us to get hurt."

Maybe it was my voice that swayed her, because a soft snort came over the phone. "Very well," she said. "I'll accept your offer."

I smiled suddenly and looked at Alice. Alice didn't seem as happy.

"There's a lake not far from there," Victoria went on. "East of town. Meet me in two hours. On one condition."

"And what's that?" Alice asked suspiciously.

"I want to see Bella," Victoria said. "One more time before I forfeit her forever."

I looked at Alice hopefully, my heart suddenly racing. Alice frowned and snorted into the phone.

"I'm not bringing Bella with me," she said.

"Yes," Victoria returned firmly. "You _will_ bring Bella. Bella and Bella alone. Just you and her. Nobody else. Those are my conditions."

"You want me to come alone? Are you serious?"

"If I have to trust you, you'll have to trust me. And don't worry about any kind of confrontation. I'll make sure to deliver James in a…dissembled state."

She hung up.

Alice scoffed at the phone in disgust and slammed it back into the cradle.

"It'll be a trap," she said. "But at least it'll be a chance to take them both out."

I blinked. Trap? But—

"How do you know it'll be a trap?" I asked.

"Because she's a lying bitch, that's why," Alice said. "Look, Bella, I know you didn't want us to hurt her, but you're never going to be safe as long as she's alive."

"But…"

Alice turned away and took out her cellphone to call someone.

"Jasper, I need you to get here right away," she said. "All of you."

She didn't even wait for a reply, she just hung up again and stuck it back in her pocket. I was standing there with my shoulders slumped in disappointment. I wanted to be angry at Alice, but she was right. Victoria was dangerous. I could never trust her. And yet…

"Do you think the lake she mentioned is the lake from your visions?" I asked.

"Maybe."

"Does that mean I'm supposed to come with you?"

"No," she said instantly, grasping my hands and looking into my eyes with feverish protectiveness. "My visions are warnings, and that warning was to keep you away from any kind of water at all. I don't want you even going near the kitchen sink. Okay?"

I looked down at our hands. She was gripping them so tightly she almost cracked the cast around my left hand. I looked back to her eyes. There was definitely something more than protectiveness there, something frantic and half-hysteric that knew I was slipping away from her and desperately didn't want me to go. It made my own eyes prickle but I shrugged it off with a smile.

"What about the toilet?" I asked. "Is the toilet safe?"

The joke broke the tension and she smiled, her grip on my hands slackening. I chuckled.

"It was a long drive from Alaska," I said.

She nodded and then she followed me all the way upstairs and stood waiting outside the bathroom until I was done.

—

It continued raining into the afternoon. Alice had helped me bring my father upstairs and I was sitting at his bedside with a rag and a bowl of water, blotting his forehead, while the vampires discussed strategy below. There was no light on in the room and I watched my father's face in the gray light from the window, silently apologizing to him. This was all my fault. And Edward's. And Alice's. And Victoria's. Everybody's fault, I guess. Everybody but him.

There was a soft knock at the door, almost inaudible over the rain, and I turned to see who it was. It was Alice.

"Bella?" she said. "We're ready."

I rung out the rag in the bowl and set it down and stood up. I went over to her. She stepped into the room and looked at my father sadly.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I just wish I didn't have to hurt him. I'm sorry, Bella."

I nodded to say it's okay. She stood there. She had come to take me downstairs, but there seemed to be something else on her mind. She shook her head and looked at me with her huge, beautiful, round yellow eyes.

"This is very awkward," she said, "but while we have a moment alone…"

She took my face in her hands and placed an intimate kiss on my mouth.

It took me by surprise and I didn't move. At first my eyes didn't even close. But then her arms wrapped around me and she pulled me closer. Now my eyes fell closed and my own arms went around her. There was something very urgent in the kiss and in the little moan she made and after a moment the kiss fell apart and she just hugged me tightly.

"What was that for?" I asked in a whisper.

Alice let me go and blinked sadly with her pretty face. "Just in case anything happens to either of us," she said. "And because I needed to. Bella, I am so sorry. I feel awful. About everything. I feel I've done nothing but let you down and mess everything up between us. Everything I do seems to backfire. Leaving you in Forks. Our date at the carnival. Everything I did was because I cared about you, but now… You hate me now, don't you?"

"Of course not, Alice," I said quickly, unsettled at how upset she was. "How could I ever hate you?"

She shook her head and looked off at the rain spattered window. "It's just… Sometimes I feel…"

"Hey," I said.

She turned back to me. I gave her a reassuring smile.

"I'll never hate you, Alice," I told her. "Even if I get upset sometimes, I'll always love you."

That seemed to set her a lot at ease. She nodded gratefully. "Thank you," she said. "Just please give me another chance, okay? I have very strong feelings for you, I do, I just…"

Her mouth snapped shut and she looked toward the door. I wasn't sure why, but then I heard a footstep and someone emerged in to the doorway.

Jasper.

He looked at us, the two of us standing there close but not close, our faces etched with strange emotions that neither of us could quite supress. He looked at me and at Alice and he said:

"Everything okay?"

Alice recovered and fixed her mouth into a smile. "Yeah," she said. "Yeah, we were just… Come on, Bella, we have to go downstairs."

Jasper stepped back to make way and as we went past I had to wonder how much of our emotions he had sensed from downstairs.

Emmett and Rosalie were in the livingroom, waiting on the sofa. Rosalie had her arms folded and her legs crossed, looking very much like the popular girl at school who was forced to slum it with an unpopular friend, and Emmett was relaxing with his feet on the coffeetable. He grinned at me as we came in.

"Times like these make me wish I could eat pretzels," he said, patting his stomach comfortably.

I felt like there was a joke there that I didn't quite understand, but there were more important things at hand right now. "So," I said, looking around at all these vampires in my living room. "What's the plan?"

Alice was evidently the spokesperson of their little group. "Well, we decided to keep it as simple as possible," she said. "That way there's less chance of anything going wrong."

"Okay. So?"

"Well, for starters, Jasper is going to drive you back to Alaska."

I stared at her. "Excuse me?"

Alice didn't answer, she just looked sheepish. I looked at the others. I didn't understand what the hell they were talking about. After putting up so much of a fight to get them to bring me here, they were just gonna ship me right back?

Alice cleared her throat and went on. "I'll be heading over to the lake to see Victoria," she said. "If by some miracle she was telling the truth about delivering James, well, that'll be the end of it. But if she was lying, which is what I expect, I'll have Emmett and Rosalie as back up. Three against one is pretty good odds, especially with Emmett's strength and my gift."

Emmett nodded as if it was a great plan. I looked at them as if they were stupid.

"But she told you to bring _me_," I said to Alice.

None of the vampires replied. Rain rattled outside. A small rumble of thunder. I looked at them and then I put a hand on my chest.

"_I'm_ supposed to be there, Alice," I said. "She was very clear about that."

Rosalie scoffed loudly. "You can't possibly be that stupid," she said.

I looked at her in disgust. What the fuck would she know about anything? Emmett cleared his throat anxiously and put an arm around Rosalie's shoulders, as if to calm her down. Alice cleared her throat as well.

"You don't think that would be too dangerous, Bella?" she asked very tactfully.

I frowned, but at least she hadn't outright told me what to do. I tried to be equally mature. "Maybe," I said. "But we made a deal. I know you think she's lying, but what if she isn't? Her primary condition was that she wanted to see me one more time. So what happens if I'm not there? You think she'll still honour her part of the deal?"

"I don't know," Alice said, still trying to be tactful. "I guess it's just a chance we'll have to take, huh?"

I shook my head, not buying it. "I think I should go," I said. "Besides, I thought you said we were gonna use me as bait?"

"We are, Bella, but that doesn't mean we have to put you directly in danger."

Emmett nodded at that from the sofa. "Yeah, she's got a point, Bella. I mean, you don't feed the chum directly to the shark, you just gotta dangle it in the water a bit. That's why it was a good idea to bring you down here, it got the sharks stirring. But taking you with us when we go meet them? That's a waste of bait if you ask me."

"That's not even the point," I said.

"Then what is the point?"

It took me a second to figure it out, because I honestly wasn't sure. All I knew was that I wanted to see Victoria one last time the same way she wanted to see me. _Needed_ to. They were all looking at me, expecting an answer, and I frowned and tried to figure something out.

"Look," I said. "Victoria is expecting me to be there. And if I'm not, she might just attack you anyway, even if she does deliver James."

"Great," Emmett said. "Three against one is even better odds."

I spun on him and flapped a hand angrily. "But I don't want her to die! Don't any of you understand that yet?! Don't any of you care?!"

The room went silent. Emmett looked abashed, as if he really didn't mean to upset me like that but didn't quite understand how he did. He looked at Rosalie but Rosalie only looked like she was struggling to keep her mouth closed.

I turned to Alice. She looked abashed as well, but she said nothing. Neither did Jasper. Looking around at their faces, I realized that I was right. None of them truly understood or cared. Not one of them even asked why I felt this way. They just assumed I was some stupid little girl who didn't know any better. Just like Edward used to.

I scoffed and threw up my hands and I looked at them again and said:

"You know what? I think I'll just go to the lake by myself."

Alice's face drained. "What?"

"Thanks for the ride home and everything," I said, "but I can handle it myself from here. Victoria saved me once from James, I know she'll do it again. And then…"

I had been turning around to go get my keys but Alice grabbed my arm viciously.

"And then what?" she demanded. "What then, Bella? You and Victoria will live happily ever after? Is that what you think?"

I blushed angrily at how she worded it. Not only because it trivialized my intentions, but because we were in front of everybody. I glanced at the couch. Emmett had raised his eyebrows at the notion of me living happily ever after with another girl and Rosalie wore a look of cold curiosity. I turned back to Alice. She was still clutching my arm and her face was furious with hurt. I yanked my arm back away from her and Alice forced herself to calm down.

"You're letting your feelings cloud your judgement," she said. "You can't trust her, Bella. Victoria will kill you. I guarantee it. I saw it."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did. There's more to a vision than just visual facts, Bella. There's context and feeling and…"

"You never saw it."

"Yes, I did, Bella!" she snapped. "Or what are you trying to say? Are you saying I'm a liar? Are you saying Victoria is more trustworthy than I am? Who are you going to believe, Bella? Me, your bestfriend who's done nothing but love and protect you? Or her, some woman who's done nothing but hurt and try to kill you?"

Tears filled my eyes as conflict tore my heart in half. Because she was right. Alice was—

"Who?" Alice demanded, her eyes speckled with rage and hurt. "Who, Bella?"

"Alice, I just—"

"_Who?!_"

I jumped at how she raised her voice. Even Emmett flinched. Rain continued to pound on the roof of the house and after a moment Jasper put a hand on Alice's shoulder. It visibly calmed her down. Not just the gesture, but he was using his gift. The rage began to drain out of her face but she shrugged away from the hand and stepped away from him before it went away completely. She sighed.

"Please understand, Bella," she said. "You'll never be safe if we don't get rid of them both. Never. You'll live your whole life looking over your shoulder. Your father will always be in danger. And not just your father. Everybody in your life. Every friend you make, every person you date. You'll live in a permanent aura of danger. And even if you do become a vampire, you still won't be safe, because vampires can still be killed. I know you have feelings for her, Bella, but that doesn't change the fact that she's a monster and she'll always be one."

"Isn't that a little hypocritical coming from you?" I asked in something of a sneer with a nod at Jasper. "Considering who _you're_ in love with?"

Jasper smiled slightly and shuffled his feet. Alice glanced at him and back at me. The answer was in her face. She didn't love him. Not as much as she loved me. But she couldn't say that and it was Emmett who spoke next.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," he said, leaning forward on the couch with a serious face, as if there were some very important fact we were all overlooking. "Let me get this straight. Bella likes chicks now?"

I cringed. Out of that entire scene, that was the one thing he had registered.

Rosalie groaned and looked away. She still had her arms folded and her legs crossed and she didn't look like she intended to unwind any time soon. Alice gave Emmett a look of disapproval and ignored him before turning back to me with a much softer expression than before.

"Please, Bella," she said. "Just trust me. And stay. With us. Okay?"

I sighed. All that yelling had taken a lot of the fight out of me.

Emmett cleared his throat and decided to be serious again. "Alice is right, Bella," he said. "You can't trust this chick. You really wanna go down there all alone and get ripped up just because you got some little crush on her? Come on, be real."

I glanced at him, hating how much sense he made. Jasper watched my expression and finally spoke for the first time since we came downstairs.

"Emmett is correct," he said. "Whatever you're feeling, it's not meant to be."

I looked at him. It felt like there were two ways to take his words. Whatever I was feeling, Victoria or Alice, neither were meant to be. And the worst thing?

He was probably right.

I shook my head and scoffed at how much I hated everything right now.

"Fine," I muttered, absolutely defeated. "I'll go back to Alaska with Jasper. Just promise me you won't kill her unless it's absolutely necessary."

Alice listened to my words and smiled and let out a sigh. Her relief was so significant that her breath actually shuddered and she promised without hesitation.

"We promise, Bella," she said. "Thank you."

I nodded bleakly. Every time I came close to making a decision of my own, it always gets taken away from me. I looked up at them and shrugged blandly.

"So what do I do then?" I asked.

"I'll be driving you," Jasper said. "You'll be safe in Alaska until this is all over. Actually, we should be leaving right now."

Alice nodded at that and came forward to give me a hug. It felt like another apology hug and I actually felt sorry for her. Only minutes ago she had apologized to me upstairs for constantly messing everything up. She had done it again, right now, but I hugged her back.

"Everything's going to be okay, Bella," she said. "I promise."

"Yeah," I said, but I didn't really mean it.

She held me for another few moments, even in front of her family and husband, and then she let me go. I turned to Jasper and Jasper tossed his head for me to follow him.

It was still raining when we went outside, harder than ever, but I walked slowly to the car. I didn't care if I got wet. Jasper opened the door for me, a gentleman, and then he got into driver's side. I leaned back in the seat and stared at the rain in the window as he drove out into the street. He didn't speak. Neither did I. At this point I hadn't slept in what? 48 hours? I wasn't sure. I was exhausted, but I didn't think I could sleep even now. I felt too defeated.

I hardly even understood what was going on. First we race down here to protect my father. Now I'm leaving my father behind and going back. And soon Alice and the others would be heading out to confront Victoria and James. Who knows what was going to happen there. Ideally, it would only be James who died, but what if Alice got hurt too? Or Emmett or Rosalie? The odds were on their side, but what if James and Victoria had some kind of ace up their sleeve? Or what if Victoria was telling the truth? What if she only wanted to see me again?

By now we were on the highway. Still raining. So much for that vision. Then again, maybe as long as it kept raining, there was still a chance it might happen. Maybe Victoria was waiting a few miles down the road to ambush us. To stop the car and drag me out and take me to a lake where she was going to…what? Kill me and throw my body into water? Yeah, maybe. Alice was right. I couldn't trust her.

Oh, Alice. I felt so terrible for how I had treated her. She had been trying very hard. None of this could be very easy on her either. To have such strong feelings for me, but to be so trapped by marriage and circumstance. I guess she wasn't really making her own decisions either. Maybe none of us were. I just hoped she'd be alright. I had to make this up to her somehow. I had to be a better friend. I had to be more understanding. Even if it was hopeless between us, it was wrong to blame her. None of this was her fault. And who knows, maybe she would keep her promise about Victoria. Maybe Victoria would deliver James and Alice would let her live. Victoria might be a little upset that Alice didn't bring me with her, but maybe she would understand. Maybe they could make another deal and Victoria could come visit me in Alaska. Maybe they could even become friends. Yeah. And maybe I'm still as delusional as ever.

Jasper glanced at me occasionally as he drove down the highway but he seemed to realize that I needed some space. After a while, though, his concern seemed to outweigh his consideration.

"You okay?" he asked.

I sighed, still staring into the blurry glass of the window. "I guess," I said. "I just feel like I made a mistake."

"What mistake?"

"I don't know. Trusting you guys. It was trusting you guys that got me into this mess to begin with."

"That's true. Although, in fairness, we've done everything we can to get you out of this mess as well."

"I know, I just…"

I sighed again and shook my head. My eyes were closed and my forehead was pressed to the glass. There was such a deep feeling of wrongness in my stomach that it was almost making me sick.

"I should've went to the lake by myself," I whispered.

Jasper snorted softly. "I thought you understood the folly of that?"

"I do, trust me. I know my feelings are wrong. And stupid. I know she would probably just kill me. But at least it would've been _my_ decision, you know? Not Edward's. Not Alice's. Not even Victoria's. Just mine. It would've been what _I_ wanted to do."

I looked at him for his reaction but he only shrugged nonchalantly.

"That doesn't make it any less stupid," he said.

I chuckled once. "Yeah," I said. "I guess not."

He glanced at me. He smiled and turned back to the windshield. "But I can understand how you feel," he added.

"You do?"

"Sure. It's the same feeling that attracts a moth to flame. I'm familiar with that feeling very well. I'm a confederate, after all. There's nothing I love more than a lost cause."

I smiled at that. He went quiet, wistful, gazing at the gray road before him.

"Maybe that's why I've always been so attached to Alice," he murmured. "Even if our relationship was doomed from the beginning, that won't stop me fighting for it till the very end."

My smiled dimmed somewhat and I even felt sorry for him. He must've sensed something very serious between me and Alice if he was worried about his relationship being doomed.

I wanted to say something to set him at ease, since I truly had no intention of ruining someone else's happiness for the sake of my own, but I didn't know what. It wasn't even up to me, anyway. It was up to Alice.

I sighed and turned back to the window. There was a sign approaching outside and I peered at it as it went by to calculate how much further it was to Alaska. But then my brow began to furrow because the sign said we were going south.

South? But wasn't Alaska north? Like, way north?

I turned slightly in my seat to see the sign go by, thinking maybe I saw it wrong, and then turned back to Jasper. "Hey, isn't this south?" I asked. "I thought Alaska was north?"

"We're not going to Alaska, Bella."

"What do you mean?"

The highway was winding through a thickly forested area and now a little dirt road sprouted off to the side. Jasper slowed and turned down the dirt road, not looking at me. My stomach turned and I swallowed a lump of nervousness in my throat.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

He still didn't look at me. "We're taking a little detour," he said. "After I drop you off, I'll take the car back up the highway to Alaska and abandon it somewhere so that it looks like we were ambushed."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

He didn't answer. The trees either side of the small dirt road where very closely grown and I could hear the sound of the rain in them. Thunder cracked very close by. I looked out the windows, beginning to panic, and back at Jasper.

"What the fuck is going on?" I demanded.

Finally he looked at me. "I know what's going on between you and Alice."

It was the way he said it. So flatly. So blandly. It made my heart glaze over. My whole body. What did he mean? Did he mean—?

"I've known for a long time," he went on. "Ever since we all met, in fact. Alice's feelings for you were strong, even then. Most noticeably when James first came after you and we were all holed up in that hotel room. Her concern for you was deeper than even she understood."

I sat very still and tried to keep calm. I knew that he must've suspected something between me and Alice, but he would never…

"So after we took out James," he continued, "I saw an opportunity. Emmett and I were supposed to burn his remains, but I told Emmett to hurry back and check on you because you'd been bitten. I told him I would take care of James myself, but I didn't. I let him live. Knowing that he would never leave his hunt incomplete."

I stared at the profile of his face. Fear was throbbing throughout my entire body. He continued driving down this dark dirt road we were on and he spoke very calmly, very casually.

"Another opportunity came on your birthday," he said. "The papercut. In truth, I have far more control than to frenzy over a mere papercut, but I knew I would be able to pass it off as an accident. So I took the opportunity. If it hadn't been for Edward and Alice's vigilance, I would've killed you that very night."

I had been holding my breath and now it came out now in a gasp that was almost a sob.

"Jasper," I whispered. "What are you saying?"

He ignored me and continued in the same tone of voice. "At first it seemed that gambit might've worked anyway," he said. "Since it caused the family to leave Forks and Edward to dump you, effectively removing you from our lives. But in your absence, Alice's feelings only grew stronger, as I'm sure yours did as well."

I stared at him, my eyes beginning to fill with tears. The windows of the car were a blur of rain and rushing trees.

"The final opportunity came last night," he said. "Shooting the wolf cancelled their protection of your father, which meant we'd have to come protect him ourselves. That's why I volunteered to come alone, before the rest of you got here. James and Victoria did come for him, you may be distressed to learn, but they found me instead. Exactly like how I expected. Rather than fight them off, however, I made them a deal."

The trees outside were thinning and we were coming up to a river. Not a lake after all. The water was high and muddy and standing on the bank in the rain were two figures I recognized at once.

James and Victoria.

James had his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face. Victoria stood somewhat to the side, her arms crossed as if she didn't quite approve of all this. Her hair was dark with water and it hung in long clumpy strands like red seaweed. She was still wearing her eyepatch and her single eye was still yellow. She watched the car as it came up and after a while she looked down.

Jasper slowed the car and put it in park. I looked at him, part of me still not believing he was capable of this. Even after all his warnings and thinly veiled threats, was it truly possible that he was capable of all the things he just said? And this? Was he truly going to…?

"What deal?" I asked, my voice coming out small and hopeless.

He reached for the door handle and turned back to me. "A deal to deliver you."

I shook my head in dismay. "Alice will see. She'll see what you're doing and she'll…"

"All of Alice's focus is on a lake several miles to the northwest of here. She'll see nothing."

"She'll never believe you. She'll never believe that…"

"Alice is going to believe anything I tell her. She always has. She believed me when I apologized for not disposing of James properly. She believed me about the accident on your birthday. And she'll believe this too when I tell her we were ambushed by James and Victoria and only I managed to escape. Her feelings for me have waned somewhat lately, but after you're gone and I'm there to comfort her, she'll remember what it was she always loved about me. I'm sorry, Bella, but I did warn you."

Then he opened the door and got out. The sound of rain rushed in and I did nothing but sit there. Stunned. The door slammed closed again and left me in a muffled rattle of rain pattering on the roof of the car. I stared out the windshield at Victoria as Jasper came around to open the door for me. A gentleman even now. Rain splashed into the car and against my face. It was cold and I didn't care. I got out the car.

—

**AN: Another plot twist, lol. Hope it took you by surprise. I might've been a bit heavyhanded with the foreshadowing, but I doubt anyone expected anything quite like this. Pretty crazy, huh? ****That said, I think it turned out pretty good. It felt fairly natural and shocking to me. There has to be at least a few of you who never saw it coming, lol. This chapter also had some sympathetic characterization for Alice. A lot of people were a bit disenchanted with her, but in this chapter I wanted to make the point that Alice truly does love and care about Bella more than anything, even if she does make mistakes. Anyway, another cliffhanger, lol. Next chapter soon. It'll be a good one. ;)**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Wow, that was a whole bunch of reviews, lol. Thanks a lot, you guys are great. It's an awesome feeling when you really nail a chapter like that. :)**

—

Chapter 16:

—

I was wet through within seconds in that freezing downpour. I was wearing a jacket but it didn't help much. The bank of the river was muddy and my boots made squelching sounds. I remembered the drawing of Alice's vision, with me and Victoria covered in mud in some physical exchange on the ground, and I wondered if it was still possible for reality to someway segway into that. I thought it was. Because even beyond the hopelessness and despair that was weighing me down even heavier than the rain in my clothes, I knew in my heart that I wouldn't be going down without a fight.

"You're a man of your word," James called out over the rain as we approached. "I had my doubts."

Jasper stopped a small distance away. I did too. So far he hadn't put a hand on me or even directly threatened me, which seemed to imply that he took no pleasure in what he was doing even if he wouldn't have any regrets about it.

"And do I have your word that after you have Bella you'll forfeit your vendetta against my family?" he called back. "More specifically, my wife?"

James smiled and spread his arms obligingly. "Of course."

I frowned at Jasper. So that was the other part of his deal. Me in exchange for his family. Jasper glanced at me, rain running down his pale face in a strange simulation of tears, and I snorted at him.

"And you actually believe him?" I asked.

He gave me a look that was basically a shrug. I shook my head, realizing that he didn't believe James at all but that wasn't the point. The point was simply to get rid of me, anything else he might get out of it was just a bonus.

I turned back to James and Victoria. Victoria was still standing somewhat aside, her arms folded. Her one eye was glaring at Jasper, as if part of her hated him for sentencing me to death even if she herself were the executioner. She looked very sexy, all wet and resentful like that, and I felt a surge of something for her, anger, attraction, disappointment. It hurt that she was standing over there beside the man who used to be her mate. The man who killed my mother.

James smiled at the silence and looked around at everyone before turning his smile back to me.

"Well, Ms Swan? Are you going to come willingly? Or do we have to be rough?"

The shock of Jasper's betrayal had faded to the point where I was no longer completely stunned and paralysed. I glared at him for a second and wondered what to do. I had a fleeting thought to try and run away, but that would've been pointless and embarrassing. So instead I turned and went over to Victoria.

It seemed to surprise them all, Victoria the most. I had steered clear of James and I stood with Victoria between us, right at her side and a little behind, as if she were actually on my side. Her eye had followed me as I moved and there seemed to be a slight hint of remorse in it, as if she felt guilty that I actually thought she would help me. She didn't speak to me. I didn't speak either, I just glared at her with my dark eyes as if she better protect me or else.

James watched us with some amusement and then he turned back to Jasper.

"Well," he said. "I suppose this concludes our business."

Jasper looked at me and at Victoria but it was James he spoke to. "I was under the impression that you were going to kill her," he said.

"Oh, we will," James said. "Eventually."

"Eventually?"

James smiled and glanced back at the river. Rocking in the brown water was a large motorboat that obviously belong to him and Victoria. "Well," he said. "First we need to take her someplace where we can take our time. But rest assured, she won't be alive much longer."

Jasper didn't look much assured at that. "And I assume she won't have access to cellphones in the mean time? It would be inconvenient for me if she were to somehow call my wife and tell her what I've done."

"Don't worry, we'll keep her tied up nice and tight. But speaking of cellphones…"

James looked at Victoria pointedly. Victoria looked at me.

"Do you have a phone?" she asked.

I didn't answer. I just glared at her. She smiled slightly at my defiance and then she patted down my pockets. I didn't take my eyes off her. She didn't take her eye off me either. Her face was wet with rain and her hair was a deep scarlet red. My heart fluttered at the touch of her hands at my hips but I kept my face completely still. I could feel the rain running into my eyes but I didn't even blink them. Finally she found my phone, keeping her eye on mine, and she took the battery out and threw the battery in the forest and the phone in the river.

James watched all this and turned to Jasper. "Satisfied?"

"It would suit me more if you killed her now."

James chuckled and gave him a puzzled frown. "You know, if you're so impatient for her to die, you could've just killed her yourself," he said. "It would've been simpler than this contrived exchange of yours."

Jasper looked at me and looked away again. Rain was spattering in the mud and dimpling in the river and he looked out across the dripping wet woods and sighed to himself. "Yeah, well," he said. "I guess I didn't have it in me. Just let me give you a warning."

"Go ahead."

"If she somehow survives and gets away from you…" He paused and looked at Victoria. "…or if either of you change your minds about killing her…" He turned back to James. "I'm gonna come find both of you. And what I do to you will be nothing compared to what you were going to do to her."

James didn't appreciate being threatened but he smiled and nodded.

"Fair enough," he said. "Now get out of here."

Jasper gave him a lingering look and then he turned. His eyes met mine for a brief moment and I was glaring at him with a hatred so vile that it burned in my stomach like acid. Because beyond what he was doing to me, it was even worse what he was doing to Alice. Lying to her and sleeping with her and forcing her to love him under false pretences. It wasn't fair. It was evil. Did he have no soul? Did he have no conscience? Did he—

But then he was gone. Turning away from me and my rage as if I was nothing to him and climbing back into the car. Both fenders and the entire underside of the red Mazda were coated in mud and the wheels spun slightly as he turned the car around and accelerated back the way we came through the woods. I glared at it until it was gone and I swore in my heart that he couldn't get away with this, that this was the wrongest thing in the world, that somehow I was going to get out of here and warn Alice and save her from—

James had watched the car leave as well and now he was sauntering over to me. My glare swung to him. His eyes were bright red and his hair was so flaxen that it didn't even darken in its drenched state. He looked at me and he cocked his head at my defiance.

"Well, well, well," he said. "You seem a lot more brave this time, Ms Swan."

"I'm not afraid," I said, glaring at him, and then I glared at Victoria as well for good measure. "Of either of you."

Victoria smiled at me but there was something subdued about it. As if she was only trying to force herself to have fun. James smiled as well but his smile was as sadistic and malicious as it always was.

"Well," he said, "we'll have to do something about that. Won't we?"

He reached with his hand and moved my jacket away from my chest. My top was soaked and sticking to my breasts and with that same sick smile he brushed his knuckles along the globe of my left breast. My skin crawled and I fought very hard not to cry or crack in any way.

"Don't touch her," came a cold voice.

It was Victoria. Her smile had completely gone and her amber eye was glaring at her former mate with barely bridled violence. James glanced at her and let his hand drop.

"I thought we went through this, Victoria?"

Victoria didn't reply. I pulled my jacket closed and watched them, rain pattering on my head. James sighed again and shook his head.

"Just get her on the boat," he said. Then he turned back to me and made an effort to replace his jovial smile. "That's right, Ms Swan. Soon we'll be sailing down the river with no scent and not even a trace of a track for your friends to follow. This time, there will be no one coming for you. This time, you belong to us."

Victoria had taken my arm, waiting for James to finish his speech. I glared at him in the rain and said:

"Yeah? Well, there's just one thing you're forgetting."

"And what's that?"

"I actually fight back these days."

Then I yanked my arm away from Victoria and used it to punch James in the face.

It was like punching a brick wall, but it was the gesture that mattered. The blow jarred my wrist and might've even broke something in my hand but it felt much better than crying. James laughed in surprise, as if he thought it was funny I would even try, and I turned and ran. I knew it was useless, but I didn't care. I ran as hard as I could, my boots exploding in the wet mud, and I had almost made it to the treeline before James appeared in front of me.

It was like running into a brick wall, which turned out to be less satisfying than punching one. I bounced off him and flung back into the mud, dazed, groaning. My legs were like rubber as I slipped and stumbled and tried to stand up. James watched me for a moment and then he grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked me along.

"No!" I screamed as he began to drag me across the bank toward the boat. "Let me go!"

My legs were flinging and kicking, my heels making pock marks in the mud. He was literally dragging me by the hair and my scalp was burning.

"Sorry about this," he was saying. "It's not that I don't appreciate the struggle, but we're on something of a schedule. The sooner we're on the water, the sooner we can get down to business. Then you can struggle all you want."

As we went past Victoria, my eyes met hers for a moment. Her eye was yellow and cold and in that moment I knew she wasn't going to save me this time. I just knew it. Despite whatever reluctance she might feel, she truly was going to help James kill me.

I felt a flash of defeat but it was only a flash. Afterwards came a huge surge of hate and humiliation that caused me to scream out loud and twist against the hand in my hair so hard that I actually ripped my hair out as I came loose.

I slipped into the mud, sobbing at the pain, and instantly scrambled to my feet and took off again, running and stumbling desperately toward the trees. If I could get into the trees, maybe they wouldn't find me. Maybe the rain would wash away my scent and I could hide somewhere, if only I could—

This time a pair of arms grasped me from behind. I thought it was James but it was Victoria who whispered in my ear.

"Enough," she said. "You're only embarrassing yourself."

I stopped struggling for one desperate moment. "Victoria, please. Don't let him do this."

But she turned me around and forced me to look into her eye.

"You're wrong," she said. "It's _me_ who's doing this."

I sobbed. I had been determined not to cry but now a few tears did slip. At least it wouldn't be obvious in the rain. Victoria glared at me for a moment and I silently begged her with my eyes to please don't do this, please be the woman I dreamed about you being, please—

But then she growled and grabbed my arm and forced me to march back to the river.

James was there with his arms folded, tapping his foot in the mud. He smiled as we went by and I spat on him viciously. He flinched, trying not to laugh, and wiped his cheek with his hand.

"Quite lively, isn't she?" he said to Victoria.

Victoria didn't answer, she just shoved me onto the gangplank that led up to the boat.

It was a fairly large boat, made of white fiberglass with the name of it in gold scrollwork along the hull: _Sea-licious_. I struggled against the claw digging into my arm and even tried to wrench away and maybe jump over the side, but her grip was tight as iron. The boat was a moderately sized luxury pleasurecraft with a cabin below and she almost threw me down the stairs. I stumbled down the stairs and whipped around but Victoria slammed down the hatch to lock me in the cabin alone. I went back up a couple steps and tried to force open the hatch but it didn't budge.

The cabin itself was fairly small and instantly I was looking around for anything to use as a weapon. There was a bed and a couch with a small white dining table and a redwood bar in the corner. I hurried over to the bar, looking for alcohol, spirits, anything flammable, but the shelves and all the cupboards were bare. I swore under my breath and suddenly the boat rumbled to life and lurched forward. I guess we had set sail, destination death and darkness. On the deck I could hear voices, male and female. I couldn't hear them properly over the growling of the motor but they seemed to be arguing. Maybe I should've taken some hope from that, but there were few things in the world that I gave less fucks about at the moment than their relationship troubles. I wasn't counting on Victoria to save me at this point, and even if she did, I wasn't sure I would even accept her help anymore. She had her chance to save me and instead she locked me in this cabin. Fuck her. I'll save myself.

With that thought, I started tearing open drawers in a dresser. The first three were empty, as if the boat was brand new, and I almost didn't bother opening the bottom one, although I was glad I did. The bottom drawer contained a life vest, a deflated rubber raft, a plastic orange box, and a firstaid kit that I opened and went through quickly with my one good hand that wasn't in a cast. Bandages, disinfectant, some aspirins, a syringe. Nothing that could really help. I shoved it aside and grabbed the orange box instead. The lid was clipped down and I unclipped it with fumbling thumbs, no idea what could be inside but praying it would be something I could use. I ripped open the lid and my heart stopped.

It was a flaregun.

Instantly my mind was racing with possibilities and I tried to reign them back before I got carried away, because I didn't know how a flaregun worked and maybe it wouldn't work at all and maybe it might not even kill a vampire anyway. But it was hope and it was all I had and took it out of the box and examined it in my hands. It was heavy and large. The rounds that it was loaded with were short and squat, the size of a stack of coins, and they were embedded into the lining of the box. I quickly lifted them out too and stuffed them into the pockets of my jacket before turning my attention back to the gun and trying to figure out how to load it. Finally I managed to break open the barrel, like a shotgun, and I shoved one of the rounds into it and snapped it back shut. I wasn't sure if I did it properly, but it seemed pretty simple. I was wondering if I should try firing a practice shot, but I didn't know if it would set the room on fire, and I didn't have time anyway.

Because the hatch opened behind me and someone was coming down the stairs.

I didn't know who it was and I didn't care. I spun around, fully prepared to shoot somebody in the face, but I didn't get lucky this time. It was Victoria and maybe she had become more wary about me and fire-related weaponry since our earlier encounters. She saw immediately what was in my hand and she slapped it away before I could pull the trigger. The gun came out of my hand and clattered to the floor. I went to dive for it but she grabbed me and tried to force me to be still.

"No!" I screamed. "Let me go. Let me—!"

She growled and lost patience and threw me into the wall. I groaned and straightened up and glared at her with sudden hatred.

"I'm going to kill you, Victoria," I seethed at her. "I swear to god I'm going to kill you."

She was angered by my attempt with the flaregun and the corner of her mouth lifted in a sneer. "Is that so?"

Her smirk infuriated me further and I grabbed a nearby alarm clock and threw it at her. It missed. I grabbed the pillow off the bed and threw it as well. It bounced off her harmlessly. She looked at me and sighed and then she picked up the pillow and tossed it back on the bed. I looked around wildly for anything else to throw but there was nothing. Victoria regarded my franticness with some of her earlier reluctance and sympathy coming back into her eye.

"Stop it," she said.

I glared at her. She was standing across the cabin and slowly she came toward me.

"There's no need to be afraid," she said. "James has agreed to leave you all to me. You won't have to worry about him."

She stopped very close to me. I stood with my back pressed to the porthole behind me in fear and said:

"What are you going to do?"

A vague smile crossed her lips. She looked at me, my face. She breathed in and lifted a hand to stroke a wet lock of hair away from my cheek.

"You know what I'm going to do," she murmured.

Tears came into my eyes. I trembled under the feather touch of her knuckles. She was going to kill me. She really was. She—

"I'm sorry, Ms Swan," she went on softly. "I truly am. I can tell you've had some expectations of me. Fantasies, perhaps. You expect me to have some change of heart. To protect you. But this is reality. And in reality…you are nothing but a victim to me."

My lip quivered. I sniffed. My eyes darted at the flare gun in the corner of the cabin. So far away. Victoria cupped my cheek gently and I turned my eyes to hers.

"So stop struggling, okay?" she whispered. "Just accept it."

I blinked at her, tears dripping onto my cheeks. She was standing so close our chests were touching and her face was only inches away.

"No," I said.

"Shh…"

"No. Don't do it, Victoria. Please."

"Bella, there's nothing you can…"

I lifted onto my toes and kissed her.

It was a last resort but I could tell right away it wasn't going to work. It didn't have the same spark as last time, the same emotion. Her lips were cold and soft and I almost sobbed into them. Why, why did it have to be like this? I knew that she liked me. I could tell. I felt exactly the same about her. Everything could be so much different if we wanted it to be. So why, why…

I lowered my lips, my eyes full of tears. She smiled at me wistfully but she was unswayed.

"As I was saying," she said, "there's nothing you can say—or do—that will change my mind. My hunger for you, it's…inexorable."

"I hunger for you too," I whimpered.

Finally there was a flicker in her eyes. A tiny flash of excitement that cracked her glaze of resignation. I saw it with hope in my heart and continued on in a pleading voice.

"I do," I said. "I know it's wrong, but I can't help it. Please, don't do this, Victoria. It doesn't have to end like this. I know you like me. I like you too. Take me away somewhere, okay? Away from James and away from Alice and away from everyone else. Let's go somewhere, just me and you. I'll be yours all you want. Please?"

She hesitated, her face growing colder. As if I had found her weakness and she was trying to conceal it. But even as the caution grew in her eye, so did the excitement.

"Is that what you want?" she asked.

She was still cupping my cheek and I nodded, my face rubbing against her hand. "Yes," I said. "I'll do anything. Please. Just don't kill me, okay? Just—"

Her eye lowered and suddenly I lurched away from her hand. All my pleading had been bullshit. I was past the point of begging for my life and as soon as her guard was down I was diving across the cabin for the flarepistol.

She spun around, hissing, and I wheeled to face her with the gun in my hands.

We froze for one split second, both hesitating.

Then I shot her in the face.

Instantly the small cabin was engulfed in brightness. Victoria's hands flew to her face and she let out an unearthly howl. I couldn't tell how badly it hurt her or if she was only dazed by the light. The flare had only bounced off her face and now it was hissing on the ground as Victoria blinked and stumbled and tripped through the cloud of smoke that was slowly enveloping her.

The hatch of the cabin flew open and James burst downstairs.

"Victoria!" he shouted.

He almost didn't even notice me in concern for his mate. He ran to her, kicking away the smoking round on the floor, and I didn't wait around to see if she was alright. I staggered to the stairs, coughing from the smoke, and emerged into the rain on the deck.

I had taken a fresh round out of my jacket and I was reloading the pistol, trying not to sob as my fingers fumbled with the mechanism. I was looking around desperately and I had no idea what to do now. For all my anger and audacity, all I seemed to have done was perhaps earn a more painful death after the smoke had cleared. From what I saw downstairs, the gun didn't seem very damaging, and I didn't think it would work a second time on either of them anyway.

I looked at the controls of the boat. The forest was racing by either side of the river and the boat was motoring through the water at a steady pace, bobbing up and down slightly. I thought maybe I could turn the boat around but what would that accomplish? The vampires were still on damn the boat, directly downstairs. I didn't have my phone, I didn't have the wolves, I didn't have Victoria. I didn't even have Alice. By now she might've had a vision about all this, but how would that help? James had gloated about it himself; there was no track for them to follow and no way to find me.

Smoke was billowing from the hatch that led down into the cabin, leaving a trail in the rain downriver, and I was running out of time. I was just about to try my luck jumping ship when something red caught my eye by the base of the control console. It was a plastic jug of a certain shape and I realized it was a jug of gasoline or fuel. There was a large triangle sticker on the side and the word on the sticker gave me one last surge of hope and strength because the sticker said:

_Highly Flammable_.

It might've been a long shot, but it was all I had, and I quickly stuck the gun in my waistband and grabbed the jug and ripped off the cap and began pouring it everywhere. The deck was already wet with rain but I knew the gas would burn anyway. Or prayed that it would. The scent of gas was intense and it actually gave me a wave of dizziness, exhausted as I was, but I continued pouring it. It splashed on my hands and legs but I didn't care. James was coming up the stairs from the cabin and I quickly dropped the jug and stepped back, drawing the flarepistol. He wasn't in any hurry. He looked about at the pools of pale yellow liquid on the deck and turned to me with a smile. I lifted the gun at him.

"Go ahead," he said. "Shoot. It'll hurt, but it won't kill me."

"Smell the gasoline, moron?"

"I do. I smell it on you as well."

With a smirk, he tapped his temple as if he was smarter than me. And maybe he was, because I only scoffed and said:

"I'm not as vulnerable to fire as you are."

Then I shot the pool of gasoline that had formed around the half empty jug.

A great whoosh of fire went up from the deck of the boat. I heard James scream, but I saw nothing through the blaze. Black smoke rose into the bleak afternoon sky and the whole boat was on fire. Rain was hissing in the flames and I had dropped the flaregun. It clattered onto the deck and I stumbled backward, silent, staring at my hands. They were on fire. No pain. I must've been in shock. My jeans were on fire too and I might've burnt up and died along with James if I hadn't turned and ran blindly and toppled overboard into the river.

I hit the water and at first I thought I was dead. Everything was cold and dark. My eyes were open, staring into the murk. Then I heard a crash above me and I struggled back to life. My throat was already burning from holding my breath and I kicked feebly in the direction of the surface. Everything was dark and I felt the fear of drowning and I kicked and kicked and I thought I was going to die and—

My head broke the surface of the water, gasping, gulping down huge mouthfuls of air. I sobbed and struggled to keep from sinking again. My shoes and my jacket were weighing me down and I was never that good at swimming even without a cast on my arm. I kicked and paddled in the direction of the shore. I kept sobbing and sobbing and spitting out dirty water and I was terrified I wasn't going to make it, but I did. My feet touched solid ground and I lurched forward, stumbling into the water and rising again, crawling my way up onto the bank until I just sank down into the mud.

For a few seconds I laid there, just struggling to breathe and trying to force myself to get up. There was an acrid stench surrounding me and I realized it was my own burnt hair. I looked back down the river. The boat had crashed into the bank and the motor had died. Already the fire had been doused by the rain and there was nothing but black smoke rising from the deck. No James. No Victoria. I began to believe I almost had a chance, and with a whimper I pushed myself up out of the mud and staggered to my feet and began to stumble down the bank.

I didn't get far before someone tackled me from behind.

I went down without a sound. With the last of my energy I tried to slap at my attacker. It was Victoria. She had pushed me down into the mud and now her hand closed around my throat to hold me there. I blinked at her and gagged. Part of her hair was singed, but aside from that she seemed mostly unharmed. There were traces of a burn under her eyepatch but it was already almost fully healed. I struggled feebly beneath her, but she was straddling my hips and her hand was tight around my throat. I gripped her wrist and tried to speak.

"James is burning," I rasped. "You'd better go help him before it's too late."

Her hand tightened and her eye tightened as well. It was yellow and bright and shining with spite and passion and the complete and utter desire to destroy me. "I don't care about him," she said seethingly, as if she was barely in control. "You… You…"

But she was so overcome with rage or whatever she was feeling that she couldn't form any articulate words. She was staring at me, heaving, somehow restraining herself even now, and…

Dimly I became aware that this was the vision Alice warned me about. It was happening now. Me and Victoria, enmoiled in the mud. Rain rattling and spattering all around us. And it was exactly like my fantasy as well. Because I could see it in her eyes. The conflict. The desire to kill me at war with the desire to simply kiss me and love me and protect me. I realized all this and slowly I smiled. My hands around her wrist slackened and flopped into the mud. Like in my fantasy, I was giving up. Surrendering. She could see it in my eyes and confusion flashed across her wet face. I strained my throat as if to offer it up to her.

"Do what you gotta do, Victoria," I whispered.

My voice was soft and without device. I meant it. It was up to her. I was so tired of fighting against it. For a long time now I had been falling in love with her, and if this was how it was meant to be, then fine.

Patiently, I waited for her to decide. She could see the fatalistic equanimity in my eyes and her own eye was more conflicted than ever. Her eyelid fluttered and a strangled whimper came out of her. Her hand tightened unconsciously until I couldn't breathe. If it got any tighter, she was going to squeeze until my neck snapped. I groaned helplessly and looked up at her, begging her to do it now, whatever she wanted, just please do it now and don't let me wait any longer. Her eye scrunched up as a soft mewling sound came out of her throat and then suddenly she lunged.

At my lips.

Her hand was gone and suddenly I was gasping into her mouth, as if it wasn't air I craved for survival but rather her kiss itself. And maybe that was true, because even as I was gasping and choking for breath I was trying even harder to lock my lips onto hers. Our mouths were mashing together, hers cold and aggressive, mine warm and desperate, and finally our lips connected in mutual need and yearning. The rain had gone mute in my ears and all I could hear was the sound of whimpers. Mine and hers, as we both gave in and surrendered to this longing neither of us could control.

Then suddenly a boot stomped in the mud beside us and Victoria was ripped away from me.

It was James.

His clothes were black and half burnt and the entire under side of his face was a scorched red blister and blackened strands of his hair were still smoking in the rain like struck matches. Victoria had been taken completely by surprise and she had no time to defend herself as he threw her to the side with all his vampire strength. She hit a tree with a massive crash and the trunk exploded in to splinters. I cried out and—

James grabbed my throat.

I cringed and gagged at the tightness. He stooped down and took his former mate's place on top of me, in almost exactly the same attitude, only his eyes were red and there was no conflict in them. Just pure malice.

"You bitch," he spat. "You stupid little…"

His hand tightened. I gagged and choked, my eyes dimming.

"I wanted very much to take my time with you," he said, "but I'm done playing. That was the last time I'll ever underestimate you, Ms Swan. Goodbye."

His fingers got even tighter and my world grew dark and—

"Stop," said a voice.

It was Victoria. She was standing there in the rain and my eyes rolled up to see her. James's fingers slackened slightly and he glared up at her.

"What did you say?"

"Stop," Victoria repeated. "Let her go."

James stared at her for a long moment. Then he let me go and rose.

I sucked in a breath and rolled over and grasped my neck and coughed and sputtered in the mud. Victoria and James were standing there, staring at each other, and the expression on Victoria's face was sad and lost.

"I can't do it, James," she said. "I thought I could, but I can't."

She turned and looked at me where I was laying in the mud. Her eye was filled with something she didn't even seem to understand and her voice came out very small.

"I need her," she whispered.

I coughed again, my eyes full of tears. Rain was falling on my face. I looked at James. He didn't seem to have any sympathy for these new feelings of Victoria's. He was staring at her in outright disgust with his burnt and melted face but he made no move to attack either of us.

"Very well," he said coldly. "Consider this my final gift to you, Victoria. You were a valuable partner for many years, but the next time we meet…"

He turned his evil red eyes to me where I was laying in the mud and looked back at Victoria.

"…you'd better guard her well."

Then he turned and sped away into the trees.

I had been propped up on an elbow and now I just collapsed into the mud. My eyes were closed and I was still coughing. My throat was so sore. Strangulation, smoke, gasoline fumes. I sobbed into the mud and shivered in the rain. So cold. So tired. I was struggling to roll onto my hands and knees when Victoria bobbed down beside me.

At first I looked at her in something like fear. But there was nothing on her face other than rain and regret and I slumped back into the mud, utterly exhausted.

My eyes were closed and I didn't hear her speak. I only felt her hands. Gathering me up to lift me in her arms. She had one arm under my knees and the other cradling me under my back. Like a bride. I put my arms around her neck for the extra support and gazed into her face. She gazed back and slowly I let my head come to rest in the crook of her neck. She hefted me slightly to improve her grip and then she started walking. We were headed downriver, away from the boat. The boat was still run aground, tilted over on the bank. I looked at it over her shoulder and turned back to her chest. My eyes fell closed again. The burns on my hands were throbbing in the cold and the wetness and I could smell my own burnt hair. I was soaked through and shivering but in her arms I felt safe and secure at last and I soon lost consciousness in the steady rhythm of her steps.

—

**AN: Whew! This one was intense. I gotta admit, though, I love how Bella's characterization is turning out. She started out as nothing but a depressed teenager, but by now she's basically a full blown Sarah Connor. And she's not even a vampire yet, lol. She has great chemistry with Victoria too. They push each other to their very limits and bring out the very best in each other, Bella's toughness, Victoria's softness. From here, however, hopefully they can catch a break for a bit. There's still plenty of things for them to deal with, but after sixteen chapters, I think they've finally earned some time alone together. :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: Wow, lol. So many reviews. I'm speechless. I was really hoping that last chapter would be awesome, so I'm absolutely ecstatic that everyone loved it. Thank you very much. :) **

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Chapter 17:

—

It was night when I woke and it had stopped raining. My head was lolling back and what I saw was the sky, black and endless and studded with stars here and there. It took me a moment before I realized that my entire body was stiff and sore and I groaned as I tried to squirm away from the pain.

Victoria stopped walking. I was still in her arms and we were on a road somewhere. She looked at me, not sure how to proceed, and I said:

"Can you set me down?"

She did, lowering my feet to the road and holding my arm until she was sure I had my balance. I looked at her. Her face was mostly expressionless, pale and smeared with dirt, one eye covered with the eye patch and the other watching me in something like concern mixed with her basic aversion for being concerned about anyone at all. I felt horrendous. My head was pounding and I was freezing cold and it was difficult to even stand with my weak knees and aching back. I put a hand in my hair and cringed at the grittiness there. Dirt and burnt residue. My hand came away with dead strands of hair in it. But it was mostly dry, so I guess it had to have been at least a few hours since…

Since everything.

I looked again at Victoria, the cold reality of my situation washing over me. We were out here in the middle of nowhere, just me and her, and there was no way I could even try to defend myself in my current state and no way to know how true her change of heart really was. I looked at her, my brow puckered slightly in suspicion, and she said:

"Can you walk?"

I nodded, wincing at my stiff neck. "Yeah."

She nodded as well and started walking. Slowly, so that I wouldn't have to struggle to keep up. I guess that was a good sign. Very considerate of her. I winced and hopped a step as my back locked up for a second. Damn, I was fucked up. But I could feel the stiffness leaving my muscles and soon I was limping along without much pain.

Limping and peering out across the landscape, wondering where we were. I looked back the way we came, but there was no sign of the river. No forest even. Everywhere I looked was nothing but an endless plain that brooded cold and dark blue in the moonlight.

I looked at Victoria. Her hair had dried and it was tangled and streaked with mud. She looked like some wild woman who'd escaped from a cave somewhere. She stared straight ahead, without even glancing at me, and at first it seemed weird to just walk along in silence without even the least notion of where we were going and what was going to happen to me. I'm guessing neither of us were much in the mood for a long and complicated conversation on the updated dynamics of our relationship, but I had to say something.

"So what now?" I asked.

She didn't look at me, just down the road. Her voice came out soft and without much of anything to it. "Now we walk."

"Where to?"

"Wherever the road goes."

I looked at her, shuffling along, still wincing with some steps. She continued looking down the road and I realized she probably had no clue about anything anymore either. So we walked, in silence, trudging onward to wherever we were going. After a while there was a sharp jab of pain in my lower back that made me gasp. She glanced at me.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

I shook my head, cringing and marching on. "No."

"Do you need a doctor?"

"I don't know."

"Let me see your hands."

I stopped, wincing, and she took my hands to examine them. One of them was partly covered by the burnt cast and they were red and sore and slightly blistered. The coolness of her own hands was soothing, like an ice pack. My face relaxed a little and I watched her expression as she turned them over and looked at my palms and turned them back again.

"Are they bad?" I asked.

She looked up at me. She was frowning slightly, in concern or maybe just annoyance, and she shook her head as she let them go. "No," she said. "You'll be alright."

I nodded and winced a smile. "How's my hair?"

She regarded me with some of her usual aloofness. "Dirty."

I touched my hair and tried to feel how bad it was. I could feel where it was burnt and there seemed to be a noticeable clump gone. Victoria watched me and I asked her, "How much got burnt?"

"Quite a bit. You might need a haircut."

"Fuck. I loved my hair."

"It'll grow back."

I nodded limply. In truth, I actually didn't give too many fucks about my hair right then. I winced up at the sky. Half a moon. Lots of blackness. I rubbed my eyes with my knuckles and squeezed them shut for a moment, as if trying to force myself to not feel so bad.

"I'm still so tired," I murmured.

"Do you want to carry you?"

The offer made my heart flutter. I looked at her and shook my head, offering a small smile. "No," I said. "I can walk."

She nodded and we continued on.

At first it was in silence. I was still discovering new pains and by now I became aware that my throat was still very sore. I could feel it when I swallowed. Like swallowing glass. I went to rub my throat but winced when I felt my neck was covered in bruises. Jeez. Had I taken a beating lately or what?

I sighed and kept walking, one foot after another. I guess I should be proud of myself. After all, I was still here. It was pretty much a miracle, but after everything I had been through, I was still here. Still alive. I might be bruised and limping and three different kinds of fucked up, but I never quit. Till the very end, I kept fighting. And I guess it paid off, because here I was.

I glanced at Victoria, a strange feeling in my heart. I didn't know how I was supposed to feel about her. She had saved my life, but she had certainly waited until the very last fucking second. And I still had no idea what her real motives were. It was impossible to change into a knight in shining armor overnight. She was still who she was.

I sighed and looked at the sky again. How far had we been walking? It felt like a long time. I looked down the road but it only stretched away into darkness. I glanced at Victoria.

"How far is the next town?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," she said. "Hopefully we can hitch a ride at some point." She looked back down the road for any cars.

"Hitchhiking is dangerous," I said.

She smiled and snorted at me once. "Dangerous for them, perhaps."

I smiled slightly at that, but I couldn't be sure if she was joking. She had been slightly injured back at the boat and she would probably have to feed soon. I didn't want to believe she was going to prey on the next unfortunate motorist to come along. My feelings for her were wrong enough already. Murder would definitely be a deal breaker. But I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, so I decided to approach the subject subtly.

"I see your eye's still yellow," I observed.

She didn't answer, she just continued trudging along and looking down the road. I smiled and tried a more lighthearted tactic.

"I guess you were saving your appetite for me, huh?"

This time she snorted. "Something like that."

"So you don't feed from humans at all anymore?"

"No," she said, glancing at me as if the restrictions to her palate were somehow my fault. "I don't."

I seemed to have pissed her off a little, so I decided to drop it. From what she said, I was pretty sure the citizens of the countryside were safe. If there was anyone in danger, it was me. But I was used to that by now.

Victoria turned back to the road and I watched her for a while. There seemed to be something very heavy weighing her down and I almost felt sorry for her. Her feelings for me, whatever they were, seemed to have really messed her up.

"You were really going to do it," I said. "Weren't you?"

"Do what?"

"Kill me. Back on the boat."

She glanced at me with that same distinct lack of passion in her face. Then she looked away and her voice came out just as empty as her expression.

"Yes," she said.

"What stopped you?"

"I don't know," she said, lifting her beautiful and dirty face to the moon. "Part of me feels like I haven't stopped at all."

I guess that meant she still wanted to kill me. Part of her, at least. I guess that should've worried me a bit more, but I had a questionable part of me too. Like the part of me which had caused me to lay in the mud and offer up my throat. That part of me was still there, and that part didn't not only care if she killed me or not, but even wanted her to.

Either way, it was an awkward area of conversation, so I guess we were lucky that a truck happened to choose that exact moment to come rumbling down the road behind us.

It was a large semi. Victoria turned and held out a thumb, walking backwards. I stopped and straightened my hair, flakes of mud falling away. We probably looked like a pair of witches from a swamp somewhere. Would the driver even stop? The truck was already slowing and I almost shook my head when it did in fact stop. As bad as we looked, I guess we were still young and female as well.

Victoria open the door into the cab and climbed up. I followed, wincing. The driver was an old man in overalls and he looked over our dishevelledness with his bushy eyebrows furrowed.

"Whoa, what happened to you girls?"

"Bad camping trip," Victoria told him. "Thanks for pulling over."

The man nodded, still looking us over in something like amazement. "No problem, although you really shouldn't be hitchhiking, especially at night. It's dangerous, if you didn't know, not to mention illegal."

"Dangerous for you, perhaps," Victoria said, and then shot me a smirk.

The driver chuckled, oblivious to the fact she might not be entirely joking, and accelerated out into the road. I cringed at her, also hoping she was joking, and put my seatbelt on.

It was a long drive and as he drove he inquired about the particulars of our ill-fated camping trip. Victoria told him a story and I was surprised at how adept she was at lying and manipulating her voice until she sounded as harmless as a little girl. Her voice was already quite high pitched and pretty, so it was fairly easy for her to play it up. I guess it was an effective tactic to lure in prey, the whole damsel in distress routine. I was paranoid she was doing that now and I was watching her for the entire drive, worried that she was going to spring for his neck at any moment. I was even prepared to try and restrain her and scream for him to run, as futile as it would be, but nothing like that happened. The truck continued to roll down the road and within the next hour we arrived at a small town called Ellensburg.

It was a very quaint little town, with clean streets and nice houses. We passed a huge windmill and even an old castle that had been there since the early settlers. The driver had been here before and Victoria asked if he could drop us off at a motel. He obliged, even though it was out of his way, and he even asked if we needed some money to see us through the night. Victoria played his sympathy like a fiddle and she wound up wheedling fifty dollars off him, enough for a motel room.

"Thank you so much," she was saying in her false little girl voice. "We have your number and we'll pay you back as soon as we can."

The man had given us his number, but he waved it off with a smile, not expecting us to actually do it. "You girls just be careful," he said. "Take care."

I had already gotten out and I lifted my hand to say thanks. Victoria got out as well and smiled at him and closed the door. The huge semi reversed out of the motel parking lot, beeping steadily, and then it was gone in a low rumble around the corner.

Victoria's smile evaporated instantly and she turned briskly to the motel office. I limped along behind her. There was a woman behind the counter, reading a magazine, and she looked up as we came in, dirty, limping, bruised and battered and me with a broken arm, lost waifs with no place to go. She rose and looked like she wanted to come around and help me to the desk, but Victoria only spread the money on the counter and asked for the cheapest room they had.

It was called the Rainbow Motel and the rooms were individual apartments, bedroom and bathroom, like little red brick cottages. We left the office with our key and went down the walkway, watching the numbers on the doors. When we found the room that was ours, Victoria opened it and let me in and closed the door again.

I wandered in slightly, one hand clutching my lower back. It was really painful by now. There was a smell of dust in the room and the bulb in the ceiling was a very bright yellow. I turned back to Victoria, wondering what we were supposed to do now. Laying down would probably hurt even more than walking and I didn't want to go to bed as filthy as I was. Victoria moved past me and bent to look through a window there, brushing aside the curtain with her hand. The window looked out on the rear of the property, where a small meadow ended at the edge of the forest, and I stood there for a moment.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," I said eventually.

She didn't nod or otherwise acknowledge that I had spoken. It made me sad a little bit but I turned away and went into the bathroom.

The first thing I did was look in the mirror. I looked even worse than I felt. Bruises on my throat, dirt everywhere, a leaf lodged in the bird's nest of my hair. I plucked out the leaf and tossed it on the ground.

The shower was in the bathtub and there were some towels on a rack. I turned the water on and then I started peeling out of my clothes, wincing with stiff shoulders as I shrugged off my jacket, cringing as I lifted my top over my head. The top got caught on my cast and it required a bit of tugging. The cast itself had gone soft from all the water it had absorbed and I'd probably need another one. It had even unravelled a little. It felt very damp and annoying on my arm, so I decided to try and pull it off. It was still pretty tight, and I was afraid of re-breaking the arm, but eventually it came away. I tossed it in the sink and wrinkled my nose at the smell of a forearm that hadn't been washed in over a month. Sheesh. But as bad as the smell was, the arm itself seemed okay. I made a fist and opened it again, measuring the pain in the bone. It wasn't so bad.

After that, I got into the shower. At first I just rinsed myself, letting all the filth wash away. The tub under my feet was white and the water that sloughed off me and swirled down the drain was pale brown from all the dirt in my hair. Finally I took up a bar of soap and started washing, limply and with pain, paying particular attention to my forearm where the cast had been. After that, I washed my hair. A whole area had been burnt away on the left side and it felt weird under my hands. I shampooed and used the conditioner and then I rinsed it all out and just stood there with my eyes closed and the hot water pelting my head.

I was almost asleep on my feet by the time I got out. Showers had always made me sleepy, even when I wasn't already completely exhausted. I dried myself with a towel and kicked my dirty clothes in a pile. I didn't want to put any of that back on, so I just wrapped the towel around myself and went back into the room.

Victoria was still watching out the window, only now she had pulled up a chair to sit down. I guess she was on the lookout for James. Or Jasper. Or Alice. Or any of the Cullens. I guess she had a lot of enemies now.

"Shower's free," I said.

She nodded at the window and then she rose and turned around and—

—saw I was wearing nothing but a towel.

It was only a split second, but it put a hitch in her step before she quickly shook away whatever thought had tripped her up. I felt a tiny thrill as well and if I wasn't so beaten and battered at the moment I might've wondered where such a glance could lead.

"I have to go out," she said, avoiding to look at me. "I'll shower later."

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"We'll need supplies. Clothes. Money. And I need to hunt."

"You're not going to hurt anyone, are you?"

She opened the door and turned back with a snort and a look of distain in her cold yellow eye. "Rest assured, Ms Swan," she said. "The only person I want to hurt is you."

Then she left and slammed the door.

I smiled vaguely at her words, shaking my head, and then I flipped off the light and got into the bed. Why did she have such a hard time admitting that she liked me? It was weird. I guess she was so used to being evil that anything good felt wrong. I thought about that and for the first time I realized how sad it was that the only things that truly made her comfortable were blood, pain, and death. She was so lost in her darkness that she didn't even know how to process her feelings for me. Feelings that went a little deeper than violence. Feelings that were the direct opposite. Feelings that made her want her to keep me from danger even as much as she wanted to inflict it on me.

And my own feelings? Were they complicated as well? I thought about it as I drifted toward sleep but right then, at that moment, my feelings seemed very simple.

I slept like a stone through the night and it was midmorning when I woke. Bright in the room, even with the curtains closed. Victoria was once again sitting by the window, peering out a crack in the drapes, and there was a perfect shaft of sunlight that sparkled across her face. She had showered at some point and her skin was as brilliant as marble and diamond and with the sun in her bright red hair she looked like some autumn nymph from the forest who'd snuck into the room while I was sleeping. My head was still on the pillow and I'm not sure how long I simply laid there and smiled at her sleepily.

Eventually she must've noticed the change of rhythm in my breathing and she glanced over. The turn of her face revealed the eyepatch and a certain sinisterness. For all her beauty, she was still a very cold woman.

I sat up in the bed, holding the covers up to my chest. The towel had come away and it was lost somewhere between the sheets. I squinted about the room. There was a large pile of clothes on the ground and a stack of cash on the table. Stolen, I guess. I turned back to Victoria and I tossed my chin at the window.

"What are you looking for?" I asked.

She sighed and stood up. "If you don't recall, there are quite a few people hunting us."

I did recall, I was just trying to make conversation. She moved past the bed and started gathering up some money from the pile on the table.

"After you eat, I'll take you to a doctor," she said. Then she glanced at me and added: "And a hairdresser."

I chuckled and lifted a hand to the scraggly clump of hair over my temple. "Hairdresser first," I said.

She smiled at that and I felt a tiny thrill of accomplishment. Maybe it was possible to loosen her up after all. She tucked the money into the pocket of her jeans and nodded at a cellphone that was on the sideboard beside the alarm clock.

"There's a cellphone there if you want to call anyone," she said.

"You're not afraid I'll…"

Wrong thing to say. She went cold again and snorted angrily. "Do whatever you want, Ms Swan," she said. "It matters nothing to me."

Then she pulled open the door, flipped up her hoodie, and went out into the sunlight.

I sighed and turned my eyes back to the phone. Despite her bluster, it was obviously a good sign that she trusted me enough with a cellphone. A very good sign. A great sign, in fact. Actually, it was almost very stupid of her. I could call anyone. I could call a cab. I could call my dad. I could call Jake and the wolves. I could call Alice to come get me. I could…

But my thoughts drifted away as I realized I didn't really want to do any of that. I took the phone and held it in my lap, still sitting there in the bed. It was a cheap flip phone and slowly I unfolded it to look at the screen. The freedom it represented was actually very oppressive to me. I could feel it physically weighing me down with responsibility and guilt. Because I really did need to call someone. I needed to call my dad, for starters. I had to check if he was okay and to let him know I was safe. And I needed to call Alice as well. Especially Alice. She was probably losing her mind from worry. She might even be looking for me right now, scouring her visions and seeing nothing but some dingy motel room. And more than that, she needed to know what happened with Jasper. She needed to know what kind of person he really was. Something had to be done and it had to be done right now. It was inexcusable to let her linger in that unnatural relationship for even a second longer without calling her. She was my bestfriend. She was the woman I thought I loved. And yet…

I snapped the phone closed, fighting back tears.

I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. Not yet. Not Alice, not my dad, no one. If that made me selfish, so be it. I deserved a break from all this shit. At least until the bruises heal, for fuck's sake. Is that so much to ask? After everything I had been through, didn't I deserve just a few days alone with…

…Victoria?

I shook my head, disappointed with myself. Because that was the real reason. The sooner I called someone, the sooner all this was over. And I didn't want that. Even if my dad would be worried sick and even if Alice would continue to be with a monster like Jasper, I didn't care. Because I finally had an opportunity to be alone with Victoria for a while and that was what I wanted more than anything. So I put the phone back on the sidetable and took a deep breath. This time it was my turn to be selfish.

I felt guilty about it but I continued to rationalize as I went for a shower. The burns on my hands were even more painful this morning, especially under the water, and I was still covered in bruises and soreness. More than that, I needed to think and plan ahead. Especially concerning Jasper. After all, it wasn't only about Alice. Jasper was the one who let James live and it was James who killed my mother. Which meant Jasper was just as much to blame as James was. I needed to think and plan and before I had even finished in the shower my head was filled with fantasies of Victoria turning me into a vampire before we launched a righteous crusade of vengeance against both Jasper and James, with Alice perhaps tagging along as a sidekick. In reality, however, I wasn't even sure if Victoria wasn't going to still kill me. Besides which, I was pretty positive she wouldn't even consider turning me into a vampire. Newborns have far more strength than normal vampires and I was dangerous enough as a regular human. Just yesterday I had almost killed her with nothing but a flaregun, a bit of luck, and a whole bunch of badass, so I highly doubt she'd trust me with the strength of a newborn. Not yet, anyway. Either way, I felt I was at least a little justified in not calling anyone. Given my injuries and the uncertainty of everything, maybe patience was the smart call.

I sighed and got out the shower, dabbing myself dry with a towel before putting on the clothes I had selected from the pile in the other room. Just jeans and a top. The top was black with a silver rose on it and blood dripping from one of the thorns. I looked at it in the mirror and nodded satisfactorily. Victoria had good taste.

Around this time I became aware that I was very hungry. Victoria had thought of that too, the sweetheart, and I found a small group of breakfast burritos on the table. Four of them. Either she had no idea how much a human typically ate, or she was expecting company. I unwrapped one of them and started to eat it. It was cold but I wasn't much fussed. I had finished it and I was unwrapping the second one when Victoria got back. I had been watching out the window and I saw her pull up in the parking lot in a modest red Toyota that I suppose she had rented. Red seemed to be her color, and why not? It suited her. I took a quick chomp from the burrito and then I put it down and hurried out to meet her.

The first place she took me too was a hairstylist. The woman who served me had blue streaks in her hair and she reacted with great sympathy to the burn damage my long beautiful hair had sustained. She insisted on knowing what happened and Victoria told her about an accident involving a campfire and reckless use of lighter fluid. The story made me seem a little ditzy, but I guess it wasn't possible to tell the truth and paint myself as the kamikaze vampire killer that I in fact had been.

The woman shook her head mournfully and sat me down and whipped an apron around me. She was already picking at my hair, explaining my options, and I was looking through a binder of hairstyles she had given me, flipping through them idly and wondering if it was time for a change. Should I play it safe and simply trim away the burn damage and wait for it to grow back? Or should I do something crazy? I would've liked to ask Victoria's opinion, but we hadn't magically become BFFs since this morning, and she was sitting across the salon in the waiting area. She was reading a magazine but I did notice her glance at me over the top of it a few times, little flickers of her eye as if she wanted to look at me but didn't want me to know about it.

In the end, I decided to cut it all off.

Well, most of it.

I had lost count how many times I had been grabbed by the hair and dragged around over the last month and all that was going to stop right now, let me tell you. So I pointed out one of the haircuts in the binder and the woman asked me if I was sure and I said I was. Moments later she had her shears out and she was cutting off whole ropes off my hair. Victoria was watching me over the top of her magazine and her eye seemed slightly stunned as it watched lock after lock of my long dark hair hit the floor. I smiled at her expression and knew this was the right thing to do. As much as I loved my hair, I had been overdue for a change for a very long time.

By the time the stylist was done, I looked like Anne Hathaway in _Les Miz_. My hair was even darker toward the roots and it was like a pitch black nap of fur over my head with stylishly sexy bangs. I looked at myself in the mirror and it was so weird to see my ears and my neck. I couldn't wait to get my hands on some earrings. My eyes looked larger as well, large and dark and very sexy. The stylist was holding a mirror behind me so that I could examine the back and I told her I liked it very much. Victoria had put her magazine away a while ago and now she was standing by and staring into the mirror absently, as if she wasn't even aware she was staring. I smiled at her with my new haircut and said:

"How do I look?"

My voice seemed to snap her out of her little daze. She snorted, as if she wasn't impressed at all, and then she took some money out of her pocket to pay the stylist. I smiled and waited and my heart gave a flutter as she snuck another glance at me discreetly.

Next stop was the doctor. The town only had one doctor, who's office was in a small residential area, and we had a small wait before I could see him. He examined my hands and told me they'd be fine in a couple days. They were red almost up to my elbows and the dead skin was already flaking away. He prescribed me a lotion and told me to apply it three times a day. The rest of my injuries were just bumps and bruises. I mentioned my arm and he gave it a brief examination. He said I should go down to the hospital for an x-ray and another cast and I nodded but I figured it would be alright as it was. I was sick of wearing a cast.

Back in the car, I didn't mention the hospital, just the pharmacy. Victoria picked up the lotion I needed and I applied it right there in car. After that she drove me to the grocery store and we picked up some things I would need. Bottled water. Food. Toothbrush. She followed me down the aisles, silent and vigilant. She was constantly on the lookout and constantly looking at me as well. I caught her a few times, staring at my hair or my face. Or at my body. She couldn't seem to keep her eyes off me and it made me excited and vulnerable and a little frustrated at how she wouldn't speak to me. I could understand that things were very complicated between us right now, but they were never going to get simpler if we didn't talk about it.

Outside the sun had gone behind a cloud. The nape of my neck was no longer covered in a curtain of hair and I could feel the cold wind on it. I got into the car and Victoria threw the groceries into the trunk. I watched her as she came around and got in behind the wheel. She reached for the key but then she just stopped and sat there. I looked at her in concern.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She glanced at me but she didn't seem to have any words for it. I wish I knew what was on her mind. I looked at the windshield and back at her.

"Where are we going now?" I asked.

She took a deep breath. "I don't know."

I looked at her for a moment and realized I didn't know either. It wasn't like I could go home. Or to school. Or back to the Cullens. Not if I wanted Victoria in my life.

"Yeah," I said. "I guess you're right."

Her face hardened and she glanced at me again. "Did you call anyone this morning?"

I went defensive. "No."

"Why not?" she demanded.

I had been frowning at her but now my frown softened. At first I thought she was accusing me of trying to get away from her. But now I realized that she was accusing me of NOT trying to get away from her.

Suddenly her behaviour made much more sense. Her coldness, her aloofness. All this time I had been her prey to chase and now I was something else and she had no idea how to treat me anymore. The only thing that hadn't changed was her basic craving for my blood. Even though she was taking care of me, there was probably a very large part of her that had been hoping I would betray her and call Alice to come get me. Revenge had always been so much easier for her to understand. That was kind of sad.

She noticed my expression change, the sympathy in it, and scoffed and turned the key in the ignition.

"Victoria, don't you think we should talk about this?" I asked.

She didn't answer, she just reversed out the parking space and turned the car into the road. I sighed at her but decided to let it go.

For now.

She didn't speak to me much for the rest of the night and we didn't leave the motel room. I turned the TV on and watched whatever came on. Sitcom. Game show. An old movie. I was sitting in the bed, propped up against the headboard, and Victoria was sitting by the window. She had her back to the TV and nothing out the window seemed very fascinating to her either. She kept one eye on me and it was the only eye she had. I noticed every time she glanced at me, each flicker of her eye causing a flutter in my heart. I was applying the lotion to my hands and frowning at her, waiting for her to glance again. She did, and this time I held her eye until the glance became a glare and she looked away.

It must've been maddening for her to be in the same room with me after hungering for me for so long at a distance, but didn't she understand that it was maddening for me too? I mean, fuck. Here we were in a MOTEL ROOM together, just the two of us, just me and her, two single women who quite literally HUNGERED for one another on a supernatural life and death level, and…am I the only one who was wondering if we were gonna have sex here? Because it seemed like a pretty goddamn nifty idea to me. My body thought so as well, if that annoying throb was anything to go by. I mean, sure I was still a little sore and my hands were still a bit fucked up. And yeah, maybe it would be a little awkward without at least one non-violent conversation between us in which we admitted we had feelings for each other. But still. Had the idea even occurred to her? It probably wouldn't be quite as satisfying as ripping me to pieces and bathing in my blood—or whatever vampires liked to do—but I'm sure it beat late night television.

I pursed my lips and stared at the TV.

Victoria glanced at me again.

Goddamn that bitch was driving me crazy.

Eventually I got tired and frustrated enough to go to sleep, so I asked her very pointedly if she would mind if I turned the light off. She told me to go ahead without looking at me, so I did, and then I got back in bed, snuggled down roughly, and closed my eyes. I mean, all I wanted to do was talk.

The next day it was more of the same. My hands had cleared up a whole bunch and even more of the soreness in my muscles was gone. Even the bruises on my neck had begun to fade. Victoria was still stationed at her window and I hardly saw her move at all. I began the morning by brushing my teeth and admiring my new hair in the mirror. I really did look so sexy. Kind of cute and boyish, but sexy and badass as well. Victoria seemed to like it, if her constant glances meant anything. I'd always preferred long hair, but I guess I had been changing a lot recently. I smiled and felt the shortness with my fingers, toothbrush still in my mouth. It felt weird and it kind of reminded me of Alice. Which reminded me that I really should call her. Which caused me to spit slowly in the sink and wonder if there was any point to staying here with Victoria. Yesterday had been pretty uneventful, but maybe she just needed some time to sort out whatever she was feeling?

I went back into the room and helped myself to an apple for breakfast. Yum. Very nutritious. Victoria glanced at the sound of the apple crunch, her eye flickering at my face, and I kicked back on the bed.

"So, um," I said. "Are we doing anything today?"

"Just rest," she said, turning back to the window. "You're still hurt."

I sighed and looked at my hands. They had cleared up a lot overnight, but I guess she had a point. I sighed again, and when I looked up from my hands, I caught her staring at me.

She turned back to the window.

I took another loud bite of the apple.

All that day I did nothing but watch TV and rest up. My arm was doing pretty good as well. I would have to be very careful with it, since the cast wasn't supposed to be off yet, but I could stroke it under my hand and only feel a very slight pain. It was hard to believe that it had been Victoria herself who broke it. This very woman in the motel room, sitting in just that little crack of sunlight with her skin sparkling. I stared at her for a while, the TV droning in the background. I looked at her hair. So deep and red. I looked at her face. Her features were sharp and feline, like an exotic jungle cat, and I spent a moment wishing she would just loosen up. I had tried to speak to her a few times, but she kept brushing me off, and eventually she began to annoy me so much by how she was sitting at the window like that, that I snapped at her and told her to watch some goddamn TV for a change. She turned to look at me dryly and then she surprised me by rising to her feet, silently, and coming over to sit on the bed with me to watch TV.

A shiver passed over me as the mattress tilted from her weight. The bed was a double, and we were as far apart as possible, but there was still a very distinct tension between us. I frowned and glared at the TV, trying to resist the urge to glance at her. Eventually I did and found her frowning at the TV exactly the same way I had been.

She stayed there on the bed until the sun began to go down and then she offered to go buy me some dinner, even asking me what I wanted. I told her I could go for a pizza and she went right out to get it. For some reason it struck me as an incredibly sweet gesture, especially from a woman like her. She was back in ten minutes with the pizza piping hot and I was only slightly disappointed that she didn't bring me roses as well. She did however bring me a lava cake dessert and a bottle of soft drink, which really did seem like the nicest thing anybody had ever done for me. Perhaps I was just horny and eager to be pleased. I started eating right away and the night turned into almost a pseudo-date, with an old Meg Ryan movie on the TV and me with my pizza and Victoria right beside me on the bed. She even laughed once at the movie, a sound that almost made me wet.

But alas, it wasn't meant to be. Not on that night. We stayed up for a long time, even chatting, but eventually she said I should go to sleep. She was probably right. I asked if she could turn the light off for me and I went asleep that night with a smile on my face and the sense that we had made some real progress in our relationship. She had even said goodnight to me.

The next day was mostly the same and the day after that as well. After the seventh day I was completely healed. Even the bruises had faded away into the milky whiteness of my skin. Victoria had kept a close eye on my health, as if she was waiting for me to get better before she did something rough to me, and the sexual tension was at its peak. We could hardly look at each other without being turned on. And by now, with all my wounds healed, there were no longer any excuses. We had to at least talk.

Victoria seemed to sense it as well and that night she took a shower. It surprised me, because vampires didn't need to shower unless they had actual grime stuck to them, and she hadn't showered at all this past week. But for some reason she wanted to shower that night. Hmm. I sat on the bed, watching TV but really listening to the sound of the shower. I was wondering why she would bother when the water turned off. A few minutes later the bathroom door open and I turned to glance at her.

She was still drying her hair and she was wearing nothing but a towel.

I stared at her with my mouth open.

I mean, seriously?

SERIOUSLY?!

Hadn't we been driving each other crazy enough lately without parading about our private motel room in nothing but a towel? I tried not to stare too much, but it was impossible. It was the first time I had ever seen her so…revealed. Her legs were blinding white, _blinding_, and they were the longest and shapeliest legs I had ever seen. I wanted to lick my lips just from looking at them, but instead my eyes wandered up, over her hips and waist, her shoulders, her neck. Her marble arms were aloft in the air as she tussled her hair and her large white breasts were almost spilling from the bust of the towel. There was a slight muscular definition in her shoulders and biceps and her body had a very powerful sexuality to it, like a female stallion. Victoria smiled at my reaction and swaggered over to her usual perch by the window.

"Shower's free if you wanted to use it," she mentioned casually.

Instantly my heart was pounding.

That was a signal.

That was a fucking signal, and don't try to tell me that wasn't a goddamn signal, because I know what a signal is when I hear it and that was a motherfucking—

I hopped off the bed and went to take a shower.

I made the water really hot and my body felt like it was going to melt down the drain. Was tonight the night? Was she finally ready to, um…talk? No, I didn't think she wanted to talk. I thought maybe she had something else on her mind. I just hoped it was the same thing I had on my own mind, although that didn't mean I wasn't incredibly nervous all the sudden. I mean, it was one thing to think about sex, but it was another to actually do it. Was I ready to take this step? With a woman I wasn't even in a proper relationship with? And more importantly: a _woman_?

But I pushed those thoughts away and hurried out of the shower to dry myself and brush my teeth. Now wasn't the time for thinking. Now was the time to _do_ something. Victoria and I had been stranded in this motel room for a exactly a week and we had done nothing but fight against feelings neither of us understood and we were never going to understand them unless we actually did something about them. So even if I was completely misinterpreting her signals, I promised myself that tonight I was going to do something. One way or another, tonight was the night.

By the time I came out of the bathroom, Victoria was still at the window and still wearing nothing but that towel. She had one leg drawn up on the chair, her elbow resting on her knee, and my heart started racing all over again at the sight of her perfect marble skin. There was a sitcom on the TV and I heard a loud bray of laughter, as if my nervousness was funny. I grabbed the remote and turned it off. Victoria hadn't looked at me once since I had come out the bathroom and by now I was wondering if I really did misinterpret her signals. I went around to the other side of the bed, the side closest to her, and sat on the edge gingerly with my knees together. Like her, I was wearing nothing but a towel.

"Victoria," I said. "We need to talk."

Finally she turned to look at me. Despite her boldness earlier, she now seemed disheartened that I had actually responded. Her eye flittered over my bare knees and back to my face. "About what?"

"About this," I said, forcing my voice to be firm. "About us. We can't keep going on like this, not knowing what either of us means to the other. You've had a whole week to think about it and now it's time to talk. I mean, by now you have to have at least some idea of how you feel about me, right?"

I looked at her imploringly. All I wanted was for her to communicate. She lowered her eye and sighed and rubbed her temples as if she didn't know where to begin.

"I don't even know if I can explain it," she said.

I was glad she worded it like that because it gave me the perfect rejoinder. The coyness came completely naturally as I blushed slightly and said:

"Well…maybe you could show me instead?"

She looked up. I let my knees loosen slightly. It would've been almost imperceptible, but she noticed. She noticed and smiled and the corner of her smile lifted into a smirk.

"I don't think you'd like to see how I really feel," she said.

"Yes," I said, staring steadily into her face. "I would."

She returned my gaze for a long moment. Then she rose.

I didn't move, I just sat there and watched as she took two slow steps to stand directly in front of me. My head was tilted completely back so that I could look up at her and she put a hand on my head and caressed her fingers through my new haircut. Then her hand came down and cupped the nape of my neck.

I still didn't move, just patiently waited for her to decide if she was going to kiss me or not. I blinked up at her expectantly. She caressed my neck and smiled a little and then she began to lean down. Her lips got closer and I craned upwards slightly, like a begging puppy. She hesitated for just a second, her lips so maddeningly close, and then she leaned the last few inches and placed her mouth on mine.

The touch of them triggered a surge in my heart and it only took a moment for me to open my mouth and accept her tongue inside it. I heard her nose breathe in, a sharp inhale of my scent, and her hand tightened at the nape of my neck. I craned my head even higher to encourage her, moaning softly, and she began to deepen the kiss even further, making me moan even more and throb between my legs until finally I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her toward me.

At first she came willingly and then she came aggressively. The kiss broke for a few short instances as we settled on the bed but instantly she would be kissing me again, forceful thrusts of her lips that pushed me back across the mattress until my head was on the pillow. Then she was on top of me, cupping my face in her hands and kissing my mouth with a passion that was hungry and desperate and only half-restrained. I was groaning now, from the frustration between my legs, and I kept arching into her and seeking any kind of friction. Her lips had left my mouth and now she was kissing my face, my cheek, my jawline as I gasped for breath and writhed for more, more, so much more. My hands were fumbling at her body and finally her towel came loose and fell away. I clawed her back, whimpering with need, and—

She bit my jaw.

It didn't break the skin but it hurt enough for me to cry out. She recoiled instantly, sitting up with a look on her face that was aghast at what she'd almost done, as if the intention behind the bite had been to crunch through my entire jawbone. She was taking little shuddering breaths and her whole body was trembling with something a little more than lust. Her towel was a tangled clump on the bed beside us and she was wearing nothing, nothing at all to cover the magnificence of her round, full, beautiful alabaster breasts.

"I'm sorry," she wheezed. "I don't think I can—"

I rose from the pillow without listening and took her nipple into my mouth.

Her words cut off in a cry of her own as that icy little pebble was engulfed in the heat of my mouth. It had happened automatically, without me even thinking about it. The sight of her breasts and those pale pink nipples had caused me to lose control as surely as she almost had. Only I had no reason to restrain myself, and I didn't. I moaned and sucked on her nipple, my stomach churning with a hunger of my own. Her hands had flown to my skull, as if to push me away, but instead she was holding me at her chest as she preened and rubbed her breast into my mouth.

Eventually I moved on to the other one and I calmed down enough to lick it first, a delicate lick as if to taste it, a lick that made her flinch and gasp, and then I took this one into my mouth as well and sucked on it and moaned and stroked both globes with my hands as her breathing became more and more ragged. Finally I rose up on my knees and took her face in my hands. Her pale cheeks had actually gone pink and a very faint warmth was coming from them. I didn't know vampires could actually blush like that. She looked at me with her one eye glazed over in a dark and helpless lust and I kissed her.

She returned the kiss, moaning, and her hands were pulling away my towel. Finally we were both naked and I pushed my chest at her, mashing our breasts together, rubbing them, crushing my soft warmth into her silken coolness. She wrapped her arms around me and grabbed my butt and I did the same to her and we moaned into each other's mouths and fought for dominance with our tongues until she became so desperate with restraint that she cried out and pushed me away roughly.

I landed on the pillow, bouncing. She was still kneeling there, her eye squeezed shut and a hand clenched in her hair as she fought against her darker urges. I watched her and let my eyes roam over her quivering body, not afraid in the least. It wasn't that I trusted her not to hurt me. It was that I truly didn't mind anymore. Not if it was on my own terms. I suppose it was unfair of me, but I didn't even contemplate a graceful retreat to the bathroom so that she could calm down. Instead I just gazed at her with all my lust revealed and whispered:

"Victoria."

Her eye opened and looked at me darkly. I smiled and took her hand.

"It's okay," I said, tugging her back on top of me. "Don't stop."

She descended slowly, cupping my face. Her eye softened and looked at my flushed face in concern.

"I could kill you," she said.

But I just smiled and pulled her into a kiss and chuckled into her mouth. "If you were capable of killing me, you would've done it a long time ago," I said. "Now shut up and fuck me."

I had only a split second to see her eye glaze over at my words and then—

I gave a muffled scream as her mouth coated mine in a vicious kiss. My head pressed into the pillow from the force of it and it felt like her tongue was going to knock my teeth out. I laughed and moaned in sheer and utter helplessness and I didn't have a single second thought. I just wrapped my arms around her and one of my legs and bucked my body at her as if to taunt her and dare her to do something to it and finally she did.

She abandoned my mouth and instantly she was between my legs. I was all wet and sticky down there and I only had time to look down and see her beautiful red hair between my thighs for a split second before—

She licked me.

But it wasn't just a lick, it was a lick with all her vampiric hunger and strength behind it, a long hard plow of her tongue that rocked my entire body backwards until my head bumped off the headboard and a strange groan came out of me. My eyes had rolled back into my head and I didn't even get a chance to recover before there was another lick and another one, cold lashes of her tongue that rocked me back and forth on the bed as she lapped up the wetness that was all but gushing out of me. The sensations were insane and the moans that came out of my mouth sounded like they were coming from another person. I cried and whimpered and the licks kept coming, her tongue washing up against my entrance over and over again with the force of a tsunami, relentless waves of ice cold lust that crashed against my red hot core in great crescendos of joy, bliss, elation until finally—

I came.

My body completely twisted off the mattress and I screamed out loud as my hands clenched in the sheets. Victoria had somehow managed to restrain from tearing me apart but the orgasm showed me no such mercy. It felt like my body was going to burst into a bunch of tiny well-fucked pieces. My scream grew and went silent and then finally trailed off into little whimpers as I sank back onto the sweaty sheets, heaving, wheezing, vaguely amazed at even being alive after such a thing. Victoria was still down there between my legs and my eyes fluttered open with tears in them. She was licking up the last of my moisture, as if my arousal was second only to my blood and she wanted every last drop. She was very gentle now, her licks slow and deliberate, and these last attentions felt almost nicer than the orgasm. I watched her until she was done and I felt a great swell of love for her.

Finally she raised up and looked at me where I lay there all sweaty and heaving. The fact that I was still alive seemed to have given her confidence and she wasn't even trembling anymore. She crawled over to my face and stroked down my damp hair and coiled her fingers in it. She seemed to really like the shortness. She smiled at me and stroked away my trembles and then she kissed me softly, once, twice, and then she crawled further up my body until she was straddling my face.

It was the first time I had seen another woman's entrance up close like this, and I was surprised at how beautiful and desirable it was, Victoria's in particular. White, wet, glistening with ice cold arousal. A pale pink slit, swollen at the edges. A light furring of fine red hair. I hooked my arms around her thighs and lifted my mouth to lick it. She was looking down at me and she shivered beautifully at the hot touch of my tongue. I tasted her moisture, gazing up at her, and licked again. She smiled and pushed her hips at me which caused me to smile as well as I lowered my eyes and closed them and focused on licking her as lavishly as I could.

I had no experience at this kind of thing but Victoria gave me a hand by stroking the hard nub of her clit as she watched me do it. By now I was basically making out with her lower body, my arms hooked around her thighs and my mouth plastered to her vagina as I moaned into her and hungrily ate her out. Her arousal was delicious, a faint sweetness to it, and the whole area was slick and silky and all desirable. Her own moans were becoming louder and whenever I opened my eyes I could see her gazing down at me, her brow becoming tighter and tighter as her orgasm approached. She was rubbing herself into my mouth, pushing at my face with her hips with steadily increasing aggressiveness, until suddenly she gasped and jerked them back. I understood why right away. She was climaxing and the spasm of her vagina had almost snipped off the tip of my tongue. Her body arched in orgasm, perched there on my face like a queen, and I laid there and watched her enjoy it and fight against it all at the same time.

It seemed to have taken a lot out of her. She slumped over my face, like a flower wilting, and then she dismounted and let herself flop onto the bed. It was probably the restraint that wore her out more than anything else.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She opened her eye. It was lidded, like a cat's, and much darker than it was earlier in the evening. She didn't answer but she didn't have to.

We were laying on our sides, facing each other, and after a moment, I got out of the bed and turned off the light and came back. It was pitch black in the room but I managed to fix the blankets before climbing back into the bed.

Victoria had gone silent in the dark but she was still there. I found her under the covers and I wrapped one leg around her. She went to move but I held her down.

"Stay here," I said.

"You'll get cold."

"Stay," I repeated.

She settled back and I felt a small thrill of power at how I had told her what to do. Her body was cool and sleek and I snuggled closer to it with my head on the same pillow as hers. Her hand came to my waist and after a while she began to stroke my skin gently.

It made me smile and it was a long time before either of us spoke. That was fine with me. I wanted to simply enjoy the intimacy for a while. My heart was throbbing steadily and there wasn't a single thought in my head. The only thing I was aware of was how cool and smooth her body was.

Finally I heard her sigh in the dark.

"Well," she said. "I guess there's no need to talk about it, after all."

I smiled with my eyes closed. "Nice try," I said. "But this didn't solve anything. Well…not _every_thing."

She sighed again and continued stroking my side. It felt so nice.

"Tell you what," I said. "Since you're so incapable of figuring out what you want from this relationship, let me tell you what I want."

"Go ahead."

I leaned to her ear as if to tell her a secret. "I want us to be together," I whispered. Then I chuckled and leaned back. "See? That's all I want. Simple, right?"

She didn't answer. I smiled and snuggled closer.

"And I'm not taking no for an answer. Not anymore."

"You really think it's that simple?"

"Sure. I mean, why not?"

"You truly have no idea how much danger you're in, do you?"

"Let me stop you right there," I said, my voice turning stern. "Don't talk to me about danger, alright? I know all about danger and I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions."

"But that's just the thing," she whispered silkily, almost threatfully. "Whatever I do to you…it's not going to be your decision."

"Look, just stop," I said, sitting up in the bed to break the intimacy. "I've had enough of that bullshit. And let me tell you right now, Victoria, I'm not going to stand for any kind of abusive relationship. If you think you can just casually threaten me just for fun, you've got another thing coming. If you don't treat me properly, I'll just go. So don't even think about hurting me or hitting me or trying to kill me ever again. _Ever_. Do you understand?"

I heard a sound like a smile in the dark. "You didn't seem to object to the threat of death tonight."

I blushed slightly. Thank god it was pitch black in the room. "That's different," I said. "It wasn't against my will. Regardless, you get the point. If you don't start treating me properly, I walk. Got it?"

"You really think I'd let you leave if I didn't want you to?"

"You'd have to kill me to stop me. I'm serious, Victoria. I'm not going to be in an abusive relationship. Do you understand?"

She didn't reply. I frowned at the darkness.

"Do you understand?" I repeated.

She chuckled softly. "Did you know vampires can see in the dark?"

At first I didn't know what that had to do with anything.

Then I blushed and covered my breasts with my forearm.

She chuckled again, and even though she was a total bitch, it did make me loosen up a little. I settled back down under the covers and snuggled back to her body. She took me in her arms and held me.

"Don't be embarrassed," she said. "You have very lovely breasts."

I blushed even harder. Fucking bitch was making me horny again.

"I'm serious about this, Victoria," I said. "I want you to promise you'll treat me properly."

She sighed and stroked my side. "Very well," she said. "If I must."

I sighed as well, greatly relieved, and my relief caused me to babble a little bit. "Thank you," I said. "I mean, I know you're a vampire, and I know you've lived a certain lifestyle for many years—and I'm very understanding of that—but there's certain things I just can't condone, and you need to understand that I'm not able to just…"

"Shh," she whispered, silencing me.

I went quiet and I was a little disappointed at how my earlier assertiveness had melted so quickly into anxiety. But it was out there now and I whispered: "I just don't want to be afraid anymore."

"Me neither."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "What are you afraid of?"

"The same thing you are. Hurting you."

I went quiet again. I could feel her hand, the coolness of it, sliding up and down my side. Eventually she spoke again.

"You mean a lot to me, Ms Swan," she whispered. "More than I ever realized. If anything were to happen to you…even by my own hand…"

She trailed off. I waited for her to go on and she blew out an abrupt breath.

"In any case, talking is pointless," she said. "Let me prove myself by how I treat you over time. You're not the only one who seeks assurance. I'm worried about myself as well."

"Okay," I said, nodding into the pillow.

She hesitated for a moment, still stroking me, and then she spoke again. "Do you want to know the real reason I stopped feeding from humans?"

"I thought it was to sharpen your appetite for me?"

"No," she whispered. "That wasn't the reason. That was just the excuse I used to justify what I thought was weakness. The real reason I stopped feeding from humans was because I knew you could never love a murderer. I knew it would be the one thing you could never condone. And even back then, there was always some part of me that strove for your affections more than your blood. I fought against it for a long time, but I'm slowly coming to terms with it. So don't worry. I'll earn your love, Ms Swan. I don't believe I could do without it anymore."

Tears of happiness flooded my eyes in the dark and I had to blink them a few times. I raised up slightly to look at the darkness on the pillow where her face would be and I groped to cup her cheek.

"Thank you, Victoria," I said. "That's so sweet."

My words made her snort.

"I know," she said. "I even sicken myself."

I gave a wet giggle and fumbled a kiss onto her face, first her chin, then the corner of her mouth, and finally flush on her lips. She accepted the kiss for a moment and then she pushed me back gently.

"There's just one more thing," she said.

"Yeah?"

Without speaking, she wrapped her arms around me and drew me very close. My body went warm. She was hugging me. That's what it was. Just a hug. I smiled and felt my heart swell and she squeezed me even closer against her naked body and hugged me really tight.

"What's this for?" I asked her.

"For everything," she whispered into my ear. "For giving me so many chances. I've put you through so much. So much that I regret. I hurt you. I tried to kill you. I don't deserve any of this. You have every justification in the world to hate me, and yet…"

I kissed her.

I couldn't help it. The love was overflowing out of me and it wasn't enough to just talk anymore. It was time to show. To show her how much I forgave her. How much I wanted her. How much I _needed_ her. I moaned into her mouth, rubbing my body into hers urgently, and then I broke off the kiss and ducked under the covers and smothered my mouth into that area between her legs that made her moan and writhe and arch her back in the dark.

—

**AN: Longest chapter of the story and it's the chapter with the lemon. Typical Dreamless, am I right? Lol. Seriously, though, I hoped you liked the lemon. This isn't a smutty story, but it was important to demonstrate Victoria's restraint. I think it turned out pretty good. It's been a while since I wrote a proper lemon, lol. The other thing I hope you like is Bella's hair. I know some people hate drastic changes to a character like that, but it's really not that drastic. I mean, it's just hair. It could always grow back and she did need a haircut because of the burns. I used to love long hair, but I think short hair can be even sexier sometimes. I think it suits this version of Bella, at least for now. Anyway, hope you liked the chapter. Next one soon. :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: Glad everyone loves Bella's haircut, lol. Although I am a little disappointed at how…disenchanted a lot of you guys are with Alice. Not too disappointed, though, since it at least shows she's still on your mind. So even if I wasn't able to present her as the "healthy and safe alternative" to Victoria (which is what she was supposed to be), she still at least has a strong presence in the story. All these comments about her have given me a ton of new ideas too, so let's not write her off just yet. Till then, however, it's still Vicky's time for a little bit. ;)**

—

Chapter 18:

—

Right from the very next morning, it was like happily ever after. I could feel it as soon as I opened my eyes and found her right there, still there, her head on the same pillow as mine and smiling as she watched me wake. I smiled as well and said:

"Hey."

"Hey," she whispered back, softly, gently, and already reaching under the covers to draw me closer.

It was still early and we spent the first part of the morning just lying in bed and cuddling and chatting about last night while the light in the window turned bright and yellow. Soon we were fondling each other as well, just playfully under the covers. Stroking hips and breasts, a little light kissing. Eventually I turned back the covers so that I could examine her body more closely. It was unearthly and I spent at least ten minutes telling her how beautiful it was while she reclined on the pillow and let me do whatever I wanted. Little cracks of sunlight from the curtains cast a tiger-stripe of twinkles over her nakedness and I gathered her breasts in my hands and kissed them and lifted my mouth to her collarbone and jaw. I kissed her lips and soon things grew so heated that we decided to take it to the shower.

I guess there really was a certain magic to losing your virginity because I felt as light as air that morning and I practically hopped like a bunny out of the bed and pirouetted into the bathroom like a ballerina. Victoria gave me a moment to pee and brush my teeth and then we were bustling into the shower and under the water, already putting our hands all over each other. We washed first and I still couldn't get over how incredibly sexy she was. She was seriously unreal, the shapes of her breasts, the length of her legs, the pearly brilliance of her skin. It made me want to go down on her and that's exactly what I did, kneeling in the shower with my mouth angled up into her entrance and moaning even louder than the water. Afterwards she told me to rise and turn around and then she wrapped her arms around me from behind and kissed my ear and fondled me into a soapy orgasm.

All in all, it was a very good morning.

We hadn't bought any clothes with us into the bathroom and we were only wearing towels when we came out. I jumped on the bed, bouncing on my knees, and looked at her with an eager smile.

"So," I said. "What are we going to do today?"

She had the hairbrush and she was brushing her damp hair. My own hair had only taken a few seconds to brush and it was already dry almost. One of the perks of shortness, I was loving it already.

"I'm not sure," she said, bending to take a glance out the window. "I take it you're not interested in focusing on more serious issues, such as the fact that my former mate will likely be coming for you at some point, or the fact that your fortune teller friend is likely looking for you as well?"

Her towel rode up a little and my eyes flared at her ass. Maybe we could just stay in the motel and have sex all day? She straightened up and turned back to me, still brushing at her hair. I smiled and shook my head at her question.

"No," I said. "I don't want to focus on any of that."

"Perhaps we should."

"Victoria, I just want one day, okay? One day for me and you without any tension or stress. I need it, and…I think you need it too."

I added that last part hesitantly. She lowered the hairbrush and sighed, not accustomed to indulging weakness or frivolity. I shuffled closer to the edge of the bed, sitting up on my knees and taking her hand to draw her closer to me.

"You've been living in darkness for a long time Victoria," I told her. "You need to learn how to have fun again."

She breathed out but she didn't object. "Fine."

I smiled and raised up to give her a kiss. "Great," I said. "Let's go see a movie. There's got to be some kind of theatre in this little town, right?"

Then I sprang off the bed and hurried to organize some clothes.

She sighed and already wore the look of a defeated boyfriend.

After we got changed, we left the motel room on foot, no car. Neither of us knew where we could find a theatre and neither of us were in much hurry. All we really wanted to do was spend time with each other. Hang out. The thought made me grin. How long had I been fantasizing about this? Strolling down the street with Victoria and chatting about nothing more sinister than the weather. No hand choking my throat, no threats being hissed back and forth. It was almost funny. I had always pictured this moment as just friends, but after last night, I think our relationship rated quite a bit higher than that. Girlfriends? Hmm, no, too tame. Partners? Nah, not quite. Lovers? Hmm. Yeah, I could dig that. Or what about…

…mates?

The thought gave me a weird flutter. I glanced at her in the pale sunlight. There wasn't enough sun to make her face sparkle but her skin did shimmer with a slight sheen of luminesce. I thought about everything we'd been through together and all the emotional extremes that we had shared and most importantly last night where the true extent of our feelings had blossomed forth into a physical passion where the agony of her hunger had at last been quenched in the overwhelmingness of her love, and I smiled and thought: yeah. Yeah, maybe mates.

It was a Friday morning and as we passed the bank I almost laughed. A small section was cordoned off with police tape and two of the ATM machines had been uprooted out of the concrete and lay there with their steelplates ripped open, perhaps at the hand of a supernatural being with red hair. I smiled at her and shook my head in disapproval, but it was a victimless crime, and we continued on.

We found the town's only theatre at the mall. Neither of us had any idea what was playing so we browsed the movie posters for a while. Victoria scoffed at everything, as if the art of film itself was below her, and she had a particular distain for comedy and romance. I wasn't much in the mood for romance either, since all it would do is remind me of the unconventional-ness of my own relationship, so I decided to indulge her with a horror movie. We had a short wait before the movie and she bought me some popcorn and a soda before counting how much money she had left and giving me half. Another very considerate gesture. What a darling.

The movie itself wasn't so great. The villain was a female vampire, but she was blonde, and nowhere near as sexy as Victoria. I had my own female vampire right beside me, and she put her arm around me and cuddled me in the dark and made out with me during the boring bits. We were the only two people in the entire theatre but our makeout sessions would always get interrupted by a scream from onscreen and a gory murder scene that would make us giggle and wonder what was happening and who was getting killed because we had basically missed half the movie.

Eventually it was over and we wandered back out into the street. I sighed and stretched in the fresh air.

"Cool movie, huh?"

She shrugged, looking up and down the street. "It was alright," she said. "Although I thought it was stupid how she tore out that other girl's heart and ate it. No one actually does that."

I cringed and glanced at her. It's always a disconcerting feeling to know your girlfriend has enough experience with eating human hearts that she can comment on its realism. Instead I changed the subject.

"How much cash to we have?" I asked.

"As much as I gave you and a little more," she said. "Why?"

I fished the money out of my pocket and flipped through it. It was quite a lot. "Let's go shopping," I said. "I think I saw a flea market on the way over here."

Then I turned and gestured with my head for her to come with.

The flea market I spotted earlier was in the town square, outside the courthouse that had a large clock tower. There were lots of different stalls and one of them in particular caught my eye. They sold a bunch of cheap Halloween costumes and they had a folding table that was spread with accessories, hats and fake teeth and hairbands with horns on them and little fairy wings. One of the costumes was called the Sexy Swashbuckler. It was a female pirate outfit and there was one component of it that was absolutely perfect for Victoria.

A red eyepatch in the shape of a loveheart.

"Oh my god," I said, grabbing the eyepatch to show her. "This would be so perfect on you."

She snorted. "I'm not wearing that."

But I was already paying for it and then I turned to her with an expectant smile. "Come on, it'll look so awesome on you."

She exhaled through her nose, her resistance failing. I brightened my smile and tilted my head.

"Please?" I asked her sweetly.

She grunted and snatched it out of my hand. I giggled and watched but my smile dimmed as she took off her old black eyepatch and revealed the gaping red hole underneath.

"Is that eye ever going to come back?" I asked hesitantly.

"No," she said, adjusting the loveheart over the top of it. For the first time, I realized it was a pretty sad metaphor. I was the one who did that to her and now I was asking her to wear a loveheart over it. It made me feel bad and I kind of regreted drawing attention to it.

"I'm sorry," I said. "But you can't expect me to apologize."

She smirked. "You just did."

I chuckled to myself. I guess that was true and I was glad she wasn't angry or holding a grudge about it. We were both very different back then, and I had only been defending myself. She smiled, still adjusting the eyepatch.

"Vampires can't actually regenerate things like eyes or limbs," she said. "The most we can do is reattach them. But since my eye was burnt to ash…"

She shrugged as if it wasn't much of a big deal to her. I listened to her and had an idea.

"Well, could you maybe use someone else's eye?" I suggested. "Like a transplant?"

That hadn't seemed to have occurred to her but she nodded thoughtfully at it. "Perhaps," she said. Then she smiled and gave the patch a final adjustment. "How does it look?"

I smiled. It was red and studded with red sequins that twinkled in the sunlight and together with her red hair and swaggering attitude it suited her just as perfect as I thought it would.

"Sexy as fuck," I said, and then I gave her a quick kiss on her lips.

The kiss drew some glances from the small town citizenry and I giggled as I became aware. Victoria glared at the spectators with her one eye and her lovely eyepatch and I took her hand boldly and proceeded to hold it as we continued strolling the market.

It was the first time we had held hands that day, or any day, but she didn't object. She didn't even look uncomfortable. We strolled hand in hand among the stalls and tables, just browsing or pausing to examine things. Our clasped hands drew more than a few glances and together with my short hair I bet I looked like quite the young lesbian. It didn't bother me, though. I was even kind of proud of this new image I was developing, even though I still hadn't actually sorted out any of those labels in my head yet. It hadn't seemed important compared to fighting for my life and trying not to get killed every other day. Even now, it still didn't seem overly important. My feelings for Victoria went far beyond orientation and all that really mattered was to just hold her hand and enjoy it and be happy that we were together.

I glanced at her and sighed. It really was incredible how far we had come and for the first time in a long time I actually felt confident about the future. There were still many problems ahead, many dangers, but with Victoria and I together at last, there seemed to finally be a real reason to fight. I squeezed her hand and giggled from how happy I was.

"This is nice," I said. "Don't you think?"

"What?"

"Hanging out. Spending time together."

"Oh," she said. "I suppose."

I smiled and rolled my eyes at her rather limp enthusiasm. She was looking around at all these merchants and shoppers we were surrounded by and I guess she would always have a certain distain for humans in general.

"It's not really comfortable for you, is it?" I asked, only slightly disappointed.

But even though she didn't like being around people, she did like being with me, and she flashed me a quick smile to set me at ease. "It's fine."

I smiled as well and decided that tonight was going to be just for us alone. In fact…

The next stall we passed sold dresses.

Dresses. Date wear. I grinned and the first thing I noticed was a large sign that said 75% off. We had all the money we needed, but who doesn't get wet for a bargain? The only thing better than saving money on clothes is saving money on shoes. So I took my anti-social girlfriend over and began flipping through a rack of sexy—and affordable—cocktail dresses. Dimly it occurred to me that I had always hated clothes shopping but I was actually getting a bit of a rush here.

"Wow, these are really cheap," I was saying. "Oh my god."

I pulled out one of the dresses.

It was red.

Red and short and—

"This would look perfect on you," I said, holding it against her.

She tried to keep her composure but against such a dress it was useless. Her eye flashed in excitement and she smoothed the dress against her torso.

I grinned at her. "You like it, don't you?"

"A little," she admitted.

She had taken the hanger out of my hand and I turned back to the rack to find one for myself. It didn't take long. It was the only black one they had and I took it from the rack and looked at it with a nod and feeling of rightness in my chest.

Yes.

It was perfect.

I turned back to Victoria, still grinning. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"My thoughts are still rather dark, so I sincerely doubt it."

"Date night!" I told her excitably. "Tonight. What do you say?"

She sighed and looked at the dresses. "Well…"

"They're seventy five percent off," I reminded her.

She smirked at that, the temptation slowly overpowering her, and finally she nodded.

I giggled and snatched the dress from her. "We'll have to get some makeup as well."

"And some underwear," she added with a smirk, and I felt a flash of horniness that made me want to ravish her right there.

But instead I turned to the vendor and paid for the dresses.

We had a goal now and we began to move through the market at a quicker pace to gather the things we needed. Makeup. Shoes. Some earrings that were fake but very pretty. I couldn't wait to wear them with my new haircut. Not to mention my dress. I was going to look so fucking sexy. It would be my first real date, now that I thought about it. Edward and I had never done anything like this and I never had a chance with Alice. Or rather Alice had never given me a chance. Instead she was only concerned with Jasper, the man who would eventually betray me and hand me over to…well, the woman that I was currently on a date with. Still, though. How could Alice be so easily fooled by him? I could tell that her feelings for me were stronger than her feelings for him, and yet…

But I shook my head and forced all that away.

Today was about me and Victoria.

It was late afternoon by the time we got back to the motel with our purchases. After doing nothing but watch TV for a week, it had been great to go out and stretch my legs. We spread the dresses on the bed and tipped out the tiny pink bag of underwear we had picked up from the department store. We had a bit of time to relax before our date and we went through a phonebook to look for restaurants. Life was so much harder without the internet or an iPhone. I had asked Victoria if she would prefer to just have dinner alone in the motel room, but now that she had a dress to show off, she wasn't quite so reluctant to be in public. Besides, a restaurant was much different from a flea market.

We made reservations and it took us over an hour to get ready. We showered together, letting the anticipation build by keeping our hands off each other—well, mostly—and then we went out into the room and put on our special underwear. Lace panties. Red for her, black for me. We grinned at each other hungrily as we got dressed but we managed to restrain ourselves. Given how hard it was for me, I could only imagine how difficult it must've been for her, considering her lust for my blood hadn't just evaporated overnight. At most she had only gained the confidence of knowing she was able to resist it. We then put on our dresses and shoes before going into the bathroom to do our makeup.

Victoria didn't require much, she was so naturally exquisite, and I didn't need so much either. A bit of mascara, a bit of blush. I was grinning at my reflection and I absolutely loved how my little zircon earrings were so visible and jiggly without my long hair. I did my lipstick last, watching Victoria in the mirror as she donned a few cheap bracelets she'd bought, and then I smiled and capped the lipstick. She saw me and smiled as well. Then she wrapped her arms around me from behind and we looked at each other in the mirror, cheek to cheek, her hair long and red, mine short and black, both of us young and beautiful and exotic with her sexy red eyepatch and my earrings dangling from my naked ears. She kissed my cheek and asked if I was ready. I told her I was.

The restaurant was a quaint little country place that was built into the base of an actual windmill. The windmill was gigantic and as I walked up I could see it turning in the sky against the blackness and the stars.

It was warm inside and there was a rich smell of food. We had reservations, but the place was mostly empty, which suited us perfectly. There was no hostess and it was a waiter who showed us to our table. Victoria ordered a bottle of wine and maybe my short hair made me look a little older because nobody asked for ID. The wine came and I sipped some as we looked over our menus. The menus were only one page and it was all very simple country cooking. There was a live band that played classical music on a stage and the dancefloor was completely vacant and somehow more charming for the emptiness.

We ordered steaks for both of us, even though vampires didn't eat, and we made various small talk as I ate. The tablecloth was white and there was a lit candle between us that gave her face a soft orange glow. She watched with a smile as I ate with some enthusiasm—the first real meal I had in over a week—and after a while she spoke.

"Thank you for this," she said.

I looked up, chewing. "For what?"

"Forcing me to have fun."

I chuckled and finished my bite. "Don't mention it."

I smiled and cut away another small section of steak, dabbing it into the gravy. She watched me and then she glanced out over the half-empty restaurant, the dancefloor, the band, the potted plants. "You were right when you said it doesn't come naturally to me," she said. "Fun, I mean. I never realized till now. My idea of fun is more like a cat's."

"You like playing with twine?"

"No. I like torturing mice."

I almost spat my wine, cringing as I set the glass back down. "Well, it's important to broaden your interests," I said. "How about dancing? Do you like to dance?"

She glanced at the empty dancefloor. "No."

"Me either," I said. "I hate it."

Yet even as I said it, I felt the strange desire well up from my stomach. It was like when we were shopping. I had always hated shopping, but because Victoria was there, I loved it. Now I was looking at the polished oak dancefloor of this small little restaurant and what I wanted more than anything was to go out there with Victoria and hold her hand and sway in my high heels and…

I burst into giggles and shook my head.

"What so funny?" she asked with a smile.

"I don't know," I said. "It's just weird how you can hate something your whole life until you meet that one person who actually makes you want to do it. You know?"

"I think so."

"You do?"

She nodded and looked at the dancefloor. Then she smiled at me.

"Finish eating," she said. "Then we'll dance."

I nodded and started scoffing my potatoes.

Victoria and I were the only couple who went onto the floor the entire night and yet we didn't seem so outlandish. We sallied forth with our hands clasped and at first there was some confusion over who was going to lead. We both reached for each other's waists at first but then Victoria conceded and placed her hand on my shoulder. We were even height, neither taller than the other, and it felt surprisingly natural to lead. Some people were watching from their tables but we took no notice, absorbed solely in each other, moving gently in our heels, side to side, gazing into each other's eyes. That eyepatch was so fucking sexy on her. She smiled and caressed my shoulder. It was amazing how much she had changed overnight. I'd heard of girls loosening up after sex, but this seemed to be something else. I had been whittling away at her walls for a long time without even knowing it and last night seemed to have destroyed them completely.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked as we danced.

"Sure."

"Did you ever do things like this with James?"

I'm not sure where the question came from. Just idle curiosity. She went a little guarded, but that was only her nature.

"What do you mean?"

I gave a little shrug. "I just can't really picture the two of you as a couple. It seems weird. I can't imagine what you'd do together or what you'd even talk about."

She seemed to realize what I was getting at and she sighed. "Maybe we weren't a couple," she said. "Maybe we were just partners."

I nodded. She was looking away pensively. I could feel her waist under the thin material of her dress, so cool and slim. I wondered what her expression meant and I decided to just ask.

"Do you miss him?"

Her eye came back to me and she smiled and shook her head. "No," she said. "Not at all. In many ways, it still feels like he's dead. It's strange when I think back on how he used to treat me. And how I never questioned it. After he died, I was so enraged, and yet…sometimes I wonder if I ever truly loved him at all."

"I know how you feel."

She smirked. "The fortune teller?"

My eyes snapped to hers at the mention of Alice. Although I was here with her, I didn't want her to say anything bad about Alice. "No," I said. "Edward."

"And the fortune teller? How do you feel about her?"

The way she asked was like she was gloating, and I didn't really like that. But this was her relationship too and I owed her honesty about my feelings. So I thought about it and…

…and I wasn't sure.

"I don't know," I said. "She was my best friend. I wasn't even aware that I was in love with her until after she was gone. She was all I ever thought about. I loved her more than anything."

Her eye darkened slightly and I realized I wasn't saying this properly.

"But I guess that was only when she was gone," I added. "It's weird. As soon as I had her back, everything was different. I guess maybe I loved the idea of her more than the actual reality."

She nodded at that, watching me closely as if to see if I was telling the truth. I wasn't sure if I had and I forced myself to smile and I looked away under the scrutiny and deep inside there was a painful twist of loneliness as I realized that…

"You look very sexy with that hair," Victoria said.

I looked up at her. She smiled and cupped my cheek.

"I've been meaning to tell you that," she whispered.

It was the first time she had directly complimented my haircut and it was more than enough to cause a throb in my heart and between my legs and to snap me back into the reality of how Victoria was all I ever wanted. I stopped dancing and said:

"Pay the check."

She smirked and led me off the floor.

Within the hour we were back at the motel, kicking off our shoes and stumbling onto the bed with our mouths locked as we fought to wrap our legs around each other. We madeout for a long time, moaning, before we finally forced ourselves to calm down and light the candles we had bought. It was more romantic that way. Soon the lights were off and the room was filled in a warm orange glow. I was lighting the last candle and I blew out the match with a flourish.

"I'm not sure I should trust you with fire," Victoria murmured, wrapping her arms around me from behind.

I smiled and spoke over my shoulder. "I'm not sure if I should trust you with my panties off."

Her hands went up my dress and she yanked them down in a delicious shiver of excitement.

"Too late," she whispered, and then she sank to her knees sexily as I turned around to face her.

Instantly she was lifting my dress and angling a cold kiss into the fork of my legs. I moaned at the contact of her lips and looked down at her with my panties around my knees, already beginning to breathe heavy. I stroked her flaming red hair, more orange than the candleflames, and both her eye and her eyepatch seemed to smile up at me as she teased my pussy with her tongue.

Soon we were back on the bed with our dresses off, me naked, her still in her panties. The anticipation had been building all day and my chest was fluttering so hard at each kiss, each caress, that it felt like my heart was going to fail. Our hunger was just as strong it had been last night, but we had more control this time, and we were both willing to slow down and make it last. We made out for almost half an hour with periodic conversation between kisses about how much we wanted one another. I was stroking her hip and then I was toying with the waistband of her panties and eventually I became so fascinated by them that I went to examine them at close range, face to face with that sexy red lace as I kissed the insides of her thighs all around them and licked around the edges of that rough red material.

It was driving her crazy, but again, we didn't rush. She told me to put my panties back on so that she could see me in them too and I obliged her, hopping off the bed and fetching them off the floor. I stepped into them gingerly as she coiled onto her side to watch with her one eye and I turned to her and adjusted the waistband and twirled around so that she got a full view. She moaned at the sight, as if laying eyes on a delicious meal, and I crawled back into the bed to suck on one of her nipples. She told me I was a good girl and I sucked on the other one as well while she caressed her fingers through the shortness of my hair.

Eventually she grew impatient and threw me onto my back and scissored her legs between mine to rub our pussies together. We kept our panties on for the friction and the material was soon soaked. By now I was positively heaving with lust and she was becoming very aggressive. Her pubic bone was hard as marble and it was grinding me into the mattress, almost painfully. Her breath became ragged and then finally she tore my panties away and dove at my pussy with her mouth. I groaned at the ceiling and wrapped my legs around her head and orgasmed with my eyes rolling about my skull until I almost passed out. But I didn't and it only took a minute to flutter back to life and remove her own sticky panties and lick her delicious entrance until she all but crushed my head between her thighs.

Afterwards we lay there panting.

Then I crawled on top of her and did it all over again.

We had sex for hours that night and it was almost 3AM when I finally took a shower. I was exhausted, but far too excited to sleep, and Victoria had agreed to run out and get us a bottle of champagne. She was back by the time I got out the shower and I didn't bother putting any clothes on. The room was warm from all the candles and several had burnt out, dimming the room even further. Victoria was completely naked as well and I gave her a weird look as I sat in the middle of the bed and covered my lap with a pillow.

"You didn't go out like that, did you?" I asked.

She smirked and popped the cork. "I was very discreet."

I shook my head at the idea of her breaking into a liquor store wearing nothing but an eyepatch just to get me a bottle of champagne. We didn't have any glasses so she handed me the whole bottle.

"Thanks," I said.

She nodded and watched me sip. The bubbles tickled my tongue and the way she was looking at me made me giggle.

"What?" I asked.

Her smile went pensive and then she climbed into the bed and came around behind me to wrap her arms around my middle and whisper into my ear.

"I've been thinking," she said.

"About what?"

"England."

"England?"

I felt her nod, her cheek rubbing against the side of my head. "If the two of us wanted a fresh start, all it would take is a couple of passports," she said. "That's all. No one would ever be able to track us there. All we'd have to do is leave."

I smiled and turned slightly to look at her. "And then what?"

She gave a shrug of her bare shoulder. "Who knows? You could finish school. Go to college. Perhaps I would as well. It's been a while since I've re-educated myself."

"Would you turn me into a vampire?" I asked.

"Well," she said, chuckling. "Not right away."

"Why not? Because it's a big decision and I'm not wise enough to make it for myself?"

"Hardly."

"Then why?"

"Because as a newborn you would be stronger than me. I wouldn't be able to trust you. But in time, after we've been together a while…"

I smiled and lifted the bottle for another sip. I felt like I should be a little more pouty about that, but I couldn't be. At least her excuse was perfectly valid.

"And then what would we do?" I asked, continuing her little scenario. "Would we move in together? Make babies?"

She gave another slight shrug of her naked shoulder and smile. "We could do anything," she said. "Whatever we wanted. It would be a completely fresh start."

I smiled at her. It really did sound nice.

"So what do you think?" she asked.

My smile dimmed a little as I realized she actually wanted me to answer.

"I can't leave my dad," I said quietly.

Victoria looked down, but she didn't really seem surprised. My smile dimmed even further and it was gone entirely when I added:

"I can't leave Alice, either."

She looked up, a flash of anger in her yellow eye. I faced it bravely.

"I'm sorry," I said. "But I can't leave her alone with Jasper. Not after what happened. She's my best friend and I'm the only one who can save her from him. I have to do something. I'm not sure what yet, but I have to."

She listened to all that and she nodded, her anger fading away. I still felt a little bad, though, because her escape plan had been really beautiful and it must've been hard for her to admit she wanted that.

"Are you mad?" I asked.

The corner of her mouth lifted into a smirk. "No," she said. "On the contrary, I know exactly what you should do."

"What?"

"Kill him."

Now I smirked as well. "Really?"

"Of course," she said. "He betrayed you. And even though that betrayal benefited me greatly, that was not his intent. He deserves to die."

"Will you help me?" I asked excitably, so glad to have her on my side.

"Of course I will," she said, leaning to my mouth with a smile. "Sounds like more fun than college and playing house, anyway. I doubt you'll be quite the hunter James was, but…"

She went to kiss me and I recoiled sharply.

"James has to die too," I said.

She looked at me. I looked back firmly.

"He's never going to stop looking for me."

"But he did let you go," she said tentatively. "He did that for me. He was angry and betrayed at the river, but it's possible he'll come to his senses and leave us alone."

"You don't honestly believe that, do you?" I asked, almost in disgust. "He killed my mother, Victoria."

Her eye lowered for a moment. Then it lifted and she gave me a nod and a smile. "You're right," she said. Then she took the bottle out of my lap and slid off the bed. "But that's enough of that," she went on. "It was your idea to have a night all to ourselves and the night is still young. After you sleep, I must go out and hunt, so let's not waste any more of it."

She set the bottle on the nightstand and turned back to me with her bare breasts and a smile. I still felt a glimmer of misgiving at how she had mentioned James, so casually, almost fondly, but I smiled as she climbed back into the bed and crawled toward my mouth.

—

_In the morning it was Alice in the bed with me. She was smiling at me as my eyes fluttered open and the sight of her pretty face on the pillow beside me filled me with surprise, delight, and all those old feelings of warmth and love. I blinked at her happily and my voice came out very softly._

"_Hey," I said._

"_Hey," she replied._

_It was bright in the room and there was lots of sun but her face wasn't sparkling and there was something sad about her smile._

"_Are you okay?" I asked in concern._

"_Yeah," she whispered. "Are you?"_

"_I think so."_

"_Did it hurt?"_

"_Did what hurt?"_

"_When she killed you."_

_I didn't know what she meant but then I looked down and realized my head was decapitated on the pillow and my dead body was laying in pieces on the sheets in pools of bright red blood. Victoria was standing at the foot of the bed and she was seething in anger and her eye was red and there was blood all over her face and blood all over her body and—_

I gasped and woke.

I was covered in sweat and the room was pitch black, all the candles expired. I scrabbled out of the bed, unaccountably terrified that Victoria might've been in there with me, and fumbled to turn on the bedside lamp. The room brightened and I heaved a sigh of relief.

No Victoria.

No…

Wait. It was just a nightmare. What the fuck was I thinking? Victoria would never do anything like that. Jesus, get a grip, Bella. I breathed in deeply and let it out again, looking at the empty bed. Victoria must still be out hunting. Which was a shame, because I could really use a bit of comfort right now. Jeez, what a fucked up dream. I had never had a nightmare that intense in all my life. It felt so real. It felt like Alice was right there in the bed with me and Victoria…

I shook my head and grabbed the sheet off the bed to dry myself. My body was covered in sweat and I was freezing. Freezing and exhausted. My head was pounding and eventually I just sat down on the edge of the bed and wrapped the sheet around my body clumsily. I put a hand in my hair and closed my eyes. What a dream. I could still feel the terror in my chest, clawing at me, not wanting to go away. But why was I still afraid? Why did the dream feel so ominous? It felt almost like one of Alice's visions. Like a glimpse of things to come. A premonition. It was stupid, but that's how it felt.

I opened my eyes.

The first thing I saw was the cellphone on the nightstand.

Suddenly I realized that I had let far too much time pass without calling Alice. I should've called her ages ago, that very first morning I woke up in this place. It would've been the right thing to do, to at least let her know that I was okay. But instead I had waited over a week. What kind of a shitty friend was I? Waves of shame washed over me and something even worse as well. Because that dream had given me a really bad feeling and maybe now it was me who needed to know everything was okay.

So I grabbed the phone and went into the bathroom, just in case Victoria came back. I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. I wasn't calling Alice to come get me, I was just calling to let her know I was alright and make sure she was alright too. I knew her number by memory and I quickly punched it in with my thumb, standing there under the florescent bulb in the bathroom, cinching the sheet around my body with my other hand. I put the phone to my ear, waiting, my heart constricting with worry. What if she didn't pick up? What if—

The phone answered and Alice's voice came over very softly.

"Bella?"

I smiled and almost chuckled in relief. "How did you know it was me?"

But then my smile dimmed as her voice continued in that same strange tone, soft and weak. "I had a vision," she whispered. "I didn't know if it was real… I thought maybe I was seeing things… It was… I didn't… Are you alive?"

I held the phone anxiously. Am I alive? I was talking to her on the phone. What was happening here? There was something really wrong with her voice. It was limp and empty. Dazed. As if she were exhausted or sick. Or dying. I heard it with hollowness in my heart and my own voice came out fragile with fear.

"Alice," I said. "What's wrong?"

—

**AN: Did anybody miss cliffhangers? Lol. This chapter was mostly "filler" but it had a lot of little subtle developments too. Victoria's new eyepatch, for instance, is kind of similar to Bella's haircut, a little visual change to reflect her inner change. Anime fans might've noticed how I referred to it once as the "lovely eyepatch." That's where I got the idea from, Jubei-chan. That wasn't the only reference in this chapter, either. The dream at the end was similar to a dream from that TV show "Arrow." Not sure if anyone noticed. It's not a big deal, I just thought it was pretty cool. Speaking of the dream, I thought it was a good way to get the ball rolling again and shake Bella out of her complacency. She's had her holiday, it's time to get back to work. Also, this was the first chapter were I used the word lesbian. I had planned to avoid any kind of direct orientation exposition, but the moment felt right, and it was only one paragraph. I think it was nice. And smut, lol. There was a bit of smut. I don't plan to go overboard with it, but I couldn't resist while they were still on their little honeymoon. Anyway, that's enough chitchat. Next chapter soon. :)**


	19. Chapter 19

—

Chapter 19:

—

I stood there with the phone in the bathroom, clutching the sheet around my body, waiting for her to speak. "Alice?"

"We got caught," said her voice. "By the wolves."

"Wolves? What do you mean?"

"At the lake," she whispered. "James and Victoria weren't here, but the wolves were. It was…bad luck. We tried to fight, but there were too many of them. I couldn't see them in my visions…"

I stuck a knuckle between my teeth to keep from crying. Then I inhaled sharply and forced the tears away.

"What happened?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

A soft sigh came out of her. "It's hard to remember right now," she said. "We fought. We ran. I found a cave nearby and I drew the wolves away so that Emmett and Rosalie could escape. I'm still here now. In the cave. The wolves are outside. Can you hear them?"

Slowly I became aware of wolf calls over the phone, dim and in the distance, and now a few tears did fall. The thought of Alice trapped in a cave somewhere in the dark while those wolves howled for her life in the night outside was almost more than I could bare.

"Yes," I said, keeping the tears out of my voice. "I hear them."

"They howl at night to try and scare me," she continued, dazed, dreamily, too listless to even be afraid. "I was going to try and fight, but I thought maybe someone would come save me if I waited. Emmett and Rosalie. Or Jasper. Or Carlisle and Esme. I don't know why they're leaving me here. Maybe they tried and the wolves got them… I hope not…"

"Alice, what's wrong with you? Why is your voice like that?"

"I'm so tired… I haven't fed in so long…"

"Oh god," I almost whimpered. "You're starving to death?"

"Yeah…"

I wiped my eyes with my knuckles, keeping the sheet cinched under my arm. She was dying. Alice was dying. Already I was filled with determination to do something, anything, but what? What could I possibly—?

Without thinking, I hurried back into the motel room with the phone still at my ear and started getting dressed.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," her voice was saying softly into the phone. "This was all my fault. It was my plan. I failed. I don't know what went wrong. I never saw anything. The wolves… I can't… Where are you? Are you with Jasper?"

"No," I said, shoving my legs into my jeans. "I'm with Victoria."

"Oh. I saw you two in a motel room… I thought it was…a nightmare… Did she hurt you?"

"No."

"I didn't think so… It didn't look like she was hurting you…"

I paused and squeezed my eyes shut at the utter shame that was engulfing me. Alice had seen me having sex with Victoria. While she was alone and dying in a cave somewhere, she had seen me and Victoria having sex and having dinner and shopping together and—

"Alice, where are you?" I asked, forcing the shame away. "Can you tell me exactly where you are?"

I resumed getting dressed, throwing on a top and sitting on the edge of the bed to push my feet into my boots with one hand. She ignored my question and her voice came back dreamy with curiosity.

"But how did you end up with Victoria? Jasper was supposed to take you back to Alaska. Did something happen? Is he alright?"

I paused again and sat pinching the bridge of my nose. "You haven't talked to him?"

"No," she whispered. "I had my phone off to conserve the battery. I only turned it on when I had the vision that you would call. It was only a couple minutes ago. I didn't know if it was real… I was hoping you would…"

"It's real, Alice."

"Is Jasper with you?"

I let go of my nose and looked across the room in anguish. The only light was the streetlamps outside that leaked through the curtains. What could I possibly tell her? That Jasper betrayed me to die? Was I supposed to tell her that now, while she may be dying? She had kept her phone off this whole time simply so there would be battery left to speak to me if I called, and this was what I was supposed to tell her? That the man she loved for decades, the man for whom she had sacrificed her feelings for me, the man she called her mate—was a lying psychopath?

No.

I couldn't tell her that.

So instead I hopped to my feet in my boots and fastened the button of my jeans while holding the phone at my ear with my shoulder. "No," I said. "He's not here. We got…ambushed on the way back to Alaska. Jasper got away and I…I managed to survive."

"Oh," she said in that same soft voice. "But where is he?"

"I don't know, maybe he went back to Alaska? He's probably trying to figure out how to save you."

"No… It's too late… Too many wolves…"

"Alice, stay strong, alright? If Jasper doesn't come for you, I will."

"No… It's too dangerous…"

I clenched my jaw, stuffing my pockets with money off the table. "Alice, don't even start, okay? I'm not as frail as you think I am. The last time I came face to face with James I almost killed him with gasoline."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I completely kicked his ass. He only barely got away."

That was somewhat of an exaggeration, but Alice seemed to believe me, and a weak giggle came over the phone, soft and empty, only a pale glimmer of her usual brightness. "Oh, Bella," she said. "You really don't need me at all, do you?"

I stopped again to clench my eyes shut against sudden tears.

_Don't say things like that, Alice. I love you. Don't tell me I don't need you._

I sniffed and opened my eyes just in time to see headlights wash up against the window that looked out into the parking lot.

"Alice, where are you?" I asked her, pulling back the curtains to look. "Tell me where you are."

"I don't know. It's a cave. Near the lake. The wolves are outside…"

I could hear them baying on the phone, like blood thirsty monsters. It was Victoria who had pulled up in the parking lot and I quickly hurried out of the motel room before Victoria had even gotten out of the car.

"Alice, tell me where you are," I repeated more firmly. "Does your phone have GPS? Give me the coordinates."

"…but at least they're letting me die in peace," she murmured, completing her earlier sentence about the wolves.

"Alice," I said urgently into phone. "Alice!"

Victoria heard most of this and she said nothing as I got into the car. She got in behind the wheel and started it up again, reversing out of the parking space before fishtailing out into the road in a quiet screech of tires. She glanced at me, frowning in confusion or suspicion or maybe just annoyance, and I covered the mouth piece of the phone to talk to her.

"We have to get back to Forks," she said. "Right now."

She nodded, somewhat grudgingly as if all this was very off-putting, and took the next road north. I turned back to the phone.

"Alice? Are you there?"

"I'm not sure…"

"Look, just stay on the phone with me, okay? Don't close your eyes."

She sighed softly as if closing her eyes was exactly what she just did. "I'm sorry, Bella," she whispered. "I let you down so much."

Again I had to fight back tears. "You didn't let me down, Alice," I told her, and whether or not it was true, I believed it with all my heart. "You didn't let me down at all. Just tell me where you are, okay? Victoria and I are on our way right now."

"You love her, don't you?" asked Alice's soft voice, calm, empty, divested of any vanity.

I looked at Victoria, my eyes full of tears. She was sitting there behind the wheel and she would've heard every word on the phone. Streetlights washed over her pale face, her flaming red hair, and she glanced at me with her single eye for the answer. But this wasn't the time and I ignored the question.

"Tell me where you are, Alice," I said into the phone. "Just look at your phone and tell me the coordinates."

"I can't see. It's blurry."

"Alice…"

"I have to go, Bella."

"No, Alice. Just…just stay on the line, okay? Talk to me, just keep talking to me."

"I can't. The battery…"

"Alice, please."

"I'm sorry, Bella. If you see Jasper, tell him I love him, okay? He was the only one… who never hurt me…"

I burst into tears right there in the car. No. No. This was so unfair. He _did_ hurt her. He betrayed her. He betrayed her even worse than he betrayed me. He conspired to kill her bestfriend and the woman she loved. And now she was going to die with him in her heart as the only one who loved her? The only one who never hurt her?

"Goodbye, Bella," came her soft and whispery voice. "I hope you're happy with Victoria. I really do…"

The phone cut out and I felt a spasm of panic.

"Alice?!" I cried. "_Alice?!_"

But the connection was gone. I looked down at the phone and snapped it shut again, struggling to get myself under control. Victoria hadn't taken her eyes from the windshield and she avoided looking at me at all, as if I was having a moment of embarrassment and it would be improper to watch.

I sniffed and wiped my nose with the sleeve of my coat.

"We have to hurry," I said. "They don't have long."

Victoria continued driving, looking out the windshield. "She sounds basically dead already," she said dryly. "I don't see why we should bother going down there."

I sniffed again and looked at her. "What did you say?"

She glanced at me, and in that glance I saw traces of her former coldness, not for me, but for Alice. I wiped my eyes and blinked them angrily.

"I warned you about this, Victoria," I said. "If you wanna be with me, you're gonna have to be with all of me, and that includes my feelings for Alice. I'm not going to abandon her, okay? She's my bestfriend."

Victoria turned back to the road with her lips pursed, as if to keep herself from saying something she might regret. We had already left town and the road stood before us, long and black. She took in a breath and let it out again.

"I understand," she said.

"Thank you."

"But that doesn't change the fact that it'll take hours to get there and you have no idea where this cave is or if she'll even be alive when you get there."

I turned to the windshield, thinking about that. Vampires could move at almost the speed of light, but I couldn't. Humans were too fragile to even be carried that fast. But if Victoria got there first, and I caught up in the car, maybe—

"You're right," I said, and then I lifted my leg over the gearshift and stomped on the brake.

The car skidded to a halt at the side of the road. Victoria looked pissed.

"What do you think you're doing?"

I leaned over her and opened her door, trying to hustle her out of the car. "I'll drive," I said. "You go on ahead to Forks and see if you can find the cave. Follow the scent of wolves."

Victoria got out of the car, still extremely pissed, and I settled behind the wheel. I went to pull the door closed but she held it open to speak to me.

"You think it's a good idea for you to be alone?"

"I'll be fine, we have to hurry."

Victoria scoffed and shook her head. "This is ridiculous. These people mean nothing to me. They made their mistakes and now they're going to die from them. Why is it any of my problem?"

"Because it's _my_ problem too."

Victoria frowned and looked away. She seemed to understand the logic of that, even if she didn't quite feel it. It made frown as well and I yanked closed the door and spoke through the open window.

"Are you going to help me or not, Victoria? Because if not, you might as well just go back to James."

Then I hit the gas and sped down the highway.

At first she only stood there in the rearview, getting smaller and smaller behind me, and I began to believe that I was making a huge mistake. But what choice did I have? My bestfriend was dying. It was no choice at all. How could Victoria not understand? It made me sad, because it also made me realize that her feelings for me were still nothing but attraction. Hunger. Lust. She had no real emotional attachment to me and no true sympathy for my feelings. All that was supposed to come in time, but would we ever get the chance? Or was this the end right now? Maybe it was too soon in our relationship for this kind of crisis. Too soon to put it to the test. In the end, I guess we had only been together one day. How many couples could possibly learn to love and respect each other in the span of one day? Maybe—

But then a blur of red passed me at my left side and continued down the road toward Forks.

I heaved a sigh and let it out shakily.

_Thank you,_ I whispered to her mentally.

The sun was already beginning to come up beyond the mountains to the east, gray and cold, and I spent the drive in a strange state of anxiety, half of me worried about Alice, half of me worried about Victoria. Alice was in danger, but maybe my relationship with Victoria was as well. So much seemed to have happened since I had woken up from that nightmare and called Alice. Victoria had seemed so angry, but was it me she was angry at? Had I said something wrong? I didn't even know, and as I drove I tried to recall our conversation and analyse every word, but it was hard to be unbiased. I didn't want to believe that I had done damage to our relationship just because I couldn't abandon my bestfriend. Because that's all it was. It wasn't like I was still in love with Alice. Or that I still wanted to be with Alice. It was just…

I shook my head before my eyes could get wet and I flipped open the phone to call Victoria. She answered, but she wasn't particularly cordial. She told me she was at Forks and she had a suspicion where the cave was and that she'd call me back when she knew more. It felt like she got off of the phone quick, but I didn't want to read into that. It was a stressful situation. All we needed to do was deal with it and then everything would be fine. Maybe we could even go to England like she said. Just the two of us. All I had to do was save Alice and warn her about Jasper and maybe promise my father that I would send him some postcards. Then all we had to do was get on a plane, just me and Vicky. Vicky? Hmm. Cute name. I wonder if she would mind if I called her that?

But then I shook all that away and focused on Alice instead. Alice was the one in trouble here. She might even already be dead. I tried to call her, but it only went to voicemail. I listened to her recorded message, telling me that I had reached Alice Cullen and to please leave my message at the beep, but I had no idea what to say and I quickly hung up. I just hoped that wouldn't be the last time I ever heard her voice. She had sounded so weak on the phone. So close to death. She didn't even seem afraid of it. As if it would almost be a relief. I had never known vampires could starve. I guess anything that ate could starve, but you'd never think it could happen to a vampire. They were so strong and swift. But the wolves were strong and swift too, and Alice was vastly outnumbered, and—

That fucking Jasper. All this was his fault. It was him who coordinated with James and Victoria. It was him who let Alice go to that lake even though he knew nobody would be there. He couldn't have known the wolves would show up when they did, but it was his duplicity that put Alice in that situation. If he hadn't schemed with James and Victoria, then—

Victoria. It was Victoria's fault too. Victoria had been the one who stalked me, wanted me, craved me. The one who called my house and told Alice to come to the lake. The one who was working with James and Jasper. If she hadn't had lured Alice to that lake—

Alice. Why the fuck did you go there without me? I told you to take me along. I fucking told you. But no, you were afraid of putting me in danger. Well, now it's you in danger. And I'm the one coming to save you. So hold on, okay? I'll be there soon, and I'm not gonna fail like you and Edward and the rest of your family always did. I'm going to find you, and—

I shook my head fiercely for the final time, sniffing back tears. Outside the car, in the bleak morning sunlight, I passed a sign that said:

Welcome to Forks.

The outskirts of town were already passing outside my windows. A warehouse, some old shops with padlocked doors, a chainlink fence with a dog behind it that barked and struggled against its leash at my car as I went by. I pulled out the phone again and tried to call Alice one more time.

"Hi, you've reached Alice Cullen's voicemail, so if you'd leave your name and number at the beep, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks!"

Beep.

This time I didn't hang up and I spoke into the phone urgently and with desperation in my heart. "Alice, it's me. God, I hope you're alright. I love you, please be okay."

Then I hung up and called Victoria.

She picked up on the second ring.

"Victoria, where are you?" I asked. "Have you found the cave yet?"

I heard her sigh, as if something unpleasant had happened but nothing too devastating. "I found the cave, but there's been a complication," she said. "I'm at your house."

"Oh my god. Is my dad…?"

"You're father's fine. He's at work. It's something else."

"What do you mean?"

"Just get here as quick as you can."

She hung up and I shoved the phone back into my pocket, swinging the car around.

It took me five minutes to navigate back into the old neighbourhood and another two minutes before I pulled up on the curb outside the house. I looked up at it as I got out the car, old house, peeling paint, brooding against the overcast like a place that was haunted. It felt like I hadn't been here in a hundred years and I didn't like the feeling. What could Victoria have been talking about? What kind of complication? She wouldn't have said it like that if Alice was dead, would she? No, she couldn't possibly be so callous.

I went across the lawn and tried the door. It was locked and I didn't have any key. I knocked on the door and it opened a second later. It was Victoria. She didn't look too happy about anything in particular and she closed the door after I hurried in.

"Victoria, what did you mean?" I asked. "What kind of complication?"

She nodded at the staircase. "It's upstairs."

I began to feel nervous. Upstairs? What was upstairs? I looked at the living room. The curtains were closed against the feeble sunlight and the furniture looked like it hadn't been cleaned since the last time I had done it myself, everything coated in dust. I looked at the stairs and back at Victoria. She walked passed me and motioned me to follow.

She kept two steps above me and led me down the corridor. My bedroom door was partly ajar and she pushed it open and went first, almost as if to guard me. I followed her in and I saw why she had insisted on leading the way. Inside my bedroom, standing at my desk with a framed photo of Alice and I from prom in his hands, was none other than Jasper Cullen.

He looked at me as I came in and set the photo down. Victoria stood to my side, arms folded, glaring at him guardedly. My entire body had gone cold but my voice came out strangely calm.

"What's going on?" I asked Victoria.

Victoria replied without taking her eyes off him. "I bumped into him while scouting for the cave," she said. "He insisted on seeing you."

I turned back to Jasper. He was wearing a long black coat and a black cowboy hat that he removed from his head before looking up and offering me a smile.

"Alice is in trouble, Bella," he said. "And it's going to take all three of us to save her."

—

**AN: Even Jasper gets a visual change, lol. Black coat and black hat, very villainous. Aside from that, this was mostly a set-up chapter. I hope it gave some sympathy to Alice, although if previous chapters are any guide, I'm sure it backfired in some way it wasn't meant to and made everyone hate her even more, lol. Personally, I'll always adore my favourite pixie. I actually teared up a little while writing her dialog in this chapter. Poor thing, all alone and dying and misunderstood by callous reviewers. :(**


	20. Chapter 20

—

Chapter 20:

—

Jasper watched me, standing there in my room with his hat at his chest like a man at a funeral. My silence and shock seemed to amuse him. His eyes flittered over my face, as if he hadn't seen me in a long time, and after a moment the corner of his mouth lifted into a smirk.

"Nice haircut," he said.

That was enough to snap me out of the surprise. I glared at him and said: "You honestly think I'm going to accept your help? As soon as we save Alice, I'm going to tell her exactly what you did, and—"

"And what?" he said, cutting me off with an air of innocent curiosity. "What then? You're going to tell her and destroy her one last chance of happiness? Now that you're permanently out of her reach?"

He smirked and glanced at Victoria knowingly. My face drained. How did he know? Was it that obvious? Victoria glared at him and he breathed in softly and turned back to me with that same smirk.

"You wear each other's scent," he said.

I blushed in humiliation. Neither me or Victoria had showered since last night and last night we had—

Well.

It wasn't something you wanted your nemesis to know about.

"Congratulations, by the way," he added, pleasant as a gentleman. "You survived and you found love at the same time. Why, it's almost inspiring."

"Go to hell," I snapped at him.

He smiled at that and set his hat down on the desk. "All in due time, I'm sure," he said. "Until then, however, Alice is still in trouble."

I kept my face in a glare of hatred. He was right. Alice needed help. But how could I possibly trust him? How could I possibly—

"Where exactly have you been, by the way?" he asked with more of that innocent curiosity. "How come it took you this long to show up? Too busy sexually experimenting, or…?"

He let the question trail off and this time I refused to be embarrassed.

"Something like that," I said through gritted teeth. "And while we're on the subject, I see _you_ haven't saved her either."

Jasper spread his arms to demonstrate his helplessness. "I'm only one man."

"Yeah? So where's Emmett and Rosalie? And Carlisle and Esme? How come they're not here to help?"

"I've been in contact with them," he said, "but they're out of the picture. The wolves have this whole area locked down tight. The only reason your…" He glanced at Victoria. "…_friend_, made it here at all was because she approached from the south and the wind was blowing the other way. In fact, if she hadn't bumped into me, she might've already been ambushed and killed by now."

Victoria scoffed. She still had her arms folded and she still looked as put out as ever, as if all this was some horrendous chore that she was only doing because it was vaguely connected to her ability to sleep with me. It made me feel a little bad. Only one day into our relationship and I was already forcing my problems onto her.

"The point remains," Jasper went on, "that if we're going to help Alice, we'll need to work together."

Now it was my turn to scoff. "I don't need your help," I said. "I can reason with the wolves myself."

"And if you can't?"

"I don't care. I'll die before I let you go near Alice again. Your role in her life is over, do you understand? So I suggest you start running now, because no one is going to forgive you when I tell them what you did."

"_When_ you tell them? Meaning that you haven't yet?"

I didn't reply. I just glared at him.

Jasper smirked and looked at me curiously. "And why is that exactly? I would've thought it would be your highest priority as soon as you were able."

"Alice doesn't need to know right now."

"Or could it be you had more important things to do? Like fuck the woman who wanted to kill you while Alice herself is slowly killed?"

I took a step forward and pointed at him furiously. "Don't you dare act like I'm the asshole here," I said. "You're the one who betrayed her, not me."

Victoria grabbed the collar of my jacket gently and pulled me back slowly. I glanced at her, remembering how dangerous Jasper was, and I moved back to the relative safety of her side. Jasper smiled at the exchange.

"I'm not saying anything worse than the truth," he said. "Alice chose you, Bella. And what did you choose? Hm? Tell me what you chose."

I didn't answer. My heart was burning with hatred and humiliation and angst for Alice and all I could do was glare at his cocky face across the small space of my bedroom.

"You chose _her_," he said, tossing his chin at Victoria. "That's who you chose. You betrayed Alice's feelings in favour of the very woman she was protecting you from and you left her to the wolves. Literally."

"Alice had a choice too," I seethed at him. "And she didn't choose me."

Jasper smiled and looked at me benignly. "Alice may have chosen me with her words, but we both know her heart had decided elsewhere. You were the one who quit on her, Bella. Her love for you led her to make mistakes that you were intolerant to forgive and instead you allowed yourself to be seduced by this redheaded whore who even now craves nothing more from you than your bloody demise."

My body had begun to tremble from rage. Tears speckled my eyes. It was nothing like that. He was wrong. About everything.

Victoria hadn't moved this whole time and her face had lost much of its expression. Jasper's words hadn't seemed to have enraged her, but rather filled her with pensiveness, as if some truth had been revealed to her that she wasn't sure about. I couldn't fathom what was running through her mind behind that loveheart eyepatch but I looked at her and caught her eye and whispered very quietly under my breath:

"Can you kill him right now?"

Again, her face didn't change. She looked into my shining eyes for a moment, as if to ascertain if I was serious, and then—

She attacked him.

It happened in a blur. Maybe she had been trying to catch him by surprise, but unfortunately he seemed prepared for it. He caught her as she leapt at him and they grappled, Victoria glaring, Jasper only smiling.

"I thought you'd try," he said.

Then he kicked her in her midsection and sent her skidding backwards to my side. I had flinched at the awful sound of his boot into her stomach, but it hadn't seemed to actually hurt her, and she only glared at him again.

"Bella doesn't trust you and neither do I," she said. "Last chance to run."

Jasper shrugged casually. "I have nothing to run from."

Victoria snorted and leapt at him again.

This time he caught her and swung her to the side. Her whole body swept across my desk, obliterating my computer, my monitor, knocking a cup of pens to the floor, the framed photos, his hat. Jasper shoved her against the wall and pinned her there as she hissed at him like a cat. He smiled and said:

"I'm stronger than you…"

He threw her across the room into the opposite wall. She landed on the bed, bounced, and leapt at him again. He caught the claw of her hand and twisted it around while his other hand grabbed a handful of her hair and put her head through the window in a crash of glass.

"I'm more experienced than you…"

He swung her around again and she lashed out one more time. He swatted her hand away and then he grabbed her chin with one hand and slapped her with the other so hard it sounded like a thunderclap. She stumbled backward, dazed, her cheek under her eyepatch covered in a web of tiny cracks. He smiled again and said:

"And you have a permanent blindspot due to that missing eye of yours."

Victoria touched her cheek, seething at him, and then she shook her head to shake free the shards of glass that were stuck in her hair from when her head went through the window. She might've attacked him again, but I quickly put my arms on her heaving shoulders, terrified at what would happen if they didn't stop. Victoria glanced at me, her eye dark and dilated, and turned the glare back to Jasper. He looked completely untouched and his ponytail didn't even have a strand of hair out of place.

"Now," he said. "I'm going to repeat myself."

He noticed his hat on the floor among the wreckage of my computer and he picked it up and set it on his head and squared it as perhaps he did in the old days.

"Alice is in trouble," he said. "And it's going to take all three of us to save her."

I was still holding Victoria shoulders and we were both glaring at him in pure hatred. He looked at us both, one then the other, and then he smiled at me and said:

"Does your father keep any weapons in the house?"

—

An hour later the three of us were in a clearing in the forest not far from town. It was freezing and the sky above was gray and sunless and my breath plumed white in front of my mouth. I was equipped with a scarf, a coat, and a pump-action shotgun that had been stolen from my father's hunting cabinet. The cabinet had also contained two rifles and Jasper was wearing them both, one over each shoulder. Victoria had no training with weapons and she had opted to stick to just her hands. I had no training with weapons either, but as a decoy and a distraction, I probably wouldn't need any.

Jasper had tracked a deer to the clearing and now he had the poor thing pinned down in the grass as he took its head in his hands and snapped its neck. It was a sickening sound and it made me feel sick in my stomach. The deer was nothing more than a fawn and it had huge dark eyes with visible eyelashes and I watched those eyes go glassy enough to reflect the overcast above as it died.

"That's almost worse than feeding from humans," I said.

Jasper was kneeling in the grass and leaning on the stock of one of the rifles as he examined the deer for any trace of blood. "Alice is going to have to feed right away," he said. "She'll need all her strength to escape. And since you have friends among these wolves, it'll be up to you to bring the deer to her."

I looked at the dead animal. It looked pretty heavy. I didn't even know if I'd be able to carry it.

"What if the wolves confiscate it?" I asked.

Jasper shrugged and rose. "Then let her feed from you."

"Shut up," Victoria hissed at him. "Don't even put that idea in her head."

I glanced at her. "Why not?"

"A starving vampire will not be able to stop," she said. "Friend or not, she'd kill you."

"Which would suit me just fine," Jasper added.

Victoria took a step toward him, as if to resume their battle from my bedroom. But I remembered how horribly one-sided that battle had been and I placed a hand on her shoulder to calm her.

Jasper smiled and ignored her. "Just do whatever you can," he told me. "Alice's life is what's important here, not ours."

I looked again at the animal. Jasper's plan was fairly simple, but how could I trust him? I couldn't, and yet there was no other way. Even if it was possible to save her myself, Jasper wasn't giving me any option but to accept his help. That made me so furious and I glared at him and said:

"Why do you even care about her, Jasper? You're a fucking psychopath. How could you possibly love her after what you did to me?"

"It's because I love her that I did what I did," he said. "And considering how little _you_ turned out to love her, perhaps I made the right call. All you've done is hurt her and all you will continue to do is hurt her."

"And that justifies trying to kill me?"

"It does to me."

"You're insane."

"Actually, I'm very methodical."

"You smug fucking—

"Enough," Victoria snapped, at both of us. "There'll be plenty time for bickering later."

She said that last part with a look at Jasper, as if to promise him a rematch someday—when the odds favoured her. Jasper smiled and then bent and gathered the dead deer out of the grass.

I cringed as he came around behind me and put it on my shoulders. Luckily it was very young and small, heavy but light enough for me to carry. Hopefully it would contain enough blood to revive Alice.

"Walk north," Jasper said. "Follow the trail. You'll know the place when you see it. Remember, a shotgun blast won't kill a wolf unless it's close range and to the head. Anywhere else, it'll only slow them down. Although if you happen to catch them in a diplomatic mood, maybe you won't have to use the shotgun at all. Above all, you must get the deer to Alice."

"And if diplomacy fails?"

"That's where we come in."

I hefted the carcass on my shoulders. It was already wearing me down. I didn't know how far I'd be able to carry it. Victoria looked at me in concern.

"I don't trust these wolves," she said.

I shook my head to set her at ease and I was smiling because the look in her eye was warm with affection and I was so grateful she wasn't mad at me because of all this. "They won't hurt me," I told her. "I'm more worried about you. Be careful, alright?"

She nodded and I looked at her for a moment, feeling a swell of love. She really didn't need to be here helping and yet here she was. For me. No other reason. Even if the feelings between us were mostly just lust and hunger, they were powerful feelings that were going to keep us together no matter what.

"I love you," I whispered.

Her eye flickered to me in surprise. She looked at me for a moment, her mouth twitching into a shy smile. Then the smile grew a little and she gave another nod and said:

"I love you too."

I smiled as well, half bent under the deer carcass. I was glad we had said it. Not only were we heading into danger and might not have another chance, but I felt like we both needed to make some kind of verbal commitment before I came face to face with Alice again.

Jasper, on the other hand, wasn't impressed.

"How touching," he said dryly. "Meanwhile, Alice is dying, so if you wouldn't mind…"

He gestured at the trail I was supposed to follow that led into the trees. I glared at him and hitched up the carcass.

"You're not going to get away with all this Jasper," I said. "I will tell her."

He smiled ambiguously and adjusted the rifles that were slung over his shoulders. "You let me worry about that. Now get going. Alice doesn't have much time left if we aren't too late already."

I glared at him some more and then I turned to look at Victoria. She gave me an encouraging nod and I nodded back and then I started down the trail.

It was hard going with the heavy carcass over my shoulders and already I was straining. But Alice's life was on the line and I didn't even think about stopping or resting. I just marched on, following the faintest trail through a corridor of trees and leaves. The ground was soft underfoot from recent rains and I could smell the moisture in the air. The trees were so closely grown that sometimes leaves would brush against my cheek or ear and I took a slight detour around a tree that was almost entirely cocooned in spiderweb like some gigantic prey. I went on and I hoped Alice would be alive when I got there and that the wolves would let me see her. The Quileutes weren't evil, they were just protecting their land. They would listen to reason. Once I explained what was going on, they would—

A soft growl came from behind me.

I spun around, almost dropping the carcass. I blinked at the trees. Nothing there. No more growl. I stared at the trail where I had come from and then there was a skitter of leaves behind me. I spun back the way I was going, just in time to see a large wolf pass over the trail and disappear again into the trees, stealthily but deliberately letting me see. Letting me know that he was there. I stood there for a minute, my heart racing in fear, but it didn't seem to be anything more than a scare tactic, and after a while I hefted the carcass higher onto my burning shoulders and continued down the trail.

Further on I heard another growl, but this time I didn't stop. I didn't even look back. My back was beginning to get very sore and I was afraid that if I stopped I might not be able to keep going. So I marched on, looking at the ground. The growls became louder, from both sides, and I realized more than one wolf was following me. I glanced to my left and I saw at least two of them, skittering from tree to tree, loping, sidling, noses low to the ground and glaring at me with their dark yellow eyes. I turned away and kept going.

When I looked up, there were wolves in the actual trail. These ones looked like they had been waiting for me. They were crouched at the very edges of the trail, on both sides, like a guard of honor for an important guest. I didn't slow down, I just trudged on, and as I passed the first pair of wolves they fell into step behind and followed at my heels. Then the next pair. Then the next pair. Eventually I had an entire retinue of wolves behind me, snarling and popping their teeth and eager for any reason at all to attack me.

I went on, my heart pounding, and eventually I came up to a small hill where the trees thinned out. The hill was covered in rocks and at the base of the rocks was a black hole that led into the caves underneath.

Sam and Jacob were standing at the entrance of the cave.

They were in human form and fully clothed, so I guess they knew I was coming. Sam wore an expression of stony authority as I approached with the deer on my shoulders and Jake was staring at me with his mouth open. I realized it was my hair he was staring at and I almost smiled. He seemed to like it.

My entourage of wolves had followed me out of the trees and now they formed a semi-circle behind me, as if to keep me from getting away. I hove up in front of Sam and Jake, cringing from the weight on my back, and tossed my chin at Jake.

"Hey, Jake," I said, casually, as if simply meeting him after school to hang out.

He seemed completely stunned, staring at my hair, the shotgun, the dead deer on my shoulders. It had been a long time since he'd seem me last and I must've looked like a completely different person.

It was Sam who spoke.

"How did you find this place?" he asked. "Are you conspiring with that leech we've been unable to track down? Her mate?"

I assumed he meant Jasper. But since Jasper and Victoria were out there, waiting to strike, I figured it was best to not mention it. "I called Alice on her cell," I said. "She gave me the GPS coordinates."

"Drop the deer."

I hesitated, straining under the weight. I needed to get it to Alice, but it was going to be impossible without talking it over with Sam, and I didn't know how long I could just stand here with it on my shoulders.

"Drop the deer," he repeated.

I blew out a breath and did what he said. The carcass landed with a loud thud in the grass behind me.

"And the shotgun," he said. "It wouldn't do you any good anyway."

The shotgun was slung over my shoulder by a leather strap and I let my hand rest on the stock. "I'd rather just keep it handy, if you don't mind."

He seemed to accept the fairness of that, considering I was surrounded by hostile wolves with many sharp teeth, and he gave a small shrug. "Suit yourself."

I nodded, still breathing a little heavy from my hike through the woods. I looked back the way I came and assessed the positions of the wolves. All of them were low to the ground, growling under their breath, and their amber eyes were focused solely on me. Rather than scare me, it gave me hope. It meant they were distracted.

I turned back to Sam and Jake.

"I want to see Alice," I said.

Jake looked at Sam in indecision, as if he actually wanted Sam to let me, but Sam just shook his head.

"Out of the question," he said. "In her starved state, she'd kill you on sight."

"That's why I bought the deer," I said.

Sam didn't answer. He didn't have to.

"Please," I said. "She's dying."

"And rightfully so," he said. "She's a monster. They all are. Paul's death is on her hands."

"It was Jasper who shot him. Alice would never hurt anybody."

Sam sighed as if this line of reasoning would have absolutely no effect on him and he was wearied that I would even try. "Regardless," he said. "They are all part of the same coven. I warned those leeches never to return here. This land is our responsibility. Her death will be a second warning and perhaps this time they'll heed it."

"Please don't," I said. "They only came back here to help me. My father was in danger. You guys are the ones who confronted them in Alaska when you didn't have to."

Sam glanced at Jake. Jake looked down.

Sam turned back to me. "The reason we went to Alaska was to bring you home to your father," he said. "At Jacob's request. For your own good. Yet you chose to remain with the leeches and now one of our brothers is dead. And now you think we owe you anything?"

I ignored all that and focused on what was important.

"Please," I said. "Alice doesn't deserve to die."

He didn't answer. Jake shuffled his feet awkwardly. He looked like maybe he wanted to intervene on my behalf, but as the beta wolf, it wasn't his place. I looked at him and back at Sam.

"Just let me take her and go," I said. "You've made your point. The Cullen's will never come back here. You don't have to kill her."

He still didn't answer and this time I turned to Jake.

"Jake, please," I said.

Sam frowned with authority. "Jake has no say in this."

I shook my head and started pleading again. "Please," I said. "She's not a bad person. She's never hurt a human in her life. Not even as a newborn. She's my bestfriend. She's the sweetest person in the world. She's not a monster, she's just…"

Sam snorted. "Not a monster," he said, echoing my words.

"No," I said quietly. "She isn't."

Sam looked at me. His eyes were dark and they narrowed slightly. "This is not the first time we've met in these woods," he said. "Do you remember? The first time we met, I may have saved your life. I found you in this exact area. Abandoned. Shivering in the leaves like some animal where the Cullens had left you. And why did they leave you?"

I looked down. "Because Jasper tried to kill me."

"And you still claim they're not monsters?"

"Only one of them is," I whispered. Then I looked up at Jake. "Jake, please. I know you trust me. So trust me that Alice doesn't deserve to die. If you let her waste away in that cave, you're basically murdering an innocent girl."

Jake looked at Sam. Sam was taller and he looked down at Jake as if to allow him to speak for himself. Jake turned back to me with an apologetic face.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said. "She killed Paul."

"Jasper killed Paul!" I yelled at them. "Not Alice!"

The growling behind me grew. I ignored them, glaring at Sam. I was so sick of people blaming Alice for things that weren't her fault that I was ready to fight them all myself. Sam glanced at his pack, calming their growls, and then he turned back to me, his face cold and unswayed by any of my pleas.

"The girl will be held accountable for her coven's actions," he said.

My face darkened in disgust. I looked at Jake, at Sam. I looked at the wolves all around me.

Then I took the shotgun down from my shoulder.

Sam smirked at the movement and the wolves began to growl again. Jasper had loaded the shotgun back at the house and now I pumped a round into the chamber like he had shown me and set the butt of the stock against my shoulder and lifted the barrel to Sam's chest.

"This is your last chance," I said. "Let me into the cave or else."

Sam looked at me steadily. "Go home, Bella. Charlie is worried about you."

"I'm not going anywhere without Alice."

"Take comfort that we're allowing her to die in peace. Or we can drag her out of the hole she's hiding in and kill her right in front of you. The choice is yours."

I glared at him along the sight of the shotgun. Jake was standing by indecisively, frowning at me but not really glaring, and I turned my eyes back to Sam.

"Fine," I said.

Then I shot him in the chest.

The concussion was enormous and it staggered me backward. A loud squawking of birds followed as whole flocks of them flapped up from the trees. The blast had hit Sam directly in the chest in a mist of blood and shirt-material but it didn't even take him off his feet. He lifted his seething black eyes to mine and suddenly he morphed into wolf form.

Oh fuck.

I looked around the forest wildly. The shotgun was supposed to be the signal, but where were Jasper and Victoria? Had Jasper betrayed me again? Had he—

Oh god.

Had he killed Victoria and now left me to die? No, because that would be the same as killing Alice as well. He wouldn't leave Alice to die…would he?

All these fears passed through my head in the blink of an eye. Sam's wolf form was colossal, much larger than all the others, and his fur was jet black. Blood was dripping from his chest as he stepped toward me but the wound seemed mostly harmless. I pumped the shotgun again, staggering backwards. None of the other wolves behind me had moved, I could only hear them growling. I lifted the shotgun at the wolf in front of me but Sam only snarled. His teeth were white and glistening and long as knives. His growl was growing, his eyes boring into mine, and then—

A fist flew into his face from the side.

It was Victoria.

She had appeared in a blur and my heart almost burst to see her. A great howl of anger went up from the wolves behind me and I spun around just in time to see a blur of black coat and black hat glimmer among the trees before Jasper burst forth with a rifle in each hand. Several of the wolves leapt at him and he levelled one of the rifles and shot the first one through the head causing it to whimper and hit the ground like a stone and then he spun away from the second one in an elegant flare of coattails before levelling the second rifle as it leapt again and shooting it through its snarling mouth so that the bullet erupted from the back of its brainpan in a welter of blood and bonematter, no mercy for either of them.

I spun back to Victoria and she grabbed my shoulders and looked fiercely into my eyes.

"Get your friend," she said. "Hurry."

I nodded, so grateful at her understanding, and then suddenly she threw me away just as Sam came leaping through the air.

I landed in the grass, beside the deer corpse, and Victoria went to the ground as well. Sam was on top of her, pinning her down and snapping wildly at her throat. Victoria fought back, twisting in the grass, and a second wolf came up and bit her ankle. Victoria began to struggle and I quickly raised the shotgun and fired at the second wolf to save her.

The blast almost took its ear off but the buckshot wasn't as damaging as Jasper's rifle cartridges. The wolf turned to me, growling with his bloody ear half hanging off his head. Victoria was still busy with Sam, grappling through the grass in a frenzy of snarls and snapping teeth, and the second wolf was now focused on me. It approached slowly and I tried to pump the shotgun again, but it wouldn't work. It was jammed somehow. Panicking, I scrabbled backward on the ground, but I was blocked by the deer carcass. The wolf snarled, blood dripping from the side of its face, and then it leapt at me.

I closed my eyes but suddenly there was a loud rifle crack behind me.

My eyes flew open and the wolf spun away through the air with a rifle bullet in its brain. I whirled around and saw Jasper there, standing in a cloud of gunsmoke that lingered in the damp air like a mist as he reloaded his rifles. There were at least four or five dead wolves at his feet and when he caught my frightened eyes he yelled at me across the distance.

"Save Alice, now!" he barked, and then he spun away to deal with more of the wolves.

I quickly flung away the shotgun and gathered the deer onto my back. Victoria was finally gaining the upperhand on Sam, perhaps due to the injury in his chest, and she managed to fling him away as two more wolves leapt at her. She caught the first one and flung him away as well and then seized the second one by the snout as it gnashed at her throat and with a violent twist to the side she managed to completely rip his lower jaw off his face, leaving him to howl brokenly as he dragged himself off through the grass. Sam was back on his feet, black and heaving, and Victoria turned to face him. His wound had dripped blood all over her face and she smirked at his weakened state and then she leapt at him, wolf-like herself, and the two of them started brawling in the dirt.

I winced under the weight of the deer carcass and staggered forward. I had to hurry. Jasper and Victoria seemed to have the upperhand for now, but Alice had been running out of time all day. I had to hurry, I had to—

I looked up.

Jake was blocking the entrance to the cave.

He hadn't changed into a wolf and all around us we were surrounded by the sounds of snarls and growls and cries of pain. He looked around at his pack-brothers, some of them dead, some of them gravely wounded, and then he turned back to me with betrayal and anger in his face and yet still with the same special regard he always had for me. I looked at him imploringly, almost caving under the weight of the deer.

"Jake, please," I said. "I need to save her."

He shook his head in anguish. "I can't, Bella."

"Yes, you can. You know it's the right thing to do. Please, Jake. You were always my bestfriend. You were always the one I could count on when I needed support. Please, just—"

My words were cut off as two wolves approached me from behind and ripped the deer off my back.

I spun around, just in time to see them tear the carcass in half between them, and I screamed in dismay:

"No!"

The wolves looked up, blood all over their faces and deer flesh dangling from their teeth. The carcass was already in several different pieces. I stared at the remains with tears in my eyes. That deer had been Alice's only hope. And now it was…

The wolves growled and approached me. Dimly I realized that they were going to do the same thing to me that they did to the deer. I looked around for help. Jasper was grappling with three different wolves at once, his rifles gone. Victoria was still engaged with Sam. I turned back to the wolves who had torn apart the deer and a deep fear of death came over me. They were crouched down, ready to leap, and—

"Bella, duck!" Jake yelled out from behind me.

I ducked down instinctively just as Jake shifted into wolf form and leapt over the top of me to face off my attackers. He clawed at one of them and snapped at the other. He was protecting me. Even after I had come here with Victoria and Jasper, he was still protecting me. I smiled as he fought them off and felt an almost euphoric rush of gratefulness. When I had no one else, it was always Jake who was there for me.

But right now it was Alice who needed me, and I forced myself to snap out of it and turn away from that bedlam of teeth and fangs and snarls of rage as I stumbled forward into the mouth of the cave.

The roof was low and I had to crouch for at least ten feet until the ceiling got higher. Already the sounds of the battle outside were nothing but a dim echo. It was pitch black in the cave and I had taken my cellphone out for light. Yet even with the light I was stumbling forward blindly, not knowing where Alice was or even what I'd do when I found her. The deer we had killed for her was laying in pieces outside and I had bought nothing with me but the blood in my own body.

The thought filled me with a strange kind of woe but I didn't even slow down, I just stumbled onward through the dark with the pale light of my phone skittering across the floor, the wet rock walls. It wasn't that I wasn't afraid to die, it's just that some things are worth dying for. This was probably one of them. Alice. She was my first love and the very best friend I had. And even though she had made mistakes, her heart was always pure. She had manipulated me and toyed with my feelings and strung me along as a second choice, but how many times had she apologized? How many times did she regret her habit of messing up? She had done it on the phone, in what may have been our very last conversation. Apologizing and telling me she loved me and hoping I would be happy with Victoria. She didn't deserve to die. Not Alice. Not beautiful, pretty, adorable little Alice.

So I stumbled on, and even though I knew I was likely stumbling towards my death, I stumbled on anyway, not hesitating for a single step. I had one hand on the rock wall as a guide and I hoped Alice wasn't too far. It didn't seem to be a large cave and I hadn't noticed any passages that led in different directions.

"Alice!" I called into the dark, panic creeping into my voice. "Alice, where are you?!"

I stumbled on and sniffed and then very dimly I heard a voice croak in the dark.

"Bella…?"

I spun to the left, my heart racing.

It was coming from over there.

I started in that direction, through the dark, and finally I saw her. She was wearing dirty jeans and a ragged jacket and she was laying on her side like something that had already died and been left here to hide.

"Alice," I gasped, running to kneel down beside her. "Alice, oh thank god your alive."

I set the phone on the floor of the cave so that it would cast a weak light upward. There was no sound at all from outside this deep in the cave and all I could hear was the steady drip of water in a pool somewhere in the dark. Alice looked up with her dirty face, her eyelids fluttering, and then her eyes widened in alarm as she saw me.

"Your hair," she gasped weakly. "What happened to your hair?"

I didn't know whether to giggle or sob. That was so typical Alice. Even here, in the floor of this cave with her life slipping away from her, the first thing she had noticed was my hair.

Oh, Alice.

But then her nose winkled as she breathed for the first time in my presence and suddenly she inhaled sharply and her eyes dilated in a black spasm of starvation. A strange groan came out of her, a sound of utter dismay and abject hunger, and she pushed at me feebly with one arm while trying to roll away.

"No," she moaned. "Get away from me. Your scent. I can't—_Ah_!"

Now it was her body that spasmed, a shuddering fit like an epileptic. I watched her, afraid of what it meant, and then I sniffed and tried to gather her into my arms.

"Alice, it's okay," I whispered. "Come here. You have to feed from me."

"Nooo!" she wailed, struggling weakly to push me away.

I had her head in my lap like a nurse and I caught her face in my hands and I began to stroke her hair to try and calm her. Her hair was wet and gritty and she was whimpering and shivering like a junkie.

"Alice," I said. "Alice, look at me."

She looked at me, her eyes dead black and her throat jerking and chugging, swallowing repeatedly as if she could already taste my blood. Her skin was pale and paper-thin in the weak light of the cellphone and one of her hands was unconsciously clawing at me. If she had been any stronger, that hand probably would have torn me to pieces already. I had half-hoped that I might survive this, but looking at her now, I knew for certain that I wasn't going to.

And it didn't matter.

"You're dying, Alice," I told her. "You need to feed from me. Now."

"I can't," she whimpered. "It's too dangerous."

I slapped her.

A sharp little slap that echoed back and forth through the chamber of the cave. She gasped at the contact and went into convulsions again, jerking and twitching in my lap. I stroked her face and forced her to look at me. Her face was streaked with grime and crumpled into something beyond sadness and I smiled at her and spoke to her chidingly.

"You let me worry about what's dangerous," I said. "I don't need anyone telling me what to do. That's what got you into this mess, remember? This time you do what I tell you, alright?"

She sniffed. Her eyes were wet and tears were rolling down her face. Actual tears. I looked at them in amazement. Vampire's couldn't cry, yet that was exactly what she was doing. But when I wiped one of them away with my thumb I realized that they weren't tears.

They were venom.

I could feel it burning into the skin of my thumb and I quickly wiped it onto my clothes. Now my own eyes were filling with tears and I looked down at her pale face and watched her cry tears of venom over how badly she wanted me. Needed me.

"Let me die," she whispered. "Please. It hurts so much."

"It doesn't have to hurt, Alice. Just feed from me and it'll all be better, okay?"

"No… Dangerous…"

She was drifting away and I stroked her face to make her look at me again. "Listen to me, Alice," I said. "I'm not afraid of danger when it means protecting the people I care about. So do it, okay?"

Her convulsions had finally calmed into shivers and she looked at me in a moment of clarity with her eyes blinking and leaking venom. "I can't, Bella," she whispered. "I saw it. In a vision. Just before you came in."

"What did you see?"

"You let me do it. And…"

"And what Alice?"

She closed her eyes and turned away in pain. "I don't know. There was blood. So much blood. So much…"

She was shuddering again and she whimpered as she tried to control herself. I stroked her and thought about her vision and wondered what it meant.

"Did you actually see me die, Alice?" I asked her softly.

She turned her quivering face back to mine. "No," she admitted.

I smiled and continued to stroke her hair. "You always over-exaggerate these things," I said, trying to convince her it would be okay. "I bet there's hardly any danger at all."

She was shaking her head in my lap, side to side, eyes squeezed shut. "No," she wheezed. "No." Her eyes opened. They were so huge and black in her translucent face. She blinked them and shivered and gasped her words like someone who was very cold. "Don't let me, Bella. Please. You can't. I'd rather die… Than hurt you… I'd rather die… Than—"

Suddenly she turned and buried her face into my midsection. She seemed to have utterly lost control, but she was so weak that she couldn't do anything. I could feel her jaw moving in my clothes and I realized she was trying to bite my stomach. It was like having a small wild animal in my lap.

I blinked tears away at the obvious pain she was in. And at the obvious lack of control she was going to have once my blood entered her mouth and gave her the strength to fully unleash her hunger. I stroked her hair, whispering to her, and eventually she stopped trying to bite me and just laid there with her face in my lap as her breath shuddered in and out.

"You smell like her," she said in a broken voice.

I almost laughed, but I sobbed instead. Why bring up Victoria now? Why at this moment? Why…?

But then I got an idea. Alice needed assurance that she wasn't going to kill me and recently Victoria had needed that same assurance. Of course, this was a completely different situation. Victoria hadn't been starving and she never had to resist the actual taste of my blood in her mouth. As inexorable as Victoria's hunger had been, it was nothing compared to the hunger that Alice was labouring under right now. But it was the same basic dilemma, and maybe I could convince Alice the same way I convinced Victoria.

So I quickly shook away all my tears and forced myself to be strong. I grabbed her face and opened her eyes with my thumbs and looked directly into them.

"You're not going to hurt me, Alice," I told her. "And you want to know why? Because you love me. You do love me, don't you?"

She blinked at me and cried away more of her venomous tears and finally she gave a nod that ended in a shiver and shudder. "Yes," she whispered.

I smiled and cupped her dirty cheek. "Then don't be afraid," I said. "That love will keep me alive. I promise."

Then, without waiting for her to reply, I placed my wrist at her mouth.

She moaned and her eyes rolled back and even now she tried to resist. I stroked her hair with my other hand, cradling her head in my lap, and then I leaned down to place a kiss of encouragement on top of her head. Her hair was wet and gritty but I held my lips there for a moment, letting her feel it, and then I lifted my face and pressed my wrist firmer against her cold and trembling lips.

"I trust you, Alice," I said. "I love you. Do it, okay? Do it and we can get out of here."

I didn't think I would be leaving the cave alive, but I knew it would help her to hear. Her hands came up and grasped my wrist, holding it at her mouth. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was open. I could feel her teeth brushing against my skin and a low moan came out of her.

"It's okay," I whispered to her, still stroking her hair. "Go ahead. Just a little bite. It won't hurt. Just a small snack until—"

I gasped as her teeth bit almost to the bone.

—

**AN: In my humble opinion, this was a helluva chapter, lol. Maybe I'm just happy to see Alice finally get a real dramatic moment. Pretty intense writing her hunger at the end. I even got a bit misty again. Jasper was really fun to write too, especially his dialogue. His defence of Alice was basically all the things I'd like to say to certain reviewers, lol. And I loved the action scenes too. Jasper got most of the glory, but Victoria had her moments too. And Bella got to shoot a shotgun, lol. How weird is that? The main character of Twilight with short hair and a shotgun. Good lord. Never knew this fic would get so crazy when I first started it. Anyway, that was a pretty cruel cliffhanger, so I better start hustling on the next chapter. Update soon. :) **


	21. Chapter 21

—

Chapter 21:

—

The moan that came out of her as my blood entered her mouth was like nothing I'd ever heard before, hollow and mindless, a sound from beyond all control. Her teeth were ripping into my skin and I cried out from how bad it hurt.

"Alice," I gasped, still trying to stroke her hair. "Alice, relax. Calm down."

But she didn't even seem to hear. Her teeth were gnawing into the bone in my forearm and blood was dripping freely. Her bite was getting stronger and so were her hands. I could feel them clutching my arm like claws. Another one of those moans came out of her and all of my earlier selflessness was being chased away by terror. Suddenly I was afraid to die. I didn't want to, not like this. It wasn't right. My hand stopped trying to stroke her head and now I was trying to pull her away by the hair.

"Alice, please," I said, sobbing in pain. "You have to relax. Don't let yourself lose control. Please. I trust you. Just—"

Suddenly she flung my arm away, spun around, and bit into my neck with her teeth.

I screamed out loud and fell backwards on the cold rock floor and I screamed again as her teeth ripped open the side of my neck. I actually felt the flesh come away and then suddenly I went silent and the pain was gone. My head lolled to the side. My cellphone was sitting there in its pale cup of light and I could see my blood spreading in a pool toward it, dark at first and brighter red as it got closer to the light.

Alice was on top of me and she wasn't moaning anymore. Her face was buried into the wound in my neck and she was growling and biting and gulping down the gushing blood. There was no point even trying to save myself anymore. It had to have been an artery that she opened. I guess she had been right this time. It really was too dangerous. But then the shock began to fade and my body started to struggle feebly, pushing at her and trying to squirm away from the cold weight on top of me.

"Alice," I said, my voice coming out in barely a whisper. "Alice, stop."

She growled again and now she was rubbing her body into me, like foreplay for sex but with an awful aggressiveness, as if she wanted to grind me into the stone. She was gaining strength and soon she would outright kill me. I continued to struggle weakly, crying now. It was just so sad. I thought she might've had a chance at restrain herself, but now it wouldn't even matter. If she didn't break me in half any minute, I would bleed out anyway. I had always thought the act of feeding might've even been romantic under the proper circumstances, but there was nothing romantic about this. It was just pain and fear and abject helplessness as she fed from me. Ate from me. Like an animal. One of her hands was gripping into my shoulder and suddenly—

The shoulder popped out of its socket and I screamed again.

"Alice, please!" I pleaded in a broken voice. "Stop it! You're going to—"

Then suddenly there was a loud suck of air, an inexplicable gust of wind in this underground cave, and—

Someone ripped Alice's head away from my neck.

It was Victoria.

Her one yellow eye was set in a glare and she had Alice's head in both hands. Alice hissed at her hideously, her mouth covered in blood, and in that moment it was like I didn't even recognize her. Her hunger had turned her into a monster. She went to swipe at Victoria with a clawed hand but Victoria slammed her into a nearby wall before flinging her across the cave where she disappeared into the dark, rolling and clattering through the blackness.

I was still on the floor, weak and blinking from blood loss. I looked up at her and whispered:

"Victoria…"

Victoria looked at me and at first her expression was full of worry. But then her nose twitched as the scent of my spilt blood filled her nostrils and suddenly her eye went pitch black. It was as if she blinked without moving her eyelids. The black pupil seemed to swallow her amber iris.

But this time there was no fear. I knew she wouldn't be able to resist my actual blood and that any moment she was going to simply finish me off. Victoria had only been a vegetarian vampire for a very short time. There was no way she could resist the scent of fresh blood in the air, especially not mine. But it didn't scare me anymore because she had come to save me. And even if she only saved me for a second, it would be alright.

I smiled at her weakly from the floor of the cave, the wound in my neck still dribbling fresh blood, my pale face laying in a red pool. Her chest had begun to heave and she was staring at my neck in a sort of trance, frozen, quivering from the restraint and only seconds from snapping. I smiled at her and with my final words I had to let her know it was alright. I couldn't let her hate herself for what she was about to do.

"It's okay," I whispered. "It's—"

She lunged at my neck.

But it wasn't her mouth that covered the wound.

It was her hand.

At first I didn't know what she was doing and then I realized she was holding the wound closed to stop the bleeding. Her eye was still pitch black but it was gazing at me with love and fear and utter desperation for my life.

"I saw the deer outside," she said. "I knew what you were going to do."

I smiled again, amazed that she had controlled herself. She smiled as well but it was a broken smile full of sadness as my blood continued to run between her fingers.

"You stupid girl," she said in a small whimper. "You stupid, _stupid_ girl."

"I'm sorry…"

She ignored the apology and tried to get me to sit up, still clutching the wound closed. "We have to get out of here," she said. "Can you stand? How bad are you hurt?"

I sat up with her support, wincing with my dislocated shoulder, and looked into the darkness beyond the light of the cellphone.

"Alice," I said. "Is Alice…?"

I trailed off as a low growling sound came from the dark.

Victoria froze and together we watched and waited. After a moment there was a scrape of stone. Then another one. The growling became louder, only it didn't really sound like growling. More like the purr of some demonic feline, and then we saw her. Alice. She was utterly bloodcrazed and she came crawling into our small ring of light on her hands and knees like a spider, her eyes black and hollow and her head twitching and tilting to one side as she sniffed at the scent of my blood.

Fear began to clench at my chest and I realized that wasn't Alice. That wasn't Alice at all.

"Alice," I wheezed in a panic. "Alice, stop. We can get out of here now, just…"

Victoria took my hand and pressed it against my wound so that she would have both of her own hands free. She glared across the darkness at Alice.

"Stay back," she said. "Or I'll kill you."

Alice was looking solely at me, as if Victoria didn't even exist, and now she crouched low like a black and blood stained panther. Victoria too crouched into position to defend me. I watched them helplessly with the blood pumping through my fingers and I said:

"Alice, please, don't…"

But she was too mindless to hear and suddenly she leapt.

At me.

It made me flinch away in fright, but it was probably a good thing she went for me instead of Victoria. Victoria used the distraction to her advantage and she managed to grab Alice and sling her away. Alice squalled in indignation and adjusted her focus to fight back. She slashed at Victoria's face with her fingernails, opening two furrows in Victoria's perfect skin, and then Victoria growled and grabbed her again.

It was a terrifying thing to watch in that close confinement of the cave. They fought like feral cats, hissing and snarling and scrabbling across the floor of the cave as they clawed and bit at one another. Luckily, Victoria seemed to have the advantage. Alice was energized from her recent feeding, but at the same time, she was weak from her long hunger. She was also very distracted by me. She kept trying to lunge at me, and Victoria always seized the opening to grab her throat or her wrist and throw her into the rocks.

I watched them, clutching my neck. I could feel myself fading and knew the blood loss was very serious. If I didn't get to a hospital very soon, I was going to die, and yet I didn't know what to hope for. I didn't want Victoria to kill Alice and I didn't want Victoria to get hurt either. I just wanted Alice to snap out of it. She had fed enough to keep her alive. Why couldn't we just leave the cave together? Why was she still so—

Alice finally slipped away from Victoria and lunged at me once more. This time she actually got to me, knocking me down and pouncing on top of me with a whimper of eagerness.

"Alice!" I screamed. "Alice, no!"

She dove at my neck but Victoria grabbed her hair from behind and dragged her back. This time Alice didn't refocus on Victoria at all. She just whimpered and mewled and struggled like a dog on a leash as she reached for me with her hand until—

Victoria smashed her head into the floor of the cave.

I cried out at what a horrible sound it was. The collision dazed Alice but only for a moment before she looked up, cracks across her porcelain white forehead, and tried to crawl toward me and my blood. I clutched my neck again and watched, torn between fear and pity. Victoria was seething in anger and without any mercy she mounted Alice from behind and grabbed her head and began to smash it repeatedly into the stones.

Once, twice, three times. It was horrifying and Alice couldn't even resist anymore. Her head was smashing into the ground in little explosions of rock and soon there was a huge dent in the floor of the cave that Victoria continued to deepen by pounding Alice's head into it, snarling and heaving with each smash. Alice was almost entirely limp by now and I was terrified because it looked like Victoria wasn't going to stop.

"Victoria!" I cried. "Stop it, you're killing her!"

Victoria paused, mounted on Alice's back and staring at me with her pitch black eye. She seemed to have been somewhat lost in her frenzy and I knew I had to shake her out of it.

"Please," I said. "We have to get out of here."

My words finally seemed to have gotten through to her and she let Alice's head fall and came rushing over to my side. She helped me struggle to my feet and I was so woozy that I stumbled into her arms. She straightened me up and I closed my eyes for a moment to regain my senses.

"I'm alright," I said. "I'm alright."

Then I opened my eyes and saw Alice beginning to move. I had no way of knowing that she had snapped out of her crazed state, but I pulled away from Victoria and went to kneel beside Alice.

I was still clutching my neck and I used my dislocated arm to painfully help her roll over. Her face came up, streaked with blood and dirt, covered in cracks like ruined marble. She blinked her black and empty eyes and looked up at me.

"Alice," I said. "Alice, you have to get up."

Her face crumpled in sorrow as she looked at my wound and realized what she done. A wretched sob came out of her that shook her small and beaten frame.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," she whimpered. "I failed you again. I…"

Victoria had been watching but now she came over and yanked me away possessively before speaking to Alice who was still there on the ground.

"Get up," she said coldly. "Now."

Alice looked away in shame and then she rolled onto her side and struggled up to her feet.

We had left behind my cellphone and together the three of us started stumbling through the darkness. Vampires could see in the dark, but I went along utterly blind, with only Victoria's arms around my shoulders to guide me. My legs were weak and I was very dizzy. I thought I would've been dead by now, but maybe Victoria had saved me in time to staunch the worst of the blood loss.

Soon there was a pale light up ahead. There were no sounds of wolves or gunshots and as we emerged from the mouth of the cave I saw that the only person standing was Jasper.

"The wolves retreated to regroup," he said. "They'll be back any minute."

He was reloading his rifles and now he seemed to see us properly. He saw the blood on my neck and hand and all down my arm and his eyes cut coldly from me to Victoria.

"Where's Alice?"

Alice was behind us and now she came forward meekly. In the daylight, she looked to be in even worse shape than me. Pale, drawn, covered in blood and filth, her face a bloodstained deathmask of cracked plaster. She saw her mate standing there, a hero surrounded by the carcasses of her fallen tormentors, and she offered him a weak smile.

"Hey, Jazz," she said.

Jasper grabbed her and hugged her tightly. She went into his arms like a rag doll and didn't hug him back. She didn't seem to have the energy.

I watched the embrace with a sick feeling of loathing inside of me. I could barely even stand with Victoria's help but I couldn't let that hug go on for a single second longer.

"Alice," I said. "Get away from him."

Alice didn't seem to hear me and Jasper didn't let her go. He only looked at me coldly under the brim of his black hat, squeezing her even tighter, and I went to open my mouth again but—

"Be quiet," Victoria hissed at me.

I was stunned. Why was she tell me to—?

Victoria turned to Jasper and nodded at the woman in his arms. "Take her and go," she said. "Never come near Bella again. Either of you. She belongs to me now. Bella is _mine_. Do you understand?"

I felt my throat begin to close over. No. No, she couldn't…

Alice turned to look at me with half her smashed up face still buried in Jasper's chest. Her eyes were dark red and I was struck by how beautiful they looked on her. Jasper held her and nodded at Victoria.

"We understand," he said, and then he released Alice to smirk and tip his hat. "Much obliged."

Alice slipped out of his grip and turned to me more fully. The expression in her eyes was something beyond loss and sadness and I looked at her with my throat and my chest filled with panic at what those eyes could mean.

"Alice…"

But she shook her head and smiled at me even more sadly. "Goodbye, Bella," she said. "I'm so sorry for everything. Be happy with Victoria, okay? I love you…"

Her words were tearing my heart apart. What was she saying? What was going on? I opened my mouth but she turned into Jasper's arms and Jasper scooped her up like a bride and then they blurred away and disappeared into the forest.

I stared at where they'd gone with my mouth open. Alice was gone. Alice was…

"Come on," Victoria said, trying to get me to move. "We have to go."

My legs were failing and I was sinking down to the grass. "No," I gasped. "Victoria, you can't. You can't leave her with him. Call her back. Please…"

Victoria was laying me down in the dirt and the weeds. I was too weak to move and I couldn't even stand anymore. She completely ignored my pleas and only looked into my pale face with concern. I was shivering and I only just became aware of it.

"I have to suck the venom out," she said.

I gasped and my body bucked, as if all the pain took to trigger was a reminder. I closed my eyes and shook my head franticly. "No. Just let me turn."

"There's no time, Bella. Do you trust me to do this?"

I opened my eyes again and looked at her, shivering and gasping. She was covering the wound with one hand and cupping my cheek with the other. Her eye was still pitch black but it was round with affection and there was no trace of anything in it but the desire to save me.

"Yes," I whispered. "I love you."

She smiled at me and then she quickly mashed her lips onto mine in a fevered kiss. "I love you too," she said into my mouth. "Close your eyes."

I let them fall closed one more time and then…

Her mouth latched onto my neck. It was cold and almost nice. Blood from the wound was still flowing and she moaned as it coated her tongue, her mouth. This was the moment she had been lusting for ever since she laid eyes on me, but I had no fear. At first she had sucked very aggressively at the wound but it only took a moment or two to reign her hunger back. Her lips became softer and I let myself fade away. I knew that I still might die anyway, even if she did keep herself under control, but I still didn't care. I was so tired of fighting and struggling against everything. No matter what I did, nothing ever worked out. And now Alice was gone. And without Alice…

But I never got to complete the thought because I passed out.

—

I woke up in a hospital. There was a respirator over my face and tubes in my arm. My eyes only fluttered open for a moment, just long enough to see Victoria there at my bedside, before I slipped away again.

Over the next couple days I faded in and out of consciousness. The doctor told me that the coma had been bought on by the blood loss which had caused a deprivation of oxygen to the brain. They had done scans and they said I wasn't likely to develop brain damage, although if they knew what I had been up to lately, maybe they'd change their minds on the brain damage.

Victoria never left my sight aside from doctor's orders. She was there when I woke up and there when I went back to sleep. She was there to help me to the bathroom. She had told the doctors a story about another unfortunate camping trip, this time involving a bad fall off a ledge. She had also given them a fake name and paid for my care in cash.

I had been in a coma for three days and it was three more before I was ready to be released the next morning. That night I lay there in the hospital bed with Victoria at my side as she always was, holding my hand and stroking it with the ball of her thumb. I didn't react to her touch or even acknowledge her. I had hardly even spoken to her since I woke up. The doctors thought it was post-traumatic depression. I thought it was something else. But I couldn't name what it was and all I did was stare up at the florescent light in the ceiling with no thoughts in my head at all.

On that final night in the hospital the silence grew too much for Victoria. She had become more and more anxious every day, and now, at about midnight, she gave my hand a squeeze and spoke in a small voice.

"I had no choice," she said. "I know she was your bestfriend and you didn't want to leave her with him, but you were dying and he was still a danger. I had to get rid of him any way that I could."

I didn't look at her. "I'm not mad at you Victoria."

"Then why won't you speak to me?"

I sighed up at the light. "I don't know. It's not you. It's everything. They said I lost a lot of blood. But it feels like I lost a lot more. I feel like it was more than just blood that leaked out of me."

I shook my head and finally turned to look at her with tears beginning to form reluctantly in my eyes.

"I didn't want to save her so that we could just hand her over to Jasper," I said.

She stroked my hand with the ball of her thumb, as if to encourage me to keep looking at her and talking to her. "Then what did you want?"

I gave a helpless shrug, there in the hospital bed. "I wanted us to be friends. The way we used to be. But now…"

I started crying quietly. Victoria's face blurred and I took my hand away from her to wipe my eyes.

"I don't even know if I'm ever going to see her again," I said. "You told her to stay away from me. Forever. Why did you do that? And then she… she…"

I shook my head and sobbed.

"She said goodbye," I said. "She said… She said… She said she was sorry, but… but… it wasn't her fault. She was just…"

Victoria rose from her chair and sat on the edge of the bed instead, waiting as I wiped my eyes and got myself under control. I swallowed the salty lump in my throat and shook my head again.

"I don't even have a number to call her anymore," she said. "And there's no way they're going to stay in Alaska. I don't even know their address there anyway. I keep wondering if she'll change her mind and contact me, but somehow I know she won't. She was going to kill me in that cave. She really was. She thinks all she ever does is let me down, and now…now she's just gone. She thinks that's what I want."

Victoria reached to touch my face delicately. "Is it?"

"No," I said. "All these problems weren't going to last forever. Why did she have to give up? If we could just keep being friends, then…"

I trailed off, because I didn't know. My feelings for Alice were so complicated. I loved her so much, and yet…

I cut off my thoughts with a sniff.

"Well, it doesn't matter anymore," I said. "She's going to live happily ever after with a monster in disguise and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't even call her to warn her. It wasn't her who let me down. It was me who failed."

I looked down at the bedsheets. Victoria was still sitting on the edge of the bed and she had her legs crossed. She was wearing skinny jeans and I noticed with a strange pang how beautiful her legs were. My emotions were flinging all over the place.

"We can try to track her down if you want," she said softly after a silence.

I looked up at her and suddenly I was filled with resentment—for Alice.

"Fuck her," I said. "Fuck them all. I'm so sick of them fucking me around."

The corner of her mouth moved into a little bit of a smile at my outburst. Then I went sad again and sniffed.

"I just feel like she's truly gone this time," I said. "Forever."

Her smile perked a little more and she took my hand and held it in her lap. She petted it softly, like a cat, and then she lifted her eye to mine.

"I'm still here," she said.

I looked into her eye and her sexy loveheart eyepatch and I felt a large surge of love for her. It felt great and I had really needed it. I had felt so alone and hopeless since I woke up, but now I knew that there was no reason to be sad. Because she was right.

She was still here.

And she was always going to be here.

"Thank you for saving me," I whispered to her with tears in my eyes.

She smirked and continued petting my hand. "Yes, well," she said. "I still haven't forgiven you for sacrificing yourself so easily. From now on, I want you to promise me you won't be so reckless with your life ever again. I want you to treat it as preciously as I would."

Precious. Me.

I almost giggled.

"I promise," I said.

She smiled and cupped my face with her hand. We looked at each other for a long moment, just smiling, and then she passed the ball of her thumb over my lips. They were kind of dry and cracked but she still seemed to think they were pretty. I would've liked a kiss but instead I licked them and said:

"You should've let me turn into a vampire. Then you wouldn't have to worry about me being hurt."

She shook her head. "You know it wasn't as simple as that."

"Why not? You could've just taken me away somewhere and let me turn. It would've been safer than sucking the venom out, wouldn't it? I mean, why risk it?"

"Because it was _her_ venom," she hissed abruptly.

It took me aback, but I didn't want it to spoil the mood. I looked at her apologetically. To be honest, I hadn't thought about the venom being Alice's. I didn't even know it was an issue. I hoped she wasn't too mad, but she didn't seem to be. She regained her composure and took her hand away from my face to brush something away from her jeans.

"And in any case, we had no time," she said. "The wolves could've returned at any moment."

I sighed, my thoughts now swinging back to the Quileutes. "The wolves," I repeated. "I can't believe we killed so many of them."

"It was defence. Mostly. And just so you know, I didn't kill any of them."

"You didn't?"

"No. I knew you wouldn't be happy about it."

"Thanks. But I guess that whole massacre was my fault, wasn't it? It was me who…"

She placed a finger on my lips to silence me.

"It was Jasper's plan," she said. "You never wanted any part of it."

I nodded, but I still felt bad for the people who died that day. But the Quileutes weren't blameless and they shouldn't have done what they did to Alice.

Alice.

Oh, Alice. She was gone. I had saved her, but it didn't matter. I had risked my life and ended up in a coma, and in the end, she had just…

But I forced away those feelings before they could overwhelm me again, taking a deep breath and focusing on Victoria.

"I guess you're right," I said. "But I guess we won't be able to stay in Forks, will we?"

"No. While you were asleep, I made false tracks that led north. But it's only a matter of time before they realize we're still here in town. We should be safe in public, but it's best we move on as soon as possible."

"To England?" I suggested with a smile.

She smiled as well. "Is that what you want?"

I reached my arms to pull her down into a hug. I closed my eyes and inhaled the wonderful scent of her hair. "I just want to be with you, Victoria," I said. "Everything in my life as fallen apart. You're the only thing I have left."

"You're all I have left as well."

I released her slightly so that she could cup my cheek in her hand and smile at me. I smiled back and let my eyes flicker over her face lovingly.

"Then I guess all we have is each other," I said. "That's not so bad, huh?"

She smiled and leaned toward my lips.

"No," she whispered. "I think it's marvellous."

Then she kissed me. A cool, soft, press of her lips. It had been the first time she had kissed me in days and my heart contracted from the sensation, as if it wanted to burst right out of my chest. I let my eyes fall closed for that one moment of bliss and then opened them again.

"When do we leave?" I asked in a dreamy whisper.

She sat up and sighed as she thought about it. "Well, I have some contacts in Seattle," she said. "I'll get them working on some passports immediately and we should be able to leave in a few days. Just enough time for you to say goodbye properly to your father."

"Does he know I'm here?"

"No. I used a false name, remember? I didn't want him to see you before you were ready."

I gazed up at her gratefully. A while back I had been worried that maybe she didn't understand or care so much about my feelings, but now I knew that she did. I hadn't even had to ask her if I could say goodbye to my dad, she just knew. And not only did she know, but she was supportive and understanding. It truly was more than just hunger that tied us together.

"Thank you, Victoria," I said. "Can you lay down with me until I fall asleep?"

"I would love to," she said, and then she swung her legs into the cot and laid down on the same pillow beside me, me under the covers, her on top, separated by a bedsheet and yet connected in eye contact until finally I drifted away in her arms.

—

**AN: Bit of a tense chapter, lol. I know a lot of you are eager for Bella to become a vampire, but I have something else in mind, and it's still a little early. Don't worry, though, I'm not gonna wait till the epilogue or anything. I think the chapter turned out okay. Originally Alice was supposed to stop feeding all by herself, thus proving her love for Bella, but that would've been very predictable. I think the darker route favoured her. It still demonstrated her love, but in exactly the wrong way – which is what constantly keeps happening to the poor thing. It also allowed Victoria to swoop in and save the day, which in turn demonstrated the differences between their loves. Victoria tasted Bella's blood as well, but she managed to control herself and save Bella's life. Then Alice realizes all the damage she's done and decides to bow out and say goodbye. Bella is distraught at leaving her with Jasper, naturally, but she takes solace in the fact that there is nothing she can do and now she is completely free to begin her HEA with Vicky in England. Unless something bad happens, of course. You never know, lol. But anyway, why am I recapping the whole damn chapter to you just after you finished reading the fucking thing? You'd think I'd have better things to do, like…get started on the next chapter! :)**


	22. Chapter 22

—

Chapter 22:

—

It was a cold and blustery afternoon the next day when Victoria and I approached the front door of my house. It was Friday, so dad ought to be home from work by now. I was wearing a coat and a scarf and a beanie on my head. The beanie would cover my hair and the scarf would cover the bandages around my throat. At least until after I said hello.

"You sure you wanna do this?" Victoria asked, observing my hesitation.

I took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah," I said, and then I knocked on the door.

While we waited, Victoria placed a kiss on my head. "I'll be here the whole time," she assured me, and I flashed her a quick smile just before the door opened.

It was Charlie. My dad. He looked at me and this time there was no overflowing relief or happiness in his face. Just a pale anxiety as if he knew somehow that I had only returned in order to hurt him again.

Then he saw Victoria. Like me, she was bundled up in a coat and scarf, but her red hair was ablaze on her head and with her eyepatch she must've been a very startling presence there beside his wayward daughter on this bleak afternoon.

He turned back to me. I tried to give him a smile. Moving my mouth seemed to hurt my heart.

"Hi, dad," I said.

He sighed and looked past me down the street, as if to see if I was bringing any trouble with me.

Ten minutes later, with only a handful of words exchanged between us and no hugs, he took us into the kitchen and made coffee. I sat down at the table. Victoria stood in the corner. He didn't offer her coffee and she didn't ask. He set down a steaming mug in front of me and I took off my beanie, my chest wracked with self-consciousness as my haircut was revealed. He looked at it and said nothing. I touched the cup and tried another smile.

"Thanks," I said, referring to the coffee.

He nodded at me and looked at Victoria. He was leaning back against the sink, frowning, and then he turned his frown back to me.

"So where have you been this time?" he asked.

I'd been thinking about how to answer these questions all night and morning and I still found myself with no idea what to say. Charlie was watching me, waiting for an answer, and after a moment I gestured at Victoria with a tilt of my head.

"With Victoria," I said.

He turned his frown to her. "Victoria who?"

The question actually made me chuckle as I turned to look at my redheaded lover. "Actually, I have no idea what her last name is."

Victoria smiled slightly and looked down at the kitchen tiles. Charlie turned back to me furiously.

"Bells, what the hell is going on with you? First you disappear in Phoenix, then you come back and disappear again, you've missed a month of school, and now here you are with a haircut and some strange girl I never met before."

I shrugged helplessly. He turned back to Victoria.

"Who the hell are you?" he demanded.

Victoria looked at me, as if leaving it to me to decide what to tell him. I figured there was at least one thing I should be honest about, one thing that kind of explained everything else, so I beckoned Victoria closer with a wave of my hand.

"Dad, I have to tell you something," I said. "Victoria and I…"

Victoria stood beside me and placed her fine chinawhite hand on the kitchen table. I looked at it there and then I covered it with my own in a subtle caress.

Charlie's face drained. He looked up. I gave him another brittle smile, my insides twisting in anxiety, and said:

"We're together."

He was shocked. Victoria stood there for a moment, letting me caress her hand, and then she pulled out a chair and sat beside me. Charlie was still leaning against the sink. He looked like he might have to turn around and throw up in it.

"I know this is a shock," I said, "and you probably don't approve, but…"

I looked at Victoria, taking strength from her beauty, her poise, her scarlet haired splendor. I turned back to Charlie.

"I've been through a lot recently," I told him. "More than you know. And Victoria… Victoria was there when I needed someone. She's… She's been there for me in so many ways. I can't expect you to understand, but…"

I trailed off, my eyes prickling for fear of how he was going to react. So far he hadn't even looked at me. His first movement was to shake his head and look off at the kitchen cabinets.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, not sure what I was apologizing about but somehow sensing they were the right words.

He shook his head again and now he did look at me. Sadly, as if he didn't recognize me and wanted his real daughter back. His eyes had gone slightly red in his grizzled face and with a visible effort he managed to force all his feelings away for the moment.

"Well," he said. "The important thing is that you're home. We'll work this out, Bells."

He nodded, perhaps mostly to himself. I smiled gratefully, indescribably relieved that there wasn't going to be a scene or a disowning.

"Thanks, dad," I said.

Charlie kept nodding for a few moments and then he sighed and looked up at Victoria.

"I'm guessing you're not from around here, huh?"

Victoria glanced at me briefly, as if to seek permission to speak to my father, and then she turned back to him and spoke with a smile and the sweetest falsetto she was capable of.

"Not quite, no," she said.

It was the first time she had spoken to him and her voice and her British accent and her startling politeness seemed to take him off guard a little. I felt a small flush of pride for her. She had been using her voice and her appearance as weapons against prey for hundreds of years, and she hadn't lost her touch. Charlie cleared his throat but he kept his frown and his overall air of disapproval.

"You need a place to stay?" he asked grudgingly.

Victoria glanced at me again before answering. "I would appreciate remaining near to Bella, yes."

"How about the couch? That near enough for you?"

"That would be fine, thank you," she said, smiling and simply radiating charm.

Charlie grunted, as if he couldn't quite bring himself to say you're welcome. I smiled at the exchange, so happy this was going great, and turned back to my dad.

"Want me to make some dinner?" I asked.

Charlie sighed and glanced at the fridge. "Nah, I haven't exactly been doing any grocery shopping. We'll get pizza."

He was already reaching for the phone. I smiled and looked at Victoria. She smiled back and under the table she gave my knee an encouraging squeeze.

After that slightly rough start, the evening proceeded far smoother than I ever could've hoped. I couldn't even imagine how many questions he must've had about where I had been, what I had been doing, how had I been living, but he didn't ask a single one and all through dinner I found myself wondering why. He seemed very sad and downcast, but there were times when the faintest trace of smile would appear under his moustache as he glanced at me. But only a trace and it always slipped right away. After a while it began to feel as if he was treating me like some distant relative who had only come to visit a while as opposed to his daughter who had just returned home. There was a distance between us, I could feel it, and it was that distance that allowed him to accept my disappearance, my orientation, my strange behaviour. Because part of him wasn't even thinking of me as his daughter, but rather a stranger who used to be his daughter.

It was sad, but I suppose it was for the best, and it made for a much more pleasant dinner than fighting and arguing and demanding answers from me. We ate in the kitchen, sharing a large pizza. Victoria only nibbled on a single slice and I had about three. Charlie made a few light jokes about how long it had been since he had a proper meal. I made a few light jokes about how filthy the house was. Victoria watched us and kept quiet and she seemed to be in a strange state of protectiveness, as if prepared at any moment to leap to my defence. Even my dad seemed to notice her overwhelming concern for me and it even softened him up to the point where he tried to get her to eat a second slice. Vampires couldn't digest human food, but she only demurred once before obliging by taking a slice out of the box and lifting it to her mouth daintily like a girl at a finishing school. I smiled at her and felt a glow of love for this new side of her. The side that wasn't only polite and elegant, but the side that cared about me so much that she actually seem to enjoy being nice to my dad. Lately, I had been very wrapped up in how much I had changed, but Victoria had changed a lot as well. Not so long ago she had been a malicious killer. Now she was something entirely different. Gentle, loving, protective. The rose still had its thorns, but the bloom was lovelier than ever.

Later that night Charlie got some blankets and a pillow for Victoria and we left her on the couch as we went upstairs. He came with me to my room, as if there was something he wanted to say, but the words eluded him, and he only hovered in the doorframe. I walked into my old room and looked at the barren desk, remembering what had happened to my computer. Jasper. It had only been seven days ago and three of those I had spent in a coma, but it felt like an eternity.

Charlie saw me staring at the desk and cleared his throat. "House got broken into a week ago," he said. "They stole all my guns and trashed your room. I guess it was time to get you a new computer, anyway. Maybe a laptop you can bring to school."

I smiled sadly with a great weight in my chest. I wasn't going to be around to go back to school. Not at Forks, at least. In England, maybe. With Victoria.

Charlie cleared his throat again and I turned to him. His expression had become strained and I noticed a little redness in his eyes. Whatever he wanted to say, he was going to say now.

"Look, Bells," he said. "I'm not gonna tell you I'm okay with everything you've been doing lately. But I look at you, and…"

He looked at my hair, my face, the bandage around my neck that I hadn't even explained, and he shook his head. He didn't have words for it, but I thought I did.

"I'm sorry about all this, dad," I said. "I really am. I can't explain everything that's happened recently and I can't ask you to understand. All I can do is tell you that I'm okay. And that I'm going to continue to be okay. Everything that's happened and everything that's going to happen…I can deal with it. So don't worry about me, okay? You can be as mad as you want, but you don't have to worry."

He looked into my eyes, his own struggling back tears, and he seemed to realize what I was saying. He nodded and looked away.

"Yeah, well," he said. "I'm always gonna worry about you, Bella."

I chuckled softly, looking down at the floor. We stood in silence and then he cleared his throat one more time.

"Well, better get to bed," he said. "Night, Bells."

"Night, dad," I said. "Love you."

I tried to say it very casually, so it wouldn't be awkward. He seemed to appreciate it but he didn't say it back. He just smiled and nodded and pulled the door closed as he went out into the corridor.

I sighed and turned back to my room. Everything was the same as I had left it and yet it didn't even feel like my room anymore. It felt like some other girl's room that I was just borrowing. I found some pajamas in the dresser and got changed quickly, checking the bandages in the mirror. The wound had been stitched up at the hospital and it was still very painful. I touched the gauze with my fingertips, thinking back to how it had happened. I still couldn't believe the transformation that had come over Alice. In those moments, she had truly become a monster. Victoria had always talked about how irresistible her hunger for me was, but when the time came, she did resist it. Alice hadn't. But did that mean Alice's hunger was stronger? Or just that Alice herself was weaker?

I let my hand fall from my neck and sat on the bed. Victoria had gotten me a new cellphone and I had put it on the nightstand when I got changed. I had already tried calling Alice but I tried again right now. The number was still disconnected. I tried Edward's old number as well, vaguely surprised it was still in my memory, and I even tried their house phone here in Forks. All of them disconnected. I put the phone down and looked across the room at my desk. The framed photograph of Alice and I at prom was there, the two us of arm in arm, smiling, bestfriends forever. Only forever wasn't forever and now she was gone. I turned away from the photo with a lump in my throat and I switched off the lamp and crawled under the covers.

I was almost asleep when Victoria finally came sneaking into my room.

I heard the door creak in the dark and I smiled into the pillow, knowing exactly who it was.

"About time," I whispered.

She was getting into the bed and I shuffled backwards to make room. It was only a single bed and there was very little room. Which suited me just fine. I had let her borrow some pajamas and she had showered and she smelled clean and nice and beautiful.

"Mmm," I said, still half asleep as I cuddled up to her.

"Sorry I took so long," she whispered very quietly. "I was waiting till your father was asleep."

"I'm almost asleep too."

"That's okay. I'll just hold you."

Her words made me smile with my eyes closed. It was such a turn on that she enjoyed holding me. Too bad it was late and I was so sleepy. I would've loved to have sex with her, but instead I just snuggled.

"Thanks," I said. "My dad's pretty cool, huh?"

"He seems so."

"I think he likes you."

"I hope so. I'm sure it would be nice for you to have his approval."

"Would it be nice for you too?"

She paused for a moment to consider that question. It was great that she cared so much about my feelings, but it would be even better if she felt the same way. Her hand was caressing my waist under the covers and after a moment she said:

"Yes. I suppose it would."

I smiled and hitched a leg over her possessively. "How long can we stay?"

"A day or two. Any longer would be risky. And unnecessarily hurtful for him."

I sighed. My eyes were closed and I was so tired. But it felt so safe in her arms that I couldn't even be sad or ashamed. "And then I guess I'll never see him again," I said. "I must be the shittiest daughter on the planet, huh?"

"No," she whispered. "This will be best for him in the long run. After you become a vampire, you'll be forever disconnected to him. The best thing you can do is leave now and let him remember you as you are."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Maybe I should've left a long time ago. Even just showing up today did a lot of damage to who he thought I was. He almost didn't recognize me."

"Perhaps. But at least you got to introduce him to the woman you love."

"Mmm, that's true. Do you think two days will be enough time for him to forgive me?"

"I think he already has, my beautiful," she told me, and then she placed a kiss on my head. "Go to sleep. Tomorrow you'll have all day to spend with him."

I smiled and snuggled closer to her comforting coolness. Her hand slipped up my top slightly and she continued to caress my waist until I finally fell asleep.

It was still early when I got up the next morning but Victoria was gone. I suppose she had been anxious to get back to the couch before my dad got up. It must've only been a few minutes ago, because I could still smell her in the bed. Like flowers. I closed my eyes and sighed. Then I pushed away the covers and got out of bed.

It was very cold and I didn't have a robe to put on, so I was hugging myself in my pajamas as I came down the stairs. On the bottom step I paused because I could hear voices.

They were coming from the kitchen.

"So let me get this straight," my dad was saying. "You can't tell me where you're from, you can't tell me your last name, and you can't even tell me how old you are. Well, what can you tell me?"

"Only that I love your daughter," replied Victoria's voice.

I smiled at her words, deciding to hang back on the stairs and eavesdrop for a little bit. More than anything I wanted him to approve of Victoria, but he sighed so loudly at her proclamation of loving me that I could hear it out here.

"Yeah, well," he said. "That ain't much of a comfort."

Victoria's voice seem to take that in stride. "I can also tell you that Bella is one of the strongest, smartest, most selfless girls I've ever met. You can trust her to do the right thing."

"I never had any problem trusting my own daughter. It's you I'm concerned about."

"You needn't be. All I want is to make her happy."

He sighed again at that and I could almost picture him shaking his head. It made my smile slip a little. I guess no matter how many times she assured him she loved me, it was just impossible to trust her.

But then he spoke again and his voice was much softer.

"You seem like a decent kid," he said. "Polite. Well-spoke. Intelligent. As a cop, I'm pretty good at reading people. I know when they're lying. I know how to see through their bullshit."

"And? What is it you see through me?"

I held my breath for a moment as he thought about his next words. I could hear my heart beating in my ears. When he spoke again, his voice had a tone of resignation.

"I believe you love my daughter," he said. "That doesn't mean I trust you, but…I guess it could be a lot worse."

I let out the breath I was holding, relief flooding through my body. Victoria's voice when she spoke sounded very relieved as well.

"Thank you," she said.

Charlie sighed again and then there were some clattering sounds at the coffeemaker. "She does seem happy with you, at least," he said. "There was one guy she used to date called Edward. She ever tell you about him?"

"Briefly."

"I never could figure out what she saw in that guy. He seemed to do nothing but make her miserable. Although he did have a sister she liked a lot. Alice. Alice always made her smile."

"Yes. She talks about Alice a lot."

For some reason I blushed. I didn't know if I was ashamed or embarrassed. Was it wrong that I still cared so much about Alice? No matter how much I loved Victoria, Alice would always—

"Something wrong with that coffee?" Charlie asked Victoria.

I realized that I had been eavesdropping too long and I quickly came around the corner into the kitchen. They both looked me as I came in, Victoria smiling at me from the kitchen table.

"Hey," I said to her, and then looked at Charlie. "Morning, dad."

He nodded from over by the coffeemaker. Weirdly, he actually seemed less comfortable with me in the room than just Victoria.

Victoria took my hand and pulled me to the table. "Here, have my coffee," she offered, and then she turned to apologize to Charlie. "I don't really drink caffeine."

Charlie shrugged it off as if he didn't mind. I sat down and took a sip. It was black and bitter, but nice and warm. I smiled at Victoria to thank her. Our eyes caught for a moment and Charlie cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"So what are you girls gonna be doing today?" he asked gruffly.

"Um, I don't know," I said. "I guess we'll just hang out here. Maybe I'll call Jake to say hi. Or maybe I'll get the vacuum cleaner out and clean this place for once."

Charlie chuckled into his mug as he finished the last of his coffee and then he put the mug in the sink. "Well, I got some errands to run. But we've got a lot to talk about. I don't even know what I'm supposed to tell the school."

I nodded, but obviously that wasn't something either of us needed to worry about. Charlie hesitated a bit, frowning as if wondering if there was anything else he was supposed to say, and then he sighed.

"Well," he said. "I better get out of here."

I nodded and he nodded back and then he was gone.

That morning I had my first breakfast in a week that wasn't hospital food and after that Victoria and I set about cleaning the house, like I said I would. Victoria was mine to order around and she did each task I asked of her without any fuss and even with a bit of pleasure. Her vampire speed came in quite handy and we were finished in no time. I had filled up an entire bag of dust in the vacuum cleaner and I kept shaking my head at how he had let the house go like this. I hoped he would take better care of himself after I was gone for good. I had to make sure I said goodbye in a way that didn't leave him too depressed and worried about me that he was unable to cook or clean.

Afterwards I gave Jake a call from the house phone. I wasn't sure if he'd even pick up, since I had no idea what became of him after the battle last week, but he did, and I asked him if he wanted to come over for a bit.

Ten minutes later he pulled up on the curb on his motorcycle. Victoria and I were sitting on the porch, waiting. Jake pulled off his helmet and now he came trotting across the grass. But then he saw Victoria and stopped. I whispered to her that maybe I should talk to him alone and she nodded and rose and gave him a lingering glare of protectiveness before she turned and went back inside. I rose as well and smiled at Jake.

He never came into the house. I took him around the side of the house and we sat in the swingset in the backyard. The swingset was part of a junglegym from my childhood and the weight of both of us caused the steel beam to sag. The midmorning sun was a bright spot in the blanket of cloud overhead and we held the chains and swayed in the swings. At first we didn't have much to say. Like with my dad, too much seemed to have happened to simply go back to how we were. He made a few jokes about my hair. I smiled and said thanks. We fell silent for a long moment and it was me who spoke next.

"Is Sam gonna figure out that you came to see me?" I asked.

He understood my concern and shook his head. "No. I was kicked out of the pack, which cuts off the psychic connection. I guess I'm a lone wolf now."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I know you only did what you did for me."

But he shook his head again and even smiled slightly. "It's alright," he said. "It wasn't only because of you. I couldn't condone what they were doing to that girl anyway, leech or not. Is she alright?"

He was talking about Alice. I sighed and looked down.

I wish I knew.

"I think so," I said.

"You haven't talked to her?"

"No. She's gone. I don't know if I'll ever see her again."

"That sucks. You must've really cared about her if you were willing to die to save her."

"Yeah…"

I was still looking at the ground, pushing idly at the grass with my feet, swinging, drifting. Part of me still couldn't believe it. Never going to see Alice again. It wasn't the first time I had felt like this and it wasn't any easier than the first time she had left. But at least this time I had Victoria.

"You know, Sam's not going to hurt you," Jake said after a while. "Even if he knew you were here, he'd never hurt a human. You can stay in Forks if you want."

"What about Victoria?"

He didn't answer that. Because the answer was obvious.

"I'm not going to leave her, Jake," I told him gently.

He shook his head and now his own panic at losing me was beginning to show. "Why not?" he demanded. "Isn't this the same leech who was trying to kill you?"

"Yeah."

"Then why? How come you're suddenly friends?"

"We're not just friends."

"Then what are you?"

I gave him a look. He seemed to realize what it meant.

"I love her, Jake," I said.

His expression faded. His hands fell away from the chains of the swing. He looked down at the ground. I watched him, watching all his boyhood dreams of dating me shatter across his face, and I smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry," I said.

But he shook his head quickly, as if it was no big deal. I gave him a moment or two and then suddenly he chuckled.

"God, this is so fucked up," he said. "The whole time you were gone, I couldn't wait for you to come back. It was all I ever thought about. After everything that happened in Phoenix, I even thought…"

He blushed. I gave him a small smile.

"You thought we were gonna hook up?"

He blushed some more. "Yeah."

I chuckled and maybe even I blushed a little too. We always did have a strange chemistry, me and Jake. I had lost count of how many people had mistaken us for a couple. "Well," I said, "if it's any consolation, I would've hooked up with you ages ago if I was still into boys."

"Too late now though, huh?"

"Yeah. Victoria and I are going to go to England. We're going to just leave everything behind."

"Even me?"

"Everything."

He nodded and looked down. He was trying not to cry, the poor thing. I leaned over from my swing and wrapped a hug around him.

"I'm gonna miss you, Jake," I whispered to him.

"I'm gonna miss you too, Bells," he whispered back.

Then he just held me and I let him hold me, encased in that familiar warmth of his supernatural body temperature, and after a minute or two he finally let me go.

—

The next day was Sunday and it was the last day I would get to spend with my father. Victoria and I spent the morning watching cartoons on TV while he was out. When he finally came back, I waited until he was settled out in the garage, and then I went out to see him alone. The garage door was raised to let in the sunlight and he was sitting at a bench with a box of fishing tackle spread on a blanket before him. He seemed to be cleaning a reel or oiling it up with a rag and I approached with a certain shyness, as if I didn't want to disturb him.

"Hey, dad," I said.

"Oh," he said, finally noticing me there. "Hey, Bells. Just preparing the fishing equipment."

"Why are you doing it out here?"

"Habit, I guess. I used to do it in the house, but it made your mother mad. Funny thing is, I only used to do it inside so that I could spend time with her."

He chuckled at the irony. I only smiled. I guess that was typical of what I remembered of them when they were together. My dad trying to do something nice, my mother misunderstanding. She was much happier after she got divorced.

And now she was dead.

"I still miss her," I said.

"Your mom?"

"Yeah."

Charlie nodded and continued cleaning his reel. "You're gonna miss her for the rest of your life, Bells."

"Will you?"

He nodded again, still focusing on the reel. "Me and your mother had our differences, but she always was the love of my life."

"It's sad you got divorced."

"Well, I'm not saying it wasn't my fault. I was a very stubborn man in those days. I'm a lot different now. Sometimes I think that if your mother had met me now, as I am today, that maybe we never would've…"

He trailed off. Then he sighed and shrugged.

"Well," he said. "I missed her even before she died."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," I whispered to myself.

"What was that?"

"Oh, it's just something Alice said to me once. She said sometimes you never realize how much you love someone until they're gone."

"Yeah. I guess a lot of things are like that."

I nodded and we fell silent for a moment. He set aside his reel and took up another one. I leaned on the bench and watched him.

"So are you planning a fishing trip?" I asked.

"Yep. Next weekend. Going down there with Harry. You could come if you wanted."

"Next weekend?"

"Yeah. Saturday morning. What do you say?"

I smiled and nodded non-committally. I wasn't going to be here by then but now wasn't the time to say goodbye. I didn't know when would be.

"Well, maybe," I said. "We'll see."

"You could bring that girl with you if you wanted. I don't suppose she likes to fish?"

"Probably not."

"Yeah, I wouldn't think so."

I smiled and looked down. Then I looked at him again.

"Do you like her?" I asked.

The question caused him to stop cleaning the reel. My stomach knotted up as I waited for his answer. He shook his head, blowing out a breath, and went back to his reel.

"Well, Bells," he said. "Considering I know nothing about her aside from the fact that you showed up with her on my doorstep after being missing for a whole month doing god knows what, I'd have to say no. I don't like her very much at all."

I smiled sadly at that. I guess it was unfair to expect anything else. I suppose it was enough that he even let her into the house. That alone was—

"But I will say one thing," he added.

"Yeah?"

He chuckled to himself and gave me a sidelong smile. "She's definitely a looker," he said. "You did well in that department at least."

I burst out giggling and blushed beat red.

"Thanks, dad," I said, throwing my arms around him from behind. "I'm glad you don't hate me."

He jostled my forearm to return the hug. "Yeah, well," he said. "I'm just glad your home."

His words caused a glimmer of sadness as I continued to hold him while he continued about his tasks at the bench. It was so unfair that I had to leave him like this. In many ways, this was the closest me and my dad had ever been.

And the closest we ever would be, too.

That night I made dinner for him one final time, marinaded steak and vegetables. His favourite. Victoria claimed to be a vegetarian, which spared her from the steak, but she was still forced to eat the vegetables. She spent most of dinner watching me speak with my father, noting my sadness as I avoided the inevitable goodbye. We were supposed to leave tomorrow morning, but so far I hadn't even hinted as much to my father. I didn't know how.

When I went to bed that night, I was wearing nothing but my underwear as I waited anxiously for Victoria. She came to me at midnight and climbed into the bed and instantly I was trying to kiss her. I needed comfort so bad. Our lips finally connected in the dark and she seemed to anticipate my needs perfectly. She kissed me and stroked me and played with my breasts before slipping her hand into my panties. She caressed me there and slipped two fingers into my entrance and I did the same to her and we began to breathe and pant and whisper for each other to be quiet. It was the first time we had made love in over a week and we shared the same climax as we moaned and gasped and stroked each other into orgasm.

Afterwards I laid at her side and took a few minutes to get my breathing under control. She caressed me under the covers and whispered for me to be quiet or I'll wake up my dad. I swallowed with my dry mouth and then I got out of the bed to put some clothes on. Then I got back into the bed and cuddled up to her in exactly the same position I had left. At first she just continued to hold me but then she heard me sniff in the dark.

"Are you crying?" she asked.

"A little bit," I admitted. "I don't know why."

"It's okay. I do."

My head was laying on her shoulder and I turned my face into her chest and squeezed my eyes shut against all these awful feelings of guilt and shame. She held me and placed a kiss on my hair.

"I called my contacts in Seattle this afternoon," she whispered. "They have the passports ready."

"Then I guess we better leave."

"Tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah," I said, giving another little sniff. "I think I'll just write my dad a note while he's at work. I don't think I could bare saying goodbye to his face. He'd have so many questions. It'll probably be best if I just leave him a letter, saying that I'm going to be happy and that I love him very much and I hope he can trust me."

"I think that's a good idea."

"Yeah," I said, nodding to myself. Then I raised up a little and cupped her face in the blackness. "And after that, England."

I leaned and placed a kiss near her mouth.

"Just the two of us," I whispered.

Another kiss, closer to her lips.

"Happily ever after…"

Then I finally found her mouth and kissed it fully with a long moan. She returned it and enticed my tongue with her own and soon we were making love all over again.

Victoria stayed with me all night and she was still there in the morning. She kissed me good morning and I kissed her back and we giggled and had sex almost by accident and then we went for a shower together and had sex there as well. I guess we were both very eager to get started on our honeymoon in England. I was still sad about leaving my father, but last night had helped me come to terms with it. As unfair as it would be on him, it was inevitable. I was a grown woman, young as I was, and it was time for me to move on and begin a life of my own.

Charlie had obviously noticed the empty couch and when I came downstairs with Victoria at my side he seemed extremely disapproving that we had spent the night together. But he didn't say anything. He was standing by the coffeemaker and he had some letters in his hands from the mail. He held one of them up.

"There's a letter for you," he said.

I frowned puzzledly. "A letter?"

"Yeah, it's from Italy. You know anyone in Italy?"

I shook my head and took it from him. How weird.

Charlie frowned at Victoria, who was lingering safely behind me with a coy smile, and then he finished his coffee.

"Well, I gotta get to work," he said. "See you tonight."

He left and I felt another pang of sadness.

That was it.

That was the last time I was ever going to see him.

I felt like I should've called him back for at least a hug, but I could already hear the front door opening and closing. There was nothing left to do but write him a letter. Before I did that, though, I'd better deal with the letter in my hands. I looked down at it. It was from Italy, like my dad had said, and with a sinking feeling in my stomach I realized that I recognized the handwriting. I had seen it before in a Valentine's Day card and in my Biology notebook. It was very familiar to me.

"What is it?" Victoria asked, watching my expression.

I sighed heavily and looked at her.

"It's Edward's handwriting," I said.

She raised an eyebrow, almost curiously. But I wasn't curious. Just wearied. I shook my head and opened the envelope. How fucking ridiculous was this? A letter, today of all days. It was the last day I was ever going to spend in this house and it had arrived today. If it had been one day late, I never would've known about it.

I unfolded the letter and held it so that Victoria could read it too.

_Dear Bella,_

_As selfish of me as it is to announce my intentions, I feel I have no other choice. For these past few months, living without you has become a torture for me. A torture that I can no longer bare. As such, I've decided to end my suffering. Vampires are cursed with an unbreakable physical being, but here in Volterra they offer the service of ritual immolation, and I feel that such a ritual is the only thing that could possibly cleanse my soul of the agony of loving you._

_I'm sorry for the melodrama. It's not my intention to make you feel guilty. All I request is that you keep some small memory of me from when you did love me. And that you forgive me. I tried asking forgiveness from God, but an abomination such as myself has no right to. The only forgiveness I can dare to be worthy of is yours. The place you assign me in your heart will be the only afterlife I will ever know, and I can only hope you'll be generous with me._

_Farewell, my Bella._

_Yours in eternity, Edward. _

I almost laughed. I let my hands fall and then I did laugh. Bitterly, at what a ridiculous fucking drama-queen this man was. He needed help. Seriously.

Victoria didn't seem to think much of the letter either. She might've had a touch of pity for the author's over-the-top prose style, but she said nothing. She only looked at me to see what I would say. I looked at the letter again, as if to confirm it was actually real, and then I snorted and shook my head. What an idiot. What a fucking—

I shook my head again and looked up at Victoria.

"I can't let him do it," I said. "Not over me."

Victoria heaved a longsuffering sigh. "We're never going to be free of these godforsaken Cullens, are we?"

"I'm so sorry, Victoria."

Victoria gave me a little frown which was almost playful and then she took the letter from me and glanced it over again. "Volterra is in Italy," she said. "I had my heart set on England, but I suppose Europe will have to do."

She handed the letter back and I looked at her gratefully.

"Thank you, Victoria," I said.

"Yes, well. Fortunately, we already have passports and I know the exact place where they perform the ritual he is referring to. I'll go start packing while you write your own letter for your father. And then, after you talk some sense into this wretched imbecile Edward—assuming he's not dead already—we will move on to England as planned. Okay?"

I nodded, so pleased at her calm assertiveness. She smiled and placed a kiss on my lips and then she turned to go upstairs.

After she was gone, I leaned a hip on the kitchen table and looked at the letter again. I never thought Edward would do something like this. How long had we even been together? A couple months? Three? I had gotten over it ages ago. Why couldn't he? But then again, I guess I had no right to judge. In some ways, I think I even knew how he felt. I felt the same way about Alice. I didn't know if I would ever be getting over her or forgetting about her. If I never had Victoria, I might've been tempted toward the same solution as Edward. Sometimes the only way to stop the heart from hurting is to stop it from beating. Even now part of me couldn't forget about Alice. She was always there, deep in my heart. She was…

My thought trailed off as I realized that maybe my heart wasn't the only place Alice would be.

Maybe she would be in Volterra.

The thought gave me a strange surge. Alice could see the future and she had been keeping tabs on Edward ever since he disappeared. And there was no way she would let him do anything like this. She loved him like a brother. That's the whole reason she originally left me back then, because Edward wanted to go and she would do anything for her family. She couldn't possibly sit back and do nothing as he committed suicide. Which means she was likely on her way to Volterra right now. Just like me. We were both headed for the same destination and interception was all but inevitable.

The letter was trembling in my hands and I realized that I was shaking with excitement, dizziness, hope. I steadied myself and folded the letter closed again but there was nothing I could do to supress the fluttering in my chest.

I was going to see Alice again.

—


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: Before the chapter, I have to admit I'm very hazy on the Volterra/Volturi canon. I did check the wiki, but I'll be taking a few liberties to suit my particular style of storytelling, so I wanted to give you a heads up. ;)**

—

Chapter 23:

—

That night Victoria and I were on a plane to Milan. Victoria's unlimited funds had secured us a first class seats and all around us there were other first class passengers with sleepmasks over their eyes. A flight attendant had offered me one of the sleepmasks as well but I waved her away. I was too worried and upset to sleep. I had the letter in my lap and I was rereading it over and over, alternating between pity and anger that he would do this to me. And a bit hope as well. Hope that I would see Alice again.

"Do you think we're going to be too late?" I asked Victoria in a quiet whisper. "I mean, it has to have been days since he wrote this letter."

Victoria shook her head. "The ritual is performed on a full moon. We have several days before they begin."

"Thank god. Are you sure you know where they do this ritual?"

"Yes. It's in the catacombs under the city."

"Catacombs?"

Victoria sighed softly and turned to me to explain more about what she knew. "Volterra is the home of the Volturi," she said. "A very old coven of vampires. The most powerful and largest coven in the world. They are the closest thing vampires have to rulers."

I nodded, but I didn't like the sound of that. Vampires in general were very dangerous but vampire rulers sounded even worse. Victoria must've been thinking the same thing because she smiled at my expression.

"It won't be safe to bring you into contact with them," she said. "You'll have to count on me to somehow extract this ex-boyfriend of yours."

I nodded again and said:

"How will you do that?"

But she ignored the question and raised an amused eyebrow. "You mean you're not going to argue about me keeping you from danger?" she inquired playfully. "I would've thought you'd be all aquiver to go running into certain death again."

I blushed slightly and realized that she was right. I hadn't questioned her for a single second, I had just automatically accepted her protectiveness as the gesture of love that it was.

Although if it was Alice in trouble instead of Edward I might've felt a little different.

But I didn't want to bring that up so I just chuckled at her teasing.

"I've learnt my lesson," I said. "And more importantly, I trust you."

She smiled at that. She was wearing red lipstick and the fullness of her mouth gave me a quick flash of attraction. I smiled as well but tried to remain focused on the problem.

"But how are you going to get Edward out?" I asked.

She gave a sigh and a shrug. "I'll simply tell him that I've bought you with me and that you want to speak to him. If that's not enough for him, well, he can burn for all I care."

"You won't have to tell him, he'll read your mind."

"How lovely. Then I won't have to threaten to kill him if he behaves inappropriately toward you."

I smiled at her. She was in the window seat and I could see the clouds and the darkness racing across the glass. Her attitude was a touch cavalier, but I really appreciated her understanding, and I took one of her hands from her lap to hold it as I said:

"Thank you for this, Victoria."

She smiled at me with playful disapproval. "Yes, well. It does make me curious as to _why_ you even care about this cretin anymore. If you have any lingering feelings for him like you have for the fortune teller, perhaps I'd do better to let him die."

"Trust me, I got over Edward a long time ago," I assured her. "But at the same time, that doesn't just erase our entire relationship. He was saving my life repeatedly before I even met you. I owe him to at least try and return the favour. And besides all that, I don't want his death on my conscience. I just want him to move on like I have with you."

I gave her hand a squeeze. She snorted, pointedly noticing how I had avoided her mention of me having feelings for Alice. I realized that I was avoiding it too and I gave her hand another squeeze to set her at ease.

"And I don't have feelings for Alice," I said. "Not those kinds of feelings, anyway."

"Hm," she said, studying my face.

My smile began to fade. I thought she was just playing around, but she seemed to be slightly serious. Her hand was still in my lap, but she didn't take it away. She watched me, watching the downcast come over my face, and then she tilted her head.

"You're hoping she'll be there, aren't you?" she asked, not with anger or hurt, just curiosity. "You're hoping she'll foresee her brother's demise and come running to his rescue—just as you are."

I looked at her, my face hardening. "Edward isn't the only person who needs some sense talked into them," I said. "Alice needs to know that I forgive her and there's no need to just disappear from my life like this. I mean, all I want is her goddamn phone number so I can talk to her sometimes, that's all."

"Is that really all you want?"

I continued looking at her and I cupped her face to gaze directly into her eye.

"Yes," I said, yet even as I said it—

Victoria studied my expression for a minute and then she smiled and nodded. I gave her a kiss quickly and then we both settled back in our seats.

"I believe you," she said. "But what if friendship is not enough for her?"

I looked down at the letter in my lap and frowned at it. "It'll have to be," I said. "Just promise me that if you see her, you'll tell her to come see me. I still have to talk to her about Jasper as well. And if Jasper is there with her…"

I sighed and screwed up the letter suddenly.

If Jasper was with her, what then?

If Alice wasn't there, what then?

If Edward didn't want to talk to me, what then?

If something happened to Victoria…

I shook my head despondently. Just last night it seemed that me and Victoria were so close to going away forever, and now so many things were uncertain. The whole situation seemed to be snowballing and I was beginning to think none of it was worth the effort or risk. Maybe after we land we should just get on a different plane and—

Victoria touched my knee and shook it gently to get my attention. When I looked at her, she was smiling softly.

"I'll handle it," she said. "I know how you feel about Alice and Edward and about Jasper as well. Whatever happens, I'll act accordingly. I won't let you down. Okay?"

Her hand was still on my knee and I covered it with my own as I looked at her with tears of gratitude in my eyes.

"I really am sorry about all this, Victoria," I said. "I know none of this is your problem and I really appreciate how you're standing by me. You have no idea how much."

Victoria smiled at my words and then she wrapped an arm around my shoulders and drew me closer for me to lay my head on her cool shoulder. She began stroking my hair and caressing her fingers through it's shortness like animal fur and she spoke in a quiet whisper.

"You should try and get some sleep," she said. "It's a long flight."

I nodded on her shoulder. I could see the window in the wall of the plane, the darkness, the glazed reflection of my face, and then I closed my eyes.

It was midmorning by the time we arrived in Volterra by way of Milan, Pisa, Galileo Galilei. The car Victoria had stolen was a red convertible and we drove with the top down and the wind in her flaming hair. Yet as beautiful as she was, the view was almost better. The city lay cradled in a valley and as we came down from the hills I could see it spread below in a quiet collection of brick buildings and terracotta roofs that sat in the sun while the spires of the cathedral stood in stone silhouette against a crystal blue sky.

The wind was cool but it was beautiful day for the season. Victoria had donned a pair of large sunglasses as we entered but the sunlight sparkled across her face regardless, catching the eyes of tourists and citizens alike as she revved the car across the cobbled roads. I couldn't imagine what they must've thought of her. Some supermodel racing by with a special makeup derived of diamonds. I turned in my seat to smile and stare at her as she drove, but it made me a little sad that there was still so many problems for us to deal with. Not only Edward and Alice, but Jasper as well maybe. And James. James was still out there somewhere. He had vowed one day to come for me, but the last time Victoria and I spoke about it, she said she hoped he might let it go in deference to their past relationship. I had my doubts about that, but so far she had been right. James hadn't shown his face in a long time.

Finally we arrived at the hotel and Victoria turned the car over to the attendant, keeping to the shade to avoid closer scrutiny of her supernatural skin. The lobby was cool and cavernous, with marble floors that clicked and echoed under the heels off Victoria's boots as she strutted over to the front desk with all the swagger of a movie star on vacation. The concierge seemed very pleased to meet her, as I'm sure he was to meet all his guests, and Victoria spoke to him in Italian. They spoke for a long time, with a great deal of animation and expression, and from the few words that I could understand I realized she was trying to manoeuvre around the lack of a reservation. Eventually she wore him down and acquired us a suite.

The concierge himself carried our bags, only one apiece, and accompanied us to our room. It was on the top floor and the décor was quite Mediterranean. The floor was tile and the walls were solid stone. A bed with creamcolored covers stood against the wall beneath an oilpainting of the countryside and the windows were open in order to stir the pale curtains. The concierge gave us a tour and explained the features of the room in sing-song Italian. Victoria laughed at much of his discourse, charming as you please, and then she paid a few extra American dollars into his palm before he left.

I really liked the room. There was a bowl of fruit on the coffeetable and flowers in antique vases. A set of glass doors led out onto the balcony and I went out into the sunlight. There was no balustrade, only an ornate iron rail, and I put my hands on it as I looked out over the city. The tiled roofs were orange in the sunlight and dimly in the distance I heard a church bell toll.

Victoria came onto the balcony with me and wrapped her arms around me from behind before resting her chin on my shoulder.

"What do you think?" she asked.

All I could do was chuckle and say:

"Wow."

"Yes," she said. "Volterra is a popular tourist destination, although many of those tourists never return from the catacombs. Hunting is forbidden in Volterra to avoid drawing suspicion to the city, but the Volturi don't always follow their own rules. Tourists are easy prey, the silly things."

"So the Volturi are evil?"

"Most vampires are, yes."

"Will you be safe meeting with them?"

"I'll be fine. James and I spent many years with the Volturi before we came to America. I'm sure Aro will be pleased to see me again."

"With James?"

"Yes. James and I spent many happy years here once upon a time."

I cringed at that. She was only speaking conversationally, without a clue of how I was interpreting her words, but I couldn't pretend it didn't bother me.

I pried her arms away from my middle and turned to look at her.

"So killing people and running around with James was one of the happier times of your life?" I asked awkwardly.

She realized her mistake and hesitated before her next words. But no words came and I felt bad for making an issue about it.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I just…"

"It's alright," she said quickly, relieved that I wasn't upset. "I didn't mean to speak so carelessly. You have to remember that before I met you, I was…different."

I looked at her. She leaned a hip on the rail, stepping out of the shade, and looked over the sunbaked city with her sparkling face. The sun was beginning to go down beyond the hills in the west and the city was suffused in an orange flare.

"The truth is…part of me does miss that lifestyle," she said.

I didn't like to hear that but I gave her a chance to explain.

"It was much simpler," she said. "And easier. Life was purely about the hunt. And James. Before I met James, I was a mere shell of a woman. Bitter. Lonely. But after I met him, it felt like I had purpose. To be his. It was simple. And easy."

I watched her anxiously. It occurred to me that I'd never heard her talk like this before. About her feelings. I talked about mine all the time, about Alice, and Edward, and all the rest of the Cullens, but I had never given her a chance to talk about hers.

She was still looking out over the city, her expression thoughtful, and she went on.

"Then he was killed," she said. "And I was lost again. My life had no meaning. No purpose. In my sorrow, I decided to avenge him. And in avenging him, I seemed to have replaced him."

She turned to me, offering a smile, and she took my hands.

"Now you are the one that I live for," she said. "These feelings I have for you aren't as simple as the ones I had for James, but they are every bit as strong and ardent. It hasn't been easy for me to leave my past behind, but I have. For you."

I looked at her searchingly. The side of her face that faced the sun was sparkling with whiteness, and the other side, the side with the eyepatch, was enshadowed under the wall of the hotel, the two sides light and dark as if to reflect the inner dualities of which she spoke.

There was just one thing I had to know.

"Do you miss him?" I asked.

She didn't answer for a moment. Her eye looked away.

"Do you miss him the same way I miss Alice?"

Her eye swung back to me.

"No," she said. "Not like _that_."

I nodded, although I wasn't quite sure what her tone implied. Something accusatory in it, hurt maybe. I wanted to inquire more about it, but maybe I had said too much already.

In any case, it was stupid to have misgivings about our relationship after everything we had been through. We still hadn't been together very long, but we had proven ourselves over and over again. I loved her and she loved me. End of story. Simple as that.

But she just said it wasn't that simple, didn't she? She just said that—

"So are you going to be okay when you go see these Volturi?" I asked quickly, changing the subject. "I mean, they're not going to be pissed off when you take Edward away are they?"

Victoria seemed grateful for the subject change as well and she let go of my hands and sighed and turned back to the rail of the balcony. "Everything will be fine," she said. "It would be different if he had committed a crime and his sentence was execution, but if he's merely requested suicide, he ought to be free to change his mind."

"So nothing's going to happen to you?"

"I highly doubt it."

"Then are you sure it's too dangerous to bring me along as well?"

She shot me a smirk, as if she had been waiting for me to finally put up a fight on that. "Much too dangerous," she said. "The Volturi are very selective over which humans are allowed to know the existence of vampires. If they found out about our relationship, they would take it as an insult that I haven't killed or turned you yet. Frankly, I'm surprised they didn't outright kill your little boyfriend on those grounds. Aro has a unique method of interrogation and he must certainly know all about Edward's history with you. Perhaps they feel you're too insignificant to be concerned about. Either way, I'm not willing to bring you down there and deliver you directly to them."

I nodded, knowing she was right. Walking into an underground den of evil bloodthirsty vampires was a little too suicidal even for me.

"Just trust me," Victoria said, taking my hands again. "I'll meet with Aro, I'll request to see Edward, and after that the rest is up to him. But you must be prepared for the possibility that he doesn't want to come. If Edward chooses to remain there to burn, then that is what must happen. I don't intend to beg him."

I nodded at her. "I understand."

She smiled at my lack of resistance and then she placed a kiss on my lips. I received it with a swell of love for her and opened my eyes as she pulled away.

"Well," she said, cupping my cheek and gazing at me for these last few moments. "I suppose I better go. Even if I leave now, I probably won't get to see Aro till tonight. He likes to keep his guests waiting. Makes him feel powerful, I suppose."

"When will you be back?"

"Not for a day or two, I'm afraid. The Volturi hold a weeklong ball under the city leading up to the full moon and no doubt Aro will want me to attend. I only hope he has a dress for me to wear. I wouldn't want to show up looking like a peasant now, would I?"

I chuckled weakly at her joke, but this was beginning to feel very overwhelming. A ball now? I didn't want her to go to any ball. I knew nothing about how vampires partied, but a weeklong rave in a catacomb didn't strike me as the most wholesome environment. What if someone hit on her? What if she danced with someone? What if she—

But she must've read the jealousy in my eyes because she gave my face a soothing caress.

"Don't worry," she said. "I'll be on my best behaviour and I'll be back as soon as I can."

I nodded and chuckled again, doing my best to ignore the jealousy, and she leaned to give me another kiss.

"There won't be any cellphone reception in the catacombs, either," she added, "so I want you to stay in this room until I return. There shouldn't be any danger, but this is a city of vampires after all."

She was still cupping my cheek and I nodded against it.

"Okay," I said.

This time she actually laughed at my passiveness, as if it kind of turned her on a little. "Still no argument out of you, hm?" She smirked and touched her forehead to mine for a moment of intimacy. "I like this new obedience of yours," she whispered.

"It's not obedience," I told her. "It's trust."

Then I lifted slightly on my toes to press a kiss onto her mouth, something to remind her of how much I loved her while she was out partying. I did trust her, but I really didn't like the sound of this ball. She chuckled into it, a sound almost like a moan, and I deepened it with my tongue, weaving my hand into her hair.

A strange desperation was stealing over me, there on the balcony with the Italian sunset warm on one side of my face, and I didn't want to let her go. I wrapped my arms around her and pressed my chest into hers. I wanted to drag her back into the room and onto the bed and I wanted to be with her and only her and forget all about Edward and Alice and—

She chuckled again as she almost had to pry my mouth off of hers.

"I really have to go," she said.

Her breath was perfectly steady, but mine was panting as I nodded and stood back. She looked into my face, as if to see if something was wrong, and I forced myself to smile.

"Just be careful, okay?"

"I will," she said, and then she placed one last kiss on my lips.

I followed her back into the hotel and stood watching as she took some money out of her purse and left a small stack on the desk for food and whatever else I might need. She turned back at the door and smiled at me. I smiled at her as well. Then she winked with her yellow eye and closed the door.

I sighed and went back to the balcony. If I leaned over the edge, I could see the front of the hotel, and after a while I saw Victoria emerge from the revolving glassdoors and speak to the parking attendant. I smiled and wondered if she would look up and then she did. She saw me and smiled, a smile that made my heart flutter, and I waved at her as the car pulled up beside her. She got in and blew a kiss up to the balcony, like a knight bidding her maiden farewell before battle, and then she revved the car and roared out into the cobbled streets.

I watched the car until it was gone and then I sighed again. The sun had continued to set and by now there wasn't much sunlight coming into the room. The drapes were white and paper thin and they were fluttering in the breeze until I went back into the room and pulled the doors shut. After that I went and turned on the light and after that I just sat on the bed and wondered why I had a bad feeling about all this.

I guess it was normal to be worried. Victoria had seemed very confident, but there were still so many things that could go wrong. But it wasn't only anxiety, it was something else. I felt bad about my motives as well, because in the end, I didn't even care about Edward. Not if I was truly being honest with myself. The only reason I had come here was because Alice might come here too. I did care about Edward a little bit, I guess—enough that I didn't want his death on my conscience—but that hadn't been the real reason. All I really cared about was seeing Alice one more time. And when I thought about it like that, was it really okay for me to force all this on Victoria?

Sighing one more time, I swung my legs onto the bed and laid down. I felt very bossy and demanding. Like a bad girlfriend. I kept telling myself that all I wanted was for me and Alice to be friends again, but what if Victoria was right? What if friendship just wasn't enough for her? What if the right thing to do was simply accept her goodbye and let her go? Maybe that would be more fair on everyone involved. Alice. Victoria. Me.

But what about Jasper?

The thought of Jasper caused me to darken even further and yet it was these darker feelings that made me feel better. Because in the end, Jasper was the one and only justification I had to seek Alice. Even if friendship wasn't enough for her and we were doomed to eventually be separated forever, that didn't mean I could leave her with Jasper. Not if I could do something about it.

But that was the problem, wasn't it? Would could I really do? I had come here to Volterra, on the off-chance that Alice would come too, but even if she was down there in the catacombs, what then? With her visions, there was no way she would let me or Victoria find her if she didn't want us to. And she didn't. I was sure of that. The way she had told me goodbye back at that cave had a heartwrenching note of finality to it. That was when she had given up. When she had realized it was hopeless. She had succumbed to her hunger and she would've killed me if it wasn't for Victoria. She had tried so hard to resist, but she couldn't do it. Her love for me hadn't been strong enough. Or maybe it had been too strong.

Either way, she had to know that I forgave her. She had been _starving_, for god's sake. It wasn't her fault. Why didn't she understand that? Why couldn't she just—

I shook my head and got up from the bed. It was dark outside by now and all I was doing was running in circles. I needed to stop thinking about it and have faith in Victoria. Victoria would do all she could, and even if she didn't see Edward or Alice, it didn't matter. Because I still had Victoria and in the end Victoria was all I needed. I just hoped she didn't fall into any old habits while she was gone. I didn't like how she spoke so fondly of James and these Volturi, and I certainly didn't like how excited she was to go to this ball. I mean, who knows what kind of den of debauchery and temptation she was walking into. What if they offered her a human to feed from? One of those hapless tourist she had made fun of earlier? She promised she would be on her best behaviour, but what about peer pressure? I just hoped she would be able to politely refuse. I didn't want her to cause trouble or disrespect her hosts—considering how dangerous they were—but I did want her to come back with that same warm, loving, protective yellow eye that she had developed just for me. I didn't want that eye to be filled with evil and redness and—

But I needed to stop thinking about that too, so I grabbed some toothpaste and a toothbrush out of my travelbag and went into the bathroom.

While I showered, I realized that I was pretty hungry. I just hoped the hotel had someone who understood English. I'd try room service first, but if no one understood me, I guess I could go down to the dining room. Victoria had told me to stay in the suite, but the dining room wasn't far. I just hoped I'd fit the dress code. All I had packed was a couple casual outfits and a hoody. Victoria's clothes were much nicer than mine. Maybe I could borrow something of hers?

While I dried myself in the bathroom, my thoughts wandered back to Alice. Why did she have to make this so difficult? She was almost as bad as Edward. Two little drama-queens. Everything would be so much easier if Alice would just come see me herself. Was that possible? Maybe it was. After all, if she had seen Edward in trouble then she would've seen me and Victoria here too. She had never come to see me in Forks, but that area was infested with wolves. If she did want to see me, now was her chance. Now was her chance to…what? She had already told me goodbye. What else could she possibly have to say to me? Besides, Edward had always been her priority. Edward and Jasper and her whole stupid family. Despite all her speeches, she had always loved them more than she had loved me. If she was in Volterra it was to save Edward and take him home and that was all.

When I went back into the room, I was completely naked and I was still drying my hair with the towel. Maybe Edward had been right, way back when we first met. Back when he kept warning me to stay away from him. Vampires were dangerous. Everything about them was complicated. Maybe I never should've—

I froze in the middle of the room.

The balcony doors were open and the drapes were stirring in the wind.

But didn't I close those doors?

I frowned and began wrapping the towel around my body, cinching it around my breasts and tucking it closed. Was there someone in the room? Had Victoria come back? Or did I just forget whether or not I closed the doors? My heart began to beat strangely, but I told myself it was probably just Victoria. I crept over cautiously and pulled back one of the drapes and—

Dizziness washed over me.

It was Alice.

She was standing at the rail, looking up at the moon which was swathed by stars and almost full, and now she turned. I looked at her, my mouth open, my breath failing. I was stunned, not only at her presence here at all but at her outfit as well. She was wearing a tiny black dress, short enough to expose almost the entire length of her slim white legs, and on her feet were tall black heels that were opentoed to reveal the red nailpolish on her toenails. She wore a necklace with a diamond pendant that dangled in the nook of her delicately defined collarbone and her shoulders were bare and white, more luminous than the moon. Her face was adorned with makeup and earrings and her lips were covered in rich red lipstick and they moved into a smile when she saw me.

"Hey," she said.

My breath came back to me in a rush of dizziness and suddenly I lurched forward to throw my arms around her in a hug. Instantly the scent of her perfume assailed my senses and I quickly had to release her against the stabs of attraction that jabbed at my chest. I was wearing nothing but the towel and it was slipping and—

I hitched it back up again.

"Alice," I gasped, staring at her, at her dress. She looked like she had just come from a club somewhere, or—

A ball.

Had she been with the Volturi under the city? Had Victoria found her and sent her to come see me? I stared at her and said: "What are you doing here? Did Victoria send you?"

She had smiled at my greeting, a sad little smile, and now she shook her head gently. Her face was like a porcelain doll and her features were exquisite in the starlight.

"No," she said. "I saw her there, but I left without speaking to her. I had an awful vision and I had to come warn you right away."

"Is it about Edward?"

"No," she said. "It's not Edward."

I looked at her in confusion, my stomach beginning to knot up. She looked away, hesitating, her eyelids and eyelashes fluttering like moths with so much mascara and eyeshadow, and finally she turned back to me with a strained expression on her face.

"It's Victoria," she said.

My heart sank. No. No, Victoria said she was going to be fine. She said—

"What about her?" I asked in a voice that was brittle with fear.

Alice hesitated again. Her eyes were huge and sad and she seemed very conflicted. "James is with the Volturi now," she said. "He has been ever since he left Forks. Victoria saw him tonight for the first time in a long time, and later tonight they're going to…"

She trailed off, as if it was too terrible to say. A feeling of sickness rose up in my throat.

"Going to what?" I whispered.

She looked away and shuffled in her shoes and looked back at me and hesitated for a very long and painful moment.

"Reunite," she said.

—


	24. Chapter 24

**AN: This'll probably be the last chapter for a couple days, so happy holidays. :)**

—

Chapter 24:

—

It was that word she used.

_Reunite_.

It sounded like a euphemism, as if there was actually a much uglier word for it but she didn't want to say it. She watched me, standing there by the rail of the balcony in her little black dress, her small frame silhouetted against the stars. My stomach was turning at what she was implying, that Victoria and James, that they had—

"No," I said, shaking my head in denial. "No, you have to be wrong."

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"No!"

The scream came out of me short and chopped, and then I sobbed once. It was impossible. Victoria would never do this. She loved me. I knew she did.

And yet, isn't this exactly what I had been worried about all night? That she would slip and fall into old habits? I had been worried she might feed from a human, but I never thought that she would—with James? Oh god. Not him. No, she couldn't. She wouldn't.

I refused to believe it. Alice had been wrong before, lots of times, so I sniffed to regain my composure and looked at her.

"Tell me exactly what you saw," I said.

"I can't," she said with a pained look on her face.

"I need to know, Alice. What did you see?"

"You know what I saw, Bella."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"Alice, don't fuck with me," I said, getting angry. "Tell me now."

The tone of my voice took her off guard and her face darkened slightly. She seemed hurt that I would question her like this and her voice came out almost accusatory. "Fine," she said. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes."

"Then I saw him fucking her on all fours like a slut. Alright?"

The bluntness of her words seemed to knock the breath out of me. My body went cold. I was hoping she had seen something that could be misinterpreted. The same way she used to see me dying but never actually dead. But there was no way to misinterpret what she said. Victoria on all fours and James—

The mental picture almost made me gag.

Then it almost made me cry.

I shook it away and with my blurry eyes I saw a great regret come over Alice. Her face panicked and she stepped forward at my distress.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," she said. "I shouldn't have said it like that. I just get so angry at how she could do this to you."

"But she hasn't. She hasn't done it."

"Not yet. But she will."

She reached to touched me and I shrugged away, still holding the towel around my nakedness. "No," I said, hysteria beginning to rise inside me. "I have to stop her. I have to…"

I stumbled back into the room and slung my travel bag onto the bed to get some clothes. I had to get changed. I had to go stop her. I had to—

The zip on the bag wasn't working. It was stuck. My face crumpled in anguish and I jerked and tugged at the zipper and then suddenly I gave up and burst into tears.

I just couldn't believe it. How could Victoria do this to me? How could she even _think_ about doing this?

But what if she did? It was only a few hours ago when she had admitted that part of her missed the simplicity of her former life. And now she had bumped into it at a ball, embodied in the man she used to love. And why had she bumped into it? Because of me. Because I had sent her there to deal with my own problems. Her complicated feelings for me had led her directly back to the simplicity of her feelings for her former mate.

The irony was tearing me apart, and the hurt and humiliation was like a physical assault, choking my breath and punching the sobs out of my stomach. I had my face in my hands and I bawled into my palms and I just couldn't believe it, I couldn't, I just couldn't believe that she would—

Alice's hands appeared on my shoulders and guided me to sit on the edge of the bed. My legs were so weak that I almost fell down. But she steadied me and sat me down and then she sat beside me and gathered my head to the crook of her neck. I continued to cry, sobbing and heaving in her arms, and she whispered to me and stroked the skin of my back, her fingers cool and gentle.

It was her touch that calmed me down but not because it was soothing. It reminded me that I was wearing nothing but a towel and that I was naked underneath and maybe I shouldn't be letting her touch me like that even if I wasn't quite sure what was so inappropriate about it.

So I sniffed and drew back, wiping my eyes with my hands. She watched me, still touching one of my shoulders, and when my sniffs trailed off she spoke to me in a very concerned voice.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," she said. "But you needed to know."

I shook my head, swallowing back tears, and looked at her imploringly. "Are you positive, Alice? Are you truly sure?"

She nodded sadly. "I saw what I saw, Bella. They were in one of Aro's chambers. On a bed. Naked. There were dead bodies on the floor, maybe three or four. I can't remember exactly."

I swallowed again, trying to remain calm and figure out any holes in the vision. "Was she doing it of her own free will?" I asked. "Or was she being…"

But I trailed off as a great wave of sickness roiled up from my stomach.

I had been about to ask if she was being raped.

As if her being raped was better than her cheating on me.

Alice knew what I was going to say and continued to caress my soft and freshly showered shoulder. "She wasn't injured or restrained in any way," she said. "And I doubt the Volturi would allow that kind of aggressive behaviour among their guests. To judge from the expression on her face, it seemed she was…"

I whimpered and squeezed my eyes shut against the mental image.

Alice cut herself off and drew me back into a hug. "I know you don't want to believe it," she said. "But it's true. I saw them greet each other at the ball. Like long lost lovers. She was wearing a red dress and she smiled very brightly when he kissed her hand, as if she hadn't been aware of how much she missed him. I almost didn't need the vision to see where it would lead to. Her feelings for him may have been dormant for a long time, but without you there to distract her…"

"Stop," I sobbed. "Please."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

I started crying quietly onto her shoulder again. She held me and stroked me, rocking me gently. I let the tears come, hoping they would wash away the pain. I had never felt hurt like this in my life. It was like some monster had come along and clawed away my insides. I felt hollow in there. My stomach and chest, great gaping chasms where a cold wind blew against my spine.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Alice said softly, rocking me, stroking me. "I'm so sorry."

I sniffed and tightened my arms around her as if she was a liferaft and I was adrift at sea. Alice. Thank god she was here. She truly was my bestfriend. Despite her mistakes, she had come through at last and not let me down. If she hadn't had that vision, if I had been left to find out myself somehow…

The thought made me start weeping anew and I clutched at her even tighter. At that moment, she was the only thing holding me together. Alice. My bestfriend. She truly did care about me. It must've been hard for her, but she had come here right away as soon as she saw what was going to happen. And she didn't waste any time hugging me and greeting me, she had told me right away. Which was more than I had ever done for her. How long had I left her with Jasper without saying anything? Too long. And even now, I was too wrapped up in my own emotions to tell her. I just couldn't believe it. Victoria… Victoria, how could you…

But then I reminded myself that it hadn't happened yet and maybe I could stop it. It was false reassurance, since the betrayal was already there, waiting in the future, and nothing would ever change that, but I sniffed and struggled to pull myself together and unlatched myself from Alice.

"I have to stop her from doing it," I said, wiping my eyes with my fingers.

Alice looked at me sadly. "Would that really change it, Bella?"

I gestured helplessly with a hand and let it flop into my lap. "What else am I supposed to do, Alice?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

I sat there, holding back tears. Then I gave up and allowed myself to cry again. I lowered my face willingly to Alice's wet shoulder and her arms went back around to stroke my back, my shoulder, the exposed areas of my skin.

"You could let me take you home," she whispered. "Back to America. Or anywhere else."

My eyes opened against her shoulder and I didn't reply for a minute. Her hands continued to stroke me.

"I could take you anywhere you wanted," she went on in that same quiet voice. "I'll always be here for you."

I stopped crying and looked at her. I was a little confused at her suggestion, because how could I possibly leave? Victoria was my mate. I loved her. I didn't know if I could ever forgive her for what she was going to do, but I could stop her, and question her, and maybe all this was kind of my fault to begin with, and—

And what about Edward? Isn't he the reason we were all here?

"What about Edward?" I asked.

Alice shook her head and even smiled slightly. "I don't care about Edward," she said. "All I care about is you, Bella."

A strange feeling stole over me. Something wasn't right about all this. Like a bad dream when you know you're dreaming, but this was no dream.

Her hand was there on my shoulder. Caressing it. Her eyes were watching me and for the first time I realized that they were pink. Not yellow. As if there were still traces of my blood in her system. She was watching me, smiling, and the smile wasn't right either. Why would she smile about leaving her brother to die? That wasn't Alice. Alice loved her family, especially her brother Edward.

Yet right now her eyes were focused solely on me, as if nothing else in the world existed. Her hand was still at my shoulder and now I felt a wave of self-consciousness. I was still wearing nothing but a towel and suddenly I was very aware of how naked I was underneath. Maybe I should put some clothes on. Maybe…

Alice eyes flittered down to my lap and back up to my face and she was still smiling and caressing my shoulder. She must've read my expression as favourable because she went on as if she knew exactly what I wanted to hear.

"I left Jasper," she said, quietly, watching for my reaction. "I didn't even say goodbye. I knew you were going to be here in Volterra, and I…"

She chuckled once, awkwardly. Her eyes dipped, they raised to mine.

"I mean, I know I said I was going to leave you alone from now on, but…I'm so weak, Bella. I regreted telling you goodbye the moment you were out of sight. I almost went mad from how lonely I was without you. I was surrounded by family, and my husband, and yet it was like I didn't even know them. All I could think about was you. I think it was the taste of your blood that pushed me over the edge. I wanted to come see you in the hospital so bad, but there were so many wolves, and I was terrified you hated me, and…"

She shook her head, anxiousness crinkling her eyes. She blinked at me sadly.

"I saw you get on a plane and I knew where you were going," she said. "I had no choice but to come find you. I didn't come here for Edward, Bella. I came for you. I left behind Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme. Everyone. None of them even know where I went. I arrived here last night and I've been staying with the Volturi, waiting until Victoria left you alone. When I saw her at the party, that's when I had the vision. I didn't want to come to you with such bad news, but you deserved to know. I've had a vision of this moment as well. Here, in this hotel room. That's how I knew where to find you."

I listened to all that with a feeling I wasn't quite sure about. She had admitted to having a vision about me with a shy little smile and I said:

"What did you see?"

She raised her eyes to mine. One of her hands was still on my shoulder and now she placed the other gently in my lap.

On my naked thigh.

We both looked at it, there on my skin, and our eyes lifted at the same time.

"I saw me…comforting you," she said.

I was beginning to breathe heavily and I still didn't know how I felt about any of this. Her hand moved on my thigh, a subtle caress that sent a shockwave of tingles across the nakedness under my towel. She smiled and looked into my eyes.

"I know I've let you down so many times, Bella," she said. "But give me one more chance. Just one more chance and I swear I'll never let you down again. I promise."

Her mouth was coming toward mine and I sat there rigidly until—

She kissed me.

Her lips were like ice and my eyes didn't close. My heart was beginning to panic. What the fuck was going on here? Was this supposed to be happening? Was it right? Victoria had cheated on me, and Alice was here, and Alice loved me, and Alice—

She was applying more pressure to the kiss and forcing me backwards.

"Just let me love you, Bella," she whispered into my mouth, kissing me, cupping my face. "I'll take you away somewhere where no one will find us. Just me and you. I've always been the one you truly loved. Right?"

My mouth was covered with hers and I couldn't answer.

But was it true? Was Alice the one I really loved the whole time? Sometimes it had felt like it. My feelings for her had never gone away. Never truly changed. Some small corner of my heart had always belonged to her. Could it be possible that my relationship with Victoria had never been true love? That it was nothing but that insatiable hunger that we felt for one another?

No, that was impossible. Victoria loved me. Victoria—

_Cheated on me._

Suddenly I went limp, giving up, allowing my jaw to drop open and her tongue to enter like a cold eel while tears of hurt and confusion leaked from my eyes. I didn't care anymore. Alice could do whatever she wanted to me. Everything hurt so much. I just wanted it to be better. I wanted the hurt to go away. How could Victoria do this to me? How could—?

Alice moaned and started to become aggressive. The kiss had drove me backwards on the bed until I was against the headboard. The towel had come loose and slipped away and now I was naked. My legs were open and Alice was between them, rubbing herself into me, rubbing the fabric of her dress into my bare skin, and tiny whimpers of eagerness and desperation were coming out of her as her tongue searched the inside of my mouth. I hadn't returned the kiss for even a moment but she didn't seem to notice.

My breasts were in her hands and suddenly she kneaded them roughly, pressing them into my chest and squeezing them and whimpering again from how bad she wanted me before she suddenly abandoned my mouth and latched her lips to one of my nipples. It wasn't hard, but she licked at it and sucked on it till it became erect and then she sucked on it some more, moaning, moving on to the other. She licked my tits for a long time and I watched her almost disinterestedly, as if those weren't even my breasts.

A bitter throb had begun between my thighs and I was a little bit wet down there. When her tongue finally lapped across my entrance, I winced and cringed and hissed in a breath and hissed again as she continued to lick. She was practically growling into my vagina as she consumed my welling arousal and there was nothing I could do but lay there with my legs open and tears in my eyes until finally the orgasm swept over my body like a shadow that left me shaking and shivering and sobbing from the icy intensity of it.

I rolled over and closed my legs, shrivelling up in shame. What had I done? What—?

Alice rolled me back over and started kissing my mouth again. I hadn't even stopped panting. Her desperation filled me with pity and I couldn't bring myself to either resist or respond. I just laid there passively while her hands began to grope the soft places of my body. Was this what she had seen in her vision? Was this how she was supposed to comfort me? It didn't feel like comfort. It felt wrong. This wasn't Alice. Alice wasn't like this.

Her mouth left mine and now she was back at my breasts, whimpering at them as she licked at sucked at my nipples, and then she left them as well and covered my vagina with her mouth, still whimpering, small little sounds of desperation and sadness, as if she was aware this was wrong too and she just didn't care. She bought me to another climax, just as cold and bitter as the one before it and by now her own lust seemed to have overwhelmed her. She rose from my between my thighs, eyes dilated, lipstick smeared, and she pulled off her dress like a t-shirt, in one smooth motion by grabbing the hem and lifting it up over her tummy and breasts and over her head before tossing it aside to the floor.

Underneath she wore no bra and her breasts were the color of pearl and small and round. She didn't speak, she didn't seem to be able to. She only grabbed one of my lags and mounted the other and began to rub her black lace panties against my kneecap while hugging the other leg to her body. She rubbed and rubbed and she kissed the ankle of the leg she was holding and licked along my calf and kissed the soft flesh there and bit the skin, not hard, just small nips of desperation. She was watching me with her dilated eyes and her mouth open, watching me lay there loose in my skin like something dead, watching my breasts wobble on my chest, and then suddenly she flung away my leg and flipped me over and began rubbing her crotch on my buttocks instead. Her pussy had soaked through her panties and her moisture left streaks of cold all over my skin. She rubbed against my ass for a while and then she moved up to my back and rubbed there as well and then she flipped back over and rubbed against my tits, holding the mounds of them together with her hands and gasping in lust every time the hot pebble of my nipple flicked against her engorged clit.

Finally she ripped her panties off her own body and mounted my face, the same way Victoria had done during our first time. Like Victoria, Alice seemed to be marking me, staining me, spreading her scent all over me. But unlike Victoria, it didn't feel right. It felt desperate. The wetness of her pussy washed up against my mouth and my mouth opened automatically. Her taste was cold and tangier than Victoria. My tongue came out to lick her and she almost broke my nose from how she bucked down eagerly. A loud groan came out of her and she continued to rub her entrance against my mouth until the rubbing grew so fast and fierce that it felt like something attacking my face, something cold and wet and toothless snarling at me soundlessly in the darkness of my closed eyes.

Finally her thighs clenched and she bucked my head into the pillow as her body squatted down and arched and climaxed. Cold fluid gushed over my face and she continued to rub for a few minutes until her whimpers died down.

When she finally dismounted, there wasn't a single thought in my head. I was blank. I rolled away from her and wiped my face with the sheet. But only seconds later she rolled me back and straddled my hips and lay flat across my body, our breasts mashed together, with her face hovering just above mine. There was a smile on it and her eyes were lidded with a look of dreamy completion.

"Mmm," she said, placing a kiss on my lips, then another, then more, speaking while she kissed. "I love you, Bella. I love you so much. I'm so sorry it took me so long to realize. But it's okay. Because now we can be together forever. Where do you want to go, hm? We can jump in a car and drive anywhere in Europe you want. Or we could get in a plane. Maybe you'd like somewhere in Asia? Asia can be very beautiful."

She was still kissing my face and now I turned away.

"I'm not going anywhere," I said.

She froze. She stared at me.

"What do you mean?" she asked brittlely.

But suddenly I was so disgusted at her behaviour that I couldn't even look at her. She was still laying flat across me and now I began to push her off.

She rolled off me, reluctantly, and watched as I got out of the bed and fetched up my travelbag from where it had been knocked onto the floor and slung it onto the desk. This time I opened the zip without fumbling. The orgasms I'd shared with Alice seemed to have obliterated all my confusion and indecision and now I knew exactly what I had to do.

Alice sat up in the bed, naked, watching me with hurt-filled eye as I got some clothes out of the bag.

"Bella," she said. "What are you doing?"

I shot her a glance. "Edward's still planning to kill himself, Alice," I said. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

That took her aback and she quickly stuttered some excuse. "But that's his decision. And I know how he feels. I would rather die than live without you too."

I had my back to her as I stepped into some jeans and I didn't look at her. Her words were beginning to sound very obsessive and stalkerish.

"Bella, please," she said, panic creeping into her voice. "Can't we just go?"

I pulled a shirt on and turned to tell her the truth.

"No," I said. "I'm not leaving Victoria."

Her mouth fell open. It was smeared with red lipstick and sitting there in the bed with her naked breasts exposed she seemed very sad and lonely.

"But why?" she whispered. "She's going to—"

"I know what she's going to do, Alice," I said, cutting her off. "But that doesn't mean I'm willing to just quit on our whole relationship. I owe her a chance to explain herself."

"What's there to explain? She's a whore."

"She's not a whore, Alice."

"Yes, she is. She cheated on you."

"No, she hasn't. Not yet. I can still stop her, and even if she does cheat on me, so fucking what? We can work it out. I _know _her, Alice, and I know how much she loves me, and—"

"_No_!"

I jumped slightly, completely taken aback by her scream. She sobbed in anger and bashed the mattress with a balled fist and then bashed it again, each time triggering a sob and a bounce of her breasts.

"She cheated on you, Bella! I saw it! And you want to forgive her?! _Why_?!"

I was utterly stunned at her outburst. Because it wasn't anger. It was fear. Panic. Desperation. She was sitting in the bed with her small face wracked in anxiety and her voice came out as if it was on the edge of breaking entirely.

"I came here for you, Bella," she said. "I'm the one you're supposed to be with. Me. Not her. _Me_."

She pointed at her naked chest. At her heart. I didn't know what to say, but by now I was certain there was something seriously wrong with her. Something was going on that I didn't know about. Something that made her desperate to take me away with her.

Something that might not take no for an answer.

Alice had been waiting for me to say something but she didn't let the silence stretch too far. She sniffed and forced a smile and struggled mightily to regain her composure.

"Please," she said. "Just…just take off your clothes and come back to bed. Okay? We can talk about it. It'll be alright."

I shook my head and tried to be as gentle as possible. "Now isn't the time, Alice."

"Yes, it is," she said, her face hardening through the sorrow. "Now is the only time. Please, Bella. Come here."

She tilted her head to try and attract me and now she reached with a hand. I was half way across the room but she was reaching anyway.

"It's okay," she said. "I won't hurt you."

"Alice…"

"Come here," she whispered, reaching. "Let me touch you."

Now I was beginning to be afraid. She was sitting there in the bed, naked, reaching with one hand, and she didn't look anxious anymore so much as creepy and unstable. Together with her pink eyes, a reminder that my blood was still in her system, she even looked dangerous.

But there was something about her desperation that was so vulnerable, so weak and transparent, that I felt a swell of pity for her as well and it was this pity that won out. Alice was my best friend and there was something seriously wrong with her. I had to figure out what.

So I moved toward the bed and the relief that spread over her face looked almost euphoric. I let her take my hand and guide me on to the bed.

"Alice," I said. "What's wrong?"

She was taking off my top and her voice came out in a husky hiss of eagerness as her eyes raked over my exposed breasts.

"Nothing," she said. "Nothing's wrong. It's just…"

"Just what?"

"I had another vision I need to tell you about. But first, just let me…"

Now she unbuttoning my jeans. I let her do it and I lifted my hips so that she could pull them off together with my panties. She threw all the clothes over the side of the bed and then she grinned and urged me under the covers. The feeling of wrongness in my chest was at its peak, but it was different now. Before it felt like shame. Now it felt like a warning.

But I did what she wanted, shuffling over to get under the covers. She did as well and then she pulled the covers over us and giggled and cuddled up to me.

"What vision, Alice?" I asked her.

She almost seemed to have forgotten she mentioned it and now she paused to collected her thoughts. "It's a very bad one," she said. "I should've told you before, but I didn't want to scare you."

"Tell me what?"

"Now that Victoria and James are back together, they're going to come for you again. I saw them. Victoria is going to try and lure you back to him. So if you don't leave with me, you're never going to get out of Volterra alive."

I listened to all that and purposefully withheld even a ripple of expression from my face. Alice was studying me, studying my eyes, and we were both leaning on our elbows in the bed.

"Victoria would never hurt me," I said tentatively.

Alice's eyes flared and she quickly managed to smother her temper. "She will, Bella," she said. "You have to trust me, okay? I saw it."

I continued watching her eyes. "You've been wrong about her before, Alice. You've been wrong about her every single time."

Again they flared and again she managed to smother her temper—only this time it took much more effort. "I'm not wrong this time, Bella" she said. "This time I actually saw you dead. All torn up. Victoria isn't even the one who did it. It's James. She's going to let him do it."

It occurred to me that it sounded like she was making up this vision as she went along.

Then my heart stopped.

No. No, Alice would never…she would never lie about…

My eyes filled with tears but I tried my hardest not to let any of my thoughts show on my face. Alice watched me, her eyes flickering over my face like a lizard's tongue, and she seemed to think I required more explanation.

"It's very confusing," she said. "Just fragments of visions that I put together. But the important thing is to keep you away from her. Forever. So that's why we have to leave."

I swallowed a great lump of despair in my throat. "Maybe you're right."

Her reaction was exactly what I expected. Blind joy. Her eyes lit up and she smiled, but then she forced it all back as part of her realized it wasn't quite appropriate.

"So we can leave?" she asked. "Just me and you?"

"Sure, Alice."

She squealed and I gave her a weak smile.

"But why did you take off my clothes?"

"Because I want you so fucking much," she said, and then she grabbed my head and pulled me into a kiss.

I didn't resist. I didn't want her to know I thought anything was wrong. I received her tongue in my mouth, her cold, slimy, lying little tongue, and then I just lay there as her mouth went lower, staring at the ceiling and trying not to cry as she moaned and licked between my legs. She licked the entire area and she inserted her tongue inside me and she sucked at my clit and poked some fingers into my vagina and she giggled and kissed and licked at me, revelling as she devoured my most intimate area, until at last I succumbed to a bleak orgasm.

I turned away, shivering and sweating, my eyes shut against the tears in them. Alice began kissing and stroking my shoulder.

"Did you like that, Bella?" she asked in a whisper. "Could you feel how much I love you?"

I nodded with my eyes squeezed shut in anguish. "Yes," I said. "I felt everything."

She chuckled and continued to kiss my skin gently. I opened my eyes and looked at her sadly and cupped her face.

"Come here," I said. "Let me show you too."

Then I pulled her down into a kiss.

At first I just kissed her with her on top of me, surprised at how easy it was given how wrong it felt. The covers had slipped down to our feet and our legs were tangled and I was stroking her back and idly marvelling how much slimmer and smaller she was than Victoria. Like a completely different person. A stranger. Unfamiliar. I kissed her and stroked her thigh and grabbed her ass and she giggled as I squeezed it and then I rolled her onto her back and began playing with her tits, keeping my face down so she wouldn't see my dead expression. Her chest was almost flat, but she had nipples to suck, so I sucked them and made her moan, and then I went down further between her legs.

A dull loathing began brooding in my stomach as the scent of her lust filled my head but I ignored it as I lowered my mouth to her moist entrance. I licked at her wetness, licking again and again, letting her arousal coat my tongue before I swallowed it down and licked some more. She was moaning and her back was arched and she had both of her hands clenched in my short hair as if holding me there and forcing me to do it. I licked her and kissed her and nibbled at her clit, my head as empty of thought as my heart was of emotion, and after a while her body began to heave. She had been talking to me the whole time, encouraging me and telling me how much she loved me, and now her voice was high and breathless.

"Oh god. Oh god, Bella. I've wanted us to be like this for so long. Please, keep going. Don't stop. Oh god. Oh god. _Ohhhh_—!"

Her body arched as if an electric current went through it and her scream went silent. I continued licking blandly and after a while she sank down with a gasp and began petting my head.

"That was amazing," she wheezed. "That was amazing. Thank you. I love you, Bella. I love you so much."

I took that as permission to stop licking, so I did, and I raised up and gave her a strained smile. "I love you too."

She giggled happily and beckoned me forward and I crawled on top of her as she pulled me into a kiss. Her legs went around me, like a hug, and after a while she released me. I sank down at her side, not moving to cuddle her, and said:

"When do we leave?"

Alice giggled again, almost a sob of joy. "Um, now, I guess," she said. "We can leave right now. Where do you want to go?"

"You decide."

"Well, why don't we just start driving and see where we end up?"

"Okay. Do you have a car?"

"No, but I can get one."

Finally I felt something inside me. A tiny flicker of hope. But I kept it out of my face and nodded.

"Okay," I said. "I'll wait here."

Alarm flittered across her face. "Oh, are you sure? Maybe you should stay with me. I mean, what if Victoria and James come for you?"

"She hasn't even cheated on me yet, Alice."

More alarm fluttered over her features but she brushed it off with a chuckle. "Oh yeah, I got a bit confused. I'm just so worried about you. Still, it's a dangerous city. Maybe you should just come with me, okay?"

She reached for me but I shook my head and rolled onto my back.

"I'm not a vampire like you, Alice," I said. "I'm exhausted. Just go get a car and let me rest for a little bit, alright?"

I had put a forearm over my eyes and I wasn't even looking at her. The sheets came up to my waist and my breasts were exposed and my heart was racing underneath them. What if she didn't buy it? What if—?

"Okay," she said after a silence. "I'm sorry. And as soon as we settle somewhere, I'll turn you into a vampire first thing. That's a promise. And then we can make love for the rest of our lives."

I still didn't look at her but she moved the forearm away from my face and climbed on top of me to give me another round of kisses.

Once she done, she finally got off me and hopped off the bed. She picked up her panties from the ground but they were just a broken scrap of lace and she giggled and threw them away. She still had her jewellery on, her necklace, her bracelets, and her naked body was utterly perfect. I watched her, propped on an elbow, hoping she really was gonna go. She was zipping up her dress and now she took up her shoes and slipped them on and then she smiled at me in the bed.

"Don't worry, I'll be back as fast as I can," she said. "Are you sure you don't want to come?"

I shook my head tiredly. "I'll be fine."

She had her shoes on by now and she scampered back over the bed to give me another kiss. Then she held my face and gazed into my eyes.

"I love you, Bella," she said. "I really do."

And the worst thing was that she really did. I could see it in her eyes. Back in Forks, she had left me when Edward dumped me. In Alaska, she had taken me on a date before telling me she'd rather stay with Jasper. I had never believed that she truly loved me, but maybe she always did. And after letting me slip through her fingers so many times, this is what her feelings had become.

I smiled at her weakly and blinked back tears.

"I love you too, Alice," I said.

She giggled again and kissed me one more time and then she hopped off the bed and went to the door. She winked at me from the doorway, just as Victoria had done earlier that day, and then she was gone.

For a while I just laid there staring at the ceiling.

Then I got up and got dressed.

The first thing I did was call Victoria on my cellphone, but she didn't answer. No reception in the catacombs, just like she said. I stuck the phone in my pocket and took a step and stumbled unexpectedly. I swayed there for a second against the dizziness, eyes squeezed shut, pinching the bridge of my nose. My entire world was spinning away from me and it was difficult to even stand in it. But eventually I managed to steady myself and then I grabbed the cash off the desk and headed out of the room. I didn't know what was going on, all I knew was that Victoria was the only one who could give me the answers I needed.

I took the elevator downstairs and moved through the lobby cautiously, in case Alice was still around. But she wasn't and then I was out in the streets. It was a bright night, with that huge moon in the sky, and the air was cool. The streetlamps glowed a dull orange and most of the streets were empty aside from the occasional small foreign car. I walked fast and turned down different streets aimlessly, looking for anything that resembled the entrance to a catacomb. I passed a group of people at a bus stop and I tried to ask them if they knew where the catacombs were, but none spoke English. I went on, digging my phone out to try and look it up on the internet. But I didn't even know the name of the catacomb and I couldn't find anything. I went on, hurrying with my hands in my pockets, shaking my head at how hopeless it all was. Behind me was Alice, who was acting strange, unstable, desperate, and wanted to take me away forever. And in front of me was Victoria, who was currently in the company of her former mate and a coven of vampire royalty who could possibly kill me on sight.

I sniffed back tears in the cold air and continued on. Up ahead there was a short tunnel with a small bridge that spanned overhead. The tunnel was dark and in the darkness there were two people, a man and a woman. The man was wearing a black silk shirt and the woman was in a purple dress. Otherwise the streets were utterly deserted.

They seemed to be making out together, like a couple on their honeymoon, and they stopped as I approached. I was going to just walk on past but the man liked what he saw and swung away from his date to smirk at me.

"_Ciao, bella_," he purred.

I froze. It was dark in the tunnel but his eyes were a deep burgundy. The woman gave me a glare at how I had distracted her man and her eyes were dark burgundy as well. Both of them were pale and their features unearthly.

"How did you know my name?" I asked the man who spoke to me. "Are you Volturi?"

Now it was them who froze. They glanced at each other and then turned back to me with smiles that were slightly sinister before speaking in English.

"Bella means beautiful in Italian," the man said.

"And yes," the woman added. "We are Volturi."

—


	25. Chapter 25

**AN: Wow, it feels like forever since I updated last, doesn't it? I've been itching to update for days, but these holidays, lol. Can't wait till it's all over. ****But yeah, Alice took a bit of a dark turn in the last chapter. I had tried earlier to make her more sympathetic, but most people didn't go for it, so I let her character progress this way instead. For now, at least. In the context of a soapy vampire drama, I think it's a fairly natural progression. Back in the early chapters Alice was so supremely confident that she actually told Bella to wait around as a second choice, no care in the world. But now she's realizing how much Bella really means to her and how she might've already lost her forever. So it's kind of like a comeuppance for her arrogance, to falter and spiral out of control like that. I don't believe she's beyond redeeming, though. We'll have to see. :)**

—

Chapter 24:

—

The two vampires bought me down into the catacombs and already I could hear the dim throb of dancemusic from the halls beyond. At first we were walking in utter blackness, me completely sightless, my escorts each leading me by an arm. My heart was racing, but I wasn't afraid. Too much of my life was falling apart for me to be afraid of simple darkness or death.

Eventually there were lights up ahead along with the music. The lights were wallsconces of live flame, things you might find in a medieval dungeon, and now I could see that the walls of the corridor were lined with stone tombs that contained whole skeletons, the skulls and bones yellowed with age, spiders nesting in the eyesockets, enormous rats squeaking away at our footsteps. My skin crawled at all the filth and bugs but as we continued down the hall the area became cleaner. Eventually we were walking on a red carpet with gold embroidery that had been laid out on the stones, frayed and dirty at the beginning and slowly clearing to a rich crimson in the orange glow of the wall lamps.

The carpet led to a polished darkwood door with gold hinges that opened into a stone room which looked like an underground parlour. There was a fire in a fireplace, some furniture—scarlet colored sofas and settees—and oilpaintings on the walls. There were no bugs in this room and not even a speck of dust.

The two vampires who had bought me here conferred with themselves in inaudible whispers, glancing at me, and then the woman left me with the man while she turned and sauntered in her purple dress out through a different door. I could still hear the dance music in the background, dim and throbbing, and the man was watching me with his wrists crossed like a security guard, silent, smiling, waiting. I didn't know what he was waiting for, but I didn't have to wait long.

The woman never returned, and instead a set of ornate doubledoors flew open and in entered a man who wore long black robes that fluttered with a flourish behind him. The robes were adorned with gold trim and gold tassels and the lining was bright and red. He entered and smiled with certain flamboyance, like a host or a king come to greet a particular guest, and he was using a handkerchief to dab at a speck of blood in the corner of his mouth, left there from whoever he had been feeding from before my arrival. I tried not to think about all the people who were losing their lives down here and I tried not to show any fear. He smiled at me and tucked his handkerchief away somewhere among his costume and clapped his hands together in delight. His hair was long and black, his face was pale as paper.

"Well, well, well," he said, "you must be the stray they've been telling me about. And my, you do smell delicious. Tell me, my lady, how did you…"

But he trailed off when he got a closer look at my face. He seemed to recognize me and his smile and his delight grew.

"Ah, you must be the dear Isabella that Edward thinks so fondly of, yes?"

I frowned at him. I didn't think Edward would speak so freely of me, especially not to a these people who might want to kill me for being aware of their existence. "How did you know?"

"Actually, I have a special power. Sort of like a party trick. Not dissimilar to Edward's, in fact, only more powerful. My name is Aro, by the way, I'll be your host for whatever remains of your evening."

He squared his heels with a click and gave a bow. I regarded him strangely. There was something foppish about his manner that made him seem more like a man pretending to be a vampire ruler in a stageplay than an actual vampire ruler. But his eyes were sharp and keen and blood red and something in his smile urged me to take him very seriously.

"You can read minds?" I asked.

"Yes, only not telepathically like young master Cullen. My gift requires a touch. One touch of the hand and I can read every thought a person's ever had."

He extended his hand. It was fine and white and almost translucently pale, emerging from the cavernous sleeve of his robes like a ghost hand.

I frowned at it and didn't take it. If he could read minds like Edward—all of a person's mind—what would he see in mine? Victoria would be there and all my feelings for her and the fact that she had never killed me or turned me which—

The man in the robes gestured with his hand and smiled patiently. "Would you mind? It would be the simplest and most effective way of finding out exactly what you're doing here and how much you know."

"I'm looking for someone," I said, still not taking it. I was hoping I could simply talk about it and limit how much I told him, but his smile curved into a smirk and I knew I wouldn't be able to refuse a second time.

"Take my hand and we'll find out who," he said.

I still hesitated. If he saw anything that caused them to hurt Victoria, I would never forgive myself. The orange firelight washed against the man's candlecolored skin and he beckoned with his fingers.

"Take my hand, Ms Swan," he said. "If it makes it easier, you don't have any choice."

I knew he was right and I decided to do it. At the very least, he seemed like a friendly evil vampire. Maybe it would be safe.

So I reached slowly and placed my hand in his. His fingers were ice cold, like all vampires, and they held me loosely. I looked at his face, watching to see if his expression changed from what he saw inside me.

What I saw didn't seem encouraging. His smile had already slipped away and now his brows were beginning to knit slightly. Not as if he was angry. But maybe as if he was having trouble seeing. His crimson eyes lowered to our clasped hands and his fingers tightened slightly. He stared at them for a moment and then he looked at my face. An odd expression passed over his features, a strange smile, and then he let go of my hand.

What had he saw?

Thankfully, it was nothing that enraged him. He even seemed slightly amused and maybe a little puzzled. The vampire who'd escorted me into the catacombs was still standing by like a bodyguard and the vampire named Aro glanced at him before turning back to me.

"And who is it you were going to say you were looking for?" he asked. "In your own words."

It seemed like an odd question, but I figured maybe he was trying to figure out if I had been going to lie. Part of me wanted to claim I was here to see Edward, to avoid mentioning Victoria's name at all, but I knew he had seen exactly what I was doing here.

"Victoria," I said.

"Hmm," he murmured thoughtfully. Then he turned to the other vampire and said, "Fetch Victoria and bring her here."

The vampire nodded wordlessly and left through a door in the side wall.

Then I was alone with Aro. I had no idea how highly this guy ranked in the Volturi, but Victoria spoke of him like a leader. He had his hands laced behind his back and he was watching me curiously. I guess he had seen something interesting in my mind. Sex with other girls. Free porno.

I looked around the room, a corner of my mind already planning an escape if that's what it came to. My eyes landed on the fire place and I took comfort from it. I had experience using fire as a weapon and I could picture myself grabbing one of those burning logs out of the blaze and clobbering this creepy vampire king over the head with it if I had to. Of course, it would probably be suicide, but just the thought of fighting was more comforting than plain fear and helplessness.

I turned back to my host. He smiled with thin white lips. Like an albino. He seemed to be forming his words in his mind and after a moment he spoke.

"I must admit to being slightly perplexed," he said. "The truth is—which I didn't want my follower to know about—is that I couldn't read your mind at all."

That surprised me.

Then I realized it really shouldn't.

"Edward couldn't either," I said, not only to him, but to myself too.

He smiled and tilted his head to regard me, almost in admiration. "It seems perhaps you might have a gift of your own," he said.

His words stirred something inside me. That had never even occurred to me, but I guess it made sense. Edward and Alice both claimed to have traces of their powers as humans before the transformation to vampires intensified them.

"You think so?" I asked.

"Yes, a very special one to be so powerful as a mere human," he said. "Actually, it reminds me of Victoria's particular gift. A certain survival mechanism."

I snorted a chuckle at that. "I've always been good at surviving."

"Well, we'll see if you can still say that after tonight."

My smile faded. His own grew. I wasn't exactly sure what he meant, but I got the feeling he was just reminding me that I was in danger. It didn't feel like a direct threat.

At least I hoped not.

We didn't speak again until Victoria arrived. The other vampire was with her and he hadn't seemed to have told her I was here, because when she saw me there, down here in the catacombs, in the presence of Aro, she actually froze for a moment. But only a moment before continuing into the room, forcing herself into a casual air as if she had no idea who I was or why she was summoned. She was wearing a flowing red dress with a slit up one side that revealed glimpses of her pale leg and I observed the color of the dress with a sinking heart.

Red.

It was red dress, just like Alice said. She hadn't been lying about that part. What else hadn't she lied about?

Victoria and the other vampire came over to join us and Aro tossed his chin regally.

"Leave us," he said to the other vampire.

The other vampire bowed, still without speaking, and left.

Victoria stood there, trying not to let on how shocked she was to see me there. She must've guessed that Aro would've read my mind—or tried to—but she seemed determined not to betray even the slightest recognition, as if that might somehow keep me safe. Unfortunately I had already mentioned her name and Aro saw right through her.

"Well, Victoria," he said. "I think you can understand why I'm so upset with you."

Victoria glanced at me and back at Aro, still saying nothing. Aro extended his hand.

"Come," he said. "I refrained from reading your mind when you first arrived out of respect, but now I'm afraid I must insist."

He gestured with his ghostly hand. A grudging look passed over Victoria's face but she knew she had no choice. I watched anxiously and after a moment she exhaled and placed her hand in Aro's.

Aro's eyelids fluttered shut and a strange smile came over his face. You could almost see him become flooded with every thought and feeling Victoria had ever known. He seemed to enjoy it and it made me angry. It was an invasion of privacy.

Finally he let go. Victoria was frowning darkly as she took her hand back and Aro smiled at her.

"Wrinkle not thy scarlet brow at me, my lady," he said. "You've been keeping secrets."

He turned his smile to me. Then he turned it back to Victoria. He was clearly enjoying this leverage and being able to decide if I lived or died or if Victoria did too. Victoria and I glanced at each other worriedly and he seemed to notice the glance.

"Hmm," he murmured. "Yes. You two have been through a lot together. Why, you might even be mates. Would be a shame for such a journey to end here, wouldn't it?"

He let the question linger. Neither Victoria or I answered. Neither of us had even uttered a word since she had entered the chamber.

Aro looked at us, smiling, and turned to me with his hands laced behind his back once more.

"Well, Ms Swan," he said. "What are we going to do with you?"

Once again he waited for me to answer. I didn't.

"As I'm sure you're aware," he went on, "we don't tolerate humans to know our secret. Hunting you down would've been a chore, but here, now, why I'm sure your execution would be a pure delight. Victoria, what say you?"

Victoria had her fist clenched at her sides and her whole body was lightly trembling. Deep in her throat, just barely audible over the fireplace and distant throb of dance music, I could hear a low growl. She looked like she might be ready to try her luck by pouncing on him and killing him and fleeing with me as fast as she could.

Aro smiled. Waiting. Then he smiled again.

"Now would be the time to start begging for her life if you intend to," he advised.

Begging seemed to be a bit below a woman like Victoria, but she seemed to realize it might be her only hope. She glanced at me and slowly she stopped trembling. Her hands loosened at her sides. I gazed at her as if I loved her and trusted her and she seemed to take strength from it. She turned back to Aro.

"I always intended to turn her," she said. "We were only waiting for an opportunity to do it with maximum control over her newborn phase."

Aro raised his eyebrows, as if to inquire if there was more. Victoria swallowed her pride and added:

"But I did intend to."

It was probably the closest she'd ever come to begging, but it didn't seem to be enough for Aro. He shook his head, clucking his tongue like an uncle disappointed with his favourite niece, and sighed.

"Intentions, intentions," he said. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

Neither me or Victoria replied. I kept my face hard, but inside my heart was beating. Victoria had tensed up again, waiting for the verdict. Aro looked at us, as if the question of my life and death were no more significant than which shoes to wear, and finally he sighed again.

"Well, there's no need to rush into a decision right now," he said. "There's much to contemplate. That gift of yours intrigues me greatly. Perhaps I'll keep you for myself, hm?"

Victoria bristled even more. Aro seemed to enjoy it and turned to me with a charming smile.

"Tell me, Ms Swan," he said. "Do you dance?"

I glared at him. "No."

He was surprised at my abrupt answer. Victoria's mouth twitched with a proud smirk. Aro chuckled and then he took my hand and lifted it and circled slightly to my side as if to examine my body.

"No? How come no? A woman as beautiful as you could never lack for a partner. Wouldn't you say, Victoria?"

He was still holding my hand in the air and he waited for an answer just long enough to make her uncomfortable and then he smiled and lowered my hand and passed it to Victoria. Victoria took it and tugged me closer to her protectively. Aro smiled at us.

"Come," he said. "We have dancing nightly and you're welcome to join us for the duration of your stay."

"That might be too dangerous, Aro," she said, her demeanor finally softening now that I was safe in her custody—for now.

"Oh, nonsense," Aro said, waving her off with a flick of his sleeve. "We're not savages here. I'll issue orders to all that her every need be seen to and no harm will come to her as long as she remains under my protection." Then he smirked and added: "For however long that might be."

Victoria frowned but she didn't object anymore. Aro sighed and took a gold pocketwatch from somewhere about his robes and flipped it open and held it to the firelight to read it's face.

"Victoria, you'll be able to find Ms Swan something appropriate to wear, won't you?"

Victoria nodded. Aro was still looking at his watch but he seemed to notice. Then he snapped the watch closed and smiled at us.

"Splendid," he said. "Then I look forward to seeing you on the dancefloor, Ms Swan."

He took my hand one more time, the one Victoria wasn't holding, and he lifted it to place a cold kiss on my knuckles. I glared at him as he did so, my heart pounding with fear and uncertainty. His deep red eyes were watching mine and he gave my fingers a subtle caress, as if he was still pleasantly marvelled that his power did not work on me.

I didn't like that look. It wasn't dangerous so much as desirous.

Victoria was watching all this as well, and as soon as Aro let go of my hand, she tugged me away and seized my arm and all but shoved me toward the door.

Her roughness took me by surprise, so quickly after her protectiveness, and I stumbled into the corridor with her fingers digging into my upper arm. There weren't rats or spiders in this area of the catacombs either and the walls were lined with stone shelves and altars that were pristine and empty of any bodies. I hissed in pain as Victoria shoved me along, confused at why she was doing this, and as soon as we were completely alone, she leaned to hiss at me angrily.

"What are you doing here? Didn't I tell you to stay in the hotel room?"

"There was an emergency," I said, yanking my arm away.

That hadn't seem to have occurred to her and she immediately seemed regretful. She shook her temper away and looked at me in concern. "What emergency?"

I looked at her, my heart sinking. We had stopped walking, there in the corridor, the flames of the wallsconces trembling over our faces. How was I supposed to tell her what happened? What Alice did to me?

And how was I supposed to know if she was truly going to cheat on me or not?

Victoria was studying my expression and she must've read something in it. Her brows gathered. She looked at me, at the shame and uncertainty I could feel burning in my face, and then she leaned toward me and sniffed.

Instantly her eyes flared. Alice's scent was all over me. I hadn't had a chance to shower since she had—touched me. Panic filled my chest as Victoria recoiled sharply. Her eyes had dilated in rage and they were so black not even the flames of the wall lamps were reflected in them.

My own eyes filled with tears and I said:

"Victoria—"

She slapped me.

The force of it cut off my words and clapped my jaw shut. My vision blurred and my legs wobbled. My eye felt like it was going to explode out of its socket. I reeled and steadied myself and dimly I heard Victoria gasp, as if she was shocked and aghast at what she had done.

"Bella," she said. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I…"

She reached for me but I shrugged backward, holding my face, blinking at her tearfully. Victoria took a deep breath to calm her roiling emotions, wincing as more of Alice's scent reached her nose, and then she looked at me.

"What did she do to you?" she asked.

I almost didn't want to explain myself after what she did but now wasn't the time to be petulant. I rubbed my cheek and sniffed back tears.

"She lied," I said.

"Lied about what?"

"I'm not sure yet," I said, watching her expression. "That's what I came here to find out."

A trace of guilt passed over her face. Guilt for what? Dancing with James? Sleeping with him? Hitting me? I didn't know, but it made my stomach shrivel up inside me all the same.

I wasn't sure what either us would say next, but we were interrupted by a shadow from the far end of the corridor. Two people passing at the intersection, one of them carrying a candle.

Victoria watched them go and then she turned back to me.

"Come, we have to hurry," she said.

Then she took my arm again, firmly but not roughly, and continued down the corridor.

Eventually we came to a place where a row of doors were set in the stone, all numbered, like an underground hotel. Victoria opened one of them and let me in. It was utterly black inside and I just stood there without moving until Victoria lit a lamp. There was no window in the little stone cell and not much furniture side from a large bed with gold bedposts and burgundy curtains that took up half the room. Was this the room Alice saw in her vision? Was this the bed where Victoria was going to have sex with James?

In the corner there was a gold jug and a gold pan. Victoria filled the pan with water out of the jug and then she handed me a silk washcloth.

"Hurry and wash yourself," she said. "Do it now."

I nodded meekly and took the washcloth and started to undress. I took off all my clothes, already shivering in that cold stone chamber, and then I dipped the cloth into the water and began to clean myself, wiping away whatever of Alice's lust still clung to me. I still couldn't believe what had happened in that hotel. I still couldn't even understand what had happened. I had no idea what was real or what was a lie or what was going to happen or what wasn't. All I knew was that I loved Victoria and there was nothing that was going to change that, not Alice, not James, not anything.

I turned to her, still dragging the cloth across my naked body. The water was cold and it made my nipples hard. Victoria had taken a dress out of the wardrobe that stood against the far wall and now she glanced at me. At my bare legs, my naked chest, my face. I gave her a weak smile and moved the wet cloth between my breasts enticingly. Victoria dropped the dress. Her gorgeous face was set in a fierce frown and now she stepped over the fallen dress and grabbed me roughly. I let the rag fall and looked up at her helplessly.

"She coerced me, Victoria," I said. "I was afraid. I'd never seen her like that before. I think the taste of my blood had tipped her over the edge. You know I would never cheat on you, right? You know I'll always—"

—_love you._

That's what I was about to say, but she didn't give me a chance. She forced her mouth onto mine possessively and I surrendered to it eagerly. Just surrendered. For so long I had tried to be strong, but after that day in the cave, it felt like all the strength had bled out of me. I didn't know if I'd ever regain that strength, and right now all I wanted was to be possessed and protected. By Victoria. Her tongue was in my mouth and my jaw fell open bonelessly. I moaned for more into her mouth, more and more, and she gave it to me, kissing me with a passion that was powerful and overwhelming and—

Right.

It was right. Even though she had slapped me and shoved me around and might've even been going to cheat on me, it felt right. Because even if I couldn't put it into words, I knew there was nothing I wouldn't forgive her for, and nothing she wouldn't forgive me for, and nothing that would make us give up on each other, and that's how I knew we truly did love each other.

Then suddenly she broke off the kiss and threw me onto the bed. I landed there, bouncing, my body alive with excitement and eagerness to be possessed. Victoria was hiking up her dress, still clad in her sexy red heels, and now she pushed down her panties and took them off and came climbing into the bed on top of me.

"What I know," she said in a growl, "is that you belong to _me_."

I gasped as she shoved her pussy at mine, a quick jab and clash of our clits. My breath was already heaving and I looked up at her helplessly.

"You're right," I whispered. "I do. I really, really do."

I might've said more, but she kissed me roughly, again attempting to force her tongue into my mouth but meeting no resistance that would require force. I moaned and groaned and she bucked her hips at me some more, jolting me on the bed, causing my boobs to move and flow over my chest.

Finally she broke the kiss and then she started to grind against me, first between my legs and then on my thigh, before flipping me over and grinding on my ass as well, the same as Alice had done but right, right, right.

"Yes," I hissed into the mattress, unaccountably turned on at her desecration of my body. "Spread your scent all over me. Yes."

Then she flipped me back over and swung a knee over my head so that she was mounting my face in reverse. I instantly hooked my arms around her legs and moaned into her wet pussy and moaned even louder as she leaned down across my body and applied her mouth to my own entrance.

The small stone cell was filled with our moans as we continued to lick and eat each other out. I climaxed first, with my mouth lovingly attached to Victoria's vagina, and by the time she reached her own orgasm, I had climaxed a second time, my eyes rolling into my head and my head filled with her scent as I came and came and gulped down all of her delicious juices.

For a few minutes afterwards we continued to toy with each other from that position, licking and kissing at those areas between our legs, and then Victoria rose up and dismounted and climbed off the bed.

I watched her liddedly, smiling, enjoying that moment of peace and tranquillity before it inevitably fell apart. Victoria fetched her panties off the floor and stepped into them and lifted them up, wriggling her hips, and then she pushed her dress back down and straightened her boobs and turned to me where I lay there gazing at her. She gave me a smile and my heart soared.

But she didn't speak and she didn't procrastinate. She grabbed up the dress she had dropped earlier and tossed it on the bed beside me.

"Hurry and put that on," she said. "Aro will be expecting us."

I got out of the bed. "Should I wash again?"

"No," she said with a smirk.

I smiled at that and stepped into the panties she given me. She wanted me to wear her scent like perfume, so everyone would know.

The dress was black and after I slipped it on, Victoria gave my hair a quick brushing before touching up my face with makeup and offering a few pieces of jewellery to wear, earrings, a necklace. The room was equipped with a full length mirror in a gold frame and I looked myself over with some surprise at how sexy I looked in that sexy black dress with my sexy short hair.

Finally Victoria bent to the mirror to correct her own makeup and give her own hair a brush and while she brushed she spoke to me in the reflection.

"No matter what, I don't want you to leave my side for even a minute," she said. "Despite what Aro says, the danger to you is immense."

"Okay."

"Also, there's something I need to tell you."

She set down the brush and turned to me. Small traces of guilt once again appeared on her face and I knew what she was going to say before she said it.

"James is here as well," she said.

I nodded and said nothing. So far Alice had been correct about two things. James and the red dress. Neither necessarily meant her visions were the complete truth, but it didn't disprove them either. After making love just then, I was determined that I wasn't going to give up on Victoria no matter what, but that didn't mean I didn't need to know the truth.

She seemed to be waiting for me to question her about something, but I didn't, and then she took my hand.

"Let's go, we're going to be late," she said.

Then she opened the door and led me out into the corridor to where the music throbbed in the darkness ahead.

—

**AN: Couple of controversial things in this chapter. Victoria slapped Bella, but considering this is the same woman who used to choke her and threaten her and break her arm, I don't think it's too out there, lol. Also, Bella seems to be regressing a bit with her badass-ness. She did go charging into the Volturi lair and she even thought about grabbing a weapon out of the fireplace, but she was very quick to surrender to Victoria. Again, I think it's fairly natural. I tried to make a point that she's very overwhelmed right now and still kind of suffering from post-traumatic depression from that incident in the cave. Anyway, hope everyone enjoyed their holiday. Have a good new year too. :) **


	26. Chapter 26

—

Chapter 26:

—

The heels of our shoes clicked and echoed on the stones as we approached the entrance of a large underground cavern. I was holding Victoria's arm and frowning anxiously as we slowed to a stop without entering. The cavern was raw rock and it was like peering into some twisted ballroom, a dark and smoky atmosphere of laserlights where bodies moiled to the rhythm of technopop. A loud scream rang out and I didn't think it was part of the dancetrack.

Victoria patted my hand to get my attention. I looked at her.

"Whatever horrors you witness in here," she said, "remember that there is nothing you can do for them. Think of it as merely a nightmare."

I nodded, my stomach turning. Victoria nodded as well and she covered my hand where it lay in the crook of her elbow and we entered the cavern.

It was like walking into a nightmare, just as she said. Above the dancefloor there were cages hanging from the ceiling by chains that contained human females that danced with trembling limbs and streaks of mascara in the paths of their terrified tears. They were each topless and wore only black thongs. Several of the cages contained two women and they were forced to touch each other for the entertainment of their hosts, a sight that sickened me to my core. I had half hoped I would be the only human in attendance, but there were many others, most of them in chains and passed about like drugs at a rave, some male, mostly female, gagged, horrified, bleeding from their necks, their wrists. I heard another scream and I turned just in time to see a young girl have her head torn off, the dripping trophy held aloft by the hair over the mouth of a vampire for the blood to drain over his face.

I turned and buried my face into Victoria's shoulder. She held me and continued to guide me across the dancefloor. When I peeked, I saw all the dancers were staring at me. Vampires, both male and female, staring at my face and dress with blood on their mouths, red eyes, licking their lips, passing by in a black carousel of laserlight like a hallucination of horribles, at once menacing and phantasmic. I turned away. A dead body was being dragged away for disposal with its head dragging on the stones and sightless eyes that seemed to meet mine. I looked up. The cavern was huge and domed and the ceiling was entirely covered in a furred mass of bats that seethed and chittered, audible even over the music.

I had no idea where Victoria was taking me but as the crowd thinned I saw she was bringing me before a large dais on which were three thrones. On the center throne sat the man named Aro. The thrones were pure gold and the armrests were carved into shapes of demons or gargoyles.

The other two thrones were occupied by two other men. One of them was possibly the oldest vampire I had ever seen, at least forty or fifty years old in appearance. He had bland brown hair and seemed to lack the spark of others of his kind. He had an elbow on the armrest of his throne and he was leaning his cheek against his hand, gazing out across the ballroom without much interest in anything at all. The other man was much younger, basically a teenager. He had blonde hair and he was slouching on his throne with a certain arrogance and smirking at me as Victoria bought me before them. Aside from them, there was only one other person with them; a small blonde girl in a sapphire silk hood and cape who sat on steps of the dais and smiled at everything with bright little eyes that were red as rubies.

Aro rose from his throne to greet us.

"Ah, Victoria," he said. "You were gone a while, I was about to send for you."

Victoria didn't answer, she just held me close. The younger of the two other vampires also stood, rising from his throne with his chin in the air and gazing down at me like some kind of king.

"Is this her?" he asked no one in particular.

Aro smiled and said, "Yes, Caius, this is her."

I guess they had been talking about me. I frowned at him, trying not to appear afraid. The one named Caius snorted. The other vampire, the older one, had risen as well, but no one took any notice of him. Caius turned to Aro.

"And why is she not executed by now?" he demanded.

"Because I haven't decided yet," Aro replied pleasantly.

"It's not your decision to make, Aro," the younger one sneered, almost exactly like the petulant teenager his appearance suggested. "No human may know of our existence and live. Those are the rules we exist by."

Aro sighed like a longsuffering parent with a troublesome child. Caius glared at him and then spoke past him to the older of the three.

"Marcus," he said. "Help me explain to our esteemed leader."

The one named Marcus didn't seem to hear him. He was staring at me, but not with malice. With curiosity and a strange gentleness. Gazing from me to Victoria, approaching us with slow steps, as if being tugged by an invisible string. There was a slight hunch to his shoulders, as if he carried a great weight, and he even descended the dais to examine us closely. Victoria and I didn't move. Aro was smiling and Caius was glaring at him. The blonde girl sitting on the steps was simply watching from under her hood. The music was throbbing away behind us and I met the old man's eyes. He looked into them and looked at Victoria and looked back into my eyes again.

"You have a very strong bond," he said, so quietly I almost didn't hear.

Victoria was still holding my hand. Squeezing it. I looked at her, at her face, her eyepatch, her beautiful red dress, and turned back to the old man.

"Thank you," I said, not knowing what else to say.

Aro smiled at us. "Old Marcus has a gift as well," he said. "He can sense emotional ties and he tends to get quite excited in the presence of true love. Don't you, Marcus?"

Marcus didn't reply to him. He was sniffing at me and Victoria, like an old dog trying to sort between scents, and then he nodded and turned away.

"Let her live," he pronounced dryly. Then he gestured airily with a hand as he struggled back over to his throne. "Such love… Foolish to waste…"

He sat. His little voyage seemed to have taken a lot out of him. The one named Caius was fuming and Aro turned to him triumphantly.

"Well, there you have it," he said. "Two against one, Caius. The girl lives for now. No hard feelings, hm?"

He put a hand on the younger man's shoulder and jostled it playfully. Caius jerked it back and spun around and stormed out of the ballroom.

Aro sighed as if he was disappointed and turned back to me.

"Well, I hope you're happy Ms Swan," he said. "You've ruined Caius's evening."

"Mine isn't going so well, either," I sneered at him.

Victoria tugged my hand discreetly, as if to warn me from speaking like that. Aro, however, seemed pleased at my boldness.

"You're quite right," he said. "Perhaps a dance will cheer you up?" He then made elaborate shooing motions at me and Victoria toward the dancefloor. "Please, have fun. The night is young and we'll have plenty of time to consider the question of your life and death."

My insides went cold at the idea of going out onto that dancefloor but it seemed we didn't have a choice. Victoria seemed eager to get away from Aro and his whimsical judgements and she turned me around and led me out into that throng of bloodstained monsters.

We found a dark corner of our own and we began dancing weakly, shuffling in our shoes, swaying in our dresses. There was a high alcove above the dancefloor and I could see a DJ up there, bobbing to his music under a disco ball that skittered bright lights off the cavern walls. My skin was crawling to be in such a place and there was a deep loathing that never left my throat. One of the cages that contained two dancers was being opened and one of the girls was being yanked out while they barked at the other one to keep dancing and she did, dancing as she sobbed and watched the other girl dragged off a short distance and die in screams and violent dismemberment, knowing her turn was soon and hoping her dance could delay it.

I turned away with tears in my eyes. "I can't take this," I said.

Victoria took my chin and turned me gently. "Don't look. Focus on me."

I gulped down my fear and tried. Her eye was yellow and calm and she might've been hoping to set me at ease with it but it didn't. Because all I could think about was how comfortable she seemed to be in this place.

"Is this the way you used to live?" I asked her.

She nodded slowly. "Yes."

"And does part of you still miss it?"

She didn't answer. She didn't have to. I almost threw up and suddenly I turned away from her and bent over, dry heaving with my hands on my knees, trying to keep it all down.

I felt Victoria's hand touch my back and I tried to shrug away but she took my shoulders and turned me back into her arms.

"Dance," she urged me. "You have to. Don't draw attention."

I pulled myself together and forced my feet to move, glancing at the other dancers and meeting their red eyes with a tearful glare. Victoria once again turned my face to hers.

"It's not safe for either of us here," she said. "We have to leave as soon as possible. I'm afraid your friend Edward is beyond our reach. We must focus on ourselves. Luckily Aro seems to have taken a liking to you."

I sniffed and wiped my eyes. "He said I have a gift. Some kind of shield. He couldn't read my mind."

"He couldn't?"

"No," I said. "He was fascinated by it. The same way Edward used to be. I don't think he wants to kill me. I think he's more curious to turn me into a vampire and see what my gift is really capable of."

Victoria listened to all this very attentively and I could see in her face how new plans and ideas of using this information were forming in her head.

"And how would you feel about being turned here?" she asked.

"I don't know," I said. "I want to be a vampire, but…"

I glanced at the surrounding darkness, the victims in chains, the vampires shambling through the laserlight with black blood on their faces. I turned back to Victoria.

"I don't want to be like these monsters," I whispered.

Victoria looked at me sadly and then I just started crying. I couldn't hold it back any more. All the fear and hopelessness and uncertainty of everything had been stirring to the surface and now it broke through in a sob as I buried my face into Victoria's shoulder.

"Shh," she said, stroking my back. "Shh…"

"I just want to go Victoria," I wept. "I'm so tired of being afraid. I just want you to take me away and protect me and never let anything near me again. Will you do that?"

I pulled out of the hug to look at her with my swimming eyes. She could see that I had just surrendered my entire self to her care and that was the exact moment James appeared.

He came out of the darkness like a phantom, smiling, fresh blood on his face and hands, dressed in a black silk shirt and his flaxen hair in a dishevelled ponytail as if he'd been up to some strenuous activity.

Victoria looked at him and stopped dancing. I felt like throwing up again, but instead I forced myself to stop crying and wipe away my tears. Suddenly everything felt even more hopeless. Because I had just remembered that I wasn't even sure if I could trust Victoria.

"Well, well, well," James said, smiling at me. "If it isn't the delicious Ms Swan."

He was wiping at the blood on his face with a handkerchief and he leaned slightly to sniff at me a few times. What he smelt, pleased him.

"And with Victoria's scent on you, I must say you are more delectable than ever," he said.

It took all my strength to keep my face in a glare. Victoria only sighed, as if he was merely a bother. James smiled at us both as he finished wiping the blood off his face and then tucked the handkerchief into a pocket.

"Small world, small world," he said. "First I saw your old boyfriend, Edward. He was surprisingly amicable. Not even his old nemesis could shake him out of the apathy of losing his only love. Then I saw your little friend Alice. She wasn't quite so amicable. Actually, she was rather savage. Luckily we were surrounded by Volturi guards or one of us surely would've lost their head. Then, wonder of wonders, I saw Victoria again."

He turned to Victoria with a charming bow.

"A reunion, I hope, that was as joyful for her as it was for me," he said.

Victoria glared at him with her arms folded, looking disturbingly like the heroine of a romantic comedy who was resisting the urge to be attracted to the roguish love interest she had bad history with. James smiled at her and turned to me.

"And now you're here as well, Ms Swan," he said. "The stars must be particularly aligned tonight, mustn't they?"

I didn't answer. My head was spinning and for the first time I realized that I had a gigantic headache. The music seemed to be pounding in my skull and the entire cavern seemed to be shifting and heaving in the darkness.

"Victoria didn't mention you were in Volterra," he went on. "Why is that, I wonder?"

He turned to Victoria questioningly. Victoria continued to glare at him.

"I was trying to protect her," she said.

James raised his eyebrows. "Is that so? But surely you know that hunting is forbidden within Volterra. She has nothing to fear from me, not for the moment at least. So what were you protecting her from?"

"_This_," Victoria said, and with a sweep of her hand she gestured at the surrounding pit of vampires who shifted and heaved among the dead bodies on the floor.

James didn't take his eyes from Victoria. He smirked, as if he didn't believe her. Then he leaned to me slightly.

"Do you believe her, Ms Swan?" he asked. "I don't. Do you know what I think? I think she didn't mention you because her whorish heart was all aquiver to once again be mine."

"You're filth," she hissed at him. "Do not talk to her that way."

James smiled and now he looked at me. "She's beautiful when she's angry, is she not Ms Swan?"

"I said don't talk to her," Victoria snapped.

I stood there, lost, numb. I felt like I wasn't even supposed to be here. As if I just wasn't important, like an extra in a stageplay.

"Oh, Victoria," James said charmingly. "Why do you resist? Are you trying to teach me a lesson? You know we belong together. We have three hundred years of companionship between us. Do you truly want all that to go to waste?"

Victoria's glare faltered slightly. I noticed it with sickness in my heart.

James smirked and went on.

"You don't even have to give up the girl if you don't want," he said. "You're welcome to keep her as long as you want. If this time apart has taught me anything, it's that you are no longer that lost little girl I found in England all those centuries ago. And that if I want to keep you in my life, I'm going to have to accept the person you've become. And the person that you want."

James turned to me. My skin crawled under his eyes. He smiled and continued speaking to Victoria while looking at me.

"If your feelings for her are important to you, they can be important to me as well," he said. "I have to admit, she really is quite an enchanting creature."

"Don't look at her," Victoria said, her voice almost breaking.

James ignored her. "What do you think, Ms Swan?" he asked me. "Relationships are all about compromise, are they not? I'd be willing to accept you in order to make Victoria happy. Would you be willing to accept me?"

He offered a hand and I stepped back from it as if it was poisonous.

"Victoria doesn't want you," I said.

James smirked and raised an eyebrow and turned to Victoria. "Doesn't she? I think she does."

He lifted his hand and touched the backs of his knuckles to her cheek. Just under her eye patch. I could see her eye and it looked like it might've cried if she could.

"Stop," she said. "Don't touch me."

James let his thumb brush across her lips. Victoria hadn't moved an inch, trapped between her feelings for me and the gravity of three hundred years of blood and lust for the man in front of her.

"Marcus told us once we were mates," James whispered. "Marcus knows."

He leaned slowly toward her mouth, cupping her face. Victoria still didn't move. Her eye began to close. My heart had clenched into a knot of utter anguish and if his lips had touched hers I'm sure my heart would've simply erupted out of my chest.

But at that moment a loud voice screamed through the cavern.

"_Bella! Bella, are you here?!_"

It was Alice. Alice's voice. High and frantic, desperate with worry. A commotion rose from the dancers and the voice was so loud that even the DJ stopped the music.

"_Bella! Bella! Bella!_"

Sharp bird's notes that rang throughout the cavern. James and Victoria had startled apart. Victoria looked like she had almost been hypnotized against her will and I was scanning the cavern to see where Alice was. The sound of her voice had caused my heart to flutter up inside me and—

"No!" the voice screamed. "Let me go!"

The crowd had parted and now I could see her. She was still wearing that tiny black dress she had seduced me in and her arms had been seized by two guards. She was struggling to break free, kicking and screaming, and then she saw me across the dancefloor and suddenly she gave an almighty surge that wrenched her captors completely off their feet.

"_Bella_!"

She stumbled toward me, tripping in her heels, and she almost made it when the guards grabbed her again. She gave another surge and the guards looked angry enough to simply execute her there until another voice rang out through the cavern.

"Unhand her, unhand her!"

It was Aro. He had come down from his throne and he was sweeping toward us in his robes, curious at the commotion and annoyed about it at the same time.

"Goodness gracious," he was saying. "Alice? You troublesome pixie. What are you up to now?"

The guards finally let her go and she didn't answer. She ran toward me and grabbed me and tried to shelter me with her arms. Victoria hadn't moved. She was still standing there beside James, watching Alice hold me, her eye filled not with rage or possessiveness but just sadness.

"It's okay," Alice whispered to me. "It's okay, Bella. You shouldn't have come here. I told you what would happen. I told you. Look at her. She still in love with him. Can't you see?"

I looked at Victoria and James. She didn't look like she loved him. She was looking at me and the way she was looking was like I was the only thing in her life she was sure about even as everything else fell apart. I lowered my eyes and pushed Alice away gently. Alice looked injured.

"Why didn't you trust me?" she demanded. "Why?"

All activity in the cavern had ceased and everyone was watching. Aro had arrived together with Marcus and the blonde girl in the sapphire hood and Aro didn't look pleased.

"Well, now," he said. "Is anyone going to explain what's going on here?"

Alice spun on him angrily. "Bella is just a girl! She doesn't belong in a filthy pit like this!"

Aro was taken aback at her audacity. He blinked at her and glanced about and turned back to her. "Oh, I'm sorry," he said. "I wasn't aware you were her mother."

A round of polite chuckles went up from his guests. It wasn't much of a joke, but Aro seemed proud of himself. He didn't exactly take a bow, but you could tell he wanted to.

Alice wasn't amused and she continued to glare at him.

"Let me take her away," she said. "She doesn't belong here."

Aro shook his head. "I'm sorry, Alice. She knows our secret. Her fate is yet to be decided."

"Please. She's harmless and as soon as we get out of here I'm going to turn her into a vampire. I swear. See for yourself."

She held out her hand and shook it at him for him to read her mind. But Aro only turned up his nose and flicked the sleeve of his robe at her.

"I'm afraid I'm no longer interested in these petty relationship squabbles," he said. "All I wanted to do was dance and now it's all ruined."

By this time the older vampire, Marcus, had stirred into motion. Once again he seemed greatly fascinated by me and my relationships with the people around me, and he came over and looked at me and looked at Alice and then he circled around us and examined Victoria and James as well.

The whole cavern had gone silent, as if in deference to the old man's eccentricities. Even Alice and Aro seemed to be awaiting the outcome of the examination. Finally Marcus looked at me. Then at Victoria. His eyes passed over Alice and James and then lingered on Victoria once more. Then me again.

"Hmm," he murmured to himself and began to turn away. Then he turned back and did a doubletake at Alice. "Hmm," he murmured again, and this time he did turn away.

I watched him go and I spoke almost without realizing.

"Can you tell me who I'm supposed to be with?"

He shook his head without looking at me, shuffling away slowly with his hunched shoulders. "Only your heart can tell you that," he mumbled. "It will be interesting…"

Aro grinned as the old man went past him. "Ah, Marcus," he said. "Such a sucker for soap opera, aren't you?"

The old man didn't answer. He continued shuffling back toward his throne and that was all.

Alice looked around, wondering if it was okay to speak now, and took a pleading step toward Aro. The blonde girl in the hood moved slightly in front of her master. As if to intercept should he be attacked. But Alice was only trying to beg.

"Please," she said. "Bella's done nothing wrong. She doesn't deserve any of this. Just let me take her away."

Tears filled my eyes and the latent love that I held for her began to stir. Her words sounded so sweet, so full of caring. Despite all her mistakes, the one constant was that she loved me and she wanted to protect me and keep me from all danger. Maybe it had been a mistake to ever doubt her. Maybe I should've just accepted her protection from the very beginning.

But Victoria…

"You're correct," Aro said. "She's done nothing. But you, and Edward, and Victoria, and even James here, all of you have made grave mistakes. I had been in half a mind to let these infractions slide, but now I'm in such a terrible mood that I might simply have you all executed."

Alice froze and didn't dare speak. She threw me a desperate glance. Victoria was standing by with James, elegant in her red dress, her face an impassive mask that betrayed nothing. James was glaring at me and Alice and only wiped away his expression when he glanced back at Aro.

Aro sighed, looking us over and milking the moment of our judgement. Finally he nodded at James.

"James will be forgiven," he said. "While his hunting tactics have been rather sloppy of late, I do believe he did intend to terminate his target."

James didn't respond. He looked at Victoria, as if he was worried about her, but he also stepped back to distance himself.

Aro looked at Alice and Victoria, frowning. "As for you two," he said. "You're both guilty of the same crimes as Edward so perhaps you ought to share his fate. Edward had the grace to volunteer for his punishment, but I don't suppose we can expect the same from you." He turned to some of his guards. "Take them away and lock them up to await execution."

Alice seemed shocked.

"What? No. Bella! Bella!"

She tried to grab me but suddenly the blonde girl pushed back her hood and stepped forward and—

A howl of pain came out of Alice and she collapsed to the floor and shuddered and curled up and screamed and screamed as her body was wracked in a pain that was invisible and overpowering.

"No!" I screamed, not knowing what was happening. "Stop! What are you doing?!"

Aro smiled as Alice continued to writhe on the floor in her tiny black dress. "Jane's gift is rather potent," he explained, gesturing at the blonde girl who was staring at Alice's twisting form as if inflicting the pain with nothing but her eyes. "She can make her target feel as if they are in exquisite pain without actually inflicting any damage. It's all an illusion, you see?"

"Stop it!"

The girl stopped and smiled at me. "Would you like to feel it too?"

Victoria stepped forward and spoke for the first time since Aro arrived.

"Don't you dare," she hissed.

The girl turned her eyes to Victoria and suddenly it was Victoria letting out a shriek as her body dropped to the floor and began spasming in agony.

"No!" I screamed. "Stop it!"

The girl named Jane didn't stop, she just continued to gaze down at Victoria's buckling form, as if trying to break her in half with her mind.

"Stop it! Please!"

She didn't listen and then suddenly I just slapped her.

A collective gasp went through the cavern, like a gentle gust of wind. Aro raised his eyebrows. The blonde girl looked at me in shock. Victoria had stopped screaming and now she was just laying there, whimpering from the residual pain right beside Alice who was likewise whimpering and paralysed. I looked at them both and then I glared at the girl who'd done it. Her own expression of shock twisted into a glare and then she took a step forward and narrowed her eyes and—

Nothing.

I had braced for the pain, but none came. Slowly her expression changed back to shock. She looked at me and her head twitched slightly. A murmur went through the cavern as the guests realized her power wasn't working on me. Jane turned to Aro, lost and disappointed, and Aro ignored her and smiled at me.

"Interesting," he said. "Ms Swan, you will stay with me. As Alice said, you've done nothing wrong here. For now, you will remain as my personal guest while we contemplate this gift of yours."

Alice and Victoria were still helpless on the floor and now they were being dragged away like any other corpses, dragged by their wrists with their dresses slithering across the stones. I watched them go in an agony more acute than anything the blonde girl could've inflicted on me and turned back to Aro.

"Please don't kill them," I said.

Aro smiled and regarded me. "It's two days before the full moon," he said. "That's how long you'll have to earn my favor."

The blonde girl was glaring at me and I felt sick to my stomach. Aro turned to the DJ up in the alcove and clapped his hands.

"Now, let's not let this ruin the party any further," he said. "Let's have some music!"

The music came back on, immediately throbbing throughout the cavern. The spectators broke away and some resumed dancing and gossiping about what they had saw. Already there were fresh shrieks of terror from human girls being fed upon and it took all my might to supress my own terror as Aro smiled at me and extended a hand.

"Now, Ms Swan," he said. "I'll have that dance, if you don't mind."

—


	27. Chapter 27

—

Chapter 27:

—

For the rest of the night, Aro maintained a veneer of gentlemanliness over the quiet and unassuming menace that lay just below the surface. While the rest of the cave raved on around us, he took my hand and guided me through a classical waltz, squiring me through the steps with an easy niceness, flattering my hair, my face, my dress. My scent. Against my will, the compliments almost set me at an awkward ease. As if nothing evil could befall me if only I stayed on his good side. So I managed to smile weakly and dance and I let him twirl me outward and back in again and all the while my heart felt like it was on the verge of being thrown up onto the floor.

By then it was getting late. I hadn't eaten since the morning or drank and I'd only had a couple hours of sleep on the plane and all that combined with the various horrors of the night and the sex and the emotional trauma of Alice's lies and Victoria's uncertainness and the fact that they had both been tortured and dragged away for execution while my own life still hung in the balance, after all that I was soon stumbling in exhaustion.

Aro seemed to notice and yet he didn't stop dancing, as if somehow he wanted to dance me to death. Smiling and dancing and observing my glazed face as my fading eyes swung this way and that, the music dim in my ears, far away, throbbing like a drum in my skull, and the cavern and all the dancers in it spinning in a circle like a ball viewed through the eye of a kaleidoscope as Aro twirled me and turned me and continued to dance until at last my feet slipped and tripped in my heels. He observed this with amusement as well and made no move to catch me. I tumbled over weightlessly, falling for what seemed like a long time through darkness and vertigo, and then my head hit the stone floor and the night was over.

I woke up with a pain in my head like a railspike driven into it and I groaned and winced and grabbed my temple. There was a lump there and the pain gave me a flash of white hot anger that was almost a relief compared to the helplessness of my feelings last night. I opened my eyes but the room was utter blackness. All I knew was that I was in a bed somewhere.

Then I heard movement in the darkness.

A scrape of a shoe. My head spun to the sound, triggering a fresh jolt of pain. I grabbed at my temple again and stared into the blackness. Someone was there. I could hear them. They were doing something. Victoria? Alice? My heart began racing and I was about to call out when a match hissed in the darkness and a pale hand was illuminated. The hand then used the match to light an oil lamp. Already I could see it wasn't Victoria or Alice. It was a man. The hand then bought the match up to a pair of lips that pursed and blew it out and as the light washed over his face I saw that it was James.

The lamp was on very low and now he turned it up, filling the room in a dim orange glow. He was smiling and holding the lamp like someone who'd been leading a search party for me. I had half risen in the bed and the sight of him combined with the pain in my head filled me not with fear or despair but just pure and utter anger.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I demanded.

He sighed and set down the lamp. "In consideration of our history together, Aro has sent me to be your chaperone for the day," he said. Then he smiled sardonically. "His sense of humor can be rather dark."

I glared at him and for the first time I realized I was naked under the covers. I clutched the sheets over my chest and my fury increased tenfold. I was gonna have to kill whichever motherfucker took off my clothes.

"Where's my clothes?"

He tossed his chin at a pile of clothes that sat folded on a chair. It was the same stuff I'd worn into the catacombs, just jeans and a jacket. I turned my glare back to James, my skin crawling, already knowing the answer to my next question.

"Who undressed me?"

He smiled gallantly and gave a bow. "The privilege was mine, of course."

That was almost more than I could bare. My face colored and my chest began to heave with indignation. "You fucking asshole," I hissed at him.

"It was an expensive dress you were wearing," he said innocently. "You didn't think you were allowed to keep it, did you?"

"You fucking asshole," I repeated, seething. Then I pointed at the door. "Get the fuck out so I can get changed."

"I'm sorry, but I'm under orders not to let you out of my sight."

Now I was really pissed. He gave a small shrug, as if it couldn't be helped. The gesture only made me even more mad, but I was angry enough not to let him have the satisfaction of seeing me afraid. Instead I simply threw off the covers and got out of the bed.

My nakedness was immediately exposed and my skin crawled alike from the cold and from the man in the room with me. His eyebrows rose at my boldness, half surprised, half impressed, but he didn't get to look very long. My body felt like it was burning under his red and disgusting gaze, but I grabbed the shirt and punched my arms through the sleeves and tugged it down over my breasts and then I stomped into my panties and shook out my jeans and marched into them as well. Finally I put my jacket on, jerking it around my shoulders roughly, and I was so flustered from his presence that I went to fluff out my hair from the jacket, forgetting that my hair was now very short.

Finally I spun back to him, my face on fire, and said:

"They got a bathroom in this place? Or am I supposed to just pee in a bucket?"

He smirked. "Not in a bucket," he said. "A pan."

He pointed at a goldplated bedpan that was barely visible on the floor under the bed. I looked at it in disbelief. They couldn't be serious. Could they?

I turned back to James. He was leaning against the wall idly, as if he actually meant to stand guard over me while I peed. This was really too much and finally some actual humiliation showed on my face. I was afraid of asking him to leave in case he just made fun of me, but he seemed to have tortured me enough, and now slowly he smirked and unleaned from the wall.

"I'll wait outside," he said. "Don't be long."

Then he opened the door and left.

With him gone, the humiliation departed and the anger rushed back in. What a fucking asshole. I almost didn't want to pee at all anymore, but it had been a whole day since I went last, and I quickly snatched the pan from under the bed and started unbuttoning my jeans. Then I just peed into the fucking thing while clutching my aching head with one hand, squeezing my eyes shut against my first ever hangover and the most brutal one I could imagine.

James was waiting outside like he said he would. I glared at him. Then he gestured down a corridor with his head and we started walking.

I had no idea where we were in the catacombs but it was one of the more clean areas. The corridor was slightly curved and the left wall was sheer stone with lampsconces for light and the right wall was embedded with stone coffins that held ancient bones of skeletons. There were gold nameplates on the coffins but they were Italian. There was probably some historical significance to them, but I had to admit, I really didn't give a fuck. It just seemed like such a stereotypical place for vampire headquarters. I mean, seriously? Catacombs? Yeah, very creative, you Volturi fucktards.

As we walked, James said he was bringing me to see Aro. Which made my day, naturally. What could possibly go wrong? I'm sure the creepy vampire king could be reasoned with and convinced to let Victoria and Alice go, and then…what? What then? Do I go away with Victoria and live happily ever after? Was that still possible? Last night had been an actual glimpse of hell. Could I really just put it behind me an go on and be happy? With a woman like Victoria who used to take part and thrive in that very same hell that had abhorred me so much? Until now her past had been remote and unimportant. But after all the horror I had seen last night, the murder and the feeding, and knowing that Victoria used to be part of it—did that change my feelings? Could I really just forgive her history of evilness as if it was nothing? Did she even deserve forgiveness? That was the scary thing, because she probably didn't. If I wasn't in love with her, there was no way I would say she didn't deserve to die, like any serial killer that deserved the death penalty. Vampire or not, change of heart or not. Some things just couldn't be redeemed and three hundred years of mass murder was probably one of them. But I _did_ love her. That was the point. And if that made me as bad as her, well, so be it. For whatever it was worth, Victoria _did_ change. And she was still changing. That might never be enough in a court of law, but it was enough for me. All we had to do was get out of here. And Alice? What about Alice? I still had no clue how I felt about her. My heart had warmed when she came charging into the ball to rescue me, but that didn't erase what she did at the hotel. I wasn't the kind of person who used the word rape lightly, and I refused to use it now, but I did feel coerced. And taken advantage of. And lied to. And hurt. And betrayed. I wasn't sure exactly how much of it was lies, but somehow I had to find out, even if I had to get the truth from Alice herself. She owed me that. And yet despite the hurt and betrayal, I couldn't be angry with her. Deep inside, I just couldn't. Alice was more than just a friend. She was basically family. A sister. No matter what she did, I could never hate her or mistrust her, and there was nothing I wouldn't forgive her for. Ever. I even had sympathy for what she did. I knew how confused and desperate she had to have been to fall so far from her grace and goodness. I didn't want to punish her for what she did. I wanted to help her. I just needed her to tell me the truth and let me be with Victoria. If she could do that, then there was no reason the three of us couldn't leave here together. Our own little coven. All I had to do was convince Aro somehow to let us go. I wasn't sure how I could do that, but I did have a gift he was interested in, and he did seem like a pleasant sort of monster. There had to be some way to bargain with him.

James glanced at me as we walked. My head was down, deep in thought, and so far we hadn't spoken much since leaving the room I'd woken up in. I noticed him and ignored him. Despite the myriad of problems I was wrapped up in, I felt much better than I had last night. Last night everything had seemed so hopeless, but now I felt determined. Strong. Angry. I felt like I was just too pissed off to care anymore and had nothing left to lose. Everything to gain. James glanced at me again, unnerved by my silent stare into the darkness ahead, and chuckled.

"By the way, feel free to try and run away," he said. "Escape would be one of the few circumstances I would be permitted to kill you."

I glanced at him dryly. "And after last night, I thought you kind of liked me," I said sarcastically.

He smirked at me briefly. Thinly. "What I said was mostly for Victoria's benefit. Although as much it pains me to admit, your knack for survival does fascinate me. Along with your beautiful new haircut, of course."

I glanced at him disgustedly and looked away. He smirked and added:

"But at the same time that doesn't mean I wouldn't get rid of you and keep Victoria all to myself."

I shook my head and answered without looking at him. "She doesn't like you anymore. Get over it."

"Perhaps she's the one who still hasn't gotten over it. A relationship like ours doesn't disappear overnight. She's known you for but an eyeblink. With me, she's spent entire lifetimes."

"And in all that time you never managed to satisfy her," I said snarkilly. "So…"

I completed the sentence by sticking up my middle finger at him. It was the first time I had ever made that crude gesture, but the anger inside me was feverish and half-delirious. He raised his eyebrows at my bitchiness and said:

"Feisty this morning, aren't you?"

"Fuck you," I said boredly, and then suddenly he grabbed me and threw me against the stone wall.

It took me by surprise, but I didn't feel even a jolt of fear. Just more of that irrational anger. I growled at him and tried to twist out of his hands, but he was too strong. I booted his shin and almost broke my foot and then I tried to twist again until one of his hands closed around my throat. My breath choked down and the pain in my head flared into a blinding throb. His own face was calm and smiling and his voice was soft as he spoke.

"Aro said I couldn't kill you," he said. "He didn't say I couldn't do…other things."

He punctuated the threat by flipping aside one half of my jacket and levelling a look at my struggling breasts as I tried to twist away from him. He put a hand on me and smirked into my face.

"Maybe you're only with Victoria because you've never had a real man yet," he said.

I spat on him and spoke with spittle on my lips and my voice rasping through the throttle pipes of my throat. "You aren't going to do shit," I said. "Keep following orders you little bitch. I'll fucking kill you myself."

He smiled at all this and squeezed one of my breasts through my shirt. I thrashed again and tried to kick him. He leaned to me in that darkness and sniffed delicately at my scent, his eyes falling closed.

"What I wouldn't give to have you right now," he murmured. "Perhaps it would even be worth the execution. I so hate to leave a hunt incomplete…"

His mouth had moved to the crook of my neck and now I felt his tongue come out and lick across my skin, cold and disgusting. A moan of rage came out of me and I twisted so hard against his grip that I almost snapped my own neck in his hand. But he let go and I fell to my knees, wheezing and clutching my throat, my skull on the verge of exploding from the pain contained inside it.

James stepped back and looked up and down the dark corridor while I caught my breath. Finally he smiled down at me and waited and then offered a hand.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "I didn't crush your oesophagus, did I?

I slapped his hand away and staggered to my feet by myself, eyeing him balefully without any hint of fear. "I've been choked worse than that before," I rasped. "At this point it's almost foreplay."

He smirked at that. I glared at him, but it did feel nice to be a badass again. Then he turned and continued down the corridor and I fell into step beside him.

"Have you seen Victoria yet?" I asked, still rubbing my throat. "Is she alive?"

He nodded, perhaps mostly to himself. "She's alive," he said. "For now. She's being held in the prison in the southwest wing."

"And Alice?"

"Alice as well. And Edward."

"Can't they just bust out?"

"The bars would bend like rubber, but even the three of them combined couldn't get past the guards."

"What about with you?"

He glanced at me, half surprised, half not. It had wounded my pride to basically ask for his help after what just happened, but I wasn't gonna be picky about how we got out of here. The important thing was that we did get out. He seemed impressed at my boldness but he shook his head.

"If I attempted any kind of rescue, it would only get them killed quicker," he said. "Your only hope—or shall I say, _our_ only hope—is to convince Aro to spare them."

"What are the chances of that?" I muttered.

"Who knows? He's a very eccentric man."

I snorted and said, "He's a fucking clown."

James paused and turned to me with a finger to his lips to caution silence. "Careful, Ms Swan," he said. "Vampires have excellent hearing."

I knew he had a point, but the feeling in my bones was reckless and borderline suicidal, like a soldier in battle who'd been beaten past the point of despair and into that fey rush of adrenaline that causes the final doomed charge into death.

But I pursed my lips and nodded and we continued on.

The entrance to the throne room was up ahead, an inviting orange glow like an inn at the end of a dark road, and I could hear voices from inside. It was the same cavern as the ball last night, but the cages that hung from the ceiling were empty aside from the bloodstains of the women who danced their lives away inside them. There were bloodstains on the floor as well and the ceiling was still covered by that seething mass of bats. Chandeliers hung from huge iron chains and there were several fireplaces from separate ends of the cavern and the whole chamber was warm and well lit with little hint of the evilness it contained beyond the blood on the stone.

James and I went past two guards and approached the thrones that lay in the far side of the cavern. It was a long distance and a little bit of laughter came from up ahead. There was a small crowd gathered around the throne and people were coming and going, like a king's court. I glanced around and whispered to James.

"So I guess the party's over," I said.

"Till tonight when it all begins again."

"Bunch a fucking monsters," I muttered.

He glanced at me sharply, as if to once again caution carefulness with my words, but once again I didn't give much of a fuck.

As we got closer to the thrones, I saw all three were occupied by those so-called Volturi overlords, along with the girl named Jane who sat on the steps at their feet like a loyal hound—or bitch. She was wearing that same sapphire hood and she glared at me with her large red eyes as me and James approached.

No one seemed to take much notice of us. They were in some kind of discussion. Aro sat in the middle throne, clad in his black and red robes like a man on his way to a Halloween party, and Marcus was on his left and Caius on his right. Marcus seemed utterly bored at the proceedings and he was staring across the cavern at one of the fireplaces. Caius was scowling at whoever it was that stood before the thrones and even Aro seemed a little peeved. I wondered what was going on and then I saw who was there.

Jasper.

I stopped and stared at him. He must've arrived this morning, and now here he was, standing before these vampire kings in a black coat with his black hat in his hands like some visiting dignitary. The sight of him filled me with even more that reckless anger and very loudly I said:

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

Caius had been speaking and now he silenced, his eyes flaring at me. The small ring of spectators were shocked at my audacity and a hushed whisper went among them. Jasper turned to glance at me and if he was surprised to see me there he gave no sign. He simply nodded and reached to tip an imaginary hat. Marcus and Aro alone seem unperturbed at my interruption and Aro sighed in agreement.

"Yes, my sentiments exactly, Ms Swan," he said. He regarded Jasper blandly and heaved another sigh. "Did you come alone, young man, or are we to be invaded by every Cullen in existence? My hospitality is wearing thin."

"I came alone," Jasper said.

Aro sighed once more and waved his hand at Jasper. "Yes, yes, well give me your hand and we'll see exactly what's going on here."

Jasper stepped forward and placed his hand in Aro's. Aro held it for just a second and then let it drop in exasperation as he sat back on his throne.

"Good lord," he said. "Another of these starcrossed lovers. You've created quite a sensation, haven't you Ms Swan?"

I was standing by with James and still glaring at Jasper. "I didn't create anything," I said. "It's just a bunch of stupid losers who don't know when they're not loved anymore. What the fuck are you doing here, Jasper? She left you. Get over it already, you fucking—"

I even took a step forward, as if to punch him or something, but James pulled me back discreetly, as if he thought he might be punished for my impudence as well. Another whisper went through the small crowd and this time even Aro and Marcus were stirred by my tirade. Marcus said nothing, he only regarded me curiously, but Aro smiled and shifted on his throne awkwardly as if he thought I might attack him next.

"Good heavens," he said. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed, didn't they?"

Chuckles from the guests. Aro crossed his legs and smiled about. Jane smiled as well and her eyes flickered over me anew, as if there was something different about me she hadn't noticed last night.

I turned away from them and threw one last glare at Jasper. He smiled at me slightly and then turned back to Aro.

"I'm here for Alice," he said. "I came alone. I wasn't aware of why she is here or what crimes she has committed, all I'm concerned with is taking her home."

I continued glaring at the back of his ponytail, not knowing how I felt about what he was saying. I wanted Alice out of here, but not with him. I needed her in in my life, _mine_. Not his.

Caius rose from his throne in one dramatic motion.

"The crime she is guilty of is the same crime that you are guilty of as well," he said. "Allowing a human knowledge of our existence. And for that, perhaps you should join her in execution."

Jasper looked at him. The other vampire was tall and stood on the raised platform of the dais and yet Jasper seemed no less diminished. There was distinct lack of anything on his face, expression or respect, and he looked a lot like a young general staring down an impetuous king.

Tension was rising in the silence until Aro lifted a hand and motioned for Caius to relax.

"Caius, please," he said. "We're not monsters here. I think we're all aware that in the case of Ms Swan there has been extenuating circumstances."

Caius looked at Aro. He didn't appreciate being contradicted, but he could tell he wasn't going to win the staredown, so he held his tongue.

Jasper turned away from him and looked at Aro. "Bella was practically part of the coven," he said. "She was always intended to be turned. Alice is not to blame, nor I."

"Regardless," Caius said, glaring at him resentfully. "Your mate is an annoying bitch and she's going to be executed."

Utter silence in the cavern. I felt a chill at those words. I had thought I'd be able to reason with Aro maybe, but this Caius dude was like a total psycho.

Jasper looked again at the younger vampire. Still no expression on his face.

"Alice has a valuable gift," he said. "So do I. We could be of use to the Volturi."

Aro perked up at that but I blurted out:

"Alice would never be part of these assholes!"

A few people murmured disapproval. Glances were exchanged. Aro didn't even seem to notice my words, he seemed far more fascinated by Jasper's.

"We've tried to recruit members from your coven before," he said. "None of you were interested. Pray tell, what has changed?"

Caius didn't like the attention taken from him and he spoke before Jasper could answer. "Nothing has changed," he said to Aro, and then he turned back to Jasper. "If you want, you can join your mate in execution. Otherwise you are free to leave Volterra whenever you wish."

After that, he sat back down on his throne and slouched back to glare at everyone and defy them to object.

No one did, but Aro seemed pensive. Jasper looked between all three of them and then he looked at me and James and all the other guests and finally he turned back to Aro.

"At the very least I would request permission to stand witness for the execution," he said.

Aro nodded as if this was reasonable. "Permission granted."

"I would also like to visit her beforehand," Jasper added.

"Me too," I piped up, sick of being ignored. "And Victoria."

Caius snorted. "Out of the question.

But Aro shot him a playful glare and reached to tap his knee like how one might chide a child. "Come now, Caius, why must you be such a barbarian? Let them have a little visit."

Caius glared at Aro. He might've objected, but then Marcus stirred and spoke for the first time.

"They may have a few moments," he said, nodding at me and Jasper. "To bid farewell."

Aro nodded as well and Caius exhaled through his nose but gave a nod of his own. Jasper bowed, as if to say thank you, and Aro gestured at James with his chin.

"James, take them to the cells," he said. "I assume you'd like to see Victoria as well?"

James bowed as well. "You are very generous, my lord."

"Indeed I am," said Aro. "Now, go. We have other business to attend to."

Jasper and James turned to go but I took a moment to glare at all three of these ridiculous rulers, my eyes lingering on Aro. If he expected me to bow like Jasper and James did, he had another thing coming. But my furious eyes only seemed to fascinate him and he smiled at me, calmly, speculatively, as if beyond his whimsy he did have a certain plan in store. Jasper paused and James grabbed the back of my jacket and I turned and jerked out of his grip and stalked on ahead, marching past them and leaving them to catch up.

—


	28. Chapter 28

—

Chapter 28:

—

The cells were located in the southwest quadrant of the catacombs. The entrance was arrayed with two stone gargoyles and two guards, each in black robes with hoods that covered their faces. They stood like statues and not even their robes rustled as we went past into the cellblock.

It was a long stone corridor with cages on either side and lamps mounted into the brick. The lamps cast orange coronas of light onto the cobbled floor that we passed over until we came to the cells at the end where Edward, Alice, and Victoria were kept. None of them had been speaking to each other and only Victoria and Alice came to the bars at the sound of footsteps. They were wearing the same dresses they'd been hauled away in and they were sniffing the air to sort the scents of who approached but there was no wind underground and they weren't sure who we were.

Jasper had his hat on and now he took it off as we got closer. We could see the cells now, the rusty bars and the shadowed women within. Edward's cell was directly at the end of the corridor and Alice and Victoria were on either side. They both must've seen me at the same time because there was a sudden shriek of iron as their hands clutched the bars and they both cried out at once:

"_Bella!_"

Then they fell instantly silent, as if embarrassed to have spoken at the same time or perhaps because they noticed their former lovers were with me as well. Jasper and James shared an awkward glance at how their mates called for me first and we came to a halt between the two cages.

"Bella!" Alice cried, gripping the bars yet not daring to break them. "Bella, thank god you're okay."

Victoria was clutching the bars as well and glaring through them at James. "Get away from her right now," she growled.

"Aro has placed her in my care," James replied breezily. "Don't worry, we've become quite good friends, haven't we Ms Swan?"

He placed a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off without answering. So far I was mostly disaffected by both Alice and Victoria's greetings, as if my heart had such little idea how I was supposed to feel that it didn't bother feeling anything.

"Jasper," Alice said, her voice small, lost, apologetic. "What are you doing here?"

I watched them. He was approaching her cage, slowly, gently, forgivingly. As far as Alice knew, Jasper was nothing more than the loving mate she had abandoned, and her face softened. She had no idea that this was also the man who had tried to have me murdered.

"I tracked you down," he told her. "Did you honestly think I would just let you go?"

Alice shook her head sadly, still holding the bars. "You shouldn't have come here," she said. "Now you're in danger too."

It made me sick that she was actually worried about him, but I said nothing. Jasper reached and touched her hand, caressing the knuckles that clutched the iron bar.

"I'll be fine," he said, half whispering. "I'm going to take care of everything, I promise."

Alice looked conflicted. She clearly didn't love him any more than she had when she left him, but part of her was wondering if she was supposed to. Her plan to win me and take me away had failed and now here he was. Her eyes drifted away from his and over to mine. I looked away.

James was sauntering past me toward Victoria's cell, Victoria glaring at him, James smirking. She looked like she hadn't forgiven him for toying with her feelings last night or for how he had been placed in charge of me. Her eye had darkened from lack of feeding and it was very narrow and very sexy beside her loveheart eyepatch.

James smirked at her and touched her fingers the same way Jasper had done to Alice. "You look very sexy behind those bars," he said. "I almost regret not sharing your sentence, then we could've been cellmates."

Victoria didn't stop glaring but she didn't move her hand either. "You regret nothing," she spat. "You never truly loved me to begin with."

He looked into her eyes and closed his hand around hers. When he spoke, his voice was soft and whispering. "Perhaps not," he said. "But perhaps…perhaps it took me all this time to realize that I finally do."

Victoria's glare trembled. She didn't want to believe him, but part of her did. I could see it in her eye, how it was occurring to her that perhaps in fate's grand scheme she had only left James in the first place so that they could both learn at last to love each other truly.

"Liar," she whispered, and I didn't want to hear anymore.

I turned away from them and approached the third cage. Alice and Jasper were whispering to each other behind me, Alice shaking her head, refusing him, yet glancing at him and wondering and not knowing. Victoria was quietly hissing at James. I was so sick of all the drama and I figured I'd let them sort it out.

The cage before me contained only two things. A bed against the wall and a shadowed figure that lay upon it. Edward. So far he hadn't spoken or even sat up. Hard to believe he was the only reason I had come here in the first place. After everything that had happened, he had begun to seem so insignificant.

"Hello, Edward," I said.

My voice was clear, crisp. Surprising, even to me. Edward lay there with his hands composed on his chest, like a corpse arranged for mourning, and his voice was also clear and crisp.

"Hello, Bella," he said.

I smiled at the exchange. On the floor of his cell a rat scuttled past and I smiled at that as well and lifted the smile to the man on the bed.

"How've you been?" I asked.

"Peaceful."

"Surprised to see me?"

"Not much surprises me anymore."

I nodded and looked back at Alice and Victoria. Victoria had retracted her hand and stood at least a few feet from the bars as she glared at James who continued to try and flirt with her. Alice was still allowing Jasper to hold her hand but she was explaining to him in a whisper that she didn't love him anymore and she was really sorry and that Bella, me, was the only person she could think about.

I turned back to Edward. He finally stirred and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"I assume you've read their minds about everything that's happened," I said.

He nodded, running a hand through his filthy hair and gazing down at the cell floor. "Yes," he said. "I told you from the beginning this would come to pass, didn't I? I told you to stay away from me. From us. That I would only invite danger into your life. Now you see. This is how it ends. No one can protect you now, Bella. Not anymore."

I looked down and sighed. "Yeah, well," I said. "I don't think there's anyone that could've protected me from myself."

He chuckled at that, his head still down, his shoulders heaving silently in the darkness at the back of his cell. I watched him. He had changed, just like the rest of us. Grown up. I could feel it.

"Do you really intend to kill yourself?" I asked him.

"Yes," he said. "My time is over. If it eases your conscience, I can tell you that it's not just you. I was never supposed to be a vampire. I was supposed to die a long time ago."

"I never said my conscience was uneasy."

He looked up. The lamps didn't reach all the way to the back of his cell and his face was just a shadow in the darkness. "Then why are you here?"

"Good question."

"If you had not've come, you would be in England right now. With Victoria. Happily ever after. But instead you came here. Did you not realize how dangerous it was?"

"It wasn't supposed to be. It got complicated."

"Yes," Edward said, nodding, looking over at Alice's cell. "Alice. She came to you at the hotel and changed everything. Her mind is in a strange state. She was always a little off, but now…"

He trailed off. I realized Alice and Victoria had gone silent and along with James and Jasper they were all watching and listening. I glanced back at them and saw the panic on Alice's face now that Edward was talking about her, clutching the bars, caged and desperate.

"Bella, don't listen to anything he says," she said. "He's just jealous and he wants to poison you against me."

I looked at her sadly and felt sorry for her. Edward had obviously read the lies in her mind and she was afraid he was going to tell me. Edward chuckled and rose to his feet.

"She's changed, hasn't she? I remember when I used to be her favorite."

I turned back to him. "She's confused."

"Very confused," Edward said, sauntering forward into the lampglow. "Maybe Victoria is confused as well."

I looked at his face. Sharp features, angular, handsome as ever. Now that he had moved into the light I could see a thin smile on his mouth and a hint of his own madness in his near black eyes.

"Bella, don't listen to him," Victoria said from behind me. "He knows nothing."

I glanced back at her. She had come to the bars again and James was leaning against the iron beside her, smiling, watching how things were going to progress.

I turned back to Edward. "What can you tell me about them?"

Edward stood and put his hands behind his back. He looked at Alice, he looked at Victoria. My heart had begun to beat sombrely in my chest and I was afraid of what he was going to say. But when he turned back to me he only smiled and inclined his head slightly like a bow and said:

"They both love you with all your hearts."

Alice breathed out in relief and even Victoria relaxed her grip on the bars. But I only snorted.

"You're lying," I said to Edward.

Edward raised his eyebrows and looked about his cage, as if maybe I was speaking to someone else in there with him. "Me? Lying? No. Love is the real lie. Ask James or Jasper. They know. Ask me. I can tell you how much of a lie love is."

He sighed and then he lifted a hand and gestured with it and began to pace his cell back and forth like a caged philosopher giving a lecture.

"The truth about love," he said, "is that anything is possible. It can kill you, it can complete you, it can drive you mad. It can lead one woman to believe she truly had a vision of your lover's infidelity…"

He gestured at Alice as the example. Then he turned and gestured at Victoria.

"And it can lead another woman to believe she truly hadn't been going to be unfaithful to you before she was fortuitously summoned away from the ball."

I glared at him. So he was claiming that Alice had made up the vision but Victoria really was going to cheat. The worst of both of them. Edward smiled and continued, gesturing at James and Jasper.

"It can lead two men to cling to their beloveds even after all but being discarded…"

Then he bought his hands to his own chest.

"And it can lead another man to his death," he said. "There's no telling what love will do to you." He smiled again and then he came up to the bars, glancing about and lowering his voice as if to speak secretly. "You see," he said, "people think love is something expressed between two people, but no. Love is that thing that comes from outside and uses you as a puppet to express itself. Love has its own agenda and that agenda is something no man or woman's heart can fully comprehend, that heart itself being but another prop in the play."

I didn't answer. No one did. Edward let go of the bars and went back to pacing the darkness of his cell, waving his hand with each of his points.

"Love is powerful, inexorable," he said. "Uncontrollable."

He turned back to me.

"Do you think you can control your love, Bella?" he asked. "Do you think any of them can?"

I looked down at the stones and shuffled my boots and looked up again. "You know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think you're as crazy as they are."

He smiled as if he agreed. Then he tossed his chin at me.

"And you Bella? What has love done to you?"

"It got me laid a couple times," I said dryly. "Aside from that, I haven't really overthought it."

Then I turned away from him and looked at the others. Alice and Victoria were watching me from their cages, Jasper and James standing by. No one seemed to know what to say, but I did.

"I'm not sure if I'm only speaking for myself here," I said, "but I'm getting goddamn sick and tired of this never ending soap opera. So why don't we all stop talking about our feelings for two minutes and focus on figuring out a way to get out of this hellhole?"

Alice and Victoria shared a glance. James smiled, as if he thought I was cute. Jasper alone seemed to weigh my words and he gave me a slow nod.

"You're right," he said. "And rest assured, I came with a plan. I don't intend to let Alice languish here."

I nodded as well, but there was no way I was going to let Jasper get the best of me the same way he did when Alice was trapped in the cave. "That's good," I told him, and then I smirked and turned to Alice. "And Alice? There's something I've been meaning to tell you."

Jasper's face immediately went cold. Alice glanced at him and back at me.

"What is it?" she asked.

I moved closer so that I could talk to her directly through the bars. She was still wearing her tiny black dress and her face was small and streaked with dirt from where it had been dragged over the floor. I looked at her steadily and finally told her the truth.

"Jasper isn't the man you think he is," I said. "That time on my birthday, he wanted to kill me and blame it on an accident. Before that, he was the one who let James live so that James would try and kill me again. After that, he was the one who delivered me to James and Victoria while you were trapped by the wolves in that cave."

Jasper's face darkened. Alice looked at him in shock and back at me. I leaned closer and whispered softly.

"He doesn't love you," I told her. "He only thinks he owns you. _That_ is the man you chose over me."

Alice was stunned. Disbelief flooded her tiny face and she backed away from the bars, from me, from Jasper, from everything. Jasper glanced at her and turned his dark eyes to mine.

"That was very foolish, Ms Swan," he said.

But I only snorted and turned away.

Victoria had been watching everything, and now I went over and shoved James out of the way and reached into the cell to grab Victoria by her neck and pull her face into the bars and place on her mouth a possessive kiss right in front of James, Alice, all.

"I love you, Victoria," I hissed, breaking the kiss. "I'm going to get you out of here, I promise. You belong to _me_."

Victoria seemed shocked at my forthrightness and her eyes were filled with gratefulness—as if she had truly needed that reminder to keep the darkness of her past at bay.

"I know," she whispered.

I held her head to the bars and smiled at her. I was going to kiss her again when footsteps came from down the corridor.

At first it was impossible to see who it was. Someone small, possibly female, robed, hooded. Bootheels clicking on the stone. As she got closer I could see her robes were sapphire and once she took off her hood I could see it was Jane.

"Aro wishes to see you," she said. "All three of you. Privately."

I turned and looked at my companions. Jasper's eyes gazed at me darkly and behind him Alice had sunk to the floor of her cage with her face in her hands. James actually seemed slightly turned on by how I had cuckolded him like that and he gestured for me to go first with a gentlemanly wave of his hand.

I glanced back at Victoria and Victoria gave me a nod, watching me through the bars. I nodded back and then I turned and fell into step beside Jane with Jasper and James behind us. Back in the cells I could hear Alice sobbing in the floor of her cage and finally asking Edward in a broken voice if it was true.

—

We were bought to a large banquet hall that had no guards. A long hall with chandeliers and stone frescos carven in the shapes of bats and demons among the oilpaintings. Fire places were blazing, three massive hearths in each wall, and we were seated at a long darkwood table that was covered in a feast of food that still steamed from the kitchen, great silver trays arranged with fish and fowl and roast shoats on platters with apples in their mouths and towers of fruit and pastries and trifles and glaces, all along with bottles of wine and brandy and a thick red liquid that might've been blood together with an array of crystal glasses. I hadn't eaten since yesterday but I felt nothing but disgust at the meaningless extravagance.

The three of us had been sitting for almost ten minutes in silence when Aro finally made his appearance. He came in with his robes flowing and Jane at his heels and he smiled at us all around before gesturing at the banquet.

"Please," he said. "Help yourself."

I was the only human there and there was enough food for a hundred humans. Obviously this was more of his strange humor and I didn't want to humor him.

"I'm not hungry," I said. "Why are we here?"

He was sitting down at the head of the table and tucking in his chair. "Straight to business, eh? Very well. You're here to discuss a proposition."

"What kind of proposition?"

Aro paused and looked about covertly, as if there might be spies peering from the eyes of the portraits that hung from the walls, and then he turned back to us quietly. "I'm afraid it's something of a delicate matter," he said. "So before we go any further, I'm going to have to swear you all to utmost secrecy."

He put his finger to his lips earnestly. Like a schoolgirl about to impart which boy she likes. I looked at him as if he was stupid and Jasper and James just nodded.

He smiled and took a large brandy glass from the table. Jane came forward and began to fill it with blood from a crystal decanter. Once it was half full, he gestured at his other guests.

"And for our other guests, thank you, Jane."

Jane began going around the table. Aro sipped and set down his glass.

"Allow me to get directly to the point," he said. "The Volturi have existed for thousands of years. Thousands. And in all that time, we've functioned very well. Lately, however, some have begun to feel that perhaps a change in leadership is somewhat overdue."

Jasper took his glass in his hand but didn't sip it, only swirled it and sniffed at it like fine wine. His eyes were still yellow but they darkened slightly. It was obviously human blood and he wasn't sure if he should drink it. He set the glass back down and turned to Aro.

"Who exactly feels that way?" he asked.

"Me," Aro said, with a bit of a giggle. "Mostly. And when I say lately, I mean over the last couple of centuries. Caius has been making mistakes and altogether become a very unpleasant fellow. Well, you've met him, I'm sure you know what I mean."

He gestured at me, as if I was supposed to agree. I did, but I didn't say anything. I just sat there, listening. James had drained his glass of blood and Jane filled it again for him.

"There has never been any question over my own leadership, of course," Aro went on. "My subjects love me. Marcus too is an absolute darling, but Caius…"

He sighed, as if he wished it were some other way but alas it was like this.

"Well, he just won't listen to reason anymore," he said. "He's become a liability. For a long time now, I've been waiting for an opportunity to replace him. And now suddenly I find our headquarters flooded with outsiders who possibly feel the same way I do. Outsiders with very attractive gifts. Even you, Ms Swan. Your little shielding power is quite intriguing, but more than that is your connection to Alice and Edward and Victoria. With you at my side, I'm sure we could count on their support as well, hm? In exchange for their freedom, perhaps?"

I was beginning to realize what was going on here. Aro wanted our help to overthrow Caius and in return we would earn his favor. And even though it felt like I had suddenly been thrust into an episode of Game of Thrones, I had to admit, it kind of made sense.

I looked at James and Jasper. James was slouched and smiling in his chair, as if it was all very agreeable to him, and Jasper had once again taken up his glass of blood. He looked at the liquid inside with his yellow eyes, thinking about Alice perhaps and how disappointed Alice would be if he drank human blood. But Alice was already lost to him and he lifted the glass and sipped it. Immediately a bit of pink bled into his amber irises like ink spreading in a pool and he set the glass down and glared at me with nothing left to lose for a moment before turning to Aro.

"In truth," he said. "I had come here with something similar in mind myself."

—


	29. Chapter 29

—

Chapter 29:

—

The next day was the final day before the scheduled execution. Only there was not going to be any execution. There was going to be a coup instead.

I didn't know how much I could trust Aro, but it wasn't like I was flushed with options. For now I was going to have to trust him. Life lately had become so complicated that all I could do was take it day by day. Hour by hour. My only goal was to survive and keep Alice and Victoria alive as well. That was all. And by keeping my focus as narrow as possible, it began to seem like I actually had hope. Aro's plan was sound and simple. And he was certainly the kind of ruler who valued the notion of being loved and feared rather than just feared. He clearly wanted us on his good side, and as long as everything went according to plan, there was no reason to believe that sometime soon, me and Alice and Victoria would…

…what?

But that's where I forced myself not to think about it. Survival took priority. The intricacies of our relationships had to wait. My feelings for Victoria, my feelings for Alice. Victoria's feelings for James. Her history of blood and murder. Alice's emotional state. Her desperation and hysteria. All of it had to wait. The only thing I was sure about was that there was nothing I couldn't overcome. Where Alice and Victoria were concerned, there was nothing I couldn't forgive or accept. My feelings for them had solidified into something more solid than the rocks of the catacomb itself and one way or another I would keep them both in my life. Somehow.

I fell into a fitful sleep, full of anxiety and nightmares of enormous things that I couldn't control, and in the morning I was woken gently by the girl named Jane. She was poking me with her finger. As if I was something dead there. She was carrying a lamp and all I could see was her face under the hood and she smiled and told me that James was busy with Aro and that today it would be her who took care of me. Her gigantic red eyes peered at me from under her hood, lamplike themselves, and golly, I felt safer already.

Jane and I hadn't exactly gotten off on the right foot at the ball, but Aro's regard for me seemed to have rubbed off on her, and she was very polite and considerate as she waited for me to wash and use the bathroom. She then took me to a place in the catacombs where there was a small kitchen. There was no light aside from the lamp and I felt glimmers of fear as the lamplight washed up against a rack of kitchen knives, a chopping block, an old wood fed stove. I was getting very weary of all this darkness. It had only been days, but it felt like I had been trapped down here for years. I couldn't wait to see the sun again.

Jane set the lamp on the table and told me to sit while she fixed me a sandwich. I hadn't eaten in well over twenty-four hours by now and my stomach felt like a shrivelled knot inside me. I didn't even know if I'd be able to eat. Not here. Who knows what kind of kitchen this was.

Jane placed a plate before me and a glass as well and then she poured the glass full from a pitcher of milk that she set beside the lamp. Then she sat down to wait and watch. I picked up the sandwich and examined it. Roast beef and lettuce. I was so hungry it felt like my stomach was chewing itself but at the same time I really didn't want to eat.

"You should eat," Jane said. "You'll need your strength."

I looked at her and then looked about at this dark and feudal kitchen we were in. "I don't know if I can stomach eating in this place."

"Don't worry," she said. "We butcher the humans in a separate chamber."

I glanced at her. The scary thing was that she had actually intended to set me at ease. She had put her hood down and her face was soft and innocent in the lampglow. Young. Maybe only twelve years old. Thirteen. Her eyes so large and pretty. Yet with who knows how many hundred years behind them.

I turned back to the sandwich and sighed. Then I bit into it. Jane smiled and watched me. I chewed. It felt like sawdust in my dry mouth.

"You're very brave for a human," she said.

I struggled to swallow and replied, "I'm very stupid for a human."

"Well," she said, shrugging as if I might be right. "I was trying to be nice."

"That doesn't come very natural to you, does it?"

"Not particularly, no."

I took another bite of the sandwich and looked at her. She was watching me with a certain concentration, as if wondering why something wasn't working. Then I realized she was trying to use her gift on me.

I frowned at her. "You're trying to torture me with your gift, aren't you?"

She seemed surprised that I noticed and she backed down coyly. "Yes."

I snorted and shrugged away from her slightly with my sandwich, as if those extra couple inches of distance would keep me safe. "Well, could you stop? Whatever gift I have, I'm not sure how much I trust it."

She smiled and leaned on the table, like a girl preparing to gossip. "It'll be interesting when you become a vampire. To see the full extent of your gift. Aro thinks your shield could be extended to protect others as well."

I sighed and took another bite of the sandwich. "Still seems kind of boring compared to mind reading or seeing the future. Personally, I would've preferred something more destructive."

"Like mine?"

She was staring at me again, biting her lip coyly, and this time I slapped her shoulder. "Stop it, you little psycho."

She giggled and put her hands in her lap primly. "Sorry," she said. "But it's nice that you and I can become friends."

I had been about to take another bite of the sandwich. Now I stopped and lowered it.

"I'm not friends with anyone who feeds from humans," I told her.

Her smile sobered, as if she didn't quite understand. Then she sort of just brushed it off with a shrug underneath her sapphire satin cloak. "In time, you will feel differently," she said. "After you become a vampire yourself, you will realize they are below us and not worth your sympathy. The same way you feel nothing for which ever poor animal you are eating now."

She nodded at the half eaten sandwich in my hands. I looked down at it and looked back at her.

"There's just one difference."

"Which is?"

"I'm not a sandwich," I said. "So, yeah, I don't feel too sorry for it."

Then I took a large bite and started chomping it. My stomach was finally beginning to loosen. She smiled to concede my point, recalling perhaps that at one point she herself used to be human.

"Then we won't be friends," she said. "We will be comrades."

"Comrades?"

"Yes. For hundreds of years I have been Aro's bodyguard because I have the strongest gift. Yet my gift is unable to protect him directly. Yours will. Together we could protect him from anything."

I frowned. We were sitting there at the corner of the table with the lamp between us, like conspirators huddled in some basement. She was watching me for my reaction and I had to admit I was wary of any future that involved these Volturi.

"What if I don't want to be a bodyguard?" I asked.

I half expected her to outright threaten me somehow but she only shrugged pleasantly. "That is up to you to decide."

"So you're saying I actually have a choice?"

"Of course. Loyalty isn't something that can be forced. Not true loyalty. And how could Aro trust you with his life if your loyalty were anything but genuine?"

I nodded, not sure if I should be put at ease. I had zero interest in being a vampire king's bodyguard, so I hoped I really did have a choice. Jane smiled and urged the glass of milk toward me.

"Don't worry, you'll see," she said. "Aro will win you over. A position of authority within the Volturi is no small prize. You should be very grateful to have such an opportunity at your age."

"I guess I'll have to think about it," I said noncommittally.

She nodded, smiling, and thankfully she was willing to leave it at that. I finished the sandwich and took a drink of the milk. I hadn't realized how thirsty I was and I drained the whole thing. Jane filled it again from the jug beside the lamp. I watched her.

"You think everything is going to go to plan tomorrow?" I asked her.

She smiled and set down the jug. "Of course," she said. "But we mustn't let down our guards. Caius is the strongest vampire in existence. Which is why Aro has been so cautious to depose him. And Caius still has many supporters. If even the smallest thing goes wrong, we will all be in danger. Caius once defeated twelve vampires singlehandedly who tried to assassinate him. He is not to be underestimated."

I nodded, mostly to myself. The sandwich was sitting in my stomach like a stone and I was nervous about tomorrow. As crazy as this Caius was, he was certainly the most hardcore of the three Volturi rulers. He didn't fuck around like Aro or Marcus. If anything went wrong tomorrow, there would be no reasoning or pleading with him.

He would kill us.

Jane was watching me in the lamplight, as if wondering what I would require next. My throat was tight and I swallowed before speaking.

"I'd like to see Alice and Victoria one last time," I said. "Tonight. Just in case."

I had been half scared to ask in case she said no. But she smiled slowly, as if she understood exactly, and nodded.

"I'll speak to Aro and arrange something for you," she said.

Relief and anticipation began coursing through my body. "Thank you."

—

For the rest of the day I was left alone in a library that contained shelves upon shelves of ancient tomes. I had no light with me but the lamp and no way to tell what time it was. I went among the shelves with the lamp aloft and I was quietly amazed at how rare some of the books were. I even found an old canvass bound copy of Pride and Prejudice that I took down and thumbed through. It opened with a creak and a spider came scuttling out of the pages. I brushed it aside with my bare hand, not jumping, not squealing, nothing, and then I began reading mid-page about Elizabeth's confused feelings for Mr Darcy.

It was hours before Jane came to fetch me and she took me back to the room I had woken up in and told me to wash. I asked her why, but she wouldn't tell me. She only smiled and waited by til I was done and then offered me some scented oils to wear. I looked at her strangely. I didn't think an underground prison was the most romantic place for a date—especially not with the two women who were direct rivals over my heart—but I didn't object to a little perfume. Jane also bid me to put on some makeup as well and she even brushed my hair for me as I regarded myself in a little goldplated handmirror. My hair had grown slightly since I first had it cut and it seemed sexier than ever, my neck and faceshape completely exposed while black bangs fell sexily across my dark and slanted eyes. I had no idea what I was getting prettied up for, but it didn't matter. I didn't even know what I was going to say to them. All I knew was that something needed to be said. There had to be some kind of closure before tomorrow. Some kind of assurance, although I had no idea what kind.

Finally Jane gave me some robes to wear and no underwear. I was beginning to suspect she thought this was supposed to be some kind of conjugal visit. Maybe vampires didn't mind doing it in dirty rat infested cells, but I could guarantee that I wasn't. Still, I put on the robes. They were sapphire, just like Jane's, and they had gold embroidery around the sleeves. The material was satin and it felt smooth and cool against my skin. Jane had watched me dress the entire time and yet it didn't make me uncomfortable. She had the air of one accustomed to the duties of a handmaiden and she assessed my appearance with her large red eyes and then she smiled and nodded and beckoned for me to follow.

The shoes on my feet were high heels and I walked with the robes very tight around my nakedness in case we bumped into anyone. We didn't. I was still amazed at how huge this underground complex was—so much more than a catacomb—and after a while I began to wonder if we were even going to the cellblock. I didn't recognize the corridor and there were no tombs here, just clean stonewalls and a red carpet underfoot. I turned and looked back and then I looked at Jane.

"This isn't the way to the cells," I said.

She smiled at me, her face small and devilish in the lamplight. "No."

I was going to inquire further, but there was a door up ahead. A wooden door, polished, with a gold doorknob. Jane shifted the lamp to her other hand and opened the door for me. I looked at her for a moment and then I went in.

It was some kind of bedchamber, a boudoir fit for a queen. The floors were polished floorboards and there were persian rugs beneath antique furniture of settees and sofas and there was a large fireplace that crackled and illuminated the whole room. Against the opposite wall was an enormous bed with gold pillars and winecolored curtains that were pulled back and tied with gold cords and on the bed was—

Alice and Victoria.

My mouth dropped open. They had been arranged on the bed like slaves awaiting a mistress, both of them clad in nothing but lace lingerie, Alice in black, Victoria in red, and they were kneeling on the bedspread with their wrists chained like prisoners to the pillars of the bed. Their heads had been slumped but they looked up when I came in with a sudden hope in their eyes, as if they had been dreading far worse and were relieved it was only me. I was taken completely aback at finding them like this and I spun to Jane and gasped:

"What the fuck?"

Jane smiled at the women on the bed and turned the smile to me cheekily. "I prepared them for you," she said. "They are under strict orders not to break the chains."

Then she backed toward the door, taking the lamp with her. She paused to smirk at the women on the bed one last time, as if she wasn't into chicks personally but could understand the appeal, and then winked at me.

"Have fun," she said, then she pulled closed the door.

I spun back to Alice and Victoria, clutching the robe around my body, remembering that I was naked underneath and scented with perfume and—

And what? Did Jane honestly think THIS is what I had been implying when I said I wanted to see them one last time? These were women I loved, not women I wanted to chain up and abuse, for fuck's sake.

I blinked at them, not knowing what to say and ashamed for what happened to them. The fireplace was ticking and crackling away behind me and the room was filled with candles that burned everywhere in candleholders and candelabras. It was bright and warm in the room and almost romantic aside from those iron chains clamped around their slender and pale wrists. Victoria was watching me silently, with much the same expression as my own, and Alice had hung her head again. I looked at them and my throat when tight as my eyes unwillingly devoured their costumes. Victoria's pale breasts were bundled and bunched in a red lace corset and her pale thighs were shimmering in the candlelight. Alice wore a corset as well, black lace, and she sat with her naked legs tucked under her and black shoes on her feet. Her face was in full makeup and yet her expression was as empty as a doll's, as if she had been so devastated by the last few days that there was just nothing left inside her. I swallowed away the tightness in my throat and took a step toward the bed.

"I wanted to see you again," I said, my voice quivering only slightly. "Just in case something goes wrong tomorrow. Do you know what's happening? Have they explained the plan to you?"

Victoria nodded slowly. Her red hair matched her red lingerie and it was tumbled about her pale shoulders and as bright and brilliant as the candleflames. I nodded as well. I didn't know what else to say.

"I just wanted to tell you guys to hang in there," I said finally. "There'll be a lot of danger tomorrow, but after that…"

I trailed off. Alice still had her head hung and Victoria was watching me sadly as if there wasn't much fight left in her either. I took a deep breath and tried to harden my voice.

"After that, we're going to get out of here," I said. "All three of us. I'm not going to abandon either of you. No matter what it takes, I'm going to take you both out of here. I promise."

Alice finally looked up slightly. As if she didn't deserve to be included. Her eyes were filled with an unfathomable sadness and sense of failure and only the tiniest flicker of hope. I tried to give her a smile and looked at Victoria. Victoria tried to smile as well. But the feelings between all three of us had become so complicated and tainted and twisted by all the mistakes we had made and all the small betrayals that my promises were as hollow as the hearts in our chests.

Alice had lied to me and taken advantage of me.

I had slept with Alice and led us here to Volterra.

Victoria almost fucked James and spent the first part of our relationship trying to kill me.

Yet through all that, we were still here. The three of us. My feelings for them had not diminished and I could only pray their feelings for me had not diminished either.

"Say something, you guys," I said, my voice finally breaking. "Just tell me everything's going to be alright. Please."

I looked at them imploringly, trying not to cry. They looked at each other across the bed, kneeling there in their chains and lingerie, and looked back at me. Victoria could see the pain and uncertainty in my face and in the end she just smiled and shook her head.

"I love you, Bella," she said simply. "That's all I know. And it's never going to change. No matter what. You're everything to me and all I want is to be with you. Forever."

Victoria's words filled me with so much joy that I almost burst into tears. But I managed to contain myself with a deep and trembling breath. Alice had been watching Victoria speak and there was no jealousy in her face. Only sadness and rue and perhaps satisfaction. As if she was glad Victoria hadn't given up on me because Alice herself finally had.

I looked at her and back at Victoria.

"Have you guys talked?" I asked.

Victoria shook her head and looked at Alice. "She doesn't speak. She's been almost catatonic ever since you told her the truth about her mate."

With the attention on her, Alice hung her head again. I took another step toward the bed and spoke softly, almost like how you'd speak to a child.

"Alice? Have you had any visions of tomorrow? Do you know what's going to happen?"

"No," she whispered, shaking her head. "I just want to die."

"Alice, don't say that."

"Why not? What do I have left to live for?"

"Me," I told her emphatically. "You have me."

"No, I don't," she murmured.

Her face was turned aside, her chained hands in her lap, small and sad and woefully decadent in her lingerie. I looked at her and turned to Victoria. Victoria had been watching her sadly too, as if she finally understood the pain the other woman was in, and then she turned to me and gave me a sad little nod.

I wasn't sure what the nod meant, but it felt like permission. I smiled at her with the same sadness and then I climbed into the bed. Alice's face turned slightly as my weight tilted the mattress but she didn't look at me. I crawled over to her, keeping my robes closed, and then I took her face in my hands.

"Alice," I said. "Alice, look at me."

Finally she lifted her head. I was kneeling before her and cupping her whole face in my hands and I looked directly into her eyes as I spoke.

"You are my bestfriend," I told her. "You always were. And I know things seem bleak right now, but you have to be strong. We'll get through this, okay? And I'll always be here to help you through it."

My words made her lip tremble. As if she didn't want to believe it.

"Why don't you hate me?" she asked in a frail whisper. "I'm awful. I did everything wrong. I hurt you. I betrayed you. I—"

I touched a finger to her lips and shook my head.

"I could never hate you, Alice," I said, and then I leaned and wrapped her into a hug.

I heard her sniff and for a long time I just held her, letting her feel that it was okay, that I didn't hate her, that I was always going to love her. I could feel Victoria watching me from the other side of the bed and I only hoped she would understand. I couldn't change how I felt and I couldn't change how much Alice meant to me.

"I love you, Bella," Alice whispered brokenly. "I love you so much."

She whimpered and shuddered a little sob in my arms. I stroked her back and rocked her and over her shoulder I could see a ring of keys hanging from the corner of the headboard. There was only one key on the ring and somehow I knew what the key was for. I stroked Alice for a little bit more and then I released her and got the key.

They were both watching me and without speaking I unlocked Alice first, the key slipping easily into the lock on the heavy iron cuffs. She took them off and pushed them aside and the first thing she did was wipe her eyes even those her eyes were completely dry and unable to cry.

Victoria waited patiently and her eye met mine as I unlocked her chains. It blinked at me slowly, almost like a wink beside her eyepatch, and I was relieved at what was in it. No jealousy, no judgementalness. Just love. Pure and unconditional. Her cuffs came away and she rubbed her wrists elegantly, almost passively, as if the sudden freedom changed nothing about her submission to whatever was to come.

I turned and tossed the key away. It landed with a clatter on the ground. Then I turned back to Alice and Victoria. They had risen slightly on their knees, watching me, their naked legs folded beneath them, sinful and slavish in their lace lingerie, Alice in black, Victoria and red. My robes were tied with a sash around my waist and now I undid the sash, my heart hammering beneath the sapphire satin.

"This might be our final night together," I said. "I wish my feelings weren't so selfish, but all I can say is that I love both of you with all my heart and I can't live without either of you. So…"

I shrugged out of the robe, kneeling there in the bed, and both the heat of their eyes and the warmth of the candlelight washed over my nakedness. My breasts. My belly. Their mouths were open and after their eyes had soaked up the sight of my body they lifted to mine.

I smiled weakly and gave a helpless shrug to offer myself.

"I want you both," I said. "Please accept me."

Time seemed to stand still for a moment. The candleflames frozen. Then slowly Alice and Victoria turned to look at each other. If they had hearts, I could only imagine how hard they would've been beating.

Finally they turned back to me. I was sitting there, naked, my body nothing but a soft shape of helplessness with every vanity stripped away and nothing left but the complete and utter desire to be possessed by the women that I love. Both of them.

They glanced at each other again and then they crawled toward me. It was only a couple feet. They stopped right in front of me, side by side. Neither spoke. I didn't either. They looked at each other again and Alice's eyes seemed to seek permission. Victoria's eye seemed to grant it. Alice then turned back to me and took my face in her hands. Victoria watched and then she added her hands to Alice's. My cheeks were on fire under their palms and I looked at them, leaning forward slightly, waiting, anxious, pleading. They shared another glance, Alice again requesting permission and Victoria again bestowing it. Then Alice turned back to me and pulled me gently into a kiss. Just her lips at first. Then a little bit of tongue. My eyes closed and rolled at the sublime sinfulness of such a kiss. But before deepening it any further she disconnected our lips and turned to Victoria, as if to make sure it was okay. Victoria had darkened slightly, but only slightly, and now it was her who pulled me into a kiss. I went into it, again closing my eyes. She gave me a little bit of her tongue as well and I opened my mouth to accept it. Finally she pulled back and looked at Alice with just a hint of haughtiness but Alice only smiled impishly and pulled me into another kiss. I let her and I opened my mouth for her tongue as well. There were four different hands holding my face, two pairs of the two women that I loved, and for a long time we knelt there in the bed while they shared my mouth between them, generously, cooperatively. Lovingly.

Before long they even seemed to somewhat relish the taste of each other's saliva on my mouth. The kiss soon became very heated and I found my face being pulled this way and that until my eyes simply remained closed and I lost track entirely of who's mouth it was that covered mine. Maybe Alice's, maybe Victoria's. It didn't matter, because they were both the same person, and that person was the woman I loved, and I was the woman they loved, and suddenly I found myself flung down on the bed.

My eyes fluttered open to see them crawling toward me like a pair of succubi, shoulders rolling, eyes black, heavy breasts all but spilling from the tight cups of their corsets. I was leaning against the pillows piled against the headboard, breathless, panting. Alice came up on my left and Victoria came up on my right and then they were kissing me again, aggressively, still sharing but finally beginning to fight for dominance. One of them had my chin in her hand and she was passing my mouth back and forth until they were both trying to kiss me at the same time, both of their tongues swarming into my mouth and half splitting my face at the seams until I finally began to fight back, grabbing their faces and kissing them one at a time, forcing the other to wait before grabbing her as well, kissing them and kissing them with rising desperation. Finally I had no breath left to kiss with and I collapsed back against the pillows with a sound that was almost a sob.

They paused and gave me a moment to recover, watching me, still without speaking, and there was so much love and patience in their eyes that suddenly I was ashamed. My face was covered in sweat and my cheeks were bright red and now my eyes were filling with tears. They didn't deserve for me to treat them like this.

"I'm sorry," I wheezed. "I'm so sorry."

But Victoria lifted her hand to my face and brushed a thumb over my lips to silence them. "Don't apologize," she said. "Your feelings for her are a beautiful thing. I see that now."

She looked at Alice. Alice met her gaze graciously and offered her redhaired rival a tentative smile.

"Not as beautiful as her feelings for you," she said.

It was the first time Alice had spoken to her all night. Victoria seemed to appreciate the significance of it. I sniffed my tears away and watched them gaze at each other, Victoria on my right, Alice on my left, their eyes locked over the top of my body, looking past me for the very first time and seeing each other.

Victoria's hand left my face and came up to cup Alice's instead. Alice nuzzled her cheek against it. They continued to gaze at each other and slowly they leaned closer. My heart stopped as the distance closed and then burst as their lips connected.

They were kissing.

Alice and Victoria were kissing each other.

The sight of it filled me with something I couldn't even describe. Awe. Amazement. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and the most love I could ever imagine shared in a kiss. Not love for each other, but love for me, and a willingness to combine that love. Not share it. In that kiss their separate loves for me collided and combined and became something that I was altogether unworthy of.

And yet I wanted it. So much. I watched them with an indescribable longing pumping through my heart and through my entire body. No jealousy. No ill feeling of any kind. They broke the kiss for a moment, just barely, and they turned slightly to look at me with their cheeks still touching. They must've liked what they saw on my face because they smirked at me and turned back to each other and let their eyes close again as their tongues flicked out to continue the kiss.

Soon they were moaning and pushing their lips at each other very aggressively, gaining boldness and even finding expression for all the resentment and jealousy they had harboured for each other all this time. The corners of their mouths were smiling or smirking and their eyes would often open to glare at each other and their teeth collided a couple times as they fought to dominate the other. Yet the more they ventilated their buried hatred the more they seemed to hunger for each other until finally they almost seemed to have forgotten about me and were all but attacking each other's mouths.

They had moved down the bed and they were beginning to outright fuck each other, gripping each other's tits and growling and lunging into kisses. I watched, mesmerized by the sheer outrageousness of it. Victoria and Alice. Rivals. Enemies. And now here they were. Having angry sex right in front of me. Stripping each other out of their lingerie and licking each other's breasts. Throwing away those rags of lace and throwing their arms around each other in a slaverous embrace of hate and lust and love for another woman. Me. Mashing their chests together and their mouths and submitting to whatever feelings were erupting between them, feelings that were beautiful and depraved all at the same time like rotten roses.

I was laying back against the cluster of pillows and now I opened my legs and began to stroke myself. I was unable not to. They threw hot glances at me that seemed to stab into my flesh like knives. My mouth was open and completely dry as I watched them. I watched Victoria's fingernails dig into Alice's round little ass. I watched Alice chew on Victoria's nipple. I watched them pull each other's hair and shove each other around. At once loathing and lusting for one another. All in silence and candlelight. Victoria's hand closed around Alice's thin throat as she forced her tongue into Alice's mouth from a position of dominance. Alice struggled briefly, then went still. Submitting at last to the greater passion of Victoria. Submitting wilfully. Victoria sensed it and smirked and threw her down and mounted her face backwards before swooping down to Alice's wet and waiting vagina. Alice moaned and lifted her own face to Victoria's pussy and together they began to eat each other out with a desperation and hunger that was as sluttish as it was beautiful.

I watched them, eyes wide and hypnotized, listening to their muffled moans. My body had progressed beyond arousal and into a state of elevated euphoria. Like vertigo in my vagina. As if I was floating there in the bed. As if the pillows were clouds. I watched them and listened to their moans and their moans became louder and louder, higher and higher, until finally their fingers dimpled into each other's marble skin as they climaxed with a great cry, together in a terrifying crescendo of forbidden passion that left them trembling and weeping and whimpering into each other's vaginas. It took a long moment for them to stir and slowly they began to kiss and lick at those wet areas between their thighs. Softly now, as if to apologize and make up. As if all the hatred and jealousy between them had been annihilated in that massive orgasm they shared and all that was left was a newfound respect and affection.

I had almost come too but I stayed my hand at the last second. Or maybe I had simply been paralysed by the power of the event I had just witnessed. I wasn't sure, but I didn't speak. No one did. Eventually Victoria rose and dismounted from Alice's face. Alice rose as well. Their mouths were shiny with each other's pussyjuice and they smiled at each other and moved in for a kiss, wrapping their arms around each other and pressing their breasts together intimately.

Then they looked at me.

My heart stopped.

Their eyes were pitch black and lidded and they were still embracing, holding each other as they gazed at me, at my open legs and exposed pussy. Then slowly they released each other and crawled over and began to kiss my mouth, taking it in turns, slowly and methodically. I could taste Victoria's vagina in Alice's mouth and Alice's vagina in Victoria's mouth and they both tasted the same which was delicious and all desirable and then their mouths moved to my breasts, both of them, sucking on a nipple each and licking and kissing at those hard little nubs until I was moaning and flinching and crying out. Then they moved lower again.

I was still propped up against the pillows and I was watching them as they huddled between my legs, side by side, like cats sharing the same saucer of milk. It was Alice who licked first. Then Victoria. I shuddered from each lick, my body so rigid and tense it was on the verge of splitting apart at the seams, and they licked again, taking it in turns, lapping up my warm moisture and moaning and sharing me and watching each other lick before taking a lick themselves, until finally they were licking at the same time. I was watching them with sweat streaming down my agonized face and tears as well and the feeling in my chest was like I wanted to rip my heart in half and give them one each. Love so acute it was painful. So painful it was incredible. I moaned and shuddered under their tongues and whimpered and sobbed and finally Victoria fastened her lips to the throbbing nub of my clit while Alice inserted her tongue into my vagina and together, together, they bought me to a soul shattering climax that made me grip my head and scream into the ceiling and realize now and forevermore that I would truly never again be able to exist in this life without these two women in it.

—


	30. Chapter 30

—

Chapter 30:

—

The execution was the next night and it was held above ground, under the full moon they had been waiting for.

There was a place not far from town where an ancient stone amphitheatre sat in the hills like the ruin of some ancient temple. It was approaching midnight and a low mist rose from the rocks and swirled and eddied gently in a cool nightwind. Stone columns lay broken about the floor. In the center of the amphitheatre were three stone altars that lay bare and bluish in the moonlight. I looked down at them from a balcony above with a heavy heart. My role in the coming battle was little more than a spectator and after last night I had more reason than ever to hope that all this would soon be over. For the first time in my life I had genuine hope and eagerness for the future because from now on I would never have to divide my feelings between Victoria and Alice. From now on, I had them both.

Assuming we survived.

I turned and glanced at Jane. She smiled and her skin seemed to wax brighter than the moon. She had been my shadow all day and we were dressed identically in cloaks and hoods, almost uniformed, as if they already did count me as part of Aro's guard. The balcony we stood on over looked the amphitheatre, where witnesses in black hoods were gathering in a ring around the altars—including Jasper and James—and behind us on stone thrones sat the three Volturi leaders. Marcus, gazing out over the hills with his usual apathy, Caius, slumped and bored-looking, and Aro in the center, smiling and looking about and rubbing his hands excitedly like a man waiting to see a play.

My eyes lingered on Caius but not long enough to be suspicious. He noticed me looking at him and glared at me with his sharp red eyes until I looked away again. My heart began slamming against my chest and Jane slipped her hand around mine and gave it a squeeze as she leaned to whisper to me softly.

"We can hear your heart," she said.

That, naturally, made me panic even more, as if my heartbeat might betray our plan to the vampire king behind us, but Jane only smiled.

"Worry not for your friends," she said. "They won't suffer."

Ironically, her words gave me great relief—mostly because it was an explanation for my heartbeat. Caius assume that I was simply scared for my friends, not that we were about to overthrow him. I glanced back at the Volturi leaders and Caius looked at me dryly and Aro smiled a secretive little smile and Marcus merely continued to gaze out across the moonbleached mountains.

I turned back to the altars. They seemed very far below from this upper balcony. The sky was cloudless and sprent with stars and yet despite the brightness of the night there were braziers set up around the altars, brass furnaces that held bowls of coals and flames that rose three feet or more. Buried within each brazier were mediaeval swords, like pins in a pincushion, and the blades of the swords were glowing yellow hot among the embers. No one had explained anything to me, but I had a feeling those superheated swords were supposed to be used for beheading vampires—if the ceremony actually got that far.

Directly below the balcony was the entrance to the catacombs and finally they bought out the victims. Alice, Victoria, and Edward. They were in chains and all three of them were naked, a sight that caused me to bite my tongue in rage. I guess it was supposed to be some kind of humiliation. They were led to the altars by two women in white robes, like temple maidens, and there they were made to turn around and face the balcony. Their skin was luminescent in the moonlight and even in this situation the perfection of Victoria and Alice's bodies was not lost on me. They were both looking at me up there on the balcony and I looked back, my eyes darting between them, fighting to look at them both at once. Edward lowered his head painfully, assaulted on either side by the love-filled thoughts of Alice and Victoria, and he didn't look up.

None of the Volturi leaders rose or registered their arrival and the ceremony proceeded in silence. The witnesses in black stood in an orderly ring and the two women in white had taken bottles of oil from the altar and they began rubbing the oil into the naked skin of the victims, beginning with Alice and Victoria.

This was too much to bear, watching my lovers molested like this, and my face moved into a scowl.

"What the hell is this shit?" I demanded to Jane.

Jane glanced at Aro and turned to me. "The oil is flammable," she explained. "And the burning swords will be used to behead them."

"Shh, Ms Swan," Aro said gently from his throne. "Watch quietly. Death can be a beautiful thing. They have a combined age of over six hundred years. Think of that. And think how many centuries were yet ahead of them. Centuries of love, sorrow, happiness. And now all of it soon to be consumed in flames. Everything they ever were or were ever going to be. All of it. Such a moment deserves silence and respect."

I glared at him. "Then why the fuck are you still talking?"

Aro smiled and I tried not to be nervous. He was probably only acting his part, but I didn't think I would ever be able to trust him.

I turned back to the ceremony and my throat tightened as the hands of those women in white massaged oil into the breasts of Alice and Victoria and into their shoulders as well and their arms and their legs. Then they moved on to Edward.

"Here in Volterra we have a great reverence for death," Aro said from behind me. "A tradition that has persisted for over a thousand years."

I glared over my shoulder. "Did you have reverence for those tourists before you slaughtered them? Say what you want, it's just murder."

"You speak truer than you know and yet you understand nothing of what you speak," he said with a smile and I just turned away.

By now the women in white were done with Edward and they were donning Alice and Victoria in satin robes that were bright red, dark in the moonlight, shimmering wetly like blood. I was glad they were going to be covered up. Vampire skin was stronger than steel, but that didn't mean it was appropriate to fight a coup in complete nudity.

Aro continued speaking behind me.

"This is not simply murder," he said. "This is a ceremony. A ritual, in fact. Here we are committed to an act of a certain significance. An elevated form of murder, if you will. A series of steps which is in itself a show of respect to the act and the agency. At first the steps may appear odd or without purpose. Witnesses are gathered. The victims are prepared and anointed with oils. But it is through these steps we seek to empower the act and imbue it with a significance that it would not have otherwise. For make no mistake, such rituals are solely for the benefit of the victims. Not for us, oh no. One could even argue that the conductors of such a ritual are but themselves merely instruments of a higher conductor, and can you guess who that conductor is? Destiny. The victims may be unwilling, of course, but it is not their own will we honor here, but rather the will of destiny which has called them forth and now demands their blood. For we mustn't forget that it was their own mistakes that led them here. Were these mistakes within their control? Perhaps not. But those mistakes stand regardless and fire is the only thing that can purge them. Eh, Caius?"

The conclusion of his little speech startled me and it seemed to startle Caius too. I glanced back at them. Caius had stirred from his boredom an frowned at Aro. Aro was smiling and I realized that his whole speech had been secretly directed at Caius.

"We should just execute them and be done with it," Caius said. "This ritual is nonsense."

Aro sighed, as if Caius had just proved his point somehow, and now he rose from his throne and smiled at me. "You see what I mean, Ms Swan?" he asked, gesturing at the younger king. "It is truly a shame how victims are unable to appreciate their own murder. Especially when so much care is put into it."

My heart was beginning to slam up against my chest again and my breathing went deep. This was it. It was happening now. Caius glanced at me and then he rose as well, turning to Aro with his face darkening in confusion.

"What did you say?"

Aro smiled and then suddenly there was a commotion from below. Two loud screams pierced the night, both female, and I spun back to the balustrade of the balcony in a blind panic, fearing that Alice and Victoria—

But no.

It was the women in white.

Alice and Victoria had each drawn swords from the nearby braziers and lopped off an arm each of the women who'd oiled them and now they spun around in the billowing material of their crimson robes and severed the screaming heads directly from their bodies.

Edward calmly broke his chains and rubbed his wrists, looking about. All around them the witnesses in black where throwing back their hoods, the first among them Jasper and James. Among those witnesses were supporters of Aro and supporters of Caius and a sudden melee broke out between them.

Caius ran to the balustrade of the balcony and his voice boomed out over the amphitheatre.

"What is the meaning of this?! Seize them!"

Volturi guards were swarming in from the catacombs, some of them on Aro's side, some of them on Caius's side, and soon the entire amphitheatre was a frenzy of black robes fluttering like bat wings with the red figures of Alice and Victoria among them like demons, hacking down their enemies with their blazing swords like the very wrath of hell.

Caius was staring at all this in disbelief as it slowly dawned on him what was happening. His flaxen hair had fallen into his face and his face was pale as bone. I had shrunk back against Jane and now Aro smiled and put a hand on Caius's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Caius," he said. "We've been friends for a long time, and it pains me to say this, but…"

But of a sudden he seem to lose the will for his theatrics and he just shook his head.

"Actually, it doesn't pain me at all," he said. "Jane?"

Jane stepped forward. Caius spun around and—

Suddenly he was on the ground, screaming and twisting in pain. Marcus hadn't even glanced. He was still staring out at those misty mountains, elbow on the armrest, chin in his hand. Jane smiled and focused her power, silent and lethal, her eyes almost glowing. Adrenaline had shot into my veins and I remembered that this prick on the floor was the same prick who wanted to kill me, kill Alice, kill Victoria, and suddenly I punted him in the head.

It was like kicking a statue, but strangely satisfying, and I punted him again and again, my boot thudding off his face as he writhed in pain.

"Fucking asshole," I growled.

My display of rage must've been so unintentionally comedic that Jane giggled at me. Unfortunately, this caused her concentration to slip, and suddenly Caius rose in an eruption of robes, breaking free from Jane's illusion of torment, and his hands shot out to grip our throats, one around mine, one around Jane's, his eyes burning with bright red rage.

My neck would've snapped almost instantly, but Jane saved me at what turned out to be her own expense. It happened so fast. She swatted his hand away from me and I had the briefest glimpse of her eyes. Concerned for me. Protective.

Then Caius ripped off her head.

I watched in utter shock, gripping my throat while the battle continued below. Jane's blonde head hit the ground, eyes still open, and her body slumped beside it, black blood pumping from the stump jutting from her shoulders.

Caius spun to Aro but Aro was as shocked as I was. His eyes were filled with the first genuine emotion I had ever seen from him and he cried out:

"Jane!"

But then Caius's hand closed around his throat and the younger ruler jerked the elder forward, face to face, almost into a seething kiss.

"Traitor…!" he hissed.

My eyes filled with tears for Jane, hoping her injury wasn't lethal and she'd be able to be put back together. I looked up. Aro was suspended in the air by his throat, his boots kicking, Caius holding him aloft. Without thinking, I flew at Caius's back, screaming and beating him around his head with balled fists and blows so hard they almost broke my hands.

Caius dropped Aro and turned around in a slow and incredulous rage. He looked at me as if he couldn't believe it. As if the sheer audacity of my attack was the most indignant insult he'd suffered in centuries. I backed down in fear from the absolute death that brooded in the dark scarlet of his eyes and then I turned to run.

But his hand closed in my hair and suddenly my skull bounced off the balustrade of the balcony, leaving a splotch of blood in the rough stone. In the afterclap of that collision, my head went completely silent. Not a sound. My bones seem to come apart. The world rolled.

I was positive I was going to die, but I didn't. Still clutching my hair, Caius jumped off the balcony, dragging me with him. I could see the sky on the way down, so many stars, turning, revolving, and one of my legs snapped under me as we hit the ground.

The pain bought me back to reality and suddenly my head was filled again with noise, with snarls and growls of the frenzied vampires, with the clang of swords, with my own screaming.

Caius was dragging me directly into the melee, my broken leg dragging loosely along the stones, and I had begun to twist and struggle weakly. Two of Aro's guards saw Caius and charged him with yellow hot swords. He caught the wrist of the first one and used his sword to deflect the other's in a clash of sparks and then he disarmed him and kicked his shin to make him kneel before cutting off his head and spinning with the same stroke to behead the other one as well, all while dragging me behind me and without losing a single step.

The battle was still raging and now Caius paused to survey the carnage. Body parts laying in the low carpet of mist, blood on the stone, vampires on fire. Then he growled under his breath and strode forward into the bedlam like a reaper, billowing in black robes with the tip of the sword scrapping on the stones at one side and the near lifeless body of me dragging at the other.

The rest was only a blur. I could hardly see anything. I was in so much pain and my scalp was burning and I only had glimpses as Caius spun and twirled and dismembered his former brethren in a terrifying display of rage and swordsmanship, lopping off arms and heads, impaling his enemies through their chests and booting them back, spinning to deal with more attackers and swinging my body by the hair like a club, my ribs breaking up in my chest from each collision, crying out, blood running from my mouth.

"Bella!"

Alice's voice. High pitched, terrified. Then I could see her. Her and Victoria. Both of them coming to my rescue. They each had fresh swords and they engaged Caius at the same time but even the both of them could not outmatch him. He fended them off with snarls and vicious slashes of his sword, cutting open Alice's face, slicing a gash into Victoria's thigh.

They ignored their injuries and fought on, finally beginning to back Caius down, and then suddenly there was a shift in the battle. The last of Caius's supporters seemed to fall and at last he seemed to be on his own, fighting not only Alice and Victoria but an entire array of enemies that swung at him with swords, his own sword moving with blinding speed as he fended them all away, seemingly effortlessly and yet unable to gain an advantage.

Then suddenly it stopped. I was weeping and battered and laying at his feet with my head dangling by the clutch of hair in his hand and when I looked up with my split and bloody face I saw that we were surrounded. Caius was standing before one of the altars in the very center of the amphitheatre and he was completely encircled by Aro's guard, foremost among them Alice and Victoria.

Caius wrenched me to my feet and stuck the point of the sword under my chin.

"Back!" he shouted, mostly at Alice and Victoria. "Stay back or she dies!"

I whimpered. The sword had cooled but it was still cherry red and the steel sizzled against my skin in an agony that was almost minor compared to everything I had already been through. I couldn't even put weight on my legs. They were both broken, each in several places. I was being held up by nothing but my hair and if my hair broke I would fall directly through the tip of the blade under my chin.

Blood had ran into my eyes but I could see Alice and Victoria. They were quivering with rage, fear, the desire to help me and the despair of being unable to. I'm not sure what would've happened, but that's when Aro came through the crowd.

The combatants parted for him and he stepped into the ring that surrounded his former co-ruler and smiled at him.

"It's over, Caius," he said. "Come peacefully, old friend."

Caius seethed at him. There was blood on his face and hair but it wasn't his blood and he seemed hardly injured at all. "Stay back," he said. "Or the girl dies."

Aro chuckled once at that and gestured breezily with a hand. "Kill her," he said. "Please, by all means. Her purpose has ran its course."

Yet as soon as he said it, two swords instantly swung and stopped mere millimetres from his throat.

Alice and Victoria's.

"Wait, delay that," Aro said, chuckling awkwardly and shying slightly from those glowing hot blades. "Perhaps she has a little bit of purpose left."

Alice and Victoria glared at him mercilessly. By now they had swords at their own throats from Aro's guards but they paid them no heed. It was Victoria who spoke.

"If Bella dies, you die," she said.

Jasper and James and Edward were also in deadlock with Aro's guards. There were red swords and red eyes everywhere, shifting, glancing, waiting for even the slightest signal to bring the entire truce crashing down.

And all of it pinned on me and the sword under my chin.

Aro sighed at all this and he seemed to speak to me more than anyone. "You see, this is why I've always despised violent confrontation," he said. "No matter how patient you are or how well you plan, things always go wrong. Man plans and god laughs, as they say."

Caius ignored him and spoke to Victoria and Alice.

"Execute him and I will let you and your friends live," he said.

Aro pretended to be shocked and hurt. "Execute me? Caius, how could you? I thought we were friends."

"Silence, buffoon," hissed Caius. Then he turned to Victoria, somehow sensing her to be the more vicious of the pair. "Do it now. Don't fear his guards. With Aro dead, they _will_ capitulate before me."

Aro's guards did seem uncertain and not all confident in how things were going. Victoria glanced at Aro and then at Alice. Alice held her gaze for a minute, as if they were trying to align their intentions, and then Alice turned to Caius with a hateful glare.

"Why should we trust you?" she demanded. "Look at what you've already done to her!"

Caius snorted and hefted my by the hair. "Because I have no use for you," he said. "Or your friends. Dispose of Aro and you may leave here forever and never return. But if you side with Aro…Aro will keep you here forever. He will take your mate and turn her to his own purposes. You cannot trust him."

Aro still had those red hot swords at his throat but he chuckled lightly enough. "Caius, please," he said. "You need to compose yourself. Is this the legacy you want to leave behind? Begging and pleading? Do the right thing, old friend. You know I'm only acting in the greater interest of the Volturi."

"Shut up, fool."

"Oh, Caius. You do yourself a disservice. After all, if you don't respect me, how will you respect yourself? Look at where you are."

Caius snorted and glared across that cold and misty amphitheatre. He was surrounded by enemies but Aro had swords at his own throat as well.

"I'm in the same place you are, old friend," he said.

Aro conceded the point with a slight smile. "Perhaps," he said, "but I'm sure you'll have to agree that you're ground is far more tenuous than mine."

"Tenuous? You think this is tenuous? No, Aro. How many of your guards did I dispose of singlehandedly just now? How many more will die when they come for my head? I will kill every last one of you if I have to."

Caius glared about at the ring of traitors. I whimpered, sniffing, so much agony. Victoria and Alice were staring at nothing but me, their swords at Aro's throat, and Aro sighed.

"I don't suppose we could settle this without any more bloodshed?" he asked. "Particularly mine?"

But Caius was done playing and he barked at Victoria suddenly.

"Kill him! Kill him or she dies now!"

Victoria and Alice turned to Aro, their faces twisted in conflict, and Aro must've seen that they did intend to kill him in order to save me. He sighed and then he smiled at me.

"Ah, Ms Swan," he said. "You were the centrepiece to my plan and now perhaps my undoing. Fate does have a strong sense of irony, does it not?"

"Kill him!" Caius commanded.

Victoria and Alice hesitated for just a second and that's when I grabbed Caius's sword with my bare hands.

I didn't even know I was going to do it. All I knew was that I couldn't let this bastard have the satisfaction of winning and I couldn't let Alice and Victoria endanger themselves. So I grabbed the blade with both of my hands and wrenched it away from my chin. The blade was still red hot and my skin was sizzling. The sword itself sliced into my palms and the blood that ran down the steel cooked almost instantly into its surface. The sudden movement shocked everyone in that stone amphitheatre, including Caius, and the shock was only magnified as I wrenched the blade again and stabbed the tip of it into Caius's stomach.

The scream that came out of him was the only sound in the entire night. But it wasn't a mortal wound, and it only seem to enrage him. He withdrew the sword from his stomach and bashed my face with the pommel. My nose burst in an eruption of blood and the world went dim.

"Bella!" Alice screamed.

Caius lifted his sword at them. "Stay back! Stay back or she dies!"

Both Alice and Victoria had dropped their swords from Aro's throat and both of them had stepped toward Caius. I was whimpering and choking on the blood running down the back of my throat. Yet somehow I grinned at them. They saw the grin and it seemed to give them strength. Caius was expecting them to attack but they only glared at him and it was Alice who spoke.

"No," she said. "I've seen it in a vision. You're not going to kill Bella. Bella is going to kill _you_."

Caius's lip curled up in disgust, as if he didn't know whether to be incredulous or to simply slaughter me now for her impudence.

"Kill me? Are you insane?"

He turned to me and lifted his sword.

"She is mortal!"

He bashed me with the pommel again, caving in my cheekbone.

"She is weak!"

Again, knocking half my teeth out. I had gone limp and the only thing holding me up was his grip in my hair. My eyes fluttered brokenly and looked at him. His red eyes glowed at me.

"She is nothing but food," he hissed, and then he bit me.

His teeth locked into my neck and he would've ripped out my jugular if Victoria and Alice had not thrown their swords at him at the exact same moment. He released me instantly and let me fall, spinning to deflect both blades, swatting them away with own.

I saw them clatter to the floor and disappear into the mist. Then I started crawling away.

Caius was still glaring at Alice and Victoria, forgetting about me for the moment. "So this is your choice?" he demanded. "You will side with Aro?"

Neither of them answered. I was still crawling, toward one of the braziers, struggling across the stones on my elbows with my shattered legs dragging behind me in a trail of blood. No pain. Not anymore.

Caius lifted his sword and pointed it in judgement at his ring of enemies. "And all the rest of you? Is Aro the one you choose?!"

I was almost at the brazier. I heard him snort behind me.

"Very well," he said. "You are all hereby sentenced to death."

He turned and came toward me.

"Beginning with this pathetic little—"

He grabbed my shoulder to flip me over. But I reached for the rim of the brazier with my bare and broken hand and pulled the entire furnace down on top of us.

The bulk of it landed on Caius as he had been bending down to dispatch me. The basket of embers spilled over his head and his back and he flailed upright again in a flare of sparks with a cloak of flame across his shoulders and all the small coals filling the folds of his robes and setting the material alight until he was entirely ablaze, staggering backwards in silence as his vocal cords were incinerated and swaying and stumbling and slashing at the air with his sword as if to fend away the flames.

But this was one enemy he could not overcome with strength and soon the sword slipped from his hand and clattered on the stone and then Caius too toppled over into that shallow mist, crumpled in a fiery heap like something being called to hell.

Every other sword in that amphitheatre had been lowered. Everyone was staring. Silent. Shocked. A two thousand year old vampire king, defeated by a human girl. Victoria stood by Alice and Alice was frozen with a frozen smile of fragile joy, her vision come true but at what cost? No one ran forward to help Caius. No one ran forward to help me. I didn't even want help. My own robes were scorched and blackened and the scent of seared flesh hung in the air around me but there was still no pain. Not yet. Blood was dripping from my neck and my mouth and my nose as well and I was crawling through the low blanket of mist that lay over the stone floor toward Caius's sword that had fallen by his side.

The steel was burnt and pitch black and I took it by the hilt and used it to struggle up slightly. Caius was still alive and now I swung one of my broken legs over him and straddled his burning body. The flames licked up and consumed my own robes and I couldn't even feel them. He looked up at me, his skin blistering and melting away, and I lifted the sword and stabbed it through his face with both hands. Once. Twice. Three times. Grunting and crying and trying to lift the sword for a fourth time. But the sword was lodged into the stone and I couldn't lift it anymore and he was dead by now and his body was disintegrating to ash.

Finally I just let go of the sword and toppled over. Someone caught me before I hit the stones. Alice and Victoria. They patted away the flames in my robes with robes they'd snatched off dead bodies and laid me down in the mist gently.

"Oh god," Alice was saying. "Bella? Bella? Oh god."

Victoria cupped my face wordlessly, her expression torn beyond all grief. I gave her a bloody and toothless smirk. The sound of someone clapping rang through the night and now Aro came striding forward with a wide smile.

"Well, Ms Swan," he said. "It seems I was wise after all to set you as my centrepiece. Well done. If you survive, you have my word to be handsomely rewarded. No hard feelings about when I told him to kill you, eh?"

"Fuck you," I muttered through my broken mouth, jaw, cheekbone.

Alice was now cupping the other side of my face. Both her and Victoria were kneeling either side of me like nurses. Alice took up my limp wrist and felt for a pulse.

"She's dying," she said. "If we don't pump as much venom into her system as possible, she's not going to make it. She has to be turned."

I closed my eyes. No pain. Just coldness.

"I love you," I whispered, to Alice, Victoria, both. "I love…"

But Victoria shook me gently. "No," she said. "Don't start talking like that, Bella. Don't you dare."

I opened my eyes again. Alice kissed my forehead and Victoria did as well.

"We'll have to do it together," she said to Victoria. "Are you ready?"

Victorian nodded. They were both holding a wrist each, ready to bite and send their venom into my veins. Aro had taken a seat on one of the altars, like a man at a bus stop, and James, Jasper, Edward, and everyone else was watching. My head turned loosely to Alice.

"Alice…"

"Yes, Bella?"

"Your visions. Do you see anything?"

She smiled and it was a smile beaming with hope and happiness even beyond the grief for my current pain. "Yes," she whispered. "I see that you're going to became a beautiful and strong vampire and from now on everything is going to be absolutely perfect. Trust me, okay?"

I did. I truly did. Vision or not, I had known before I even asked that from now on nothing was going to get in the way of our happiness. I smiled at her and then smiled at Victoria. Victoria smiled as well, stroking my face. I let my eyes fall closed and then I felt their cool lips at my wrists. Their teeth began to bite, gently, so gently, Alice at one wrist, Victoria at the other, and slowly I began to feel their venom pump into my system, cold, painless, peaceful.

—


	31. Chapter 31

—

Chapter 31:

—

The pain came when I woke up. I didn't know where I was. It was bright light, searingly bright, and if it wasn't for the pain I might've thought I died and went to heaven—because the first things I saw were Alice and Victoria, bathed in a corona of that brilliant light.

They were watching over me, somewhere, wherever I was, and they were holding me down as my body shuddered and buckled in agony. My broken bones felt like razor blades embedded inside me. Sunlight was falling from a gaping hole in a wooden roof and I realized we weren't in the catacombs. It seemed to be some kind of church. Abandoned. Empty. Stone walls and stained glass windows. I had been laid on the floor at the foot of the altar. Alice and Victoria were kneeling at my side and their faces were sparkling in the sunlight and as I looked up I could see that they were each silhouetted against statues of angels with spread wings so that it looked like they had wings themselves.

They smiled weakly at my fluttering eyes, happy I was conscious but distressed over my pain as well, and struggled to hold me still, as if I was already vampire strong. The venom had already done strange things to my body. I could see every mote of dust in the golden air and my throat felt like it was on fire. I didn't know if I would be able to speak, but I did.

"Where am I?" I gasped.

Alice smiled at the sound of my voice, labored as it was. "We persuaded Aro to let you change in private," she said. "We didn't think you'd want to be in those catacombs."

"T-thank you…"

My voice jerked and shuddered and I seemed to be trying to move, as if to roll away from the pain. But Victoria placed a hand on my forehead and stroked me back down.

"Shh," she said. "Just try to be still. It's going to be very painful, but you're going to be okay. Your skin is already beginning to sparkle…"

I felt a surprising flutter in my heart at that, a briefest flicker of joy within the agony. I managed to lift my hand and look at it. My fingers shimmered just barely and I smiled. Then my eyes rolled as a wave of pain swept over me and suddenly my throat was chugging down gulps of air.

"Are you alright?" Alice asked, her voice raising in panic.

I squeezed shut my eyes. "My throat…"

"Here," Victoria said, lifting me slightly and placing a cup at my lips. "Drink this.

Instantly the scent of the liquid contained in the cup sent me into waves of euphoria. It was blood. She was tipping it to my lips and the taste sent me into even more contractions.

Alice petting my head, keeping me calm. I licked my lips, feverishly, desperately. Victoria was waiting by with the cup. The cup was tin, perhaps something once used for sacrament in this very church.

"Where did the blood come from?" I asked shudderingly.

"Drained from an animal," Victoria told me, again placing it at my lips. "Don't worry."

I drank, whimpering and sobbing as the sweet, sweet liquid touched my taste buds and exploded upon them. I drank the cup dry and then subsided back to the floor, shaking and trying to be still.

"How long has it been?" I asked them.

"Only one day," Alice whispered, stroking my head. "You still have a few more to go."

I squeezed my eyes shut and nodded, fighting back the agony. I remembered how I ended up here, the battle, the destruction of Caius, and I sniffed and said:

"Is Jane…?"

"Jane survived," Victoria said. "She's going to be fine."

I nodded again, unaccountably relieved. I barely knew her and she was evil, but she had been nice to me, and not many people had been nice to me in those catacombs.

By now they were both stroking my head. My eyes were closed and I didn't know which hand was which.

"Just relax, Bella," Victoria's voice said softly. "Close your eyes. It'll go quicker if you close your eyes."

They were already closed, but now I opened them again, a painful flutter of my eyelids to see them one more time where they knelt there at my side all bathed in sunlight.

"Will you stay here?" I asked them.

They smiled and Alice said:

"We're not going anywhere."

Then they leaned to kiss me, one on my mouth one on my forehead, bowing and bending down to me like devouts at a shrine.

I closed my eyes, a ghost of a smile on my blood stained lips, and focused on struggling through the pain.

The minutes felt like hours and the hours felt like days. Yet after a day it all began to fade. I could feel my bones knitting back together. I could feel my blood replenishing. And cooling. A comforting coldness that begun to creep inside me and I wasn't sure if I was asleep or awake. My body began to calm and soon they didn't need to hold me down anymore. Through briefest glimpses of my fluttering eyes I could see they never left my side.

Then the next night they were gone. A moment of panic before I heard their voices. My head rolled to the side and I saw them in the aisle of the church. They were standing on the ratty remains of the carpet that lay between the rows of pews. They were holding hands and looking at each other and they looked like two brides there. I could see the moon through the gap in the ceiling, still almost full, and a pair of ravens roosted above the two women below from one of the roof beams like black turtledoves.

I was still where they left me, on the floor of the altar platform, trembling from the pain but no longer in agony. I watched them, not breathing at all and realizing that I didn't have to breathe. They were speaking very quietly but I could hear every word clearly in a way I never could if I were only human.

It was Alice's voice. I could see her lips move as she gazed down at their clasped hands, as if holding an invisible bouquet between them, and she spoke very softly and earnestly.

"I used to be so jealous of you," she was saying. "I could never understand why she wouldn't let me protect her from you. I guess it's because I just never understood what was really going on."

Victoria snorted softly. "It might also have to do the with the fact that every time you people tried to protect her you failed miserably."

Alice raised her eyes, a slight smirk about her lips. "That might be true," she said. "But at least I wasn't the one who was actually trying to kill her."

Victoria snorted softly again and looked down. "Yes, well," she said. "It's true I might've been a bit aggressive when I originally began courting her. Which means I suppose I owe you thanks. If you hadn't protected her, I might never have had the chance to come to a proper understanding of my feelings."

"But I didn't protect her, though."

"Yes, you did. You protected her as best you could. Which is all anyone can ask, especially considering how obstinate the silly girl could be about it."

Alice giggled at that and I blinked at them, not making any sound. They hadn't noticed I was awake. My throat was burning but I didn't interrupt them. The transformation hadn't yet stopped my heart and now I could feel it beginning to race with hope and excitement, as if I was getting a glimpse of the future right there in that shaft of moonlight that fell into the ruins of this church.

Alice looked at their hands and looked up at Victoria again.

"I guess you're right," she said. "And in the end, it didn't really matter. You're the one she chose."

Victoria looked down at their hands as well. "I'm not so sure about that."

"You are. You're everything to her, Victoria."

"Maybe. But she never did stop loving you. Not even for a second. It always perplexed me, her feelings for you. I couldn't ever understand them. They seemed to defy logic itself."

Alice gave a small shrug of one shoulder. "Sometimes love is like that, I guess."

"Perhaps," Victoria whispered, gazing at her. "But do you know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think it's because you're just too cute."

A soft giggle came out of Alice.

A soft giggle came out of me as well and my eyes filled with the last tears I would ever shed. Tears of joy. But the sound was enough to snap them out of their moment and they both looked at me. I almost regreted making a sound, but my throat did feel like it was burning up.

They let go of each other's hands and came back over to me, kneeling at my side while Alice raised me up slightly and Victoria put the cup to my lips.

"Drink more," Alice whispered to me. "It won't be long now, baby."

My throat jerked spastically as the blood slid down my gullet. I drank the whole cup, beginning to shudder again, and then I laid back down and licked my lips.

It was another two days before the change was complete. Alice and Victoria stayed with me the whole time. I had no idea when they went to hunt. I never noticed either of them leave. On the fourth night I fell asleep for the final time for the rest of my life. The sleep was deep and dreamless, like how you'd imagine death, and when I woke up in the morning I knew that I was never going to sleep again.

Alice and Victoria were still there. The sun was very high above the broken roof of the church and they were sparkling in that column of light like beings come to fetch me away into some afterlife. And in many ways, they were. This was my heaven. They asked me if I was okay and they petted me and kissed me and after a while they helped me sit up.

A little while later I was sitting on the steps that led up to the altar and I was holding a cup of blood in my hands. My fingers were sparkling and I could not stop watching them. Alice and Victoria were sitting either side of me and they were gazing at my face with expressions that would've made me blush if I still had warm blood to do it with.

"How do I look?" I asked them shyly, almost feeling myself sparkle.

"Beautiful," they said at the same time.

I smiled bashfully and took a sip of the blood, closing my eyes as it touched my tongue. My throat contracted as I swallowed but altogether I seemed to be handling my newborn thirst far better than any of the Cullens ever thought I would.

I glanced at them both. "What happened after the battle?"

"A lot of cleaning up," Victoria quipped with a smirk.

Alice smiled as well. "We're not exactly sure yet," she said. "Caius is dead and there's something of a power vacuum in the catacombs. Aro's still sorting everything out. He wants to see you as soon as you're ready."

"Now?"

"No," Victoria said, causing my head to swing to her instead. "Not right now."

I smiled at her and I felt the same way. I wasn't eager to go back down there either. Alice put a hand on my shoulder and I turned back to her.

"There's no rush," she said. "Let's have a little time to ourselves first. Just us three. Okay?"

I nodded and then I drained the cup and lowered it, taking a large breath. The breath was mostly habit, but it was the smells that relaxed me, the scent of blood, the scent of Alice and Victoria.

They were still watching me and neither seemed to know what else to say. I didn't either. It was like we were afraid of ruining a moment. The three of us. Here. Together. They smiled and I smiled as well and then Alice took the cup from me and set it in the floor of the church.

"Come on," she said, hopping to her feet and dusting down the jeans she had been wearing. "I think you're ready to hunt. These hills are rich with game."

I nodded and looked at Victoria. She rose and offered me a hand.

"Let's go," she said.

I smiled and placed my hand in hers and let her help me to my feet.

Then I smirked and let go and bolted down the aisle, moving in a burst of speed that even took myself by surprise, erupting out the wooden doubledoors of the church and skidding to a halt in a spray of grass about twenty feet away. After seeing vampires do that for so long, it felt good to do it myself. Chuckling, I looked back at the church. The steeple rose into a sky of soft and baby blue and the cross at the top was stamped against a puff of pure white cloud. Alice and Victoria had sped outside as well and they stood twinkling in the sun, just outside the crumbling entrance of the church, and I smirked at them and turned and crouched down before springing into a leap that carried me up into the air, into the sunlight, and back down again on the crest of a nearby hill.

They watched me, smiling, and I smiled as well. I lifted my hand and looked at it, mesmerized by the sparkles against my perfectly white skin, and then I lowered the hand and inhaled the scent of the countryside, grass and pollen and in the distance the faint scent of something that contained blood, an earthy smell that I somehow recognized as deer.

I opened my eyes and turned to Victoria and Alice who were still watching me, gazing at me on top of the hill in the sunlight as if I was some goddess come to visit them, and I smiled at them and turned and leapt away.

The speed was somewhat difficult to control but my reflexes and all my senses had been elevated as well, and I moved at a speed that sucked the leaves of trees in a vortex behind me, speed that cracked the stones I stepped on. I was following the scent, letting my instincts carry me, and then I saw my prey. A small pack of deer, three of them, quietly feeding in a meadow. Their heads rose and I pounced on one of them, tearing it's throat open while the other two scrabbled in terror and stumbled and pranced away.

The warm and living blood gushed into my mouth and the animal made only one sound of terror, a soft bleating like a goat. Then it died. When I was finished feeding, I rose up and looked down at it. It was a doe and it was laying in the lush green grass, it's eye glazing over and the reflection of the sun dimming away, and for the first time since waking up as a vampire I felt a bit of sadness. I had never really approved of killing animals. Even as a human, I always ate as vegetarian as I easily could. I wiped the blood from around my mouth with my hands and wiped my hands on my clothes and then I bobbed down and closed the animal's glassy eye, silently apologizing that it had to be her.

Alice and Victoria came into the clearing just as I stood up. I turned to them, smiling again. Alice chuckled and came forward.

"Whew," she said, wiping her forehead as if it had been a hard run. "Slow down, speedy. No need to show off just because you're a newborn."

Victoria bobbed down to examine the doe, the wound in its neck, the spilled blood on the grass. She patted it and nodded and rose with a smile.

"Impressive restraint," she said. "Newborns aren't usually so controlled."

I nodded as well without replying. I had always been told that newborns had uncontrollable and monstrous thirst, but it didn't seem that way with me. Maybe my shielding gift was shielding me from myself?

Alice was watching me with her hands on her hips, proudly like a young mother, and she grinned. "So?" she asked. "How do you like being a vampire?"

I sighed and smiled and looked up at the sky. I could smell the world around me, so rich and vibrant with fresh blood on the air, and I looked at my hands, sparkling even through the smears of blood, and I looked at the dead doe on the ground and at Alice and Victoria. I smiled and shrugged again.

"It's a lot like you always warned me," I said. "Mostly good. Little bit of bad."

I glanced at the dead doe again and then I turned and inhaled deeply.

"I can smell water," I said.

Alice sniffed. "You can?"

I smirked. I guess my newborn senses were better than theirs as well. "I'm going to go wash off," I said. "Meet you there."

"Oh, come on," Alice said, "don't speed off a—"

I sped off and dimly behind me I heard:

"—gain."

Then a soft chuckle from Victoria and both her and Alice moved to pursue me.

There was a clearwater lake some miles to the north and I reached it well before they did. There was a stand of birchtrees along the shore and one edge of the lake washed up against the rocky face of a cliff where a creek was tumbling down into the lake in a waterfall that caused a mist and a pale rainbow inside the mist. I could smell the water in the air, a very clean smell, and then I took off my clothes and waded in.

The lake came no higher than my hips, even in the center. I was watching my arms sparkle and then I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirrored surface of the lake. My hair, short and black. My face perfectly white. All my injuries had healed and all my imperfections seemed to have healed as well. My nose was a bit slimmer with a bit more of an upwards slant. My chin had more of a point. My skin was more taut and milky. My own beauty took me by surprise and a soft chuckle came out of me.

Then I heard the grass rustling on the shore of the lake. I turned around, the water silky around my legs. Alice and Victoria had arrived and they were staring at me in the lake, watching the sun bounce off my naked shoulders, my naked breasts. I smiled at them and swayed coyly. The waterfall was roaring as it fell into the lake and the sound of it felt like what my heart would've felt like if I still had one. They watched me, mesmerized, and then they glanced at each other and back at me and then they began to undress.

No words. None of us talking. I watched them, swaying softly in the water, the mud under my toes. Their tops came away and their pants and their underwear, all articles falling away from them and leaving them pale and perfect and sparkling in the sunlight. Once they were fully naked, they looked at each other and smiled, and then Alice offered a hand and Victoria took it, and the two of them turned to me, smiling, and stepped into the lake.

Sparkling, shimmering, moving softly through the softly rippling water. No sound but the waterfall and a birdcall in the distance. I stood in the center of the lake, watching them, waiting for them, my eyes roaming over their faces, their shoulders, their sparkling breasts. Victoria tall and voluptuous, Alice small and nubile. Holding hands. Like a pair of water nymphs who'd come upon a visitor in their lake. I watched them, my phantom heart beating and beating. None of us had properly discussed the relationships between us and yet we didn't seem to need to. Not now. They held hands until they had reached me in the center of the lake and then their hands slipped away from each other and they began to circle me, smiling, trailing their fingers over my shoulders or hips, admiring my body and the supernatural shimmer of my skin.

Finally they began to lave up handfuls of water to wash me and wash themselves, their hands seeking out every crevasse of my body and theirs, and then they took my hands and led me to the shore.

Alice made a bed on the grass of all our clothes, still without speaking, and Victoria laid me upon it. Their mouths began kissing my face before capturing my lips, sharing them back and forth. Nothing urgent about any of the kisses, nothing possessive or jealous. I returned their kisses equally, so grateful to have the love of both of these women, and slowly their lips moved down to my breasts. They played with them and suckled at them and soft giggles came from Alice and soft moans from Victoria. My legs were already open and I could feel their hands down there, stroking my entrance and making me wet. Finally they both shifted between my thighs and began to lick, one first then the other. My eyes were closed and slowly my back began to arch off the ground as the pleasure became unbearable. My breath was hissing in and out, not for the oxygen but simply to keep me from bursting, and my eyes opened a crack. I could see the sun, high and bright, and I was writhing softly beneath it, like a vampire burning in the light. I could feel the orgasm approaching and I let it come with complete willingness, closing my eyes again and flinging a forearm over my head and arching myself even higher as it swept over me in a wave of amazingness.

It took a few minutes for me to open my eyes. It was a peculiar sensation. Not tiredness or exhaustion, just complete and lovely satisfaction. And something else as well. Happiness.

When my eyes did open, I found them watching me, still fascinated by the sparkle of my body. Alice was kneeling at my side and Victoria had her arms wrapped around her from behind. A very great intimacy seemed to have sprung up between them while I was in the throes of transformation and the sight of them like this, cuddling like lovers, caused me to snort a soft chuckle.

"You two seem very chummy," I said.

Alice smirked, wearing Victoria's arms around her like a coat. "Jealous?"

"Of who?"

Victoria smirked as well, gazing at me while cuddling Alice. "You tell us."

I smiled at them and snorted again. I was still laying there in all our clothes and now I rose up and tucked my legs under me. My lap was sparkling and I could see my boobs sparkling as well. How cool was that?

Alice and Victoria released their embrace and now they sat back, the three of us arranged in a loose triangle under the sun, naked, sparkling, waiting for any kind of guidance about what was supposed to happen next. They had obviously settled whatever feelings were between themselves and now I suppose it was my turn to settle my own feelings.

But the only feeling I seemed to have was happiness and there was nothing I could do but laugh. They smiled at the sound of it and when I was done I smiled as well.

"I still wonder what the fuck is going on between us three," I said. "I honestly have no idea."

"Well, Vicky and I have been talking about it a little," Alice said.

I raised an eyebrow at Victoria. "You let her call you Vicky?"

Victoria narrowed her eyes at Alice. "I gave her no permission whatsoever."

Alice flapped a hand to dismiss all that for the minute. "Point is," she said, "Vicky and I both feel the same way."

"Which is?" I asked.

Alice inhaled a deep breath, as if to prepare herself. She glanced at Victoria, perhaps for courage, and then back at me. "We think we can make it work," she said. "The three of us. Together. Maybe forever, maybe not. Vicky will always be with you. But me? Well. I know I'm the third wheel. And who knows? Maybe one day I'll stop being so pathetically obsessed with you and I'll leave you guys alone. Maybe that's possible."

Her voice went quiet and Victoria and I looked at her sadly. But then she giggled and forced herself to perk up.

"But until then, you're gonna be stuck with me," she declared playfully. "I don't think I could live without you guys right now. Both of you."

I smiled at her. "You're always welcome in my life, Alice," I said. "Always."

"And mine," Victoria added gently.

Alice looked at us and her happiness seemed to gush up into a giggle as she threw her arms around Victoria and smooched her on the mouth before throwing her arms around me and smooching me as well.

Then finally she settled down, now positioned directly between Victoria and I, and she laughed nervously and began to babble.

"In any case," she said, "it's not even that strange among vampires. Many covens exist with sexual or romantic relationships between more than two members. Immortality is a long time. Sometimes you need to spice it up. Even mates aren't always monogamous. Then again, most vampires are evil bitches and jackasses, so…"

She was gesturing with a hand and I took it out of the air and lowered it to my lap. She looked at me and I smiled at her.

"You don't need to justify it, Alice," I said. "You belong with us. Simple as that. Right, _Vicky_?"

Victoria's new nickname seemed to really piss her off, which was going to be awesome. But she forced herself to remain dignified and she didn't react. Instead she turned to Alice and took Alice's other hand and held it in her lap. Alice looked at her sweetly and Victoria smiled.

"Well, I do have to admit, I've taken quite a liking to her," she said. "She can be quite adorable once you get to know her."

Alice nodded in agreement and Victoria gave her a kiss. A nice, long, sensuous kiss directly on her mouth. Alice let go of my hand and instead cupped Victoria's cheek, moaning into the kiss, and—

Okay. Now I'm jealous.

And so fucking turned on.

"Wow," I said, watching them. "You guys are really hot together."

They broke their kiss for a second to smirk at me. Then they turned back to each other and deepened it, opening their mouths and licentiously letting their tongues entwine so that I could see.

A white hot blaze of lust went through my chest and I gazed at them whimperingly.

"Stop it, please," I said. "I'm a newborn, I can't control myself."

Alice giggled and Victoria smirked at me.

"So don't," they said at the same time.

I stared at them. Then I pounced at them.

A flurry of giggles came up from both of them. They didn't resist, but with my newborn strength, it wouldn't have mattered if they did. I grabbed them and wrenched them around and threw them into a pile of boobs and legs before pouncing again, on top of them, mashing my mouth onto Alice's then Victoria's, kissing them one at a time and letting the other wait and watch. Finally I moved down between their pale and sparkling legs. Alice was practically sitting in Victoria's lap, both with their thighs open, and their pussies were stacked one on top of the other in a rich buffet of wet womanhood. I dived in and did them both at the same time, fingering one while eating out the other, and then switching and switching again, licking from the base of Victoria's vagina all the way up to the clit of Alice's as if they were the same body, same woman, same lover. I ate them and licked them up and they laughed and giggled and orgasmed together in a quivering heap of nakedness that I quickly pounced on all over again.

—

It was dark by the time we got back to the church and Jane was waiting for us.

We had come through the doors laughing and with linked arms, after spending the whole day frolicking in the hills and making love, and now we stopped laughing. The small girl was standing at the foot of the altar, examining a broken crucifix that lay in the floor. Her sapphire robes were dark in the moonlight. She turned at our entrance and pushed back her hood and smiled. Her head was once again connected to her neck and I wasn't sure if I should be happy. I liked Jane, but there could only be one reason she was here.

"Aro sent me to bring you to him," she said.

That reason.

I nodded and slowly Victoria and Alice unlinked their arms from mine. Jane was standing in a beam of moonlight and she was smiling and letting her eyes roam over my newly vampiric face.

"You look wonderful," she said.

Now I finally smiled too. "Thank you."

"Are you ready to go?"

I glanced at Alice and Victoria. None of us seemed particularly ready or happy about it, but we all knew it was necessary and maybe there was nothing really to be worried about anyway. I was just afraid of something going wrong. Like it always did.

Jane observed our silence with a smile and looked down and looked up again.

"It will only be a quick visit," she added. "He only wants to offer you his blessing before you depart."

I looked at her. "Are you serious?"

A soft chuckle came out of her and she gave a nod of her blonde head. "Yes," she said. "Vampire or not, you're still just a girl. You haven't even completed highschool yet. But Aro won't forget what you have done for him. You will enjoy his protection for a long time. And soon you will come back. Then we will talk about your future."

"Sounds reasonable," I said cautiously. I looked at Victoria and Alice. They seemed very happy to hear that too.

Jane sighed and looked up at one of the stained-glass windows in the east wall. The colored shapes of glass showed a woman in blue robes with a lamb curled at her feet. The Virgin Mary. Jane turned back to us. Her dark red eyes moved from Alice to Victoria and back to me. Then she smiled and adjusted her robes and the smile tilted into a smirk.

"I will return tomorrow night," she said. "Take another day to…be together."

Then she came down the aisle in her boots and passed directly through us, smiling at me as she did so, and continued on through the broken wooden doors and out into the night.

I looked at Alice and Victoria. They looked at each other and at me. We were all smiling but we couldn't put it in words. Things were finally going to be okay. They really were.

—


	32. Chapter 32

—

Chapter 32:

—

I was loathe to enter those catacombs again, but I took heart that it would be the last time—until I was ready or willing to return, at least.

Jane came for us at the church like she said she would and bought us some traditional Volturi robes to wear, all black. Apparently Aro's blessing would be given in a simple ceremonial. I wasn't too excited about that, but I was eager to get it over with. We entered the catacombs through the amphitheatre where Caius had fallen and aside from stains on the stones and pillars there was no sign that anything had occurred there at all.

Descending into that darkness once again, I felt a slight foreboding, but I had Alice and Victoria at my side and I had Jane as well, who truly had become a friend over these last few days. She had given me nothing but assurances over what was to come and Alice's visions were clear as well. Even Victoria's gift was calm and settled. I wasn't about to let down my guard, but despite the darkness and the closeness of the walls, these catacombs truly had no appearance of danger anymore.

The robes we wore were black and voluminous, heavy velvet with gold trim. Our boots clicked on the stones. There was no sound at all anywhere in the catacombs and the doors to the throne room stood open. Jane led us from a few paces ahead and me and Alice and Victoria came slightly behind, marching up the red carpet that led through the large cavern toward the dais where the thrones sat. Bats chittered in the ceiling but that was all. No one was speaking. There were at least a hundred vampires in that hall, as if more had been bought in from outside specifically to witness me, and they stood silently in robes and orderly rows either side of the red carpet, a corridor of red and watchful eyes that seemed to be almost in reverence as I passed in our little procession. I looked at them without any fear, no longer a weak human, and Alice and Victoria gave me subtle smiles.

I had been expecting to find one of the thrones empty, but it wasn't. Aro was in the middle with Marcus on his left, and on the right sat Jasper.

That gave me pause but I didn't falter in my step. He was slouched on the throne, much as Caius might've been, and he was watching me with eyes that were newly red. I suppose he had assumed some kind of leadership in the Volturi. With his background, combat skill, and gift, I guess he had been a logical choice. Aro was smiling as I noticed my old enemy on that throne and I realized his sick sense of humor might've also helped with his decision. He knew Jasper's history with me. But I wasn't worried. I was the one who killed Caius, the man who had sat on that throne for thousands of years. What did I have to fear from his replacement?

I looked away and my eyes landed on Edward. He was standing near the front of the crowd along with several people I recognized. Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett. I guess the Cullens had come to take him home to America. Emmett saw me and grinned and tossed his chin. I gave him a nod. And only him. Emmett was the only Cullen I liked. The rest I ignored, especially Rosalie. She tried to look at me with her usual distain but this time it was her who was inferior and she looked down instead. I looked at Edward again. We had been through a lot together since that very first biology class, but now it was time to move on. I was glad he was back with his family. I wished him all the best and gave him a smile.

By now Jane had stopped in front of Aro and bowed and then she moved to the side to make way for me, Alice, and Victoria. The three of us came to a stop before the trio of thrones and Alice and Victoria bowed like Jane had. I didn't. Aro smirked. Marcus had been gazing out across the cavern at one of the blazing hearths in the far wall but now he shifted and folded his hands in his lap and gazed at me and my two soulmates as if he had noticed something particularly fascinating about us this time. It was probably the most alert I had ever seen the old man before and it made me smile. I could see in his eyes that he sense bonds between us that he had never sensed before.

The cavern was silent and now Aro heaved a sigh and rose from his throne to greet me.

"Well, if it isn't the lady of the hour," he said. "I'm pleased you've finally made time to come see us."

He bowed deeply, a slight drawl of sarcasm in his voice. I snorted.

"I was a little fucked up for a while, if you don't remember," I said.

Alice gave me a flare of her eyes, as if to tell me to shut up. I could tell some of the guests didn't like my disrespectful tone either, but they refrained from commenting. Aro merely smiled.

"I do remember," he said. "I also remember your courage and bravery in how you defeated Caius. If not for you, perhaps none of us would be here."

I looked around at the guests. Most of them were in robes, aside from a few in street clothes like the Cullens. James was there as well and he was leaning back against a pillar, somewhat apart from the ceremony, and he was looking at nothing but Victoria.

I turned back to Aro. "I was just trying to defend myself," I said. "I got lucky."

Aro smiled and lifted a gloved finger and waggled it at me playfully. "You are very modest," he said. "It was not mere luck. It was spirit! And will! And a fierce devotion to me that inspired you and gave you strength! Am I correct?"

I looked at him weirdly. Jane was biting her lip as if she wanted to giggle. I looked at Aro and shrugged and said:

"Sure."

He nodded approvingly. Then he gestured with a hand, still standing there before his throne. "Regardless, you are to be well rewarded. Anything you want, anything at all. Name it's and it yours. Aside from Caius's seat, of course. That happens to be taken."

With that he drew attention to Jasper who was still slouched there with his elbow on the armrest and his chin in his hand. Alice looked away from him and Victoria looked at Alice. I looked into Jasper's red eyes steadily and then turned back to Aro. Aro smiled.

"I was impressed by his gift and his tactical acumen during the battle," he said. "He's an impressive fighter as well. Very impressive. I understand you two have a history, but I trust you can both put it behind you. Trust me, in a hundred years these petty romantic squabbles will seem entirely meaningless. It reminds me of a song I heard once: I have ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one."

I was staring at him as if he was a complete fucking idiot. Even his guests seemed mystified as that fragment of Jay-Z lyrics echoed through the cavern. He smiled at everyone, his eyes cool and composed beneath that very convincing veneer of buffoonery, and then he sat down on his throne and crossed his legs and brushed some dust from the lap of his robe.

"So," he said. "A reward. Any ideas, Ms Swan? There must be something you want."

I literally couldn't think of anything. All I wanted was Alice and Victoria.

"Jane has hopes you'll stay on as a bodyguard," Aro went on. "Your gift could be very valuable once we explore its limits. What do you say? It's a position of high authority. Very valuable. Just say the word and it's yours. My pleasure."

My eyes narrowed slightly. What a sneaky bastard. He was trying to make it seem like staying here would be a reward. Well, fuck that. Nice try, asshole.

I glanced at Jane and even Jane seem to think her master's ploy was terribly transparent. She gave me an awkward smile and I turned back to Aro.

"In all honesty," I said. "I just wanna get out of here."

A murmur ran through the cavern at that. Aro smiled. He seemed impressed that I not only saw through him but had the balls to stand up to him as well. But he had been doing this for centuries and he parried my disrespect with absolute effortlessness.

"A marvellous idea, Ms Swan," he said. "Like a vacation, yes? You certainly deserve it. All three of you. Just name the destination and I'll take care of everything else. All expenses paid. Somewhere tropical, perhaps? Although you'd have to take care to stay out of the sun. I'd hate to have to send a deathsquad after you for breaking the rules."

He burst into chuckles at that, shifting on his throne and holding the armrests as if his mirth might cause him to tumble off. Some of the guests smiled too. Finally he settled down and shook his head jovially as if to keep me from getting the wrong idea.

"I'm joking, of course," he assured me. "But tell me. Where is it you wish to go?"

I looked at him dryly. I knew his joke was actually more of a friendly reminder that he could still kill me anytime he pleased. You also had to admire the fact that he was willing to let me go yet insisting on paying for it and keeping tabs. How generous of him.

But it was probably the best deal we were going to get, so I decided to cooperate. I glanced at Victoria and Alice, making sure they were cool with everything too, and then I turned back to Aro.

"Actually, we had our hearts set on England," I said.

Aro raised his eyebrows delightedly. "England? How wonderful. London can be a very lovely city, depending which century you visit. I haven't been there in a long time, but I understand the plague is over. Oh, those were the days. With so many humans dropping like flies, no one even noticed when the healthy ones disappeared. I had a lot of fun in those days. I still remember the first time I saw Hamlet at the Globe. That would have to be five hundred years ago by now. Time just flies, doesn't it? Or _tempus fugit_, as we used to say when I was a boy."

He chuckled again. But this time there was a half-heartedness to it and the chuckles trailed off slowly as if he had simply lost energy for it. As if the passage of time really did cast him down a little. He looked at Jane for a moment, as if there was something about her that made him feel better, and then he turned back to me and replaced that false smile on his face.

"Well," he said, clapping his hands together. "I suppose you must be eager to be off, eh? Are you sure there's nothing else I can offer you? I had intended to throw you a lavish ball as well, but I thought that might be in poor taste for a woman of your, um…moral standards."

The guests chuckled. The Cullens were standing there, disapproving, frowning. James unleaned from the pillar and put his hands in the pockets of his jeans. I glanced at him and back at Aro.

"Thank you for your consideration," I said, forcing myself to be polite. "But…"

I glanced at Victoria and Alice and then I took each of their hands in mine. They smiled at me and I gave their hands a squeeze. A soft rustle went through the guests. Edward looked down. So did James. Jasper looked away toward one of the hearths. Marcus had been watching us the entire time and now his eyes were wide and staring at our clasped hands. I smiled at my two lovers and then I turned to Aro.

"We just wanna be alone," I said.

Aro nodded as if he understood. "Say no more" he said. "I suppose this is goodbye then. For now at least. One day, of course, we hope you'll…"

He trailed off, glancing at Marcus awkwardly. Marcus had risen from his throne. Everyone was looking at him and now he came shuffling down the steps of the dais toward me and Alice and Victoria. He looked at our hands, frowning, and then he circled around behind us and sniffed at the air.

"Oh, Marcus, for heaven's sake," Aro said, mortified at his old friend's behaviour. "Stop it, you're embarrassing yourself. Sniffing at them like a dog. Honestly."

Marcus came around to our front and he looked at us, bent, hunched, hardly taller than Alice, his brown hair hanging in the orange firelight like an old warlock or soothsayer. He looked at Victoria and at Alice. I was trying to analyse his frown but I couldn't tell what it meant.

"What is it?" I asked.

His eyes snapped to mine, wide and serious, and then they drifted to Alice and Victoria. "What you have forged here," he said. "Never let sunder."

His words made my chest thump like a heartbeat. "Is it true love?"

"No," he said, turning and speaking over his shoulder. "It's more."

Then he shuffled back to his throne and sat down, still staring at us with that troubled frown as if the potency of our feelings was somehow disturbing to him. Aro waited for him to be seated and then he blinked politely.

"Are you done?" he asked. "Marvellous."

Then he shook his head and turned back to us.

"Now, as I was saying," he said. "We hope you'll return to us in time. You're a hero now, don't forget. Soon to be a fixture in our culture. A lowly human girl who slew the mighty king Caius. We'll be telling stories about that one for a thousand years, let me tell you."

I was still smiling from Marcus's proclamations and I glanced at Victoria and Alice before nodding at Aro.

"We'll come back eventually," I said.

"Excellent, excellent," he said, and then he rose from his throne formally. "Well, I suppose this is farewell. I'll leave you with Jane to sort out the details of your trip. Bon voyage, Ms Swan, and on behalf of the Volturi I wish you the very happiest of ever afters."

With that, he clicked his heels and gave me a bow. Swallowing my pride, I gave him a bow as well in return.

"Thank you," I said.

It was the first time I had ever bowed to him and he smiled at the gesture and nodded magnanimously. He gave a nod to Jane as well and Jane came toward us and gestured down the carpet. Victoria and Alice turned to go, Victoria glancing one last time at James, Alice glancing one last time at Jasper. I glanced at them both and at Edward as well and then I turned and followed Jane out of the cavern. Alice and Victoria came with me and soon we had finally left that place. Together. Like I had promised them.

—

A black Rolls Royce picked us up on the surface and transported us to a villa owned by the Volturi, me and Alice and Victoria in the back, and Jane in the front beside the stoic driver. She didn't speak in front of him and we didn't speak either. We drove in silence and watched the Villa rise in the windows as we came around the final bend. It was situated on a cliff in perfect isolation, overlooking the powder soft sands of the beach below and the crystal blue shoals that shimmered in the sunlight.

The villa itself was large and empty. Several of the wings stood closed off with white sheets thrown over the furniture, but the rest of the house had been prepared for our arrival, including the master bedroom with windows that stood open like doors for the breeze to blow the drapes back and forth. By now the sun was beginning to set and the four of us walked out onto the terrace. We were still dressed in our Volturi robes and we must've looked like a small row of prophets standing in the dusk. We could see the water out there and the sun setting into the water and the water was blue and purple and sparkling in the last failing rays of the sun the same way our faces would've been sparkling under our hoods.

"Wow," I said. "It's beautiful."

Jane nodded and went to go back into the bedroom. "If you were staying longer, we would've prepared the rest of the house as well," she said. "But this ought to be sufficient for a day or two while you gather supplies for your journey. The closets have been stocked with clothes and the refrigerator has been stocked with blood from a local hospital. The blood is human but I can assure you no human was harmed in the harvesting of it."

There was a laptop on the desk and now Jane unfolded it and tapped away at the keyboard.

"We've arranged Cayman island accounts for all three of you. The information you need is all here. The funds will be replenished every twenty four hours. Should your expenses run higher, we've also set up a blind trust."

She turned the laptop to me so that I could see the screen. My eyebrows shot up.

"Wow," I said. "That's more money than I could spend in a lifetime."

Jane giggled. "Not anymore. You're a vampire now." She tapped away at the laptop some more and then folded it down and continued speaking. "A helicopter will come pick you up the day after tomorrow to take you to the airport where our private jet will transport you anywhere in the world you wish to go. All we ask is that you keep us apprised of your movements. As a newborn you're still something of a liability, particularly with your knowledge of Volterra."

"I wouldn't worry about that," Victoria said. "Bella has excellent restraint."

Jane glanced at her. "Be that as it may, we would prefer to take the precaution," she said. Then she smiled at me. "It'll give us an excuse to stay in touch."

I chuckled and nodded. It didn't sound unreasonable to me. Like it or not, I was going to be bound to the Volturi for a long time, if not forever. And it's not like I wouldn't mind sending Jane a postcard or two.

Jane nodded as well and then suddenly she seemed to have run out of things to say. She looked at the laptop, at the billowing curtains. Finally she sighed and took a deep breath and smiled.

"When do you think you will come back?" she asked.

"I'm not sure," I said. "I can't really think that far ahead right now."

"We truly would make a tremendous team to protect Aro. With both of us at his side, there's no limit to what we could conquer. Perhaps even the human world itself."

Excitement hissed into her voice with that last part. I snorted and shook my head.

"My gift might not be as useful as you think," I told her.

"Maybe we could find out."

"No, I don't think…"

But she grinned and spun to Alice and Alice flung up her arms and screamed and—

Stopped. Only a single high-pitched note came out of her just as my gift clamped down on her like an invisible dome, shielding her from Jane's power. I didn't know how I had done it. I had just panicked.

Alice still had her arms up and she was breathing heavy from that brief taste of Jane's gift. Jane smiled at her, her red eyes aglow, and then she giggled and turned to me.

"See? I knew it would be able to protect others as well."

Victoria put her arm around Alice protectively and she gave me a look as if she was gonna kill Jane if I didn't do something about this. Alice was just in shock, almost smiling from Jane's craziness. I gave Jane an awkward smile and tried to explain her error.

"Jane, listen," I said. "I know you may be a little desensitized to the pain you inflict on others, but seriously: don't do that shit no more. Okay?"

She gave me a playful pout. "Okay."

I shook my head. Jane looked at Alice as if to apologize and smiled at the anger in Victoria's face and then turned back to me.

"Well," she said. "I should go."

She moved past us onto the terrace where a set of steps led down into the courtyard. I followed her out. The steps were whitewashed stone and I called to her as her boot touched the first one.

"Jane," I said.

She paused and turned back. The sun was smouldering in the swells beyond and she stood silhouetted in her hood. I smiled and nodded at her.

"Thanks," I said.

I said it with a certain gravity, as if to include gratitude for everything, and she seemed to understand. Without Jane, I might never have had the opportunity to show Alice and Victoria how much I really loved them. It was that night in the catacombs when Jane had prepared them for me in chains that led to everything. I smiled at her and she nodded back and smiled and then she turned and continued down the steps.

By midnight that night we still hadn't left the bedroom. Our robes lay in a rumpled heap on the floor, almost mimicking the positions we made on the bed as our naked bodies entwined and twisted and orgasmed in crescendos of joy and laughter. The sky outside was filled with stars that cast a bluish light into the room through the open doors of the balcony. The drapes continued fluttering in the breeze, white and boneless, carried into the room on gusts of wind like pale spirits reaching for the bed. Like ghosts bent on inhabiting our naked bodies and partaking in the joy that rose and climaxed between us and subsided again before rising anew like the waves crashing on the cliffs outside.

The sheets were white satin, almost as cool and smooth as our skin, and we made love for hours without resting. Slowly and intimately. Speaking softly about little more than what we were doing to each other. I loved both of these women so much that the feeling in my heart was a literal ache, as if it was in danger of splitting down the center. I held Alice's tiny face in my hands and kissed her. My bestfriend. My first true love. The woman who loved me so much it had almost driven her crazy. I kissed her and made love to her with my mouth and later it was Victoria's face in my hands. Stroking her cheeks before weaving my fingers into the long red locks of her hair. Red like fire. The color of love and passion. My mouth had fallen open and I was completely at her mercy. I owed her so much. If she had ever asked me to choose between her and Alice, I would've chosen Victoria. But in that choice some part of my heart would've had to have been broken off and destroyed and cast away and Victoria loved me too much to do that. She didn't only love the parts of me that loved her back, she loved everything. Unconditionally. My stubbornness, my weakness. My feelings for Alice. Everything. And she loved Alice as well. I could tell each time their mouths connected. Their eyes. They had hardly known each other properly for a week and yet they seemed to revel in whatever feelings had sprung up between them, consuming them whole and without shame while they were still fresh and forbidden. Licking each other between their legs and smiling and licking again.

Towards dawn I went to go get some of that blood that Jane mentioned. The kitchen contained a stove and a microwave and a row of darkwood cabinets. I smiled at the stove and brushed my fingers over the burners, remembering how I used to make dinner for dad and myself, realizing that I would never make dinner again. I wasn't sure if I should be happy that I would never have to cook again or maybe a little sad. In the end I just chuckled wistfully and opened the refrigerator. The blood had been bottled like wine and I didn't bother getting any glasses, I just uncorked three of them and left the corks on the counter before nudging closed the refrigerator door with my naked hip.

Alice and Victoria were chatting about Alice's toenail polish as I came in, sitting side by side on the bed with one of Alice's feet presented for examination. They looked up as I came in and grinned as I handed them each a bottle.

"You think it's okay to drink human blood?" I asked them as I settled on the bed.

Alice giggled and took a long gulp out of the bottle, squeezing her eyes shut as if it was a strong whiskey. When they opened, they were a pretty pink color. "Back in Forks I would've said hell no," she said, "but these days I've learnt to loosen up."

Victoria lifted her own bottle in a sip. I watched the pinkness suffuse her eye and then I looked down at my own bottle and lifted it and took a drink with my eyes closed before lowering the bottle again with a shaky hand. It tasted so good I had almost bit the neck of the bottle off.

When I opened my eyes, they were watching me. Victoria smiled.

"You should still be careful, though," she said. "You have incredible restraint for a newborn, but drinking human blood will make you more vulnerable to slipping."

"But you'll probably be fine," Alice added with a smile.

I nodded and took another drink. I guess none of us were in the mood to impose standards on ourselves anymore. If there was anything we had learnt lately, it was to compromise and accept happiness in whatever form it arrived.

We fell silent for a moment, the curtains billowing into the room and the surf booming against the rocks outside. I looked at Victoria and Alice. Naked and beautiful, the bottles in their laps. Smiling. Glancing at me, at each other. The silence stretched to the point where we were afraid of ruining it somehow until finally I just chuckled and shook my head and said:

"It's almost too good to be true, isn't it?"

Alice's smile brightened even further. "What do you mean?"

"This," I said, gesturing at us where we sat in a small triangle on the rumpled satin sheets. "I guess part of me never thought we would ever get here. I mean, think about all the shit we went through before now. Did you ever think it would end?"

Alice glanced at Victoria. Victoria was sitting back against the headboard with her legs crossed and she smiled at both of us.

"It did seem bleak at times," she said.

"But here we are, right?" Alice chirped. "All three of us."

I chuckled softly to myself and repeated: "All three of us."

Alice giggled and looked at Victoria's long white legs and then she placed a hand on them and stroked them up and down before leaned to kiss her big toe, her ankle, her shin, her kneecap. I watched them, smiling, and took another sip from the bottle.

"You know what's weird, though?" Alice went on, raising up from Victoria's lap. "A relationship like this had never even crossed my mind before it actually happened. Not once."

"Me either," I said.

"Nor I," Victoria added.

Alice smiled and gave a shrug of her pretty shoulders. "And yet now," she said. "I honestly couldn't imagine anything different." She was still smiling but then she went a little self-conscious and added: "Could you?"

"Nope," I said, beaming at her. "Deep down I always knew I needed both of you in my life. One way or another. I never dreamed it could ever be this perfect, though."

Alice smiled at that and turned to Victoria. "What about you, Vicky?"

There was an extra bit of supplication in the question, as if my own answer had been expected but it was Victoria's that mattered most. Victoria smiled and set her bottle on the nightstand and drew Alice close.

"I'm the same as you," she said. "All I ever wanted was Bella—until I had you as well."

The answer made Alice very happy and Victoria gave her a kiss to seal it. I watched them. Victoria's hand was cupping Alice's face, just under her jaw. It seemed to be a perfect fit for her palm and once again I found myself astounded at how much they grown to love each other in so short a time.

"I'm really glad you guys have bonded like this," I said. "It never would've worked otherwise."

Alice broke the kiss with a giggle.

"I just think she's hot, that's all," she said, and then she proceeded to go down on her.

I laughed and Victoria laughed as well with Alice's head between her thighs, watching it bob up and down with each lick, and then she smirked at me with her red hair and huge sexy boobs. I crawled over and began to kiss her.

We continued making love until well after the sun rose and filled the room with light. Then we went for showers, crowding into the glass cubicle and passing the soap back and forth and giggling and dropping the shampoo bottle. Once we were done, we dried off and ransacked the room for some clothes to wear so that we could go out. We found some scarves and sunglasses and a huge broadbrimmed hat for Alice with a blue ribbon around the crown that dangled down her back. We would look rather warmly dressed for the season, but it would keep us shaded from the sun.

There was a car in the garage too, a yellow Porsche, and it was almost an hour drive along the scenic cliffside back to Volterra. The first things we acquired were some travel bags and some iPhones and then we spent the rest of the morning and part of the afternoon browsing the market for clothes. We didn't want to overburden ourselves, since we could buy anything else we needed in London. All we needed was enough to get us started.

At around lunchtime we stopped at a café that had an upstairs terrace which overlooked a vast plain of terracotta rooftops and we were served by a waiter in a white jacket while we took off hour hats and scarves in the shade of the umbrella over the table. Victoria spoke to him in Italian and ordered us each a cafecita that arrived on white saucers in tiny cups. We had mostly only sat down to relax and chat, but we found ourselves lifting the cups anyway, pinching the handles between our thumbs and forefingers with our pinkies in the air and touching them to our lips in simulated sips, smiling and giggling like little girls savouring pretend tea at a teaparty.

In the afternoon we returned to the villa with our purchases and then got changed and went out again, each clad in one of the cocktail dresses we had found in the closet, Victoria in red, me in black, Alice in purple. We were of a mind to go dancing and we found a place with a dancefloor under the stars in the cool night breeze. We danced together, the three of us, and people could not keep their eyes off us, pale, supernatural, wrapped in skin-tight dresses that showed off our every perfection, grinding our bodies together in rhythm to the music with heavy looks into each other's eyes and the occasional kiss.

There was a bar there as well and after a while we stopped to get some drinks. The bar had no stools and me and Alice swayed our hips to the music while Victoria simply leaned back on it with her elbows. My own drink came with a tiny umbrella in it and I plucked it out and giggled and lifted the drink to my nose. It smelt like some kind of cleaning fluid and I pouted as I set it back down.

"I think this is what I'm gonna miss most about being human," I said to my companions. "Alcohol."

Alice burst out laughing. "You were seventeen years old, Bella. Have you even tasted alcohol before?"

She made a good point and I laughed as well. "Victoria once snuck me some champagne," I said, turning to her with a grin. "Remember at the old Rainbow Motel?"

Victoria nodded, smiling. That had been one of the first times we'd had sex. Back after fleeing from James when he had tried to kill me on that boat. Felt like a million years ago now.

"Well, that was very irresponsible of her," Alice said playfully. "She was probably just trying to get you drunk so she could have her way with you."

"I didn't need her drunk for that," Victoria quipped dryly.

Alice giggled and slapped her shoulder. She was holding her glass, a rum and coke, and she was stirring the ice with a straw, perfectly practiced at pretending to be an alcohol-drinking human. She noticed how I glanced at the glass and smiled.

"Seriously, though," she said. "Any regrets about the change?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you kidding?"

Alice shrugged, as if it had been an honest question. She continued stirring the glass and now I repeated the same question to her.

"What about you?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Any regrets? Like Jasper?"

Alice stopped stirring the straw. I hated to mention his name, but I needed to know if she needed support about it. But she shrugged casually, pretending to be a big girl, as if the loss of her hundred year relationship with a man who had betrayed everything she ever did for him was no big deal.

"He wasn't the person I thought he was," she said. "And he definitely wasn't the person I wanted."

I nodded. I could tell she didn't want to talk about it, not now at least, and I leaned to give her a kiss. The kiss perked her up, but Victoria was still frowning from the mention of Jasper.

"From now on, we will have to be on our guard," she said. "Right now we are under Aro's protection, but that won't last forever. With Jasper's gift, his influence in the Volturi will grow daily, and he doesn't strike me as the type to let go of a grudge."

That was all true but there was no need to worry about it now. Not here under the stars with the dance music throbbing like a heartbeat and the three of us in sexy dresses. So I brushed it off with a wave of my hand and started swaying my hips again.

"Let's not worry about that right now," I said. "Besides, I'm not scared. I'm not even worried. Whatever happens, we'll handle it. Together. Nothing is ever going to get in our way again. Not Jasper, not Aro, no one."

That was when James appeared.

"What about me?" he asked innocently, having heard up our whole conversation.

He had appeared out of the crowd in a black shirt, emerging like a well-dressed devil, and he was smiling sharply. I snorted and didn't even stop dancing. A while back this would've been a moment for fear, yet another plot twist in the endless tragedy of my life, but this time was different. I was a newborn, stronger even than the two vampires at my side, and I was the favoured one of the most powerful vampire in the world. I had nothing to fear from this dweeb anymore.

Victoria glared at him and put down her drink.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded.

James held up his hands. "Relax," he said. "I've come only to say goodbye. I'm still your mate, after all."

"I have new mates," Victoria hissed.

James smiled and shook his head. "No," he said. "Whatever they are, they are not mates. Although it is charming to see you all grouped like this. Considering our histories together."

Alice was glaring at him too by now. Alice was one of his original targets. The first one that got away, before I did the same. James never left a hunt incomplete, but I smirked at him and continued to dance on the spot.

"There's an old saying," I told him. "Don't hunt what you can't kill."

James nodded at the wisdom of that but what he said was: "There's also more than one way to skin a cat."

Finally I stopped dancing. I looked at him for a long moment and then I placed my drink on the bar behind me and turned back to him.

"James," I said. "I'm a newborn now. And you're still the man who murdered my mother. I've been trying to let go of the past and focus on nothing but the future, but right now what you're showing me is that _you're_ the one who can't let go of the past. So let's settle this right now. Are you going to leave Victoria alone? Or do I have to kill you?"

James almost ignored me, turning to Victoria and smiling at her in a certain way. Not a sadistic smile. Just a smile. Victoria's glare weakened slightly. James reached and touched one of her hands. I bit my lip in restraint, hoping this was just some kind of goodbye—for his sake.

"It's ironic, isn't it?" he asked his former mate, gazing down at their hands. "To finally learn what true love is only as it slips through your fingers…"

He loosened his grip and let her hand fall away from his own. As if to demonstrate the loss of which he spoke. I watched him coldly.

"Decide now, James," I said. "Tell me you're never going to bother us again. And you better be fucking convincing because if I don't believe it I'm gonna kill you right here right now just as a precaution."

I was prepared to do it too, but now Alice placed a hand on my shoulder. I glanced at her and I was surprised to see her face was almost sympathetic for him.

"It's okay, Bella," she said.

"What?"

"I know what he's going to do. I saw it."

I frowned, Alice's hand still on my shoulder. The music was still blasting all around us and the lights of the dancefloor passed over our clothes in washes of red and white. James glanced at Alice and then at me.

"I have a gift for Victoria," he said. "That I would like to give her privately. After that you will never see me again."

I didn't know what was going on, but I looked at Alice. Alice nodded, as if we should let him. Victoria observed the nod as well and she didn't object. I looked at her. We both trusted Alice, but I still wasn't sure. Her one eye blinked at me beside her eyepatch in an almost anxious wink and I knew she could use some closure on this. So I didn't object either.

Alice let her hand slide from my shoulder down to my wrist and then she began to tug me away.

"Come on," she said. "We'll meet her back at the villa."

Victoria gave me a nod and I nodded back. Then I glared at James and turned away.

It was past midnight by the time we got back. We had taken the car and left Victoria to travel on foot, which would actually be faster than the car. I had half-hoped we might even find her waiting for us at the villa, but she wasn't. I kept asking Alice what she saw in her vision, but she only told me not to worry about it. I just hoped Victoria wouldn't get hurt. Not physically. Emotionally. In Volterra she would be off-limits, but her heart had always had a weakness for James. A vulnerability. I wasn't afraid that she would cheat on us—not anymore—but I really didn't want her to get hurt.

Me and Alice went straight up to the bedroom and the first thing she did was pull off her dress. Her mood was strangely buoyant and I wished I knew what her vision was. She was wearing nothing but heels and panties and she was turning down the bed.

"Are you sure about leaving them alone, Alice?" I asked her.

"Yes," she said. "Have faith in her. Her feelings for you are unshakable."

"I wasn't worried about that. I just don't want anything bad to happen."

Alice grinned and sauntered toward me with her perky body and then wrapped her arms around my neck. "Nothing bad is going to happen," she said. "Everything is going to be perfect. I'm just glad we have a moment alone. You've had so many with Victoria, but hardly any with me."

I cupped her face and looked into her newly red eyes. The last time we had been alone in Volterra it was when she lied to me about her visions in order to make me believe that Victoria would cheat on me with James. Now she was saying the exact opposite. I was so glad her heart was finally at peace and I smiled at her and she lifted in her heels to kiss me.

I kissed her back for a while and then I broke it off gently.

"Is it okay to do this without Victoria?" I asked coyly, unsure about the ethics of threeway relationships.

Alice giggled and unzipped my dress in a quick motion. Then she giggled again and pulled it off me.

"Don't worry," she said. "Me and Vicky did it lots of times without you."

I stepped out of my dress, naked but for my panties, and glared at her playfully. But she only giggled and jumped onto the bed and I quickly pounced after her.

Like she had said, we rarely had any time alone and we made the most of it, making a playful sort of love where we pecked at each other with our mouths and petted each other's pussies until we were nice and wet before eating each other out in turns, me first, then her.

It was over an hour by the time Victoria returned. She came in from the balcony, having leapt up onto the terrace from the ground floor with her shoes in her hands. The doors were already open and we saw her both at the same time, lying in each other's arms on the bed.

"Vicky!" Alice cheered.

Victoria smiled, something of an exhausted smile, and tossed her shoes into the room. She was still wearing the same red dress but there was something different about her. I frowned puzzledly as I disengaged from Alice, sitting up in the bed and looking her over. She was looking at the floor shyly and now she looked up and smiled and blinked at me with—

Both of her eyes.

I stared at her in disbelief.

"Victoria," I gasped. "Your eye."

She chuckled once and lifted a hand to where her eyepatch used to be. "James's sick idea of poetry," she said. "He might never see me again, but I'll be looking into his eyes every time I look into a mirror. One of them, anyway."

Alice grinned. "I'm gonna miss your eyepatch," she said. "That eyepatch was so cute on you."

Victoria snorted and moved past the bed, taking off her earrings. I gaped at Alice. She had obviously known the entire time. Victoria tossed her earrings onto the dresser and turned back to us with both of her eyes, placing her hands on her hips.

"I see you two were quite eager to hop into bed without me," she commented waspishly.

Alice giggled. "Bella wanted to wait for you but I told her it was okay."

"Yes, well," Victoria said.

She took two handfuls of the fabric of her dress and lifted it up over her head and let it drop to the floor. Her breasts had been revealed and all of her legs and that tiny triangle of red lace which was her panties, but the only thing I could look at was her eyes, red like her hair, both of them so beautiful.

Victoria approached the bed, haughtily and yet not without a certain coyness. Alice and I were sitting up, naked, waiting for her. I could see in her eyes that her meeting with James had been a true farewell and she wasn't without a certain sadness. For three hundred years he had never truly loved her, yet now at the end, she discovered that he did—enough to let her go.

Her eyes sidled and dropped and lifted again to look at Alice and I, her future, waiting there in the bed for her, and she smiled.

"I don't suppose you'd mind if I joined in?" she asked.

Alice and I glanced at each other and then we grinned and lay back and opened our legs for Victoria to display how we were all hers.

Victoria smiled softly and then she climbed onto the bed and crawled toward us, between us, into us, our arms and legs closing around her like a venus flytrap and dragging her down, enwrapping her forever in a place where she would always and truly be loved.

—

Epilogue:

—

Twelve months later we were settled in England.

Alice and I were enrolled at a Catholic high school there in London where we wore a half-sexy uniform of thick woollen vests—beige in color—with blouses underneath and skirts that were pleated and plaid and fell to our knees. The socks almost came to our knees as well. Alice also wore a scarf and a black beret on her head and I had a scarf as well. It was snowing outside. The boys all wore white shirts and black pants, like young officeworkers, and they all spoke with a weird British accent.

The bell had rang after final period and Alice and I dashed through the snow—at humans speeds of course—into the next building where our lockers were. The lockers were made of wood, which still struck me as incredibly stupid. Everything in this country was ass-backwards, even the steering wheels. I had to learn how to drive all over again and I still didn't feel safe on those narrow roads, indestructible or not.

Alice giggled as I slammed my locker shut and started shoving my books in my bag. I hadn't taken kindly to repeating half of senior year, but at least it was almost over.

"Only two more weeks till graduation," I said. "It'll be my very first one and I'm already sick of it."

Alice closed her locker as well. "Don't worry, college will be more fun. Vicky said she'll come with us to college."

I sighed, still trying to shove my books into my bag. "Look at this shit," I said, gesturing at the bag angrily. "I'm a vampire, for god's sake. I killed a two thousand year old vampire king with my bare hands. And now I'm supposed to do homework? Does any of this seem fair to you?"

Alice slung her bag over her shoulder and placed a hand under my chin to make me look at her.

"Get over yourself, babe," she said, and then she placed a kiss on my lips.

Unfortunately, we were right there in the corridor and a group of boys had been going by. We had classes with some of them and we were friendly enough that they hooted and shouted catcalls in their stupid British voices.

I spun at them and took a threatening step toward them.

"How about you assholes look at something else before I break your fucking skulls open?"

They giggled like girls at my badass-ness, backing away, half stumbling, gasping under their breath about how hot I was. I could hear them all the way down the corridor. A group of nearby girls watched them go, rolling their eyes.

Alice sighed and placed a hand on my shoulder. I snorted.

"They think I'm joking," I said, glaring after the perverts. "They don't know I'm an unstable newborn."

Alice giggled and shook her head. "Sorry, babe, it's been a year. Newborn phase is over."

I glared at her wearily. Honeymoon phase must be over too, because all she did was tease me these days. But then she smiled and took my hand and led me down the corridor.

It was snowing out in the parking lot and still snowing as we drove home. Victoria had purchased a loft in Bryer Court which she had turned into a professional photography studio. The building was over fifty years old, built here after the area had been bombed out in World War 2. It was six floors of heavy brick with a vine that crept up the side and a view over the entire westside of London including Big Ben and Buckingham Palace. The roof was dusted with snow and the streets as well and there was someone going past on a bicycle as Alice and I pulled up outside.

Victoria was still in the middle of a photoshoot and we greeted her with kisses on the cheek while a pair of fashion models stood by with fur coats around their shoulders. Alice and I then went upstairs to the living area and did our homework like good little girls, me in a minor rage about it and her just calmly chatting and jotting down her notes. Once she was done, she helped me as well, and once we were both finished she slipped a hand up my skirt and rubbed my pussy cheekily. I grinned and let her kiss me and then we took off our wool vests and opened our blouses for a little fun time. It was better than watching TV.

The three of us went out that night to nowhere in particular, just strolling, all three of us bundled up in coats and mittens and scarfs slung around our necks. It was still snowing and the night was nice and frosty. Our route took us along the banks of the river Thames, the water black and inky, and up past Westminster Abby with its gothic spires rising into the night. We continued on through Trafalgar Square, around the several fountains that were bright in the night with lamps in the water, and past the four stone lions that guarded Nelson's Column. The lions were massive with magnificent manes and one time Alice had climbed on top of one of them and straddled its back like a cowgirl while I giggled below and Victoria took a picture. Alice had also once jumped into a fountain.

We still had the pictures back at the loft, framed in our bedroom along with several other pictures, photographs from all over London and from road trips to France and Germany as well, the three of us at the top of the Eiffel Tower or at the Berlin Wall.

We made love that night as we made love every night. By now we had amassed a modest collection of toys, including a new vibrator every week after Victoria kept crushing them in her vagina. Tonight Victoria did Alice with a strap-on while Alice was eating me out. Alice's orgasm tore the strap-on directly off the harness, and in the end we just laughed and tossed away the toys and doubleteamed each other in turns with nothing more than our lips and tongues and unending passion for each other.

It was about four in the morning when Victoria and I went out on the terrace together. We were entirely naked, but there was no one on the streets at this hour or in this weather. There was no moon in the sky or any stars, just a silent sift of pure white snow that landed in our hair and on our shoulders and sprinkled upon our breasts. Our skin was cold enough not to melt it. I was leaning a hip on the rail of the balcony, looking out over the dark skyline of London, and I was in a pleasant mood until Victoria spoke.

"So did you get your homework finished?" she asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh my god," I said. "Who are you, my mother?"

"No," she said smirking. "I'm your big sister."

I chuckled as she came around behind me and wrapped her arms around my middle in a very nude and very un-sisterly embrace. She placed her chin on my shoulder and I smiled.

"I really can't wait for college," I said. "At least then we can spend the day together."

Victoria nodded on my shoulder. "I was thinking we could go abroad somewhere. Paris, perhaps. They have some lovely universities in France."

"I don't speak French."

"I'll teach you."

"Great," I muttered. "More learning."

She giggled and released me and turned me around to look into my face. "_Oh, mon amour_, v_ous êtes tellement stupide_," she purred, presumably in French.

I narrowed an eye at her. "Was that something about love? Or stupidity?"

"Both," she whispered, and then she kissed me.

We were still kissing when Alice finally joined us on the balcony. She had three glasses filled with a dark red liquid and she handed one each to me and Victoria.

"Here you go," she said. "Might be time to raid a hospital again soon."

"Thanks," I said, taking the glass and sipping eagerly.

"How are you coping with the thirst, anyway?" she asked. "You're out of your newborn phase, but it's still so dangerous to drink human blood. Even if it is just blood bags. If it was up to me, I'd never let you."

I grinned at that, because I seemed to remember that Alice was the first one to agree about drinking human blood back in Volterra. "I'm fine, Alice," I said, sipping again.

Victoria smiled and shook her head, lifting the glass to her mouth. Alice had sipped as well and now she seemed to notice what a beautiful night it was.

"Mmm, look at that," she said. "It's still snowing."

"Yeah," I murmured. A few snowflakes had caught in Alice's eyelashes and Victoria's breasts looked like they had been dusted with icing sugar. I looked up at the sky, at all that blackness with just the snow falling out of it, and then I looked down at my hand. A snowflake fell onto my palm and did not expire. The sight moved me because I thought it was an nice metaphor for our relationship. True love, like a snowflake, is unique and beautiful and often dissolves as soon as you touch it. But our love never will. Like the snowflake in my pale palm it would persist there forever, as beautiful as it was unique and implacable, the three of us frozen in time for all eternity. I smiled and lifted my hand and blew the snowflake over the balcony like a kiss, restoring it to the winds and the weathers of the world. Then I turned back to Alice and Victoria.

"Come on, let's go back inside," I said. "If there's one thing about being a vampire that doesn't completely suck, it's unlimited energy to have sex, all night, every night."

"I'll toast to that," Victoria said, raising her glass.

Alice giggled and raised hers too. "Me too."

I laughed and clinked my glass to theirs and then we gulped them down and went back inside.

—

**AN: This was the ending. Thanks to those who read this far, I really hope you guys liked it.**


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